Episode 3
The sender of the letter was a small independent publisher.
Rowina looked up at the building with an excited heart. The place where she stood was not a wealthy district lined with stately townhouses, but a street in Harlem. The building before her was old, paint peeling in places to expose the plaster, without so much as a proper sign.
She was somewhat nervous at the unexpected sight, but it was still all right.
Wasn't this the only publisher out of all those she had sent manuscripts to that had sent a reply?
“Miss…”
Just then, a frightened voice drew the attention of Rowina, whose heart was swelling with anticipation. She turned her head to find Melissa anxiously scanning their surroundings.
“Miss…, where are we…? You said we were going shopping at the department store.”
“Well…”
Rowina averted her gaze, feeling guilty before that innocent face.
It was a secret that she had submitted a novel under a man’s name, and it was also something no one must know that this place was a publisher. Because the Count wished for her to be a doll who stayed quietly at home.
Attendants always followed after her, but after three years, when Melissa accompanied her, no separate person tagged along. That was why she had taken advantage of Melissa, who knew nothing. Melissa, who had been eyeing Rowina suspiciously as she avoided answering, glanced at the bag in Rowina’s grip.
“Isn’t that men’s clothing? What in the world is this…?”
“Well…”
Hesitating, Rowina raised her index finger to her lips.
“I’ll tell you if you keep it a secret.”
Rowina remembered the day she had last seen her parents.
She had been five years old. “If you stay quietly, I’ll come back. Rowina.” “You only need to wait about five nights.”
Her parents, who ran a small shop, had been kinder than anyone. And they loved each other more than anyone else—to the point where other people did not matter in the slightest. And that was no exception for Rowina, their only daughter.
Even in her young heart, Rowina had known. That she was always second. “Listen well to the nanny and wait.”
When the shop had prospered and they had become comfortable, her parents departed on their delayed honeymoon. Without looking back even once at Rowina, held in the nanny’s arms.
The parents who left in that manner never returned. They had caught an infectious disease there and passed away after battling the illness. When the news broke, relatives flocked around Rowina, who had become an orphan overnight. As if they had been waiting, they tore her father’s property to pieces and divided it among themselves.
Yet no one tried to take Rowina. “Our circumstances are too poor to take such a young girl.” “You think it’s just your sister’s family? We’re also overwhelmed with a newborn baby right now.” “Still, it’s awkward to send her to an orphanage….”
Rowina still remembered their words as they glanced at her and clicked their tongues. Finally, when the opinion was nearly settled that they should pay some money and leave her with a foster family, a stranger arrived.
He was a young man. “Then I will take Rowina.” “J-Jeremy?”
The adults’ eyes widened in shock at the unexpected appearance. “You… didn’t you leave home as soon as you turned eighteen?” “What have you been doing all this time?” “I am asking out of courtesy; I need no answer.”
The man who replied coldly turned his head toward Rowina, crouched in a corner. “Hello. Rowina.”
Rowina carefully examined the man. Blond hair that resembled her mother’s, and black eyes. He resembled her mother, but looked somewhat warmer. “Who are you…?”
When Rowina blinked and asked, the man bent his knees to match her eye level. “My name is Jeremy Dishiranda. I am your mother’s younger brother.”
Perhaps lacking in eloquence, the man who had fallen briefly silent extended his hand. “I have never raised a child and have no interest in doing so… but I believe I can be your friend and guardian.” “…….” “If it is all right, come with me.”
It seemed as if a halo shone behind his back. Tears came to her eyes at his blunt but kind voice. “Hic…”
As her shoulders shook, large arms wrapped around her back. “We will be able to get along just fine in our own way.”
Instead of answering, Rowina nodded.
In the place she followed him to, she lived for twenty years. A humble two-story house with three rooms, in a remote countryside known only to those who knew of it.
Even when Uncle Jeremy Dish, once a poor aspiring writer, became a famous author and earned large royalties, life was always the same. She was satisfied with days that were neither lacking nor abundant.
Every single thing was a place marked by her own hands. In the front yard, she tended a small vegetable patch and raised two hens and one goat. It was a cozy, peaceful valley.
Then one day, a letter arrived as she came of age. It was a letter from a childhood friend with whom she had once played.
