[Episode 69] - Distrust
“What do you intend to do by sending Princess Titania into the mist?”
Fiona once again felt herself growing emotional.
No matter how hard she tried to think rationally, coldly, before that woman’s face she melted helplessly. The anxiety and impatience boiling inside her, and her hatred, became heat that dissolved her reason.
But what choice did she have?
Sending the princess into that mist now was no different from Vivian introducing Titania to a “fairy.” Fiona frowned, looked at Vivian, and made a vow.
She had to stop that, no matter what.
From Fiona’s point of view, no matter how kindly she tried to see it, Vivian’s goal could only be “this.” To introduce the princess to a fairy, and turn her into a “witch” just like herself.
She truly wanted to stop that, if nothing else.
Because becoming a “witch” was never a good thing.
*
“What do you intend to do by sending Princess Titania into the mist?”
At Princess Fiona’s worried question, I was momentarily at a loss for words and could say nothing. I had no idea on what basis Princess Fiona had reached such a conclusion, but for now, clearing up this misunderstanding that was not quite a misunderstanding came first.
“I don’t know what you mean. Why do you think I would send the princess into that mist? You heard what kind of mist it is, so you should know very well.”
“...Yes, I know. I’m asking because I know. What are you planning to do by putting the princess into that mist? Why do I think that? Because if it’s you, you’d be more than capable of doing something like that.”
“...Princess Fiona. Did you learn nothing even after I slapped you last time?”
When I gently raised my hand as if to threaten her, perhaps thinking I was about to slap her again, Princess Fiona’s shoulders flinched. Like a child afraid of being scolded. At the sight, I lowered my hand again and let out a deep sigh.
“...What you’re imagining will absolutely never happen, so go back to the tent. I think this every time, but it’s unpleasant how you seem to see me as such an unreasonable person. You act as though you’re certain I abuse Titania, and it makes me feel awful.”
Perhaps I had grown tired of Princess Fiona’s attitude, always treating me like a bad person. Without meaning to, my reply came out sharp. But unless I spoke firmly like this, Princess Fiona would not understand.
I let out another heavy sigh, then lifted my head and looked at Princess Fiona. Would it be all right to ask now? What on earth had happened between her and Vivian in the past?
I had asked Ainsel about Princess Fiona as well, but Ainsel had said she did not know about the relationship between the two. Ainsel, too, did not know every detail of Vivian’s life.
The reason I had not asked until now was because I worried Princess Fiona would be hurt if I, with my mouth—that is, Vivian’s mouth—said, “I don’t remember what happened between you and me.”
Princess Fiona was someone who trembled with hatred at the mere sight of “Vivian’s” face. But if I, Vivian, said here, “What did I do to you? I don’t remember,” what would Princess Fiona think?
I could all too easily imagine Princess Fiona lunging at me and strangling me while shouting, “You did something like that to me and you don’t remember?! You don’t remember?!” So I had kept my mouth tightly shut until now.
I glanced at Titania, who was beside me, not knowing what to do, then tapped my lap as if telling her to come here. Then Titania, who had been looking back and forth between me and Princess Fiona, fidgeted before settling herself on my lap.
“Hah.”
Princess Fiona’s face twisted again. At that expression, I, too, naturally sighed. After letting out a small breath, I patted Titania on the back and asked. At times like this, the person involved should have the final say.
“Titania, it seems Princess Fiona is mistaken and thinks I abuse you. Would you tell Princess Fiona in my stead? How you and I usually live together.”
“Uh, um, well...”
Titania furtively lifted her head and looked at Princess Fiona’s face. At that eerily distorted face, Titania immediately averted her gaze and fidgeted, answering in a small voice.
“Please don’t f-fight... M-Mom isn’t a bad person...? She said she was bad in the p-past... but she really isn’t a bad person now... She’s really good to me... a-and...”
Where had the momentum she had shown earlier when she snapped at Princess Fiona gone? Seeing Princess Fiona’s thoroughly distorted expression, Titania looked like a frightened baby squirrel. In the end, Titania, who had been mumbling in a voice that grew smaller and smaller, had no choice but to bow her head and close her mouth.
Well... even to me, Princess Fiona’s face was frightening beyond belief.
It was entirely understandable that Titania was scared.
“...In any case, as Titania said, I have never abused the child or anything of the sort. Rather, I’m doing my best as this child’s parent. What you’re thinking really will not happen.”
“...Is that so?”
“To begin with, I have no idea why you think I would put Titania into that mist. As you know, that mist is one you cannot escape once you enter.”
As I continued speaking, frustration began to weigh on my chest.
