113. On a morning thick with mist, Cedric and Damian waved from afar.
“Mom!”
“Damian!”
When she called his name, Damian smiled brightly and urged her to get down from the saddle. And as soon as Cedric set him down, he ran toward Rowena.
Rowena, who had been waiting for Damian at the mansion’s entrance, gently touched her son’s forehead, cheeks, and nose in turn.
“Did you sleep well?”
“Yeah!”
“How was sleeping in the cabin?”
“It was fun!”
Damian answered spiritedly; he was no longer the sickly son from the days when the two of them had lived together. Smiling briefly with a wistful look at how much he had grown, Rowena stroked his black hair.
“Alright. Hurry up and wash, then change your clothes.”
The moment Damian nodded, a maid waiting behind led him to the bathtub.
Only when the two of them were left alone did Cedric, who had been watching the mother and child with satisfaction, speak up.
“Is the writing going well?”
“Yes. Up to the middle part, at least.”
The awkwardness from before seemed to have washed away as Rowena replied naturally.
“Thank you for playing with Damian.”
“Not at all. I happened to have free time, and I was playing too, so.”
Cedric smiled and subtly continued.
“I was thinking how nice it would be to have a son like Damian.”
“…….”
“Ah, it was just something I said.”
Cedric added hastily at Rowena’s silence and finished speaking.
“I’ll wait.”
It was a small voice, as if whispering, but it was heard clearly. The second time she heard those words. Rowena did not answer. It was certainly not easy raising a child alone. As Damian grew more and more, the empty space in the role of a father might grow larger. Yet accepting Cedric was a complicated feeling.
In the continued silence, Cedric gauged Rowena’s expression. But she had lowered her head, and her blonde hair covered her face, so he couldn’t see it. Without realizing it, as Cedric reached out his hand, a low voice echoed in his mind for a moment.
—Let me see the two of them, even from afar.
—…….
—I’m not asking for much. A few days will be enough.
A calm yet desperate request—to the point that he simply couldn’t refuse outright. When he recalled it, a faint sense of guilt welled up within him. He withdrew his outstretched hand.
“I understand. That’s my specialty, after all.”
In the dark evening, the hand that had stroked his son’s face as if engraving it into memory was seared into his eyes. A touch careful and affectionate, as if handling a precious treasure one could not even dare to wish for. Even in the darkness, he could tell what expression that man had worn. That was why he could not touch her now.
* * *
Damian, having finished his bath and changed into comfortable clothes, only woke up with a refreshed face after taking a nap. The first place he headed after getting out of bed was none other than the study.
“Mom. Are you working?”
Rowena, who turned around at the knocking sound, stopped writing the manuscript she had been working on.
“I’m about to rest now. Come in.”
At the granted permission, Damian opened the door and scurried into Rowena’s arms.
“Mom.”
“Hmm?”
“I had a strange dream yesterday?”
“What kind of dream?”
The tender atmosphere froze at the following answer.
“Dad was in it.”
“…….”
“Weird, right?”
“……It’s weird. How did he appear?”
The end of her words trembled. Her heart pounded so hard it hurt. Rowena swallowed dryly and waited for her son’s answer.
“While I was sleeping, someone was stroking my head. I tried to open my eyes, but Dad covered them so I couldn’t.”
“So……?”
“He didn’t say much. He just asked if we couldn’t see each other again.”
“And then?”
“He didn’t say anything.”
The hope she had dared to harbor crumbled quickly. Rowena relaxed her shoulders and hugged Damian.
“You must have missed Dad so much.”
“Yeah. But it really felt real.”
“Didn’t he say anything else?”
“He asked if he would protect us.”
“And?”
“He said he would.”
It was a strange coincidence. It was the first time Damian had said he dreamed of Killian, and it just so happened to be when he was sleeping outside.
And the person who had taken Damian to the cabin was Cedric. An absurd suspicion sprouted in Rowena’s mind. The more she thought about it, the more far-fetched it seemed, yet somehow a certain possibility kept whispering from deep within her heart.
“Ah!”
The sun had set, and she was on her way to his room to talk with Cedric. Rowena, walking with quick steps, collided with a maid in the hallway.
“I’m sorry.”
“No. I wasn’t looking ahead.”
Rowena shook her head and noticed the cleaning supplies in the maid’s hands.
“Are you perhaps coming from cleaning Mr. Cedric’s room?”
“Yes. That’s right.”
“Then he’s not in his room.”
“If it’s the young master, he’s probably in the madam’s room. At this hour, he goes to give her shoulder and leg massages.”
“Ah. Thank you.”
Rowena smiled and turned her steps toward Lauren’s room.
