*Growl—*
Inside the grand infirmary of the ducal residence, where silence hung thick.
That vulgar sound echoing from my stomach was, mortifyingly, as clear as a bell tolling through a massive cathedral.
"……Hah."
Leaning back against the headboard for dear life, I wiped my dry face.
A full day had passed since I’d woken up after wandering between life and death, stabbed by the Dokdan Sword. My vitality was still precariously stuck in the single digits,
and my stomach was so empty from vomiting up the deadly poison that my gastric walls were practically sticking together.
But there was only one reason I couldn’t scream for food.
"Young Master, is there anything making you uncomfortable?"
Right beside the bed.
From the moment I’d opened my eyes until now, without leaving her seat for even a single second, it was because of that silver-haired, crazy knight sitting ramrod straight in a chair, staring holes into me.
Elara von Valerius.
Her gaze was tenacious. My chest heaving with every breath, the tips of my fingers idly fidgeting,
even the path of my throat bobbing as I swallowed. Her hollow silver-gray eyes gleamed as though observing, recording, and attempting to possess every biological rhythm of my body.
*I’m going crazy, seriously.*
I wanted to go to the bathroom, but she looked ready to follow and support me, so I was forcing myself to hold it.
Then, a merciless blue system window appeared before my eyes.
[Warning! Your body’s nutritional status is critical.]
[Due to massive energy consumption during the detoxification process, you are on the verge of ‘death by starvation (asa).’ If you do not consume food within 30 minutes, your vitality will decrease by 1%.]
*My vitality is at 8%, and it’s going to drop another 1%? Crazy system, are you trying to save me or kill me?!*
If I didn’t eat right now, I was going to starve to death.
I ignored Elara’s bizarre gaze with effort, mustering up the usual unpleasant tone of Kailan.
"Hey."
"Yes. Speak, my liege."
"……Since when am I your liege, you crazy bitch."
I reflexively cursed her out, then panicked and checked the system window. Fortunately, perhaps because it had been judged as villainous behavior, the [Curse of Karma] penalty did not activate.
Elara wasn’t hurt in the slightest by my cursing—rather, with faintly reddened cheeks, she smiled gently.
"No matter what anyone says, my life is yours. So, what do you need? Shall I cut down those obstructive curtains?
Or shall I rip out the tongues of the knights guarding the infirmary?"
"……Go pull out your own tongue. I’m hungry, so call someone and bring me food."
I waved my hand and turned my head away as if exhausted.
"Understood."
Fortunately, Elara obediently rose and left the infirmary.
*Whew, I’m alive.* I relaxed my shoulders, stiff with tension, in that brief window. Just having her out of sight felt like my lifespan had increased by ten years.
Not long after, the infirmary door opened with a cautious knock.
Mary, the young dedicated maid of the ducal household, entered carrying a large silver tray.
On the silver tray were freshly baked soft white bread, steaming abalone cream soup, and finely chopped steak.
When the fragrant smell of butter and meat assaulted my nose, saliva flooded my mouth like a waterfall.
"Y-Young Master. I’ve brought your meal…."
Knowing my usually ferocious temper, Mary trembled like an aspen leaf as she carefully set the tray on the side table beside the bed.
I wanted to bury my face in the soup bowl and lap it up like a dog right then, but I barely held onto my sanity.
*Calm down. Scarfing it down goes against a villainous noble’s dignity.*
Chin in hand, I tapped the silver tray with the most arrogant, displeased expression I could muster.
"Look at this mess. You brought me dog food and call it a meal? The duke’s cooks must have all gone collectively mad—"
*Shriek—!*
The very moment I was about to start nitpicking and lecturing the maid.
Elara, standing behind me, pulled the Imperial treasured sword from her waist without warning. A cold-blue Swordmaster’s blade aura cut through the air and touched Mary’s slender nape.
"Hiiik……!"
Mary’s legs gave out and she collapsed. The silver tray shook, spilling some soup.
"E-Elara…?"
I was so startled I nearly tumbled out of bed.
Elara’s silver-gray eyes regarded the collapsed maid on the floor with chilling killing intent.
"The Young Master called it ‘dog food.’ Daring to play tricks with my liege’s meal? Open your mouth right now.
Swallow this soup yourself and prove what poison you put in it, before I cut your throat."
"P-poison! I swear it’s not! The head chef used only the highest-grade ingredients for the Young Master’s recovery… Hic, please spare me!"
Mary began to wail, banging her head on the floor.
This was real. Not Mary’s cries—Elara’s eyes. That crazy woman was planning to cut off Mary’s head within a single second!
Because of her trauma from me being stabbed by the Dokdan Sword, Elara was currently treating everyone in this mansion as 'potential criminals trying to assassinate Kailan.'
*No! If an innocent maid dies here, the ducal household will be turned upside down, and instead of a peaceful recovery, I’ll be exhausted from investigations!*
[Warning! Your body’s nutritional status has reached its limit. Time remaining: 5 minutes!]
As if things weren’t bad enough, the malnutrition warning window flashed bright red.
If I didn’t eat immediately, I’d die; if I left this alone, the maid would die. I desperately wracked my brain to fabricate a 'villain’s justification.'
"Put that sword away right now."
Elara turned her head at my strained voice.
"But Young Master, this lowly thing may have poisoned your food…."
"Are you planning to fill my room with the smell of blood?"
I furrowed my brows irritably and roughly pulled the soup bowl on the table toward me.
