It had been three years. A full three years.
Though it had been a twisted relationship born of an unbearable debt, much had happened during that time. Sad things, infuriating things, happy things. She had secretly harbored hope in his gradually changing gaze. It had been enough time for that.
It was an earth-shattering betrayal. Who had been the man who kissed her head so tenderly and slipped a ring onto her finger?
Her head screamed at her to leave calmly, but her heart still could not accept reality, struggling desperately to somehow remain by his side.
The fierce conflict made her head spin. Her stomach churned and her legs trembled.
As Roweena steadied herself against the wall, catching her breath, a large hand nimbly snatched the arm of the woman who was about to sink down.
“Leaving? To where?”
“A-anywhere. Let go of me!”
Roweena thrashed the moment his skin touched hers, pushing away the approaching Killian. Tears streamed down her bloodless cheeks. Killian wiped away the tears gathered on her chin with his index finger and furrowed his brow.
“Don’t cry. It’s grating on my ears.”
“Let go of me!”
At a grip strong enough to leave handprints, Roweena let out a sharp scream. Without a care, Killian held her arm tightly and dragged her to the bed. Roweena, who had lost her reason, shuddered and resisted.
“No! You demon! Monster!”
“Call me whatever you want.”
Her vision swayed, and then soft bedding touched her back.
Killian trapped the body that had been struggling fiercely to escape beneath his own. No matter how much she screamed or cried for help, not a single person would come. He had warned everyone not to approach.
He focused solely on the woman beneath him.
A woman who whispered of a peerless love to his face, yet climbed into another man’s bed behind his back.
He knew everything about his mistress.
A poisonous woman with the face of an angel.
That was why he could not understand Roweena’s current reaction; rather, he was furious. The face that had trembled with shock and betrayal at the harbor was etched into his retina, refusing to fade all this time.
The woman trying to break free and the man who would not let go.
The suffocating confrontation ended after a long while. Roweena, who had struggled for some time, exhausted her strength and went limp. Feeling the cold tears trickling from the corners of her eyes, she asked deliberately.
“Why… did you give me a ring a fortnight ago? Why did you act as if we would marry? When you were going to throw me away like this.”
“I never promised you anything. I merely gave you a gift as I always do.”
“Wh… what did you say?”
“Why do you look so shocked?”
Killian repeated himself and reached out to brush away the blonde hair clinging to her cheek.
“Surely you didn’t expect that it was all a joke, or that I might say I love you?”
The moment the words left his mouth, her cheek flared as if on fire. Killian twisted his lips at her heaving face.
He picked up the necktie carelessly thrown onto the bed and gathered her wrists together, binding them.
“Untie this right now!”
Roweena thrashed with both hands bound at once. Killian subdued her lightly and reached out to brush her flushed cheek with the back of his hand. Though her face was feverish, his cold skin felt like electricity when it touched her.
Roweena glared at the man straddling her with heavily wet eyes. Even in this situation, her conditioned body responded faithfully. Shame and self-loathing flooded in.
“Roweena.”
Killian wedged his knee between her struggling legs and whispered her name. He brushed her tangled, wet eyelashes with his index finger and grasped her chin, which was turning away from him, forcing her to face him.
“In a fortnight.”
“….”
“My wedding.”
It was a sacred marriage arranged by the queen.
Originally, it was to be held at the grand cathedral permitted only to royalty, welcoming high nobles and foreign delegates, but as it was a union with a fixed duration, they agreed to hold it secretly and simply.
Chloe Everdine, who would become his wife, was a good partner in many respects. She held no romantic notions of a grand wedding, which any woman would dream of, and she would never do anything to cloud his heart or make him lose his reason.
On the other hand, Roweena Philone was a woman unsuitable in every regard except as a mistress.
A family background with nothing to boast of. A shameful past. Duplicity that showed one face to the world and another behind its back.
Worst of all was that he was swayed despite knowing these facts. He should have strangled her to death and buried her in the sea right this instant, yet he could not. The woman beneath him would never know just how much patience and mercy he was showing her.
“…Demon.”
A cold voice pierced through his head, steeped in thought.
“Monster. Cold-blooded man. A bastard without blood or tears.”
Roweena spat out each syllable as if chewing them, interrogating him with the desperation of one vomiting blood.
“You knew how I felt.”
“….”
