Episode 60
“I’ll be good from now on. So Mama…… don’t cry. Okay?”
“It’s just that.”
The shift of sorrow happened in an instant. Before long, Demian’s eyes were also welling with tears.
“No. Demian. I’m not crying because of you, our son.”
He was a son who should have been dearly loved and raised by proper parents. She felt heartbroken and sorry toward Demian, who had learned to read the room and matured too quickly at a young age because of the adults’ circumstances.
“Then why are you crying?”
“Because I’m so happy.”
“Happy?”
“Yeah. Because now I can live with our son and your uncle.”
“……
Just the three of us?”
“Yeah. Just the three of us.”
Thinking the repeated question was confirmation, Rowina smiled brightly. At that smile, Demian, who had been hesitating, bit his lip.
“But Mama…….”
“Yeah?”
“……
Never mind.”
Seeing Rowina wipe her tears and put on a bright expression, Demian shook his head.
“Then see you later. My treasure. My cotton candy. I love you.”
“Yeah. Mama. See you later. I love you too.”
Rowina kissed Demian’s cheeks in turn one last time, then dusted off her seat and rose. As she opened the child’s door and went out, she met eyes with a man waiting outside.
Her heart plummeted in shock. The painter greeted the blinking Rowina, whose face had gone stark white, with an awkward expression.
“I’m sorry. I heard you were here…….”
“When did you arrive?”
With wary eyes, Rowina clenched and unclenched her fist.
“Ah. I just arrived.”
“I see…….”
As her raised shoulders came down at the continued answer, the painter, who had tilted his head at her dramatic reaction, abruptly took interest in the room beyond.
“But this place is—”
“You came looking for me because of the painting, right?”
Rowina cut his words off uncharacteristically, diverting the painter’s attention elsewhere.
“Ah. Yes. That’s right.”
“You haven’t found the expression you want yet?”
“I’m ashamed to say…… but yes.”
The painter trailed off, lowering his eyes in shame. Tomorrow was precisely the engagement ceremony. Having received such an honorable commission, he had to live up to it, but he simply couldn’t capture an expression worthy of being painted into the portrait. That said, it was absolutely not because the subject was ugly. She was a woman more beautiful than any opera singer he had ever painted, more beautiful than any famous foreign actress.
But precisely because of that, it was even harder to wield the brush. The composition and beauty already drawn on the canvas were both perfect; if only he could paint just one expression to adorn the dragon’s eyes, it might perhaps become a masterpiece to be remembered for ages. Even following her around to permitted places, an expression worth mentioning was rarely seen.
Rowina Fillone. A woman who was to rise from the position of a high Duke’s mistress to his fiancée, she was consistently elegant and bright. She was always kind to those of lower station, and apart from the two hired hands who always attended by her side as companions and servants, she had never once spoken casually.
But no matter how brightly she smiled, something was lacking. Like the beauties in portraits from over a hundred years ago, she was merely beautiful; any liveliness or emotion was blurred as if by fog, difficult to see clearly.
“Then I’m going to board a boat tonight, so come with me.”
“A boat, you say?”
It was early summer, sunny and with a cool breeze. It wasn’t even a hot day, nor a long summer afternoon; it was unexpected that she would board a boat at night. Rowina smiled faintly at the painter tilting his head.
“Yes. You can’t ride together with me, but if it’s alright, would you come with me?”
“Of course. Where should I go by what time?”
The painter nodded repeatedly and asked back. Rowina, who had been silent as if thinking for a moment, soon answered.
“Come to the main entrance at nine.”
* * *
When evening came to nine o’clock, the sun hid beyond the horizon, and instead, the risen moon faintly lit the night sky.
No matter how long they had prepared, it was a dangerous affair. Jeremy emphasized the plan to the mother and child over and over.
“When I give the signal, jump into the sea and then both of you swim straight to the place I told you. You can do it, right?”
“I can do it. Don’t worry, Uncle.”
“That’s right. Don’t worry!”
Rowina, gripping Demian’s hand tightly, smiled faintly at him.
But even though she had given birth to a child and become a mother, in Jeremy’s eyes she was still a small, young niece. Jeremy looked back and forth between Rowina and Demian with anxious eyes and let out a heavy sigh.
“If anything really happens to you and Demian…… I can’t do it. It’s really too reckless. Not today. I’ll use another method.”
“Uncle.”
Rowina smiled bitterly and firmly called out to Jeremy, who was speaking in a weak voice unlike himself.