"I’m already dying from pain, and now I have to smell a maid’s blood too? How unlucky—get rid of her. Whether it’s poisoned or not is something I’ll verify myself."
I’d spat those words out as rudely as possible.
At this level, it wouldn’t look like I was protecting Mary—it would look like I was kicking her out because she offended me.
At my words, Mary turned pale and fled the room like she was escaping, repeating "T-thank you, Young Master!" over and over.
The door slammed shut.
Only me, sweating cold sweat, and Elara standing there with her sword sheathed, remained in the room.
"Huu…."
I let out a small sigh and gripped the soup spoon with trembling hands. Time to eat.
That’s when it happened.
*Swoosh.*
Elara’s cold hand gently overlapped my right hand, which was holding the spoon.
"……What are you doing?"
Elara gave me a sad yet bizarre smile.
"You are truly cruel."
"What?"
"Once again, you grabbed at straws to save that lowly maid’s life.
And now, you are trying to swallow this soup that may contain poison all by yourself, just to reassure me."
*No! There’s no poison! I’m just really hungry, you lunatic!!*
My internal scream naturally didn’t reach her.
Elara snatched the spoon from my hand, scooped up a large spoonful of soup, and brought it to her own mouth without hesitation.
*Gulp.*
Elara swallowed the soup.
"Elara, you just…."
"……It’s safe. There is no poison."
She licked the cream from the corner of her mouth, gazing down at me with an enraptured expression.
"As expected, I am the only person in this world you can trust."
A perfect leap of logic. A perfect misunderstanding.
This woman was now convinced that I had kicked the maid out because I couldn’t trust her, and had appointed her to taste for poison.
"Now, say aah, Young Master."
Elara filled the spoon with warm soup and carefully brought it to my lips.
No matter how much of a villain I was, a grown man being fed like a baby bird—and by the heroine who had nearly killed me, no less—was a terrible humiliation play.
"P-put it away. I’ll eat with my own hands…."
[Warning! Time remaining: 30 seconds!]
[Vitality decrease commencing!]
"K-kuh……!"
The moment I tried to refuse, a sudden stabbing hunger and pain in my solar plexus made me curl up. The system had moved beyond warnings and begun inflicting physical blows.
"Young Master!!"
Elara urgently slid her hand behind my back and supported my upper body. The smooth, cold sensation of her armor touched my spine.
"Please don’t be stubborn. Harm to your precious body is the same as my world collapsing. Please, allow me to care for you."
Her voice was desperate, but the hand pushing the soup was forceful.
I wavered between shame and pain, but ultimately surrendered to my selfish survival instinct.
"……Insolent wench. The soup is too hot."
I made the most disgruntled expression I could and closed my mouth around the spoon she offered.
As the warm, savory soup traveled down my esophagus, the terrible pain began to subside like a lie.
[Status: Nutrients consumed. Vitality decrease penalty halted.]
I survived.
Eyes lowered, I continued to receive and gulp down the soup. Too weak to chew, I used my tongue to roll the finely cut steak pieces she offered and swallowed them.
"……Keke."
Then, a low laugh tickled my ear.
When I glanced up, Elara’s expression was not the frigid Swordmaster I knew.
Watching me swallow food from her hand, her silver-gray eyes flickered frighteningly with sticky possessiveness and a desire to conquer.
Her finger gently wiped away the soup broth that had spilled at the corner of my mouth.
"Well done. From now on, I will personally verify every meal the Young Master eats, and feed you with my own hands."
"……Stop spouting nonsense. I’m not a child."
"Your body is no longer yours alone. Because it is a life I saved."
A chill ran down my spine at her whisper.
At this rate, I might become a pig in a pen, tied to the bed for life and being fed by that woman.
I had to find some way to cut off this woman’s obsession, or prove that I could move on my own.
Right then.
"Young Master Kailan. I heard you had awakened."
The infirmary door clattered open, and Bayern, the commander of the 1st Knight Division and a close confidant of Duke Rothschild, entered with heavy clanking armor.
Behind him stood knights of the ducal household with rough appearances.
"His Grace the Duke summons you. He wishes to interrogate you personally regarding the mastermind behind the banquet hall assassination attempt…."
Before Bayern could even finish speaking.
*Shing—!*
Elara, who had been feeding me soup, spun around with beast-like speed and drew the treasured sword she had placed on the floor.
A cold-blue Swordmaster’s Aura swept through the infirmary like a storm.
"Who said you could."
Elara’s voice was not that of the desperate woman who had been feeding me soup just moments ago.
It was the killing intent of a perfect predator, declaring she would tear apart any enemy who invaded her territory.
"Young Master Kailan cannot leave this room, not even a single step. Even if it is by command of your liege, the Duke."
"K-Knight Elara! What are you doing! We come by His Grace the Duke’s command…."
"If you wish to see the Young Master, deliver a message to the Duke to crawl here on all fours."
Elara pointed her blade at Bayern’s neck and smiled wickedly.
"Anyone who touches so much as a single hair on Young Master Kailan without my permission—whoever they are—I’ll turn them into chunks of meat."
Lying in bed listening to that insane declaration, I squeezed my eyes shut in despair.
*No, you crazy bitch!! The Duke is one of the strongest beings in the original story—you don’t mess with him!! If you draw aggro there, my life will be in even more danger!!!*
Her noble obsession with protecting me was now turning the entire ducal household into enemies and tightening the noose around my lifeline in real-time.
My peaceful convalescence was completely over.
The hell of a misunderstanding harem had thrown open its doors in earnest.