Episode 17
I am quietly watching Frey, who has been lying on the bed unable to open his eyes for several hours now.
"Just what... how did this happen..."
When I pressed him about what happened yesterday, he suddenly vomited blood and collapsed. What in the world is going on here?
'Frey didn't have any chronic illness...'
I try hard to recall my memories, but in the previous cycle, he was never this sick. So then, why did he suddenly vomit blood and lose consciousness in this cycle?
'...Could it be related to what he does to me every night?'
Using the dark magic 'Hidden Gaze' to observe him over the past few days, I found that every night he would place his hand on my stomach and close his eyes, concentrating for a long while.
And after that, with an exhausted expression, he would stroke the cat I inhabited while sighing, then trudge back to his own bed.
Since I could stay by his side all day, I observed him closely, but I didn't see any other suspicious behavior beyond that.
So the blood-soaked handprints on the dormitory bed sheets, the blood he vomited when he attacked me before and again at dawn today, and his current unconscious state are probably all connected to what he does to me every night.
If so, what exactly is he doing to me every night?
Until recently, I had thought it was some unidentified dark sorcery.
I had suspected that if Frey was already the Demon King's collaborator at this point, he might be extracting the black mana from my body using some method to commit evil deeds or offer it to the Demon King.
If that were the case, then the deterioration of my physical condition in the previous cycle must have been because he had been secretly doing such things for a long time.
Frey Raon Starlight didn't have the ability to improve my condition—he had the ability to destroy it.
In the end, just as he said when he attacked me, Frey never thought of me as a butler, a servant, or even a human... he had merely thought of me as some kind of tool.
'That should have been the case...'
This had been my conjecture until now. However, because of what happened yesterday, that conjecture began to crumble completely.
Yesterday, he appeared wearing a black robe and mask, and saved me from a demon.
To say he was merely protecting a tool or storage vessel for extracting black mana, he took fatal wounds including having his back pierced by a sword.
If he had treated me as a tool rather than a human as usual, he would never have taken such action.
'...And moreover, what was that strength?'
Frey Raon Starlight is weak. In the previous cycle, he was called the shame of the Starlight family, whether openly or covertly.
This was because he couldn't properly use the 'Star Mana' passed down in the Starlight family, his martial arts skills were pathetic, and his magic power was close to zero.
Yet someone like that overwhelmed Isollet, who is called the next Sword Saint.
I had fainted and only saw Isollet falling, but Frey was definitely holding his sword in a reverse grip at that time.
In other words, he was actually a skilled fighter capable of defeating the next Sword Saint with a reverse-grip sword.
"................."
Looking at Frey who remained quietly with his eyes closed, I quietly posed my questions.
"Why did you protect me?"
"Why did you hide your strength?"
"And why... did you cry so sorrowfully?"
As I asked questions that would receive no answer, I recalled what happened at dawn today.
Yesterday, not knowing why but thinking he might let his guard down and leave some clues since he seemed to like the doll I made, I left the cat doll he used to hug while sleeping on the desk.
When he placed his hand on my stomach and did something, then vomited blood again, I was beginning to suspect that it was indeed some dark sorcery... but I was regretting inside that I lacked decisive evidence.
"...Kitty, a lot happened today."
'...Good, he's started talking to himself.'
As Frey, who was wiping the blood he vomited on the floor, picked up the doll I inhabited and began complaining about his life, my intention worked exactly as planned.
"If I told you everything that happened, we'd be here all night, so I can't tell you everything... but roughly speaking, I've passed through at least 3 near-death situations."
'...Could it be, was that man really Frey?'
As he spoke about what could be surmised from yesterday's events, and my suspicion that the masked man at the auction house was Frey grew even stronger...
"And... I also saw a letter containing my father's true feelings. I almost burst into tears then... but I held it in. Because I'm a hero."
'...Hero?'
He suddenly brought up the word hero. As I tilted my head inwardly, unable to understand his words, he suddenly muttered with a trembling voice.
"...Honestly, it's hard. It's so hard I feel like I'm going to die, but what can I do? I'm a hero. I have no choice but to do my best."
'.......!'
Saying those words, Frey was shedding tears.
At his sorrowful appearance, something I had never seen even in the previous cycle, I flinched momentarily, but he just held me and cried sorrowfully.
