Beep…….
Beep――.
Beep―――.
The sensation, as though I were hearing sounds from outside while submerged underwater, gradually grew clearer. The first thing I heard was a chillingly repetitive beeping.
Then came the sound of the oxygen respirator running, the sound of my own breathing in and out. Now and then, the faint sound of a drop of fluid falling from the IV.
‘……It’s a dream.’
A dream. A dream so meticulously recreating my memories that even the sensations of those days felt perfect.
When I moved my eyes slightly and looked around, all I could see were pure white walls. The only window was one so small that a single person would have trouble squeezing through it.
And even beyond that, there were always dark clouds hanging thick in the sky, with nothing but rain falling, so there was nothing to look at anyway.
With a trembling hand that barely moved, I roughly pulled off the oxygen respirator and struggled to raise myself up. Every time I moved, agony coursed through my entire body.
But that was all it was. As long as the body was not completely immobile, most things could be solved with willpower.
Because I had removed the oxygen respirator, even breathing was difficult, but it was far better than the unpleasant feeling of having air forced into me.
I lifted an arm so heavy it felt as though a weight had been hung from it, and with great effort picked up the mirror lying on the bedside table.
Reflected in the mirror was an ordinary-looking boy with dark brown eyes close to black, and shaggy black hair that looked as if it had not been cut in a long time.
Somewhere between his teens and twenties, perhaps. My memories, too, told me that this period had probably been around then.
The figure reflected in the mirror was me.
Compared to the old days, it had grown rather faint, but even so, this memory could be called the foundation that made me who I was.
Before I fell ill, I think I was raised with a fair amount of love, but after I became sick, I barely remembered seeing my parents’ faces.
And even those faces, I could no longer recall.
Now, I could look back on it without feeling much of anything.
But the memory of that time, when I cried out from the depths of my heart, desperately hoping for a saving hand that would never come, was still vivid.
Perhaps one of the reasons I kept taking in and raising disciples who would die soon anyway, regretting it each time and yet doing it again and again, was a reaction to this memory.
When I closed my eyes briefly and opened them again, the shaggy-haired boy was no longer reflected in the mirror.
All that was reflected was a girl with white hair.
◇
“……!!”
Unlike usual, I woke in surprise and abruptly shot upright.
There was no way I had broken out in something like a cold sweat, and yet, without realizing it, I placed a hand on my forehead and swept it to the side.
I had not used any great amount of power recently, yet I had a nightmare. It had been a long time since something like this happened.
My body was not particularly dirty, but wanting at least to shake off the unpleasant feeling, I wet a towel with warm water and wiped myself down carefully.
All the while, outside was quiet, without even the sound of people coming and going.
To get through this winter, we had rented a house near the outskirts of Klumpel for four months.
It had two rooms on the second floor, and the space on the first floor was decently large as well, so even though we were only renting it for four months, more than half the money we had was gone.
Still, I did not regret it. We would be staying here all winter, and living in an inn the whole time would be a bit much.
As for the vanished money, we could earn it back later by working.
Mercenary work…… was a bit questionable since it might involve killing people, so perhaps helping out at a tavern nearby.
Or requests to smash the heads of monsters would be fine too. It would serve as Cassian’s practical training, killing two birds with one stone.
After refreshing myself, it was breakfast.
Yesterday, we had only just unpacked, and there were no suitable ingredients, so we had made do with preserved food. It had also been too late to stop by the market.
For that reason, this morning’s meal was also preserved food. The salty taste of the last remaining salted jerky struck the tip of my tongue.
“Blegh…….”
After finishing the preserved-food meal that would, for the time being, be the last of its kind, I immediately prepared to head out to the market.
The severe cold had not yet arrived in earnest, so the market would be lively, and there would surely be plenty of relatively fresh ingredients.
As a trade city formed along the coast, it would not be impossible to get fresh food even during the coldest season, but the prices would skyrocket.
I took my coin pouch and shouldered my backpack.
Wondering whether Cassian was awake, I lightly knocked on his door, and this time, a small voice came back.
When I slowly opened the door, I found Cassian still half-asleep, sitting on the bed with half of him still in a dream.
Considering I had worked him rather magnificently last night, perhaps it was only natural. His arm had been broken three times, but now he looked fine, so I was inwardly relieved.
Even when I asked if he wanted to stop, the sight of him continuing to come at me had been admirable, but I found myself reflecting a little on whether I had gone overboard.
“Master……?”
“Rest today. I’m going outside for a bit.”
“Mm…….”
Cassian answered as though he was not in his right mind, then soon began nodding off and toppled forward, falling asleep again just like that.
I lifted Cassian with telekinesis, laid him down properly, slowly closed the door, and went outside.
The moment I opened the door, I flinched and shivered at the cold that greeted me. But soon, the warmth I felt in my stomach drove away the chill and warmed me.
That did not mean the air was not cold, however, so I wrapped my coat tightly around myself and walked on.
