A fatigue and tension so intense that if I let my guard down for even an instant, I felt I would lose consciousness.
With what right could a commander who had lost all his subordinates survive alone and flee so wretchedly? Even I could not answer that.
Only the extravagant thought that I had to return to my homeland kept this miserable body moving and allowed me to survive until now.
But even after spending days in humiliation, holding my breath as I fled, and somehow managing to shake off pursuit… this was my limit.
All I had eaten so far were things like tree fruits, or leaves soft enough that I could at least force them down.
It was the only way to deceive the eyes of those Ordos bastards, who chased defeated soldiers like tireless hounds.
Heh… it isn’t even funny. That the garbage-like jerky I had refused to put in my mouth throughout the entire war would now be flickering before my eyes simply because it was meat.
But was I hallucinating now that death was near?
In this green hell filled with nothing but the endless scent of grass, I could feel an indescribably mouthwatering aroma seeping in.
This is… chicken? Yes, definitely chicken. The smell of richly boiled chicken broth.
But I had never heard of civilians living in this disputed zone, whether from our Peter or the enemy nation, Ordos.
There was no way the Ordos bastards had gotten ahead of me, and even if they had, they would never make themselves this obvious.
…Are they trying to lure me with food? Even as I worked my head, shriveled as badly as my dried-up stomach, no answer came to me.
“…Ah! Since I brought you along anyway… what are you so displeased about?!”
And then, at that moment, a man’s voice struck my ears with a clarity that felt like a lie.
There seemed to be some distance, so I could not make out exactly what he said, but his tone sounded somehow full of dissatisfaction….
But right now, what he said was not important.
Following the scent, following the direction from which the voice had burst forth, I squeezed out every last bit of strength I did and did not have, and ran and ran.
Falling into a trance, literally like a beast following instinct, I ran madly on two feet, and at times on all fours, until a dreamlike sight unfolded before me.
In the middle of the forest, on a faintly marked footpath, stood a single house that gave off a warm, cozy feeling.
Did this make any sense? Hearing a man’s voice right in front of a battlefield was shocking enough, but someone was actually living in a place like this?
Yet as if mocking my wretched imagination, in front of the house remained the traces of a campfire that had only recently gone out, close enough that I could still feel its heat from a step away.
Was there any need to hesitate? I immediately charged toward the door and began pounding on it like a madwoman.
* * *
“Whoa, what on earth is going on? F-for now, please come in.”
“Thank you… cough. Sorry, but could I have a cup of water?”
“Of course. Sit wherever you’re comfortable and wait. I’ll bring it right away.”
Standing outside the door was a woman so battered that she drew a gasp, looking as if she might collapse at any moment.
I had guessed as much from the state of her voice, but I never imagined she would be in this bad a condition.
The first impression that entered my sight was her hair, so caked in mud and dust that I couldn’t even tell what its original color had been, making it look like an old mop.
Her clothes, too, were covered in mud, with crumbled fallen leaves and twigs stuck all over them, as if she had been dunked into a swamp and pulled back out.
Even then, the only things she could be said to be wearing properly were tattered pants and boots, while her top had been torn and stretched into a rag so shabby it was worse than wearing nothing at all.
Thanks to that, the front was wide open, and I could see a plain bra firmly holding two breasts, as well as the deep valley between them, but I did not feel particularly aroused.
On top of that, I was so glad to have met a person for the first time in days that, rather than excitement, I was filled with pure anticipation, wanting to talk as soon as possible, and quickly brought her water.
With hands roughened by dry dirt, she received the cup gratefully as if she had found an oasis in the desert, gulped it down, then choked and coughed for a long while before finally managing to speak.
“Cough… ahem. Thank you, young man. You saved me. My name is… Jesha. I lost my way in the forest and was wandering. Once again, I thank you for your help.”
“Don’t mention it, Ms. Jesha. But if you lost your way…”
“Wait! I… I’m sorry to interrupt, but might there be anything to eat? I’m ashamed to say I haven’t eaten properly for several days now, and I feel like I’m going to die.”
The fact that she had lost her way meant there was also a way out of here somewhere.
But just as I was about to ask, just in case, which direction I should go to leave, Jesha cut off my question and immediately made her next request.
…It couldn’t be helped. Looking at her sunken cheeks, it did seem like feeding her something came first.
Of course, if I gave her solid food right away in her current condition, Jesha’s stomach, which looked as if it had been starving for at least a day, would be shocked and she’d end up ill.
“Here. I’ll boil some fresh water so you can wash, so drink this slowly first.”
“Ahh… yes. This was it. This scent guided me here. Is this… soup boiled with chicken?”
“Soup? Hmm… it’s sort of in the middle of becoming that. Anyway, if it’s not enough, let me know. I’ll bring you more.”
When she smelled the broth up close, both of Jesha’s pupils seemed to be dyed with the clear, milky color of the soup.
Feeling saliva gather in her parched mouth, she slowly let the broth flow between her cracked, chapped lips, as if watering drought-stricken earth.
…Warmth. Yes, if I were to express this in one word, it was warmth.
The warmth she had felt in that thin, watery soup her father had made for her when she was a child who still did not know the terrors of the world, after returning home from playing with friends.
But unlike back then, when only leftover vegetable scraps and a few tiny pieces of poor-quality meat had barely been added, leaving a strong gamey smell, this broth was clean, rich, savory, and full of umami from beginning to end, filling her mouth.
It was so deep that she could feel its concentration, and though it had instantly traveled down her throat and was already warming her stomach, its flavor was so profound that she almost mistook it for still lingering on her tongue.