“Excuse me……”
She was about to knock, but the door was open. Lauren’s voice could be heard through the gap in the open door.
“So you mean you granted the Duke’s request?”
“I simply couldn’t refuse.”
“As expected of my youngest brother, your heart is soft.”
Request? Rowena, who had been about to knock, froze in place. She saw Lauren sigh and pat Cedric’s hand, which was massaging her shoulder.
“I told you before, but you already know the answer. Do as your heart leads you.”
“……Yes.”
Cedric answered heavily. Rowena placed her trembling hand on her left chest. It was the moment the fragile possibility she had dared to hope for gradually took on substance.
At Cedric’s shadowed face, Lauren had him sit in front of her.
“It seems that’s not all that’s troubling you. Right?”
“……Actually. It was a bit strange.”
“What was?”
“Last time I saw the mansion, the curtains were all drawn so darkly that you couldn’t see the surroundings clearly. There were hardly any employees either.”
Rowena pressed her ear to the door gap. Her palms were sweating, and she could feel her heart thumping.
“As if…….”
Just as Cedric was carefully trying to continue, Lauren, sensing a presence belatedly, turned her head toward the door.
“Is someone there?”
“The door was open.”
Following Lauren’s gaze, Cedric rose from his seat and approached the door. And opened it wide.
“There’s no one here.”
“……Really? I must be overly sensitive.”
* * *
Damian rubbed his sleepy eyes at the hand shaking him awake.
“Mmm…… Mom?”
“Sorry for waking you. Damian. I have a favor to ask.”
“What is it?”
“Do you remember where the cabin you slept in yesterday was?”
“Yeah…….”
“Can you go there with me again?”
The hand gripping his shoulder felt desperate. Facing her anxious expression, Damian nodded vaguely.
“Let’s go together now.”
“Now……?”
Before he could even fully wake, Damian changed into the riding clothes his mother put on him and threw on an outer coat.
The place they went to was the stable. At the sudden visit, the groom who had been sleeping in a pile of straw got up and busily moved about. When he placed the saddle on the horse’s back, Rowena received help to seat Damian first, then sat behind him.
“It’s still late at night, and it will surely be difficult with the young master aboard too. Shall I accompany you, madam?”
“No. Thank you, but I’m fine.”
Rowena refused firmly and kicked the horse’s side, and the restless horse set off at once.
Holding the reins, Rowena galloped the horse steadily toward the dark forest path. Though she must not have ridden much, she was skilled like an expert.
At her unwavering posture, Damian looked up at his mother with surprised eyes for a moment.
“Mom, have you ridden a lot?”
“No. Just a few times.”
“Then how are you so good?”
“It’s because I’ve watched you ride so much.”
Rowena answered nonchalantly and increased the speed. On the swaying saddle, Damian suddenly recalled Lauren’s words.
—Do you know what’s great about your mom?
—What is it?
—Curiosity, focus, powers of observation.
Lauren folded three fingers and smiled.
—Your mom has an innate talent. She would have succeeded even if she had studied. Though she doesn’t seem to realize it herself.
“Damian. Which way should we go?”
The recollection was broken by Rowena’s voice. Rowena stopped at the stream and waited for Damian’s answer.
“Ah, to the right.”
Passing through the dense trees, the horse that had been galloping for a while gradually slowed at the force of pulling the reins backward.
“Over there!”
The place Damian pointed to was a cabin nestled quietly in the mountains. Faint smoke was rising from the chimney.
“Is someone there?”
Damian tilted his head and looked up at Rowena with a face that said he wanted to get down. Rowena, who had already dismounted, lifted Damian down in her arms.
“Wait here for a moment.”
“I want to go with you.”
“It will only be a moment.”
She had to check who it was. If it was truly, by any chance, that person—if it was that man. Rowena clenched and unclenched her fist, then slowly moved her steps.
She took a deep breath and turned the doorknob. The door opened without a sound. Someone was lying on the couch. Even their breathing could be heard loudly. Covering her mouth with both hands, she slowly approached and pulled down the blanket.
In the next moment, her heart plunged.
“……Killian.”
She couldn’t have seen wrong. Features too vivid to deny were etched onto her retina. The premonition she had dared to hope for matched, and it felt as if all the blood were draining from her body. It was then, as she stepped back with her mouth still covered. At the creaking sound of the wooden floor, Killian, who had been sleeping soundly, opened his eyes. Frozen and at a loss, just as Rowena was about to open her mouth to say something.
“Who is it?”
Killian squinted his eyes and pressed. Rowena doubted her ears. It was a question that absolutely could not come out. At a distance where he could reach out and touch, and with their eyes meeting, at that.