Episode 88
The next morning, when Rowena opened her eyes, the first thing to greet her was a rich medley of floral scents. Startled, she sat up, and saw that flowers in full bloom had been arranged in vases all throughout the room.
As Rowena only stared with wide, startled eyes, the maid who was setting the last vase by the window greeted her.
“Good morning. Did you sleep well?”
“What on earth is all this?”
“Ah, these are the same flowers as the ones in the courtyard flowerbeds. Aren’t they pretty?”
“That’s not what I’m asking. Who…….”
“Ah.”
The maid answered with a bright smile.
“The guest in the annex.”
“What?”
“They were all planted because they’re the flowers you like, my lady. Didn’t you know?”
At the question returned to her, Rowena was left speechless. She put on a robe and got out of bed. When she threw the window open wide, the flowerbed that had been completed not long ago greeted her. The dizzying fragrance seized her sight as much as her sense of smell.
The fluttering butterflies, the high, vivid blue sky, and the garden spread out before her. It truly felt as though she had fallen asleep in a field of flowers and awakened in one. As if everything that had happened last night had been a dream.
Had it been a dream? No. No, it hadn’t. On her way back, she had taken a fork she had never been down before, and hadn’t it led to the back door that opened outside?
Just as Rowena gathered her thoughts and was about to close the window again—
Someone was sitting at the tea table in the courtyard. The moment she saw the man sitting with his long legs elegantly crossed, leisurely enjoying a late brunch, Rowena’s brows rose.
“……
Killian?”
It was a small murmur to herself, but perhaps he had heard it, for the man turned to look. Their eyes met at once. Wasn’t he someone so busy that even two bodies would not be enough? Toward the frozen Rowena, he silently moved his lips.
Come down.
She wondered if he had found out she had gone to his room yesterday, but fortunately, that was not the case. As Rowena sat across from him with a thoroughly uncomfortable expression, Killian poured tea into her cup. Rowena quietly watched him do what a maid should have done. He was a man accustomed to being waited on by others, but the reverse was something he would never have done even if he died and came back to life.
At the sight, strange to the point of grotesque, her expression gradually twisted.
“Did you eat something wrong?”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“This. What you’re doing right now. And this garden, and the flowers in my room.”
“Is that not allowed?”
“……
What?”
Killian, who had been tilting his teacup, set it down with an audible clink.
“I’m courting you. I’m trying to look good in your eyes and win your favor. What’s wrong with that?”
Courting. Favor. Startled by words she had never expected, Rowena paused for breath.
“It is wrong. Nothing will change just because you do this. Even this situation right now is the same. You’ve locked me up here against my will, so what are you doing? Why are you wasting Your Highness’s precious time?”
She spoke while holding her breath as much as she could, but she could not hide the agitation at the end of her words.
“Don’t call me that.”
Killian spread jam on a scone and held it to her lips. When Rowena refused to open her mouth to the end, Killian awkwardly set it back on the plate and laced his fingers together on the table.
“I want you. I want you by my side.”
“……
You asked me to forgive you. How about setting me free first and then begging for forgiveness?”
“Of course I’ll beg for forgiveness too. So give me a chance.”
“What on earth is your reason for going this far? Why are you so obsessed with me?”
At the direct question, those blue eyes gazed steadily at her. When the ensuing silence was about to suffocate her, he answered.
“Because you are precious to me.”
Rowena’s eyes widened. At the sight, Killian swallowed dryly. It was the first time in his life. He had said he was sorry before, but he had never once properly put his feelings for her into words.
“…….”
“……
Rowena.”
The silence that returned was unfamiliar and made him anxious. It felt as though he were speaking to a wall. Just as he was about to say something again to the person who gave no answer, a low laugh dug into his ears.
“Ha ha.”
It was a laugh filled with emptiness and disbelief. When the frozen Killian called her name, Rowena sprang to her feet as though shuddering.
“Stop it. Do you still have more deceit left to throw at me?”
“I understand even if you don’t believe me.”
Rowena secretly clenched and unclenched her fist. She hated how unsettled her heart was. She hated that, even after she had put everything in order, he still shook her in some unexpected way. The moment last night tried to resurface, Rowena shook her head and erased the memory.
“Do you even know what it means to say someone is precious to you? It means that person can never be replaced.”
“That is why I’m here.”
“You lie without so much as blinking.”
As Rowena scoffed, a shadow fell over her. Killian had risen silently. He braced his hands on either side of the table and bent his upper body until his breath could reach her.
“I am a liar, Rowena.”
Rowena’s spine stiffened, and without realizing it, she took a step back. With eyes that looked as though he might pursue her at any moment, Killian whispered.
“But not now. I would stake my life on it.”
“…….”
“I have never seen you through the image of another woman. Because you cannot be replaced by anyone.”