The sky was somewhat dark. Beyond the thickly gathered dark clouds, glimpses of blue sky occasionally showed, but they were soon covered by clouds again.
“……It’s going to snow.”
Judging from the scale of the dark clouds and the season, it seemed as if it would be quite a heavy snow, too.
Normally, the market stayed open even when it snowed, but when heavy snow fell, it often effectively shut down.
I needed to go and return quickly before the snow started.
I hurried my steps and went out to the market. As expected of the period just before the severe cold fully arrived, crowds of people were coming and going.
In about ten days, it would be the sixteenth month, the last of the year, and then for about a month, even people of this era, accustomed to the cold as they were, would have to stay shut indoors if possible.
To avoid starving in the meantime, they would need to stockpile as much food and firewood as they could.
I did not need firewood, but I needed food just the same.
I busily moved through the market streets, buying up as much food as I could.
Meat that looked to be in good condition. They said it came from hunting an animal similar to a roe deer, and since it had a bloody color and looked fairly fresh, I bought it.
Fruits that could be stored frozen and eaten for three months. I mainly bought red and yellow fruits that did not contain too much juice.
Vegetables, which were a little expensive but could not be left out. Since it was winter, there were no fresh greens to be seen, but I swallowed my tears inwardly and paid.
The things produced nearby were expensive, and the things imported from far away were even more expensive, but after scattering more than half the money I had once again, I managed to buy what we needed.
This time, though I had come alone without Cassian, by stuffing things deep into the inside of my backpack, I somehow managed to fit enough food for about a month and a half.
Thanks to that, the weight of the straps pressing down on my shoulders was quite impressive.
Just as I thought I had bought everything I needed and was about to head back—
While I had set my bag down on the ground in a corner of the market and was checking the things I had bought one by one, I noticed a masked man in the distance running toward me.
As I was feeling something like déjà vu, recalling Eileen from not long ago, I sensed that the man’s gaze was fixed precisely on me.
I wondered if it was another pickpocket, but right now my coin pouch was tucked inside my clothes, so even if he wanted to steal it, he would not be able to.
And the moment the man passed by my side—
Tak!
“Huh?”
I was grabbed.
No, the moment he reached out, I did realize that his intention was to seize me, but I was so dumbfounded for an instant that my reaction was delayed.
The masked man grabbed me, snatched me up, tucked me under his arm as if carrying a sack, and continued running forward.
Behind us, I could see the bag full of ingredients growing farther away.
In a place with this many people, I did not want to use my power if possible.
Still, I had no choice, and just as I made up my mind to strike his head with magic and knock him unconscious—
Come to think of it, despite how suspicious he looked and despite the fact that he had suddenly kidnapped a little girl and was running away, no one in the market was paying any attention.
‘This is black magic.’
To encounter a black mage in such an unexpected place—if one called that luck, then it was luck.
Though the fact that we had met like this in the market was probably misfortune.
I placed, on the scales in my mind, the option of being kidnapped like this and finding out the black mage’s lair, and the bag filled with ingredients, and after agonizing over the perfectly balanced scales—
I steeled myself and chose to go crush the black mage’s lair.
Haah.
A single snowflake falling on my cheek seemed to express my feelings in my place.
◇
Cassian finally woke only when the sun was around the middle of the sky.
That was the time, at least; outside, snow had begun falling in earnest at some point and was starting to pile up little by little.
Yesterday’s training had been hellish. It was training where he stuffed his backpack full of dirt to add weight, then attacked his master.
At the time, perhaps because of his excitement, he had not even realized his arm was broken, but afterward, he had regretted it almost to the point of death. His master, too, had worn an expression that seemed a little apologetic, unlike usual.
‘……Maybe I should ask Master to cook for me for the first time in a while.’
Cassian thought of his master’s cooking, though he could no longer remember when he had last eaten it.
Normally, she pushed it onto Cassian because she found it bothersome, but once she did cook, the taste was fantastic.
As it happened, his master seemed to have gone to the market to buy ingredients, so it was perfect.
Cassian did not know when his master would return, but he thought he should read the book she had told him to read.
She would be back soon.
The snow kept falling. His master had not yet returned.
‘Did something happen?’
It was something that happened from time to time, so Cassian paid it no mind.
The sky gradually darkened. There was still no sign of his master returning.
‘…….’
Cassian felt the slightest bit of unease, but he laughed it off, asking himself who he thought he was worrying about, and bluffed to himself.
The sunset came, and it became completely night.
His master did not return. At least in Cassian’s memory, it was the first time something like this had happened.
Even so, he could not imagine his master being defeated by anyone.
Cassian, who had been trying hard to deceive himself into thinking it was nothing, followed his thoughts as they spun around and around—until they reached the worst possible conclusion.
‘……She didn’t abandon me and leave, did she?’
Cassian felt cold sweat run down his back.
And after hesitating for only a moment at the cold outside—
Cassian grabbed his staff and, without even putting on a coat, rushed outside.