Chapter 40
“You don’t know what I mean?”
“What… do you mean?”
No matter how hard she thought about it, she couldn’t understand.
“You had no trouble snapping back at the viscountess, but the more I see of you, the more innocent you are, Miss Philone.”
Shaking her head as if looking at a frustrating daughter, the countess continued gravely.
“It means Her Majesty has chosen the young lady of the Marquisate of Taldon as the next Duchess of Devonshire. Secretly, at that.”
Rowena drew in a startled breath at the words she had never expected. Another woman for Killian? As she doubted her own ears, the countess drove the point home with pitying eyes.
“Has nothing changed about His Grace?”
“Nothing like…”
Just as she was about to say no, Melissa’s words from the previous night came to mind. That he would not be coming to the townhouse for a while… She hadn’t told her the exact reason. She had only heard that he had a great deal of work. In that respect, it was no different from five years ago. Killian disliked her knowing more than necessary.
“Ah…”
Covering her mouth, Rowena let out a groan. A heavy shock rattled her head. She had been so preoccupied with escaping that she had never even considered the possibility. Even though it was entirely plausible. The pain that had burrowed into her chest gradually spread to the tips of her fingers and toes. Rowena defined the name of this emotion as betrayal. It had to be that. She could not acknowledge anything else.
Killian’s wife. The duchess. Another substitute.
“Oh, Miss Philone…”
The countess moved to sit beside Rowena, whose hands were trembling, and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
“I know it must be a shock, but it can’t be helped. Nobles like me cannot decide their marriages by their own will.”
“……”
“And especially not high-ranking nobles like His Grace.”
Her voice was full of sympathy and regret. Instead of answering, Rowena buried her face in both hands. It felt as though someone were stepping down on her chest. She had resolved to run away, and yet it still hurt.
“But His Grace will never abandon you, Miss Philone. No one has stayed by his side as long as you have, and no one has received as much of his favor as you have. I’ll do my best to help as well. We’re already in the same boat, after all.”
Even as she patted the disheartened Rowena on the back, the countess’s mind was moving quickly. Even a duchess was no better than a scarecrow without the duke’s support and favor. Conversely, even a mere mistress could wield absolute power if she monopolized the duke’s complete affection. It was a time to choose one’s side wisely.
“That…
person…”
After a long silence in which she had only been taking deep breaths, Rowena slowly moved her lips.
“Does she, by any chance, have blond hair and green eyes?”
“……
Like you?”
At the sudden question, the countess furrowed her brow. Rowena barely managed to lift the corners of her mouth and nodded.
“Yes. Like me. Does she resemble me?”
“Hmm… I’ve never seen her in person. But from what I’ve heard…”
The countess fell silent for a moment as if searching her memory, then slowly shook her head.
“No. I’m certain I heard she had reddish-brown hair. I don’t know about the color of her eyes, though.”
That answer was enough. As much as it seemed ridiculous that her entire body had gone rigid, the moment she heard the countess’s words, all the strength drained out of her. A strange sense of exhaustion enveloped Rowena, as if she had run at full speed until she collapsed. With a face emptied of all vitality, she laughed hollowly.
“I see.”
“But why do you ask?”
“It’s nothing. I was just curious.”
Rowena smiled faintly at the countess, whose eyes were shining with curiosity, then soon gathered up her parasol and stood. The countess rose with her, looking bewildered.
“You’re leaving already?”
“Yes. I have an appointment soon. Thank you very much for telling me, Countess.”
“I’ll lend you a carriage, so take it.”
“No. I couldn’t impose on you any further. It isn’t far, so I’ll walk. The weather has warmed a great deal, too.”
Naturally shaking off the countess, who tried to keep her there, Rowena left the townhouse. Thinking the countess would be watching through the window, she pretended to head toward the duke’s townhouse, then turned into an alley. Just then, she spotted a hired carriage letting off a passenger. Rowena hailed the carriage and headed straight for the train station.
“Rowena!”
The one who came to see her off was Jeremy. Removing his hat and climbing into the carriage, Jeremy lightly kissed his beloved niece on the forehead.
“Judging by your complexion, you seem to have been well.”
“Of course. As you told me, Uncle, I’ve been behaving myself, so it’s been very peaceful.”
She replied lightly, but what had just happened with the countess lingered like a thorn in her mouth. Melissa had covered for her well enough, but Damian’s existence had been discovered… and then there was the matter of Killian’s remarriage.