Long time no see. Rowina. Are you doing well?
I have completely settled in the capital. I am spending very happy days.
Do you still dream of becoming a novelist?
If so, please come visit soon. Submit the novel you have written as well, and while waiting for the results, let’s stay together at my house.
At twenty, she had been young and ignorant of the world. And far too innocent.
Believing solely in her friend’s letter, Rowina impulsively boarded a train to the unfamiliar capital. But the heart full of hope and anticipation crumbled the moment she arrived at the house written in the letter.
Sorry. Rowina. I couldn’t help it either. Ask your uncle to pay it back for you instead, since he is a novelist who earns good money.
It had all been a trap.
The childhood friend she had trusted so deeply had betrayed her. Summoning her to the capital had been part of the plan from the beginning.
The friend had disguised herself as “Rowina Pilrone” and left behind massive debt in her name.
Her vision went dark. Though she had the option of returning to the valley and asking her uncle for help, she could not bring herself to do so. Because she had come to the capital against her uncle’s dissuasion, she absolutely could not ask for help.
The moment she grasped the situation, fierce men began chasing her. In the end, she had no choice but to hide for the time being. She hid for several days at a temporary lodging with the money she had brought, but there was a limit.
Fleeing the creditors rushing at her, she was cast out into the street on a cold night with pouring rain.
As she wandered with nowhere to go, a carriage stopped before her. As if by the trick of fate. “Miss Pilrone?” “…”
“Mr. Killian?”
The man she had met on the train.
The moment she realized who it was, shame welled up.
Meeting him while looking like a drowned rat, she felt as though she could die on the spot. With a face burning red, Rowina abruptly dropped her head. She tried to pass by like that, but a large hand seized her arm. “Let, let go. I must go.” “Do you have somewhere to go?”
At the icy question, words failed her. Instead of answering, Rowina clasped her interlaced fingertips. With every exhalation into the frigid air, white breath rose.
The man wordlessly clicked his tongue, took off his coat, and draped it over her shoulders. At the blazing body heat she felt, her whole body tingled. “Follow me.”
A flat, composed voice. That was all, but it felt like a revelation sent from heaven. Just as when she had first laid eyes on Uncle Jeremy.
She followed the man who turned around without hesitation. She followed that pitch-black back as if entranced.
And the result… was the present.
A woman most noble, yet most base.
That she would become his woman was something she had instinctively foreseen from their first meeting. But not in this manner.
If only she had not believed her friend’s letter.
If only she had not followed him that day.
If only she had refused that temptation and met him again with pride.
Perhaps she might have been able to start a more proper relationship with Killian.
Whenever she looked back, Rowina habitually repeated these pointless assumptions. That was why she could not give up on this dream.
Once she earned money as a novelist, she would repay all the debt she owed him.
When they became a relationship with no debts between them, they would be able to have a true relationship.
He was a man who never uttered the words “I love you,” but she knew. Killian loved her. She could tell from the occasional gaze and touch. She had merely been slow to realize it.
Whenever she wanted to give up, Rowina would steel her heart in that way. The reason she had remained by his side for three years, even in dishonor, was partly that she had read love in his eyes, but more than anything, it was because Killian was the first person she had met upon entering the wide world and the one who had reached out his hand when she needed help the most. When she looked at him, her body and heart leaned toward him blindly, like a baby bird freshly hatched seeing its mother.
“…which is how I ended up submitting it.”
The story of her past, excluding the parts involving the Count, had come to an end. Melissa, who had been hanging on Rowina’s every word, had tears in her eyes.
“Goodness. To think you had such a history……”
At that pure and honest reaction, Rowina quietly gazed at her.
Melissa was a considerate and thoughtful girl. Though in front of her she could not even raise her head due to the Count family’s authority, unlike other servants who secretly pointed fingers behind her back, she was different. Whenever she saw her like that, Rowina was reminded of herself before coming to the capital. If she had not fallen into her friend’s trap, if she had not met Killian, perhaps she too would have remained like Melissa.
“But why the men’s clothes….”
“Just in case. I might run into someone I know.”
Her thoughts interrupted for a moment, Rowina awkwardly answered the cautious question and urged again.
“It is our secret.”
Melissa nodded with a determined face.
“Understood, Miss.”