“Tomorrow is the engagement ceremony. It’s already hard to hide Demian’s identity any longer. Soon every possibility will close. This is the first and last chance.”
“Rowina…….”
“No matter how honorable and noble a position it is, I don’t want to become his fiancée like this, nor the Duchess.”
“Then what about the things this child, Demian, could have had?”
Jeremy, who had been resolutely preparing for the escape, asked as if testing the waters one last time.
“The title, wealth, and honor your son rightfully deserves? Are you truly confident you won’t regret it?”
“Uncle…….”
“Once he learns this is his son, no matter how much of a bastard he is, his own child will be dear to him.”
“No.”
Rowina shook her head resolutely and lightly covered Demian’s ears with both hands.
“That man is not that kind of man. Even if a son suddenly appeared one day, he would never believe it. Even if somehow he were made to believe, he is someone incapable of loving this child. Absolutely.”
Having set down the thread-like hope she had held onto until the very end, her resolve grew even firmer. Jeremy, having confirmed her unwavering sincerity, smiled faintly.
“Yes. That’s what I wanted to hear.”
“Uncle…….”
“Once you escape safely from the Duke, there are people I want to introduce to you.”
“People you want to introduce?”
“Yes. I don’t know if they will be poison or medicine to you…….”
It was the moment the puzzled Rowina blinked at Jeremy’s murmur. A knock followed, and Melissa’s voice interrupted from beyond the door.
“Lady Rowina. Your preparations for going out are complete.”
Exchanging a determined glance with Jeremy, Rowina had Demian pull his hat down snugly.
As they came down the long staircase, a carriage waiting in front of the entrance greeted them. After putting Demian in the carriage first, Rowina turned around before climbing in.
The bedroom she had thought would be dark was lit up bright. Rowina faced the man looking down at them from beyond the window.
It was not a close distance, but his blue irises glinted like the eyes of a beast in the darkness.
“Lady Rowina?”
Rowina looked up at those eyes quietly. Melissa’s voice calling her, the whinnying of the horses, the clear and cool night air—all of it disappeared. For a moment, everything around them vanished, leaving only the two of them.
They were the eyes she had once loved and wanted so dearly. He was a man she had prayed and prayed would look solely at her. And it was a face her son would grow to look exactly like.
The two pairs of eyes that had been binding each other in a precarious tug-of-war broke apart due to the sound of footsteps rushing up in a fluster.
“Wait a moment! I’m coming with you!”
“Painter, sir?”
A startled Melissa gaped.
“I mean, how can you follow her around day and night like this?”
“This is something Lady Rowina has permitted.”
As if seeking consent, the painter turned his head toward Rowina.
Rowina, who had let go first from the tense tug-of-war, straightened her head.
“He’s right.”
“Lady Rowina…….”
Melissa looked at Rowina with a hurt expression. This was the same woman who had refused to let Joan or even herself go to the seaside together. Yet now she had invited a painter she had only known for a few months to accompany her; even knowing she had no right to feel this way, resentment welled up.
“Can’t I go with you too?”
Melissa glanced at the painter sitting annoyingly beside Demian and coaxed as if begging. For some reason, an eerie premonition that she couldn’t just let them go like this made her anxious.
“Even if I can’t ride the boat together, at least let me see you off. Right?”
“No.”
Rowina shook her head and glanced upward. The man who had been looking down at them with unreadable eyes was gone. The curtains were drawn and the light was out.
Only after confirming that did Rowina close the carriage door.
“You betrayed me five years ago. And now you say you’ll follow me tonight? How could I trust you?”
“Ro…… Lady Rowina…….”
“Don’t call my name.”
“Ah…… ahh.”
Melissa staggered as if struck by lightning and sank down. Rowina looked down at her and muttered calmly.
“So it was you after all.”
“…….”
“And yet, I had wondered if perhaps it wasn’t.”
At first, it was a small ember. After learning that the incident five years ago was Benedict Sussex’s scheme, a sudden question had swirled in her mind.
Who exactly had reported her every move to Baron Sussex?
If it wasn’t Gertrude.
It was Melissa who had urged her to meet the man named William, and Melissa who had testified about her affair. She didn’t know why Killian hadn’t told her that as well.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry……!”
Melissa grabbed the hem of her skirt and pleaded, her shoulders trembling.
“I’m truly sorry…… I really didn’t want to do it. Please forgive me.”
A heavy silence fell. Rowina extended her hand to the panting Melissa.