The woman named Chloe. And herself. The complicated emotions that had rushed in upon hearing that she did not have blond hair and green eyes still remained in her chest like residue.
At Rowena’s expression, which had somehow grown hazy, Jeremy furrowed his brow.
“It seems something happened.”
“……
Uncle. Perhaps…”
If she tried to clumsily deceive him, she would only make him worry more. Biting her lip, Rowena confessed obediently.
“We may not need to run away.”
“What do you mean?”
“It isn’t official news, but… it seems His Grace’s remarriage partner has been decided.”
“What?”
“They say this time it’s a young lady from a highly noble marquisate. Someone of an entirely different rank from me.”
With a self-deprecating smile, Rowena forced herself to shrug as if it were nothing.
“When the marriage formally goes back and forth, I’ll be thrown away again.”
Moreover, this partner was not a “substitute.” Not a toy to be discarded without hesitation when he grew bored, but a noble woman he would truly respect and love.
“Rowena.”
“If I just hide Damian well until then, it should be fine. Though he doesn’t seem to have any interest in the child to begin with.”
“Rowena.”
“I’ll be abandoned before the wedding. It feels foolish that I’ve been so anxious all this time. Haha…”
“Rowena!”
Jeremy grabbed his niece’s shoulders as she murmured like someone dazed and spoke calmly.
“Calm down.”
“Uncle…
I want to kill him.”
“……”
“He makes me so miserable… sob… so terribly miserable.”
The tears she had stubbornly held back finally burst. Inside the moving carriage, Rowena cried in her uncle’s arms. Only after she had cried for a long while did Jeremy lift her head.
“I think differently, Rowena.”
“What do you mean?”
“The duke has no intention of letting you go. Never. Even if he gets married.”
He was a man who pretended to be indifferent, but whose every nerve was directed toward Rowena. For the first month after she had come to the castle, despite their considerable age difference, Jeremy had to be careful even about exchanging words with Rowena.
Though he had never properly introduced himself to the man, the gaze of the man beside Rowena had always held a dank, clinging obsession that seemed to have crawled up from the very bottom. He was the kind of man who would rather snap the other person’s neck than be abandoned.
That was why Jeremy had put even more effort into preparing their escape, and it had been far more difficult than expected.
“Do you really think so?”
“I do. When has my intuition ever been wrong?”
“……
Never.”
Rowena obediently shook her head and swept both hands up her cheeks. Once she forced the corners of her mouth upward, she felt somewhat lighter.
Watching her quietly, Jeremy hesitated before opening his mouth.
“But Rowena, you…”
“Yes?”
“……
Never mind.”
Jeremy moved his lips several times as if about to speak, then turned his gaze toward the window. Rowena, who had looked puzzled for a moment, also turned to look outside.
The cold was diminishing day by day. It was April, when early spring had begun and all kinds of revived life were starting to fill the world with vitality. Rowena etched into her eyes the sights she likely would not be able to see once all the snow melted, spring passed, and summer arrived.
* * *
The freedom suddenly granted to her came to a short end. Killian, who had not shown his face for three days, abruptly returned one night. As soon as she heard the telegram, Rowena hurriedly sent Damian away and stood at the entrance like a proper wife to receive him. The moment the door opened, she smiled brightly and greeted him.
“You’re back.”
Instead of answering, Killian gave a slight nod and removed his hat and gloves. Rowena took them and handed them to Bianca, then followed closely behind Killian as he went up to the bedroom.
“I was worried because there was no word from you. Did the urgent matter end well?”
“Are you that curious?”
“Of course. I always have been.”
Answering softly, Rowena closed the bedroom door behind her. Killian loosened his tie, took off his coat as well, and handed it to her before sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace.
Sitting across from him, Rowena watched him as he lifted the glass of liquor she had prepared in advance. He was a man who pursued perfection to an almost fastidious degree. Even after returning from long hours of work, he had never once had so much as a disheveled hem.
And yet, for some reason, he seemed a little unfamiliar tonight. The feeling that had wrapped around her when they reunited several months ago came over Rowena once again. In the ensuing silence, Rowena swallowed and cautiously broached the subject.
“Are you feeling unwell? Did something happen?”
It might have been her imagination, but he seemed somehow different from usual. His already pale face looked ashen, and his cheeks seemed slightly gaunt. As if he had been suffering from a serious illness or a deep injury.
But what returned to her cautious concern was cold sarcasm.