After crying while holding me for a long while, he eventually trudged back to his bed, and thanks to that, I had no choice but to spend the whole night deep in thought while inhabiting the cat.
"...So, there was a reason for everything?"
And after long contemplation through the night, the conclusion I reached was a new hypothesis: every one of his actions had a reason.
His appearance as he called himself a hero and cried so sorrowfully looked so pitiful and lonely that it couldn't be explained unless there was such a reason.
That's why, this morning, I tried to ask him for the truth.
What reason he had for doing something to me every night, why he hid his strength, why he vomits blood so often... and why he engages in such ugly acts while feeling so lonely and sad.
But when I asked about that, this situation occurred.
'...There's no time.'
I had decided to plan Frey's downfall and death starting tomorrow with the Imperial Princess and the Saintess. So I need to learn the truth about Frey Raon Starlight before it's too late.
Even if it's to decide whether to continue hating Frey and driving him to death, or to consider his circumstances and at least spare his life.
- Shuuu...
Thinking such thoughts, I quietly extended my hand and summoned a large amount of black energy from subspace.
This black energy is the dark magic power prepared to use the 'curse more terrible than death' that I had decided to gift him on the first day of my regression.
Ever since I suspected that Frey was stealing my black magic power, I had been investing a significant portion of the black magic power accumulating in my body daily and storing it in subspace.
I did this thinking that if he really was stealing my black magic power, without secretly gathering and hiding some like this, I wouldn't even have the black magic power to use the curse later.
'...This should be enough to be possible.'
I intend to use this black magic power now to penetrate Frey's unconscious mind and learn the truth.
Even though Frey, as the direct descendant of the Hero of the Stars, has had absolute resistance to mental manipulation magic since the previous cycle... he won't be able to protect his unconscious mind.
The space of the unconscious mind is, literally, an unknown space... so if I resonate with black magic power that carries a similar energy, I can easily enter.
Also, even Frey, who has resistance to mental attacks, won't be able to respond—rather, he won't even perceive that he's being penetrated.
This advanced dark magic is different from mental attacks that 'attack' consciousness—it's a magic that 'visits' the opponent's unconscious mind.
Of course, having such advantages means there are also disadvantages.
I don't know what I might encounter inside the unconscious mind.
Since the medium that enables visiting the unconscious is the 'dark energy' of black magic power, the ugliness and darkness that person possesses will materialize and spring forth from all directions.
And the 'administrator' I meet there will try to enchant me and assimilate me into the unconscious forever.
Of course, since I've penetrated several people's unconscious minds before, I know how to deal with or restrain the administrator using magic power... but it's still a place where I must never let my guard down.
- Shaaaak...
Recalling these precautions as I pushed the black magic power into the unconscious Frey, I momentarily stopped my actions and began to hesitate.
'If I use this here, I won't be able to use the curse more terrible than death on him...'
This is my insurance prepared for the worst-case scenario. If I use all of this to penetrate his unconscious mind... even using all my remaining life, I wouldn't be able to cast that curse.
After contemplating for a moment, I finally pushed in the remaining energy and muttered.
"...Even without that curse, there are many ways to take revenge."
After sending all of the black magic power, enough to allow me to live stably for several months, into Frey, I quietly closed my eyes and began to resonate with his unconscious mind.
'It's a shame about the black magic power... but I'm using what's mine anyway, so it doesn't matter.'
Thus, feeling a slight regret, I was sucked into his unconscious mind.
.
Something was wrong.
"...The surroundings are too bright, aren't they?"
A person's unconscious mind should be dark and gloomy with all sorts of strange things floating around. Yet this space feels bright and sacred.
"Could the magic have failed... no, that can't be."
I had pushed in all the black magic power I'd gathered daily while crossing the threshold of death. The spell formation was also perfect, and seeing my black magic power resonating, this place is definitely inside the unconscious mind.
Then why is it so bright here?
"...Um, over there."
"........!!!"
Thinking such thoughts while looking around nervously, I was startled when a human voice came from below me and quickly retreated backward.
"...Who are you?"
"Ah, hello, big sister..."
Before me stood a young child.
After looking at the child suspiciously for a moment, I cautiously posed my question.
"...Are you perhaps the administrator of the unconscious mind?"
"...Yes!"
The child answered with a bright smile.
"But, how did you come here...!"
