Episode 113
"Where exactly are we going?"
"Just follow me. You'll understand if you come along."
I'm sorry, Frey. For dragging you into my whims.
Seeing how deeply you frowned, you must have been quite angry. I really don't know what to do with myself. I didn't want to cause you any more trouble.
"Ah, there it is."
"...What is that?"
But for a few days. No, perhaps it might only be today.
Still, I hope you'll humor me for this first whim of mine.
"Why are you doing this? It's not like you're seeing a carriage for the first time."
"No, you said let's take a walk. Why a carriage..."
"A walk doesn't necessarily have to be done on foot. So please, get in."
Saying that, Frey started looking at me with an absurd expression.
'...Ugh.'
Whenever he looks at me with those eyes, my heart aches. It's like driving a red-hot nail into my heart.
But it can't be helped. It's all my karma...
No, it's because of the vow. I can't help it because of the vow. I must remember. Right now I'm...
-Tremble...
Oh dear. Lost in complicated thoughts, my hands have started trembling.
If only someone would hold my hand. But only the cold night air wraps around my hand.
-Neeeigh!!
Thinking such thoughts as I climbed into the carriage and gazed out the window, the horse neighed powerfully and the carriage began to move.
"Yawn..."
I looked at Frey with a slightly fluttering heart, but he was yawning with a tired expression.
Well, it is late at night. No wonder he's tired. Thanks to that, I felt even more sorry toward Frey, who I already felt bad about.
But, though it's a shameless thing to say... please spend a few days with me, even just today.
Perhaps the time I spend with you now could be the last.
"Hup, cough."
"Ah."
"Hem, hem."
While I was thinking such thoughts, Frey suddenly started coughing. Did he catch a cold?
-Swish.
Ah, it wasn't a cold.
With a flustered expression, he covered his mouth and pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket - a self-cleaning handkerchief at that - so it couldn't just be a cold.
As insensitive and incompetent as I am.
As long as memories are gradually resurfacing, I know at least that much.
"Frey, does it hurt a lot?"
"It's nothing. Just a cold."
"...I see."
A lie. I already heard from Perloche. That your remaining lifespan is short.
When I first heard it, I just felt vindicated. I believed that because the causality was twisted due to the regressions of me and others, you, a villain, had become terminally ill.
That's why, every time you committed evil acts you hadn't done in previous cycles, I grew more anxious.
Perhaps that was a side effect of twisted causality making you terminally ill. So people who didn't die in the previous cycle might die, or there might be greater victims.
And what if the Demon King highly values you and resurrects you to make you a trusted subordinate.
I was truly afraid.
So I decided to kill you.
I thought the twisted causality was my responsibility as a regressor. I tried to end everything with my own hands before you could commit new wrongs.
But, but...
To think something like that would happen.
'No. Not yet. Just hold on a little longer. There's still so much I want to try.'
Shaking my head to quickly brush away the thoughts that momentarily crossed my mind, I began to focus on the peculiar energy I felt in front of me.
'Star mana... and moon mana. And even dark magic power?'
Energies that are hard to see even if you pay millions are gathered together and resonating. Though the energy is small, the characteristics are strong so I can recognize them quickly.
So, where exactly is this energy coming from? I should look for it.
"...What are you staring at so intently?"
"Frey, could I see that handkerchief for a moment?"
Thinking such thoughts as I continued reading the energy, I was finally able to find the source of the energy.
"Here."
"Thank you."
The handkerchief Frey handed over had colorful pictures drawn on it.
A silver cat emitting star mana, a black cat emanating dark magic power playing with that cat.
And the moon flowing with moon mana, gently illuminating the handkerchief.
These must be things left by people precious to Frey.
-Shaaa...
"Clana?"
It must be a precious item to Frey, but dare I leave my mark on it like this?
"...I'm sorry."
Thinking such thoughts, I was already infusing sun mana into the handkerchief. Oh my, I really am shameless. Well, that's me.
If only I could dye this small handkerchief in brilliant light. Or at least, if only I could draw in the sun, that would have been nice.
"Here, take it."
"...What is this?"
But I'm not that shameless a person.
That's why I engraved a small canary next to the silver cat.
It's a trace so small it's shabby compared to the brilliantly shining sun, but I wanted to leave my mark even like that.
So.
Shameless as it is, please remember who I was when you see that. Frey.
That alone will satisfy me.
"Where we're going now... is it the place I'm thinking of?"
"...What?"
"Is it or not?"
Lost in lingering thoughts, Frey suddenly threw a question with an urgent expression.
"...Probably?"
After hesitating briefly, I answered like that, and Frey's face started turning pale. Well, I would probably be the same.
It's like a carriage carrying a time bomb heading toward a place full of oil and fire.
But that was a place I really wanted to visit with you at least once more.
"Really, we're going to that forest?"
"No, the tavern that was near there."
"What?"
"The tavern we entered without knowing any better that day we barely escaped from that forest together."
Hearing my words, Frey's expression started becoming complicated.
Half was slightly relieved, half was questioning.
By the way, was Frey someone who made such diverse expressions? Until now, he only made arrogant or shameless expressions.
"Why that tavern suddenly?"
"Hmm..."
As I was thinking such pointless thoughts, Frey started asking questions.
How should I answer that question? Because I didn't have courage? Because stress was building up? Or... to make even a few more happy memories with you?
"...I wanted to drink alcohol."
"If that's the case, I know a better place..."
"With you, just the two of us."
"...Hmm."
As I finished speaking, Frey closed his mouth and fell into thought.