He was saying that neither his previous wife nor his dead betrothed from the womb meant anything. Rowena was about to argue back, but she quietly bit her lower lip. Perhaps what he said was true. After all, the one who had told her the story of his betrothed from the womb was none other than the late Baron Sussex. He had been the mastermind who slandered her and drove her out.
Lowering her eyes, Rowena calmly sorted through her thoughts.
The portrait placed beside his bed had been none other than her own. The reason her heart was turbulent now was because she was confused by that truth, which she had only just realized.
That was all. The fact that he had missed her more than she had thought, that he had not been able to forget her. Perhaps Killian had been at least somewhat sincere toward her. But.
After calming herself, Rowena slowly raised her head.
“Let me add one thing. To cherish someone, to love someone, means you may have to become wretched.”
“…….”
“It means you would be fine crawling on the ground for that person, and you wouldn’t care if you rolled through the mud.”
The veins rose on the hands braced against the table. Rowena glanced sideways at them and calmly reached her conclusion.
“But you are still up in the sky. Just as you always have, you’re arrogantly looking down at me from your high place. As if.”
“As if?”
“As if you were looking at a beloved pet.”
It was the same expression again. Like at the opera house last night. A rigid face. Lips pressed tightly shut. A reaction that neither denied nor affirmed. Like the face of a proud man who had suffered a fatal wound but would not show it until the moment he died.
She turned away and began to leave, but a low voice caught her.
“Then what do you want me to do?”
What do I have to do for you to forgive me and look at me again? For a moment, it sounded as if he were pleading, and Rowena stopped.
“Who knows.”
The sea inside her heart stirred with faint ripples, then grew calm again. A malicious impulse rose and moved her lips.
“Rowena.”
“Would you like to try becoming my kept lover this time?”
The contempt and ridicule that had poured down on her. The insults like filth dumped over her after the praises. She had taken his hand because she had had no other choice, but the price had been greater than she could have imagined. As she recalled the gazes that had looked away and ignored her, the corners of her lips, which she had barely managed to lift, stiffened. It had been the price of her choice, so it was a punishment she had naturally had to bear, but the one who had allowed her to suffer such humiliation was this man.
Those were days when she had been led around like a dog on a leash. Days when she alone had clung and pleaded. Rowena forced her back straight and moved her lips.
“…….”
“Then perhaps I might be able to believe your sincerity.”
Instead of answering, Killian raised an eyebrow. At the intense emotion radiating quietly from him, Rowena refused to deal with him any longer and left.
* * *
Damian, who had handed Lauren a bouquet of flowers, smiled brightly and said goodbye.
“Please get well soon, ma’am! I’ll come again with my brother.”
“Yes. Thank you for coming.”
Lauren smiled and stroked Damian’s hair. But the smile lasted only a moment. As soon as Cedric briefly sent Damian out of the hospital room first, Lauren’s expression changed at once.
“Cedric.”
With a look in which apology, guilt, and worry were all tangled together, she spoke as though soothing him.
“You don’t have to go all that way because of me.”
“Sister.”
“I don’t know the details, but Rowena is in a bad situation, isn’t she?”
“……
No.”
“What do you mean, no? It wouldn’t make sense otherwise. The fact that you came separately now, and that you’re taking Damian back there—not anywhere else, but there. Unless there were unavoidable circumstances…….”
“Sister.”
Cedric called Lauren firmly and explained kindly.
“Rowena couldn’t come with us because she’s busy with Miss Cecilia’s lessons right now. And Damian is going to Ethelwood with me simply because he likes traveling. If he were afraid of the sea or didn’t want to go, I wouldn’t take him by force.”
“Cedric…….”
“It’s true, Sister. Trust me.”
“……
All right.”
Lauren, who reluctantly nodded, let out a dry cough. Cedric turned deathly pale and was about to call a doctor, but Lauren caught hold of him.
“I’m fine. I’ve always had coughs like this. More importantly, you have one more thing to tell me, don’t you?”
It was a sharp question. Having been struck at the heart of it, Cedric hesitated for a moment before getting to the point.
“I have one piece of good news to tell you.”
“Say it.”
“Tomorrow, Rowena and I are holding the ceremony. It will be a wedding without guests, a wedding dress, or a tuxedo, though.”
“I knew it.”
Lauren’s face brightened, and even while struggling with her cough, she smiled brightly. At the sight, Cedric also smiled.
“Did you expect it?”
“Somehow, I thought it might be so. When I saw Rowena last time…….”
When Rowena, who had always said no so firmly, had for the first time worn a face that seemed to be thinking about Cedric, Lauren had glimpsed hope. Worried that her youngest brother might become too triumphant, Lauren swallowed the next words and caressed Cedric’s cheek.
Cedric, receiving her touch like a purring cat, gently lowered her hand.