Episode 102
“Mom?”
It was a faint sound she would have missed had she not been listening intently. Yet Rowina had heard that frail voice clearly.
“Is it really Mom……?”
A wavering, tear-filled voice. The moment she whirled around, she froze on the spot. Damian, who had just come down the stairs, stood before her eyes—neither dead, nor injured, nor in pain.
“Da, Damian…….”
“Mom!”
Even if this were a dream, she would be glad never to wake. Rowina, covering her mouth with both hands, lost strength in her legs and crumpled to the floor. Startled, Damian approached and reached out his hand.
“Mom, are you okay?”
“Damian……!”
This face, this voice, this appearance—they unmistakably belonged to Damian, her one and only son. Reaching out, Rowina pulled her son into her arms, embracing his neck. Damian, who had likewise sunk to the ground in the commotion, awkwardly patted his mother’s back.
“Mom, are you alright?”
“H-hic…….”
His body was much thinner than when she had last seen him, trembling finely. Though he tried to look at her face at the sound of her weeping, the hands wrapped around his shoulders bound Damian fast.
“Damian…… Damian…….”
At that aimlessly trembling voice, Damian too, choked with emotion, burst into tears.
“Mom……!”
The process of obtaining Mrs. Lauren’s medicine had been fun and enjoyable. The ordeal had begun the very moment he returned here without knowing why.
He had ended up following some people and getting trapped somewhere. Just when he thought he could no longer endure being unable to go outside, he had barely gotten to see his mother, only to be separated from Cedric hyung again. All of those circumstances had been confusing and, at the same time, frightening.
What approached Damian, who was sniffling in utter helplessness, was none other than a certain man.—Damian.—……
Mister?
Relief washed over him alongside joy. Held tightly in a familiar embrace, Damian burst straight into tears.
So what he had seen last time wasn’t an illusion after all. It hadn’t been a dream in his sleep. He had wanted to know what was going on. But Cedric hyung had only told him that it was an emergency situation.—Hng…… I, I was scared…….
The words came out intermittently. Half-buried in sobs, his mumbling was patiently listened to by Killian, who wiped away his son’s tears.—We’re going to go see Mom from now on.—See Mom? Really?—Yes.
It was a sudden statement, yet not a shred of doubt arose. From their very first meeting, he had always been the one who saved him. Perhaps because of their remarkably similar faces, Damian had felt strangely drawn to him from the start and had often thought of him.—Mom…….
The moment her face came to mind, the longing he had briefly suppressed flooded in like a tidal wave. Before he could become a sea of tears once again, Killian, who had folded his knees to meet Damian eye-to-eye, spoke.—This is troublesome. I came to see if you could meet her bravely.—Bravely……?
Sniffling, Damian hiccupped as he met those blue eyes. At that appearance reminiscent of someone else, Killian smiled deeply and used his index finger to wipe the tears flowing down the soft cheek.—Your mom is a crybaby. If she’s already going to cry buckets, what’ll happen if you cry too?
It was a clumsy but gentle voice. Hiccupping, Damian stared blankly at Killian. Thinking it over carefully, it was true. His mom was a person with many tears, and when he cried, she cried even more.—Damian.
Having wiped away every last tearstain on his son’s face with his own hand, Killian asked as if confirming.—Can you show Mom how much more dependable you’ve grown while she hasn’t seen you?—Yes……!
Damian answered bravely and nodded his head. Once he had calmed somewhat, a face he had momentarily forgotten came to mind.—But what about Cedric hyung?
A brief silence fell. While Damian tilted his head at the quiet response, an indifferent answer returned.—You’ll meet him again soon.
That was the end of it. By the time he had washed up, changed clothes, and fallen asleep, he was sent off somewhere. When he woke, it was an unfamiliar house. He had opened the door and stepped out when he heard a voice he had missed, just as he was coming downstairs.
Recalling the promise he had made with Killian at the sight of his mother crying like a child, Damian stopped his tears first.
“Mom, did you miss me that much?”
“Hng…… y-yeah…….”
“I missed you too. Sorry for coming later than you thought, Mom.”
“No…… no.”
She was simply grateful that he had returned alive, and had nothing more to wish for. Rowina, pressing kisses in turn on her son’s forehead, nose, and both cheeks, thanked God as she held his small body tightly.
The tearful reunion was brief, and Damian soon fell asleep with a bright smile as he talked about this and that with Rowina.
Killian, who had been watching the affectionate mother and child from the side, remained silent the whole time.
Only after carrying the sleeping Damian to the bedroom on that floor did Rowina, who had been enduring his heavy gaze, turn toward him.
“Explain what happened.”
Asking with a composed expression as if she had never been wailing, Killian slowly opened his mouth.
Rowina listened to his story without a word until the very end.
“So you kept it secret…… even from me?”
“To you…….”
Slap.
The moment he tried to speak, his cheek blazed. Killian, his head turned, touched his reddened cheek.
“Was it fun?”
“Rowina.”