"...Stay still."
And the next moment, I bound the little child tightly with magic chains.
"Cough! Cough! I, I can't breathe...!"
"............"
The child... no, Frey in his young form was gasping with a rather pitiful expression, but one must never let their guard down in front of an unconscious mind administrator.
If you let your guard down, you could be trapped forever in the other person's unconscious mind. Eight or nine out of ten administrators I've met so far have tried to do such things.
"...Prohibit causing harm to me. Prohibit speaking falsehoods to me. Ensure you follow my commands absolutely."
"Yes, yess..."
Therefore, when dealing with an unconscious mind administrator, the basic rule is to place restrictions using magic power: preventing them from attacking me, preventing them from deceiving by making them speak only truth, and making them follow commands so they can be subdued with a single word if necessary.
"...Heuk!"
When I, who had placed the restrictions, released the magic chains, the young Frey who had fallen on his bottom looked at me fearfully and began to scoot backward.
But I don't feel sorry for him at all.
He abused and tormented me in that very form when I first entered the ducal house. So from my perspective, he simply looks repulsive.
"Answer my questions from now on."
"...Y, yes!"
"...Why did Frey protect me yesterday?"
When I asked my question, the young one rolled his eyes and then opened his mouth.
"...Because he wanted to save you."
"Why?"
"Because someone precious to him was in a life-threatening crisis, Frey tried to save you."
"......?"
I don't understand. Why on earth would he?
"...I don't quite understand."
"...Yes?"
"Frey used me as a tool... and tried to exploit me. Someone like that wouldn't think of me as precious."
"...That's not true?"
Hearing my words, he tilted his head and answered.
"...Frey doesn't think of you as a tool, nor did he exploit you."
"............"
"...Rather, he loved you."
"..........!"
Hearing those words, I bit my lip hard.
"What exactly makes you call that love?"
"Um, well..."
"If there was any action he took because he loved me, tell me. An action I could accept."
When I spoke in anger, the young one began to hesitate.
I gave such a cold smile to him and began to sneer, but...
"For example... there's the fact that he shared his life force to save you in both the previous cycle and this cycle..."
"...What did you say?"
When the little child answered with a timid expression, I stopped mid-sentence and asked back in bewilderment.
"...There's more besides this, should I continue?"
".........!"
Hearing his following words, I could intuitively feel it.
The one who was wrong was actually me.
.
"................."
"U, um... are you okay?"
My mind is blank.
The stories I heard from the young Frey who is the administrator of the unconscious mind are simply unbelievable.
The shocking reason why Frey loves me.
The destiny he carries as a hero.
The hero's sacred artifacts that can only be awakened by committing evil deeds.
The world where Frey must cause the world's destruction once and regress, or else be destroyed by the Demon King.
The 'Villain' system that Frey possesses.
And...
"Thus, in the end, Frey, having awakened the hero's sacred artifacts, clashes with the Demon King."
"............"
"In that battle, Frey defeats the Demon King using the hero's sacred artifacts that have gained complete power, but due to the side effects of the completed hero's sacred artifacts, before long..."
".........Stop."
"...his life force runs out completely. According to the words of the previous hero left in the prophetic book... after that, Frey lies powerlessly on the ground, and only then do the main heroines who've realized everything come and hold him while crying, and..."
".....Stop it!!!"
"H, however..."
"...The hero looks at them with a brighter smile than any other time, and then finally..."
".......I said stop!!!!!"
"I, I'm sorry..."
"Sorry... please stop talking about that part... I'm begging you..."
"........"
When I asked earnestly, the young Frey was forced to close his mouth by the magic restriction I had placed.
Of course, that child is guilty only of telling the truth... but if I heard any more, I felt like my mind would break and I would be assimilated into the unconscious mind, so I had no choice.
"......I have one question."
".........Yes."
"When I took my own life in front of him in the previous cycle... what reaction did he show...?"
"...He cried for the fifth time in his life."
"...Fifth time?"
At the mention that he cried for the fifth time, suspecting what that meant, when I asked about other situations, the young Frey began to explain one by one.
"The first time was when Isollet was found as a cold corpse at the academy."
"...I see."
"Frey, who lost someone he knew for the first time, almost abandoned his plan to commit evil deeds then."
"...The second time?"