We had little time as it was, and Princess Fiona kept picking strange fights, which made irritation surge inside me. In a slightly sharp voice, I questioned Princess Fiona.
“Are you trying to say that I would ‘abandon my daughter in that mist’? That I, of all people, would abandon my daughter Titania?”
“My... daughter...?”
Princess Fiona let out a hollow laugh, as if she found my answer absurd.
Watching her lose her reason once again, I frowned and looked at her. I could not tell whether she was jealous of Titania, or whether she despised me.
Princess Fiona muttered something, and at the same time her face twisted as she looked at me with an expression that seemed about to cry. It looked so sorrowful, so utterly miserable, that I was even more at a loss for words and could say nothing.
“You... say... something like that?”
In the end, a single tear quietly ran down Princess Fiona’s cheek.
It looked as if emotions on the verge of bursting had leaked out. Princess Fiona covered her face with both hands to hide her strangely distorted expression, and with trembling lips, she barely managed to speak to me.
“The person who called me vermin, called me a maggot... says something like that in front of me?”
Her halting words grew more and more disordered. The more she spoke, the more sobs slipped through her lips. Princess Fiona’s body began to tremble like an aspen, and in the end she collapsed down where she stood.
Just as I stepped toward Princess Fiona, wondering what on earth was happening—
Her brown hair, which had looked almost golden in the sunlight, gradually darkened from the ends, and before long, it began turning into black hair like the night sky. Her shoulder-length hair also grew in an instant, falling all the way down her back.
Her tear-filled black eyes began to waver as well, and soon they gradually turned red like pomegranate seeds. Skin as white as snow, hair like ebony. And eyes as red as drops of blood.
That appearance resembled someone so much that I could only open and close my mouth as I stared at her. In this situation where everything was filled with questions, this much was certain.
She was not “Princess Fiona.”
Not Princess Fiona, but rather—
I looked down at Titania, who was in my arms with a startled expression.
The same black hair and the same red eyes.
“Ti... tania...?”
When I called “her” with trembling lips, the woman who looked exactly like Titania in my arms shed tears and glared at me with icy eyes. With a gaze that seemed ready to leap at me and kill me at any moment.
*
I did not want to believe it.
I hated believing it.
The fact that that woman was different from the woman I knew.
Because I simply did not want to believe it, I simply did not face reality.
I did not want to know.
I hated knowing.
Because if I admitted that she was different from the woman I had known, it felt as though something inside me would collapse. Hatred toward her had been everything in “this” life. Only if she did not change could I feel that I was still alive.
But for some reason, the “Vivian” here was different. Instead of insulting the “me” here, she praised her; instead of hitting the “me” here, she embraced her. Every time I saw that, only one thought came to mind.
“Why only me?”
If you were someone capable of giving love like that, why were you so cruel to me? You were the one who insulted me instead of praising me, who slapped my cheek instead of stroking me.
“Why only to me?”
Was there perhaps something wrong with me? Had I done something wrong? Was it because I had done something wrong that you insulted and persecuted me? Then what on earth is different between that child and me?
Faced with questions that bred more questions, I had no choice but to give up. It was already in the past, and the “Vivian” I knew was already dead. And so vainly, so emptily at that. Perhaps that was why it was even worse.
Why my insides seemed to boil every time I saw that woman, why I became furious.
A woman who looked exactly like “that woman,” who had died before I could even release the hatred piled up inside me. But in the things she did, she was unmistakably a different person. I found it hard to endure the revulsion born from that dissonance.
That was why emotion came first whenever I stood before that woman.
Memories of the past ran wild, and unresolved resentment seethed.
And now, unable to overcome my emotions, even the magic I had used to disguise myself as “Princess Fiona” had come undone. This wasn’t what I had meant to do. This wasn’t my intention. I had only come to stop the princess from going into the mist.
Whenever I stood before that woman, everything I had planned fell apart.
I wiped away my tears and lifted my head, looking at Vivian and Titania standing before me. Perhaps still unable to grasp the situation, Titania’s eyes were round, and the mirror fairy was flustered as well. Vivian, like the mirror fairy, was merely opening and closing her mouth. How foolish.
As I sniffled and wiped away my tears, I heard the sound of small feet pattering toward me from the forest. Perhaps it had noticed that my magic had come undone; from afar, a small “dwarf” approached my side.
-Master~~!!
A “brownie,” its brown hair flying and its green eyes brimming with tears, came running to my side before I knew it. Then, to protect me, it spread both arms wide, glared at Vivian, and growled.
-Don’t bully Master!! You wicked Baba Yaga!