Episode 100
“This way, Your Highness.”
It was inside a small hotel where an entire floor had been rented out. Following Jenok’s guidance, Killian pushed open the door to find a tense-faced man waiting for him.
When Killian’s eyes met Cedric’s, who was holding a chair, and he looked at him indifferently, Cedric, embarrassed, slowly lowered what he was holding.
“Just in case.”
Instead of answering, Killian brushed past him and sat on the couch before the fireplace, barred with iron grating, crossing his long legs. Cedric sat across from him and got straight to the point.
“I suppose I should thank you first.”
“For what?”
“For saving my life.”
“I didn’t think you’d misunderstand.”
Killian frowned and added,
“No thanks are necessary. You merely happened to be beside my son.”
“……
So you knew.”
“How could I not?”
At that firm answer, silence fell for a moment. Cedric glanced back at the door.
“By the way, where is Rowena?”
At the way that mouth so casually formed the name of his woman, Killian clenched his fist.
“I came here because I was told she would be coming. Damian too.”
“You keep speaking as if she belongs to you.”
“You can’t possibly be unaware that I married her.”
Perhaps reassured by the fact that Killian had spared him until now, or perhaps he had simply never been afraid to begin with, his attitude was as unhesitating as it had been at their first meeting. For a moment, Killian nearly let himself be swayed, but he calmed his heart and replied coolly.
“How amusing. Not even three months after your marriage, you appeared in the obituary section of the newspaper and were provisionally reported dead. That makes the marriage void.”
It was a system created after the war to prevent war widows from being left in limbo. Cedric looked surprised that Killian knew of a law enacted long ago.
“Let’s put that discussion aside for now and hear about the person who targeted us.”
He had hidden his identity as thoroughly as if swaddling himself and taken a carriage to another safe house because he was told he was going to meet Rowena. But what awaited him the moment he arrived was an empty, spacious guest room. Damian had been led by Jenok into the room next door, and by now he was likely washed and asleep.
It was urgent that he see her and reassure her, but for now, it came first to hear about the person who had targeted Damian and him.
As if reading his mind, Killian answered readily.
“There is a high chance it’s one of the lackeys of a former close aide I once drove out.”
“So you’ve identified the culprit. Then you’ll catch him soon.”
Cedric’s eyes brightened at the hopeful news. Killian shook his head.
“He’s been hiding as meticulously as a rat.”
All this time, he had secretly sent people out to comb every corner of the capital, but Baron Sussex’s pawn had not been caught.
“Then are you saying we’re to stay here until you catch him?”
“I don’t care if you leave on your own.”
It meant he was free to leave this place, but not to take Rowena and Damian with him. Seeing in his eyes the determination that he would never leave alone, Killian rose from his seat.
“Stay here until further instructions are given.”
“Rowena.”
Cedric suddenly asked him as Killian had already moved away and taken hold of the doorknob.
“Is she well?”
Was she well? It was a short question, but a weighty one. Rowena was growing thinner and more precarious by the day.
But if he allowed her to meet Damian and this man, there was a high possibility the bastard lurking around them, watching for an opportunity, would notice. And that bastard was currently in no state to care about consequences. If Killian bought just a little more time, he could seize his tail and drag him out. But he could not be certain Rowena would endure until then.
His grip tightened on the doorknob. Killian stood still for a moment, then left the guest room without a word.
As soon as he opened the door and stepped out, Jenok, who had been waiting, reported respectfully.
“The young master is asleep. He washed and ate just now, then fell right out.”
“…….”
Killian, whom Jenok had expected to open Damian’s door at once, headed toward the stairs. Flustered, Jenok followed after him.
“Will you leave without seeing him?”
“Next time.”
“How can you know when next time will be……”
Even coming all the way here had required caution in every matter. To avoid any possible tail, they had not only gone in circles, but had also come in the dead of night when no one was on the streets.
“At least see his face once before you go.”
“Enough.”
If he saw his face even once, he did not know whether he would be able to let him go from his arms. If he cupped those small cheeks in both hands and embraced that warm body, he felt he might be seized by the impulse to take him away then and there. Better, then, not to see him at all. He hastened his steps, but a small voice called him to a stop from behind once more.
“Mister…… Ghost?”
Killian halted abruptly and slowly turned around. Damian, rubbing his sleep-heavy eyes, recognized him and came striding over. The moment he failed to see the stairs and missed his footing, Killian swiftly caught his son and set him upright.
“Mister……”
“Damian.”
“Did you come to see me? Where have you been all this time? Do you know if my mom is doing well?”
Questions poured out in a heap. Instead of answering, Killian lifted Damian into his arms. Damian, cradled in his embrace as lightly as a baby, yawned and wrapped his arms around Killian’s neck.
