Episode 25
“That room is the Duchess’s chamber.”
“Well. No one uses it now, do they? Even my former wife never used it.”
It was Rowina, standing behind him, who grew uncomfortable as if sitting on a cushion of thorns at his insistence. He hadn’t laid a hand on her otherwise during the entire journey to Rockford, but at night, he was a man who would pull her into his arms from behind and sleep embracing her as if she were a pillow.
If the room right next to his was given to her, that bizarre sleeping habit might continue. Moreover, if it were the room next door, it would become difficult to see Damian.
Rowina, who had barely relaxed her stiff expression, quietly interjected.
“I prefer the room I originally used, Your Grace.”
Rowina’s opinion was lightly dismissed. Despite her firm refusal, Killian stubbornly pushed his own idea.
As a result, she was given a bedroom more than twice as large as the one she had used before. It was the only room from which one could come and go into the Duke’s bedroom through a single door without using the hallway.
Before, he had prevented her from even coveting such a thing no matter how much she desired it, yet now he forced it upon her when she didn’t want it—a behavior whose meaning she dared not guess.
At his subsequent caprice, Rowina gave up trying to understand the man named Killian Devonshire entirely.
She was assigned not only a luxurious room but also a new maid.
“Hello, Miss Philone. My name is Joan Jude. Please feel free to call me Jo, or Joan.”
She was a bright-faced girl reminiscent of Melissa from five years ago. Rowina nodded to Joan, who had finished her introduction politely.
“I look forward to working with you, Joan.”
“I’ll brush your hair.”
After washing and changing into pajamas, her whole body felt as heavy as waterlogged cotton. Rowina nodded and sat down heavily in the chair at the dressing table.
Swish, swish—the only sounds echoing in the bedroom were that of an ivory comb running through fine blonde hair and the crackling firewood at the foot of the bed.
Rowina glanced at the clock on the dressing table. It was a small mercy that she would not have to sleep in the same bed as the Duke tonight. It was because stacks of documents requiring his review had piled up for him, who had returned to the castle after a long time.
Rowina knew his temperament well—once he took a task in hand, he would not let go until he finished it perfectly. It was a fortunate thing. She had promised to take advantage of the gap in this night to have Jenok secretly take her to Damian’s room.
There was still about an hour left until the appointed time.
The employees of House Devonshire would not dare speak first until the master they served opened his mouth. Rowina, finding the long silence awkward, slowly opened her mouth.
“Where is your hometown, Joan?”
“Ah. It’s Reude. You probably haven’t heard of it.”
Reude. At the somehow familiar word, Rowina’s eyes widened. It was a name she had heard, though she had never been there. It was the name of the hometown that Melissa had once told her about.
“Do you happen to know Melissa? A girl who worked here.”
A girl who had taken pride in working at the Duke’s household. That she had been cast away and left without even being able to say goodbye remained as a faint sense of guilt in one corner of her heart.
“Well……”
Joan tilted her head while busily moving her hands. Rowina continued her explanation enthusiastically.
“Brown hair, brown eyes, and freckles. Talkative, and her age… she must be just over twenty now.”
“Ah.”
Joan, who had been tracing her memory for a while, soon nodded vigorously.
“I know her. She returned to her hometown before I came here.”
“You know her. How is she? Is she doing well?”
Rowina brightened at the welcome answer and asked as if prying. Joan was slightly surprised to see color return to her previously lifeless face, as if her soul had fled, and nodded again.
“Yes, of course. Now she helps her parents with farming and has a fiancé. I heard she received a generous severance from here when she left.”
“I see. That’s a relief… Five years ago, Melissa took care of me. If you ever have occasion to write, please send her my regards.”
“Yes, I will.”
“And, if by any chance……”
Rowina, hesitating for a moment at the obedient reply, made a request.
“If a letter comes from someone named Harriet Dickinson, please bring it to me right away. She is a close friend of mine.”
What she had asked Harriet was to deliver a letter to her uncle, Jeremy Dish. In the letter, she had briefly written about what had happened over the past eight years since leaving her hometown. Until she received a response and could escape this place with her uncle’s help, listening to Jenok was the best situation.
“Understood.”
Joan accepted it without much fuss and smiled.
After Joan withdrew, Jenok came to the bedroom. He held out a dark robe.
“Standing out won’t do you any good.”
It was heartbreaking that a mother had to avoid others’ eyes to see her son.
“Has anyone else seen Damian?”
“No. Aside from the wet nurses who have been sworn to secrecy, he has kept his hat pulled low, so no one has seen his face.”