“I was falling apart and going mad—how could you keep it a secret!”
Her anger surged to the tip of her chin, to the point of suffocation. As Rowina began showing symptoms of hyperventilating again, Killian placed his hand on her shoulder.
“Calm down.”
“Get that hand off me!”
Vehemently shaking off his hand, Rowina covered her face with both hands.
“Just how much I…….”
It had been hell. Being alive had felt like a sin, and even breathing had felt like something to apologize for—existence itself had been hell.
Her head understood Killian’s actions, yet her heart could never forgive them. A large hand firmly pulled the trembling Rowina into an embrace.
“Let go of……!”
“Rowina.”
As she tried to push him away with all her might once more, the hot breath that swept against her ear rendered her entire body immobile.
“Rowina…….”
A desperate voice like that of someone clinging on. It was a wretched voice. Killian held the frozen Rowina even tighter and buried his face in her shoulder.
“This is the last time.”
“…….”
“I won’t appear before you again. So.”
Please endure just this once. The swallowed latter half was heard clearly even without being uttered.
At the plaintive voice, last night suddenly surfaced in Rowina’s mind. After kneeling and examining her foot, the hand that had loosened his own collar and placed both her hands around his neck. The hand that had embraced her convulsing, violently weeping body through the night, patting her back until dawn.
Gradually calming, Rowina stopped her tears.
For the first time in her life, she found him pitiful. He was clearly the man who had twisted her life and cruelly abandoned her. He was an exceedingly arrogant and selfish man, yet she felt pity and heartache for him. As though she were looking at a young boy on the verge of being abandoned. She could not understand herself for being this way, yet this feeling and emotion were sincere.
“……Rowina.”
Her arm rose on its own. As she placed her hand atop the black hair, patting it as she would a child, Killian tried to lift his head, seeming startled. Pressing his head down firmly, Rowina silently stroked his fine-textured hair. It was the exact same texture as her son’s.
Startled, Killian remained frozen in place, accepting her touch. Only after a long while did Rowina’s lips move.
“Killian.”
“…….”
Killian, who had been relishing Rowina’s touch as though starving for it, raised his head to look down at her. Rowina stared directly back at him.
Eyes without a trace of moisture; an impression still cold and ruthless. He revealed a different side only where she could not see.
Cupping his sharp jaw, Rowina impulsively pressed a brief kiss to his red lips. The moment she realized her action and tried to bite her lip, a hand gripping the back of her head pulled her lips back toward his.
“Ah!”
When his tongue licked her lower lip as if tickling it, her lips opened instinctively, and as if he had been waiting, his tongue entered without hesitation. With no room to retreat, his tongue entwined with hers as if conquering, thoroughly sweeping across the roof of her mouth and even between her teeth.
“Mmn…….”
It was a kiss so fierce that she grew short of breath. The hand that had been pushing against his shoulder gradually lost strength and instead grasped his arm.
“Ha…….”
Only after a long while did their lips part, trailing a long silver strand. Rowina exhaled a deep, ragged breath and wiped her lips, her face flushed bright red.
“It was an impulse. It means nothing.”
As he often did, Killian cupped Rowina’s cheek with inscrutable eyes and swallowed a bitter smile.
“If you say so.”
Though he had been the fierce one, she had been the one who started it. Feeling somehow awkward, as if she were the one who had been toyed with, Rowina averted her gaze from him and changed the subject.
“Where is Mr. Cedric?”
The moment she asked, the atmosphere froze over in an instant. She realized at the same time he did that it was a cruel question.
“Surely you didn’t…… do something to him.”
“Tomorrow at dawn.”
“…….”
She closed her mouth with a shadowed face, but only for a moment. Just as the look in Rowina’s eyes began to turn fierce, Killian opened his mouth heavily.
“I’ve secured a total of four passage tickets bound for Athelwood. Stay there for the time being. He’ll join you midway. It’s safe this time, so you can rest easy.” Four. For her and Damian, and Cedric. And the last of the four had been Lauren’s ticket. Silently accepting the tickets, Rowina asked nonchalantly,
“What about the man who targeted Damian and Cedric?”
“I’ve caught his tail, so I’ll capture him soon.”
“……What about you?”
At the hesitant question, the corners of Killian’s lips rose. It was a faint smile like mist.
“I’ll return soon too, once I finish the matter.”
“……Is that so.”
Nodding slowly, Rowina pulled free from his embrace.
“Since you said dawn, I should go get some sleep now.”
Just as she was about to turn around, Rowina suddenly stopped dead in her tracks.
“Is there nothing else you have to say?”
A silence like an eternity descended once more. She wanted to turn back, yet for some reason she could not turn around. After a slight interval, a low answer returned.
“I hope you and Damian live happily.”
“…….”
“By the side of someone you love.”
Love. It was a trite and clichéd word. At least to him. Never expecting to hear such a word from the mouth of a man named Killian Devonshire, Rowina gripped the stair railing briefly before rushing upstairs as if to escape.