“I was always sincere. You….”
Though she had sometimes felt like a toy rather than a human being, she had covered her eyes and stopped her ears at the occasional tenderness he showed.
Her tears had already dried, and her voice was hoarse like the sound of scraping metal.
“I… loved you.”
A frigid silence fell. There were only the two of them in the world. The two were submerged in each other’s worlds. Yet that world held nothing. Nothing but rough breathing and gazes glaring at one another.
“Then prove it.”
A calm voice split the silence. Before she could understand what he meant and blink, neat fingertips unfastened the buttons of Roweena’s collar one by one.
“Wh-what are you….”
Roweena belatedly grasped the situation and grabbed the back of his hand, where veins bulged.
“D-don’t do this.”
“Didn’t you say you loved me?”
Her mind went as blank as a sheet of white paper. As Roweena shook her head, his cool forehead pressed against hers.
“If you truly hate it, refuse me midway. Then I will stop.”
* * *
When she opened her eyes again, what greeted her was a white envelope. As though paying for all her efforts, Killian had left only money and walked out of the bedroom without a shred of attachment.
Roweena was filled with self-loathing for herself, who had trembled with increasing rapture. She left the money exactly where it was. Carrying only the travel bag she had packed beforehand yesterday, Roweena abruptly left the villa.
Pulling her hood down low, she left the villa in the early dawn and boarded a ship. Standing on the deck, she gazed at the sea shrouded in mist with empty eyes.
It was as she took one precarious step, then another.
“Mommy!”
A voice was heard from somewhere. Surprised, she turned around to see a child. A woman who appeared to be the child’s mother embraced the child.
As Roweena watched the affectionate mother and child, a sudden possibility flashed through her mind like lightning.
Her monthly. Hadn’t it stopped since last month?
Could it be. Perhaps.
Instinctively, her hand went to her lower abdomen.
Whether it was a trick of fate, the foreboding suspicion she had dared not hope was correct.
She was pregnant. She had to protect the child. If it was discovered to be his, it would be taken from her.
Roweena changed her name and settled in a city where she had no connections. Around the time news that the sacredly married Killian Devonshire and Chloe Everdine were moving abroad filled every newspaper, Roweena gave birth.
To a son who looked exactly like the man she both loved and cursed.
* * *
Creaking stairs sounded, and footsteps drew closer. Hoping against hope that it was not who she feared, Roweena held the son in her arms tightly.
“Rebecca!”
The moment she heard the annoyed voice, she thought that what was bound to come had finally arrived. Roweena quickly got up from the bed with the whimpering Damian.
“…Ma’am.”
“So you finally open the door.”
“I’m sorry. The baby was sleeping….”
“That’s none of my concern.”
When she opened the door, a middle-aged woman with a stern expression stood there. It was Rose, the landlady.
Rose clicked her tongue as she looked Roweena up and down, who had just woken up and was in disarray.
“The sun is up. How can you lie around like that? You have to earn money, don’t you?”
At the flying criticism, Roweena lowered her eyes instead of answering.
Even though the sun had risen, outside it was still a dawn filled with dim light. At this hour, only chimney sweeps or newspaper deliverymen went out to work.
Moreover, she had worked at the sewing factory until late last evening. Her whole body was heavy like water-soaked cotton. Her eyelids kept closing from fatigue.
“Rebecca!”
Rose called sharply to Roweena, who was about to fall asleep standing up instead of answering, and raised the corners of her eyes.
“Your rent is overdue. How far am I supposed to let this go? Do you want to be thrown out on the streets in this cold with a baby?”
Baby. At that single word, her mind snapped awake as if someone had poured cold water over her head.
Roweena grasped the rough hand and immediately bowed her head deeply.
“I-I’m sorry, ma’am. My wages were delayed. I received some yesterday… please, just a moment.”
She had absolutely no intention of cheating her. She simply hadn’t imagined Rose would come charging in like a dawn wind.
Roweena rubbed her face roughly with her hand and turned around, rummaging through the pocket of her frayed coat. A thin white envelope came out in her hand.
“This is all I have for now. I’ll give you the rest as soon as I receive it. I’m always sorry….”
Roweena bowed her head repeatedly and held out the money. Rose clicked her tongue, opened the mouth of the envelope, quickly counted the sum, and tucked it into her bosom.