Ah, is he not thinking but falling asleep? His breathing has quieted and he's making snoring sounds, so he must have fallen asleep.
-Swish...
Looking at him like that, I carefully moved to the seat next to him and started gazing at the stars reflected outside the window.
Tonight, the stars are truly beautiful.
.
"The alcohol you ordered is here."
"...Thank you."
A waiter with an indifferent expression placed the alcohol on the table where Frey and I were sitting and left.
"Can you even drink this?"
Frey, looking at the alcohol with a frown, asked me in a quiet voice.
"What do you mean?"
"You weren't weak to alcohol, were you?"
"...So you remember from when I was young."
Hearing those words, Frey quietly closed his mouth and turned his gaze to the side. If you're going to change the subject, do it naturally. That's too obvious.
"This is where we came after making the vow in that forest and barely escaping, not knowing any better. Thinking it was a restaurant, not a tavern."
"Well, I don't remember well."
"I remember. The expensive clothes worth hundreds of gold turned into rags, and you, looking like a beggar, said to me who looked equally like a beggar."
Saying that, Frey's eyebrows started twitching.
"...You probably said I looked really ridiculous, didn't you?"
"Did I?"
"Yes, you did."
As I said that, watching him quietly sigh, I muttered internally.
'And you said you would invite me to your birthday party a little later.'
You were smiling brightly when you said that.
Unlike nobles who put calculation and pretense even into inviting someone to a birthday, you had a pure and bright smile.
"Do you remember when we drank alcohol at that tavern without knowing better and got completely drunk?"
"........"
"Because of that, we were kicked out of the tavern and slept curled up together just like we did in the forest."
"What do you want?"
Listing old memories, but Frey just responds coldly.
Well, from his position now, it can't be helped.
"Only that time was really good."
Saying that, I poured alcohol into the cup and drank it.
"You..."
"It's fine. I worked hard to increase my tolerance."
"Is that possible?"
"The only thing I can do is make effort."
Answering Frey's question, I drank again and spoke in a quiet voice.
"Anyway, only the memories from that time were... No. Never mind."
".....?"
At my meaningful words, Frey started tilting his head. Understandable. A time bomb that could go off at any moment is making anxious sounds.
Thinking such thoughts, I finished the words I couldn't say internally.
'...I will absolutely never forget those memories.'
Around that time, I was very excited about making a friend for the first time in my life.
So I planned to visit you whenever I had time.
But the Empress wouldn't leave me alone, and eventually locked in a solitary cell, I could only spend my days thinking about playing happily with you again.
But there was an opportunity.
The birthday party you invited me to.
I waited for that day, counting on my fingers, and waited...
And how excited I was on the day of the birthday party, thinking about playing with you.
But of all days, that day, your mother passed away.
- Frey, are you okay...
- ...Get lost.
And after that day, you changed.
The pure and upright soul I had sworn to serve until I died disappeared, and instead, an ugly scoundrel wearing your mask roamed the Empire.
That must have been why.
Even after losing my memories, I was reluctant to make friends.
That you changed must have been quite a shock to me.
'But...'
But now I know. The person I promised to serve is still inside you...
"Aaaaaah!!"
"...You startled me."
When I suddenly screamed, Frey, who was watching me and bringing alcohol to his mouth, was startled and dropped his glass.
"Is it true that the alcohol has really gotten stronger?"
"...I'm sorry."
I'm sorry to Frey, but it couldn't be helped.
Just now, I almost made a huge mistake.
Thanks to that, my face slightly pale and hands trembling, Frey frowned and asked.
"So, why did you suddenly want to drink alcohol?"
"I said it earlier. Just the two of us..."
"Not that, the real reason."
The real reason... the real reason...
That is.
"It's because of the vow."
"The vow?"
"Yes. Seeing that you've been looking stressed lately, I bought you alcohol in accordance with the vow. It's an obligation forced on me so I can't help it."
Of course it's not because of the vow.
Memories of the 'trial' are gradually returning.
So I tried following the mind control that Serena from the previous cycle often used, but... as expected, such a technique was too good for someone like me.
Well, it's obvious for someone incompetent like me.
Not smart like Serena.
Can't use black magic like Kania.
Not as kind as Perloche.
Not as excellent at magic as Irina.
From childhood until now, from the previous cycle to this one. Even though I grit my teeth and made bloody efforts, I'm barely this kind of person.
Awkwardly imitating Serena only made the speed of memory recovery intensify rather than lessen.
Well, saying everything is because of the 'vow,' how could such a clumsy suggestion manipulate emotions.
Fortunately, I'm barely staying on the dangerous line right now... but at most within a few days, perhaps even within today, I might become certain about you.
Yes, so.
I have no choice but to use the last resort.
"Frey, do you like animals?"
"...I don't dislike them."
"Then you must like canaries too?"
"What's the point of the question?"
Looking at Frey who was still tilting his head with a suspicious expression, I said with a smile.
"Seeing that you've kept the canary I placed on your shoulder earlier until now... you do like them, right?"
"...Sigh."
"Take it as that."
After transforming into a canary and scouting the academy, I saw you petting a cat in the backyard several times.
Not only that, you always feed and pet Serena's owl too.
And you treat my canary well too.
Judging from all that, animals can't cause 'harm' to you.
Then, there's only one answer.
"Frey, I'll give you that bird as a gift."
"Suddenly?"
"Yes. So..."
I will soon fall into eternal sleep.
Probably won't wake up until my life ends. I'll move my soul and mind elsewhere.
Yes.
Before the foolish sun's rampage swallows the beautiful star.
I will become your canary that stays by your side and sings.
So,
"...Please take good care of it."