“Uh, huh? You finished it already? Would you like another bowl?”
“…Please. It’s delicious enough as it is, so I can hardly believe it isn’t complete yet. More importantly, do you live alone? It may be needless meddling, but for a man to live alone in such a dangerous place…”
Jesha, seeming to have gained a little composure now that something had entered her stomach, looked around and asked in a worried tone.
…Hm? Wasn’t there something strange about that? She was asking if it was hard for a man to live alone in such a rough place?
Given that my new body had rather delicate features, it would be one thing if she mistook me for a woman, but to ask that while knowing I was a man?
It was a question that made me tilt my head, but I didn’t want the first person I met in this world to look at me strangely, so I decided to play along for now.
“Ah, um… I’m managing somehow. One thing led to another, and I ended up living here alone.”
“One thing led to another? Ah, aah… I see. I’m sorry. I asked something unnecessary.”
Judging by her reaction, she seemed to be misunderstanding something.
But rather than correct her, I simply let her keep misunderstanding on her own. It wasn’t as if I had lied in the first place, so… it should be fine, right?
“Um… yes. That’s how it is. More importantly, our inn does have a bathtub, but it’s behind the building. I think you’ll have to wash outside. Is that all right?”
“Is that so? But I’ll accept only your offer in gratitude. For a penniless widow living alone to impose on you that much…”
“Oh, don’t worry about money. If it burdens you that much, how about we say everything is free because you’re the first guest at our inn?”
Only after refusing several times did Jesha reluctantly nod, and I brought out a large cauldron to boil bathwater.
But something… had been strange for a while now, hadn’t it? Worrying about a man living alone, calling herself a widow.
What exactly was this sense of wrongness, as if I were talking to someone from a world where the concept of gender roles had been completely reversed?
Still full of questions, I set the cauldron over the campfire, which still held some heat, and was about to light it again when Jesha suddenly opened the door and rushed out to stop me.
“W-wait! Are you about to light a fire?”
“Huh? Well… yes. I need to heat water for you to wash.”
“I-it’s fine! It’s fine… c-cold water will do! No, I prefer cold water! Let me use cold water!”
If a fire was lit, smoke would rise. And smoke was one of the clearest signs that humans were present.
Even if he did not intend it, it would give the pursuers a clue, so if possible, I wanted to use fire as little as possible.
He was such a beautiful male owner that I wanted to take him into my arms at once if I could… but I still did not know whether he was one of our people or a person from the enemy nation, so I could not let down my guard.
He found it odd that I refused his kindness, but soon smiled and said he understood, then energetically pulled out a large bathtub and began drawing water from the well.
Even when I said I would help, he did not so much as blink. Watching him stubbornly draw bucket after bucket of water even with a man’s body and fill the bathtub, I could indeed say he was like a widower living alone after losing his wife… but that strong ability to manage his life also felt charming.
“Then I’ll make something to eat, so wash up and come inside. I’ll leave clothes for you to change into here beside the well.”
“Thank you. I’ll make use of them.”
After drawing a suitable amount of water and calling her, Jesha immediately stripped off her top and walked behind the inn.
Even if it was in a state no different from not wearing anything, she took it off so unhesitatingly that I was flustered.
I was so startled that I turned my head without realizing it and hurried back inside the house.
Ugh, Jesha… I feel like I just showed her what a loser with no experience with women looks like. She won’t think it’s strange, right?
‘Your wife… you were truly both a fortunate person and an unfortunate one. To die first and leave behind such a chaste and lovely man.’
Jesha poured water over her head and began thoroughly washing every corner of her body.
In her mind, she could not shake the image of the beautiful male owner, widowed after parting with his wife at a young age, and the delicate, crafted-ornament-like white wrists he had shown while drawing water, the nape of his neck with sweat trickling down it, and the clear collarbone glimpsed through a gap.
Yes… she was reminded of a novel whose contents she had vaguely heard once.
A story about a warrior who, after losing everything and wandering, met a beautiful widower and settled down to live happily ever after.
As the water in the bathtub washed away impurities and flowed down in a dull, viscous color, Jesha’s mind, as women’s minds often did, was already drawing a future together with the male owner in this place.
A crushing defeat in the battle fought near Barmoran Forest, where the borders of the two nations met, the most crucial turning point.
Even if, perhaps—no, almost certainly—I alone survived and fled back to my homeland… there would be no one anywhere who would welcome me. I would be fortunate if they did not kill me to hold me responsible.
…The Ordos pursuit force, which had been riding high and chasing the defeated soldiers of our Peter, seemed to have withdrawn to reorganize.
The fact that I had been one of the commanders of the Peter unit—if I properly disposed of the uniform I was wearing now, no one would know I was from Peter.
A man. I was already exhausted. Exhausted by the madness of driving my precious subordinates to their deaths under the orders of corrupt humans.
A man… I did not care what past that male owner had. I had fallen for him at first sight, enough that I did not care even if he was a widower. For his kindness, for his lovely appearance.
Jesha looked at her own face reflected in a bucket full of water.
It was not the sort of face popular with men, but at least it had become clean.
Growl….
Her stomach, which had been quiet until now, began to rumble wildly with anticipation, as if, now that rich chicken broth had entered it, it believed proper real food was finally about to come.
…There is a saying that if the quality of the soldiers is perfectly equal, the side with the better meals wins.
Much less could she, who had not properly eaten anything until now, possibly conquer a devoted man who still could not leave the house his wife had left behind.
Unknown woman. I’m sorry, but I’ll be taking your husband….
But I promise you this. I will do my utmost to make him happy.