“I miss…… Mom. Haaah……”
“You’ll see her.”
“When……?”
“Soon.”
“Mister……”
As if reassured by the calm answer, Damian yawned long again and relaxed against him with soft, even breaths. A large hand gently patted Damian’s back as he began to fall asleep once more.
Pushing open the slightly ajar door with his foot, Killian carefully laid Damian’s body on the bed. He stroked the hair that looked exactly like his own, then kissed the small forehead that was the very image of the boy’s mother. When he had first learned of the child’s existence, he had felt nothing but shock. When he saw his face in person, curiosity had stirred, and as he gradually learned more about the boy, a tender affection had settled in his heart.
“Mister……”
He had only been stroking the child’s hair for a short while, and was about to take his heavy steps away, when a small hand caught his sleeve this time.
“Don’t go……”
At the murmured voice, perhaps sleep-talking, Killian gently brushed the back of his hand over the child’s cheek. Seeing him sit back down in the chair by the bedside, Jenok, who had opened the door and entered, spoke cautiously.
“Are you not leaving now?”
“In a little while.”
It was not long before the peace was shattered.
* * *
From the night she became aware of her sleepwalking, Rowena took sleeping pills before going to bed. If she tossed two tablets into her mouth and closed her eyes, she could at least fall into a somewhat deep sleep.
The reason she took a little more than the usual prescribed amount was the impulse to sleep longer. Because while she slept, she could see Damian and hold that small body in her arms.
With the sensation of her body sinking deeply like cotton soaked with water, she drew in a deep breath. The maid who was looking for the medicine bottle entered her room about twenty minutes later.
After confirming that Rowena was sound asleep, the maid discovered that the medicine bottle on the bedside table was far emptier than usual and let out a shrill scream.
When Rowena opened her eyes again, a weighty voice burrowed into her ears.
“Fortunately, she is not in danger. We had her empty her stomach, and she is now resting.”
“……
Thank you for your trouble.”
The one who answered the doctor was Killian. A few days ago, he had purchased the Ludville estate from Owen and had not left her side for a single moment. The only reason she had been able to swallow a few extra sleeping pills was because he had stepped away briefly.
He was a man she so hated she could not even bear to see him, yet perhaps because she was dazed, she somehow felt reassured by that familiar, low, even voice. She was about to fall asleep again when Killian, having seen the doctor out through the maid, called her.
“Rowena.”
Half asleep, half awake, her eyelids remained closed. Perhaps thinking she was asleep, his voice continued.
“Rowena……”
It was the first time she had heard such a pained voice from him. Startled, she forced her eyelids open and met his sunken eyes.
“I thought perhaps you were crying.”
“…….”
“Of course not. Even your blood is cold.”
Words she did not mean slipped from her mouth. Even at those words that pierced like daggers, Killian lifted the corner of his mouth and brushed a cool hand over her forehead.
“How is your body?”
“Heavy.”
“Sleep more.”
“Killian.”
It had been a long time since she had called his name. The hand that had been tidying her disheveled blond hair stopped where it was.
“I want to rest now.”
“Do you want to go out……”
“No.”
As if she had never spoken informally, Rowena returned to polite speech and continued, enunciating each word.
“I want to rest.”
A heavy silence wound through the room. Only after a long while did Killian’s lips move.
“Because of Damian?”
“That too, but I’m so tired.”
“…….”
“All through the life I’ve lived since meeting you, I’ve been so tired. Though not everything was your fault.”
It felt as though she had been running at full speed and collapsed from exhaustion. She no longer had the confidence to run—no, not even to walk. Along with depression came a deep lethargy. It felt as if she had been thrown into the depths of the sea with chains wrapped around her whole body.
“So……”
As she slowly opened her mouth again, something hot touched her cheek. She tried to check what it was, but her eyes fell shut.
“Killian?”
“If you were to leave my side.”
His voice was exactly the same as before. While Rowena froze in surprise, Killian slowly added,
“If you could live beside the person you want and beside your son, would your heart change?”
“……
That could never happen.”
Everything was already tangled beyond repair, impossible to undo. Even the heart that had once been filled only with anger was now gradually turning toward despair and resignation.
“If only that were possible, I would give anything, but……”
“I said if.”
Cutting off Rowena’s words, Killian asked again.
“If that were to happen.”
Rowena thought of Damian. And of Cedric standing beside him. A cute, clever son and a thoughtful, affectionate husband. A family as perfect as one could ask for.
“Yes…… If that were to happen…… perhaps.”
As soon as she answered, sleep came rushing over her. Killian remained by her side for a long time.