"The second time was when the Demon King's army occupied the Imperial Castle, and Frey's fiancée died at the hands of the Demon King while fighting desperately to buy time for the Imperial Princess to escape the castle. At that time, all Frey could do was bury her body that had been left behind pathetically."
"The third...?"
"The third time was when Irina Piliarde dealt a fatal wound to the Demon King and was torn apart in all directions. At that time, since no body remained... he just sat down in the blood-soaked place and cried for a long while."
"...Tell me the rest yourself."
"The fourth time was when Peruloche died while loading the empire's people onto ships and staying behind on land to stop the Demon King's army. The fifth time was you, and the sixth time was when he offered the Imperial Princess as a sacrifice with his own hands."
"...Ha."
I can't even imagine how great the mental pain he experienced must have been. Did I, in front of such a person, dare to call him disgusting and take my own life?
"The seventh time was... at the final dinner with his father before going to die together with the Demon King."
"........."
"At that time, Frey put the least painful poison in his father's meal and was quietly eating, when his father suddenly looked at him with a faint smile and closed his eyes... Frey collapsed on the table and sobbed for a while."
"...And then, he died together with the Demon King... and regressed?"
"...Yes. And you've already seen the 8th cry, haven't you?"
After the young Frey's words ended, a long silence flowed.
"...Then, he gave me so much life force that he's now unconscious?"
"........"
"I received the life force he poured into me while losing consciousness... and I thought it was my own and used it freely as black magic power?"
"Th, that's..."
"And while doing that, I thought he was stealing my life force, hated him, and was planning to kill him... really..."
"...That's a system penalty."
As I was sneering coldly in self-mockery, suddenly the young Frey interjected into my mumbling.
"If his identity as the Villain is discovered, his lifespan and life force decrease significantly. When that happens... the clear rate also decreases significantly..."
"Ugh...!"
"...Sister?"
Hearing those words, I began to retch.
It's disgusting.
I, a wicked dark mage with cursed magic power, used the life force he gave me by cutting into his own life to save me, as I pleased,
I, who hated him so much and was hell-bent on killing him,
And I, who triggered the system penalty to significantly reduce his lifespan and life force, and even lowered the possibility of this world being saved... am truly unbearably disgusting.
"Ugh... uegh..."
Thinking such thoughts, I collapsed on the floor and continued to dry heave.
"...Please don't do that."
Then, Frey in his young form approached, stroked my back, and spoke with a serious expression.
"Don't hate yourself."
"...What?"
"Being hated by one person is enough."
".......!"
Saying that, his bright smiling figure shone like a star, harmonizing with the bright and sacred atmosphere around him.
After blankly staring at him for a moment, I intuitively realized that if I continued talking with the administrator, I would lose my mind and be assimilated into the unconscious world, and I raised my trembling hand and snapped my fingers.
"...In the end, hope will surely exist."
Thus, hearing his dreamlike voice that seemed to come from a dream, I returned to the dormitory room.
Frey was still lying with his eyes closed.
.
"...Ugh."
When I opened my eyes, the dormitory ceiling came into view.
Why am I seeing the dormitory ceiling? And why is my mind so hazy?
"...Young master."
"Kania? Why are you... ah."
Momentarily dazed, I discovered Kania standing expressionless before my eyes and then froze.
'...I'm done for.'
Kania discovered my good deeds.
And the price for that seems to have been greater than I thought.
"How long have I been like this?"
"...You've been like this all day."
Hearing those words and looking out the window, birds were chirping happily in the morning sunlight.
I tried to force my body up, but no strength entered my body.
".................."
And Kania was quietly watching me.
I tried to explain to her what had happened, but then changed my mind.
If she learns all the truth, she will likely suffer great guilt. Although unintentional, she periodically used my life force and triggered the system penalty to put me in danger.
Of course, I had decided from the beginning to bear everything alone, so I won't reveal such facts and cause her pain.
I will now tell the scenario I had prepared in case my good deeds were discovered by the main heroines—one that would make Kania feel as little guilt as possible.
Suffering is enough for me alone.
"You must be curious about what happened."
".............."
"...Then, I'll tell you the truth."
With my mind made up, I looked at Kania coldly and spoke.
"...I used you."
At that, cracks appeared in her expression.
Feeling an inexplicably familiar feeling, I guess being hated really does suit me.