The two put on their robes as they were, crossed the quiet corridor, descended several flights of stairs, and arrived at Damian’s room. Carefully opening the door and entering, they saw her son sleeping in the bed. The wet nurse who had just been covering him with a blanket reported.
“He has just fallen asleep.”
“Well done. You may leave.”
Only after Jenok sent the wet nurse away did Rowina stroke Damian’s cheek with trembling hands.
He was her son whom she had only been able to see for very brief moments since coming here. Dried tear tracks remained on his cheeks.
Rowina kissed her son’s forehead with an affectionate touch and brushed back his hair. Jenok, who had been watching that sight from afar, carefully opened his mouth.
“I have been traveling back and forth to the capital and do not know the full circumstances, but the Duke did not have any children during his previous marriage.”
“……”
“If the young master is recognized as his biological child… it would not be unreasonable for him to become the successor later.”
He had intended it as comfort. He meant that if she endured a little longer, better days would come. But the reaction was cold.
Rowina, stroking her son’s head with sorrowful eyes, abruptly asked.
“If he is recognized as the successor, then what?”
“……”
“Will he grow up to be like the Duke?”
Though it was a quiet question, the meaning was clear. Rowina did not want her son to grow into a cruel man who trampled on and disregarded people’s hearts without a care.
Even if he grew up somewhat poor in lacking circumstances, she hoped he would grow up upright and bright, at least as he was now.
“Miss Philone.”
Jenok opened his mouth again, staring at the back of her head with a frustrated expression.
“Every child in the world has the right to know who their biological father is. The Duke is the same. He has the right to know of his biological son’s existence. Whether he has the qualifications or not.”
It was a blunt remark that struck heavily at her chest. Rowina did not answer. In the silence, Jenok finished speaking.
“Please bring up stories about the young master little by little. When His Grace no longer shuns the child, then is the time to reveal it.”
I have no intention of doing so. Before that, I will escape from this place. Rowina swallowed the words that had surged up to her throat, and instead of answering, filled her eyes with only the child’s face.
* * *
Despite Jenok’s request, Killian, who had brought the mother and child to the castle, left the castle without a word at dawn the next day. It was to personally inspect and handle the accumulated matters regarding the territory’s tax issues and overall castle management that had been delayed during that time.
While Rowina barely caught her breath in this grace period that was not truly a grace period, gifts arrived in her bedroom daily. It was the aftermath of rumors about Rowina Philone, who had been brought back after the divorce, gradually spreading.
The same nobles who five years ago had pointed fingers at her from behind, calling her a dirty woman, now sent cards along with gifts.
Shoes and footwear that one could not obtain even by paying a fortune without considerable connections. The latest dresses from a famous atelier and dazzling jewels.
They seemed to think that even if she could not take the Duchess’s seat, she would later become a major power in House Devonshire.
Each time she saw these bribes to win favor, Rowina swallowed a bitter smile. They were more foolish than she thought. She was in a position to be discarded once he grew tired of her again anyway.
Rowina turned away from the thickly piled invitations and the gifts neatly stacked in her dressing room.
“Send them all back as they are.”
“Yes? But……”
“Do not touch them. All of them.”
Joan looked at her with eyes that said she could not understand, but only for a moment.
It was a day when her waiting continued for the fourth day without any word of when he would come.
Thanks to that, she had been able to see her son every night, but just as anxiety settled in one corner of Rowina’s heart, Damian abruptly spoke.
“Mom! I want to go to the lake.”
At the sudden request, Rowina blinked.
“The lake?”
“Yeah. I want to go down and see it directly. Not just looking out the window.”
Killian did not restrict her range of movement within the castle, but the eyes of those within the castle always followed her.
Because Damian’s appearance resembled his so much, Rowina avoided going out as much as possible to evade any attention that might fall upon her son. However, she was in a better position than Damian, who could barely leave his bedroom.
He could have toys and food as he wished, but Damian, the child of a mistress, was not free. While staying here, she had kept the child confined and stifled by telling him he had to behave quietly.
“Can we not… can we not go?”
Rowina gave a faint smile toward Damian, who hesitated and watched her reaction.
“No. It should be fine for a short while. If we ask Uncle Jenok……”
“No. I want to go with just Mom.”
Rowina, who had gotten up to call Jenok standing outside the door, stopped dead at her son’s urgent words.
“It’s been a long time since we went for a walk together, just the two of us. Without Uncle knowing. Right?”
Damian’s eyes welled up as he clung to her hem. Rowina closed her eyes briefly, then opened them and nodded.
“Alright. Then Mom will come back when the sun rises later.”
“Without anyone knowing?”
“Yes. Without anyone knowing.”