Even after dawn had passed and the sun had fully risen into the sky, Lea could not raise herself.
The body that had been beaten by the baroness was utterly spent; though she was conscious, she could not move at all.
The eyes that had wept so bitterly were swollen shut and would barely open.
A stinging pain seeped into every wound.
But the place that hurt most of all was her heart.
“Why… did I call her Mother…?”
The baroness was one thing, but from the beginning, there had been no one in Lea’s life she could call a parent.
Her parents had taught her letters when she was very young, and once she knew how to read and write, they sold her to a passing knight.
That knight’s surname was Virensha.
A knight from Virensha, a backwater among backwaters.
He had been Earei’s first master.
The man, who found fault with her day in and day out and beat her for it, once taught Earei a little swordsmanship after she failed to carry out an errand because others had beaten her, meaning that no squire of his should go anywhere and be looked down upon.
There had been no praise at all.
Since he demonstrated against her directly, if she did not keep her eyes wide open, dodge, and learn the path of the sword, she would have been dead on the spot.
Compared to that, the teachings of the baron and his wife had been strict and painful, but they had praised her.
Earei had begun receiving praise for her usefulness only after she had been completed as a tool of war.
But Learie had been praised while being raised simply as a woman.
Or so she had thought.
In truth, even becoming a woman had been for the sake of tempering her into their tool, and when she realized that, she felt betrayal and disappointment.
Even as she blamed herself as an irredeemable fool for having rejoiced at the baron and baroness’s praise and obeyed them, she could not stop resenting them either.
Ah, the tears were falling again.
The places where her tears passed felt hot and raw.
She wished someone would comfort her like this.
She wished so desperately that person were Seorin.
Knowing that would never happen, Lea gave a self-mocking smile.
She loved her, but she had become someone she must not love.
That was not necessarily because Lea had become a woman; perhaps from the moment Seorin became queen—no, perhaps even from the very first moment they met—it had been a fate that could never be.
Lea could no longer tell whether this feeling she had for Seorin was truly love or lingering attachment.
“I’m lonely….”
Loneliness sometimes carved into the heart hot and heavy, and sometimes cold and sharp.
It hurt more than any other pain, and even when she spoke it aloud, it did not subside.
When the aching sensation loneliness brought grew just the slightest bit numb, Earei and Learie had always thought this.
Wouldn’t it be better to die?
If I died, wouldn’t the people who knew me grieve for me, even a little?
If I live wretchedly and receive no attention or love, wouldn’t it be better to die and depart with even a handful of pity?
“I’m sorry, Charten… When your child was born, I was supposed to become their godfather….”
Lea judged that it was right to end things here.
It was not that she was weak.
Originally, when a soul was torn apart, nine out of ten died from the shock in that instant, while the remaining one lived on as a walking corpse before turning their back on life.
Because she had desperate yearning and deprivation, because she had been born with a capable body, she had managed to move and endure like this with only a quarter of her soul remaining.
A soul without will would not endure long before vanishing.
Hope was as thin as a thread, and hatred was immense.
And yet, throughout her life, Lea had paid the price for everything, but had never once received a reward.
If there was one, it was her marriage to Seorin, but that had been a gateway heralding the beginning of another misfortune.
“It’s so empty….”
And yet why, on one hand, did the rest that was to come feel so very warm?
Her swollen eyelids tried to close carefully.
Bang!
Out of nowhere, the baroness entered.
“…….”
Without a word, she examined Lea’s body as she lay face down.
At that blatant gaze, Lea deliberately shut her eyes even tighter.
She had wanted to go in peace at the end without being disturbed, but with the baroness entering, she grew tense and found herself clinging all the more to consciousness.
Meanwhile, after checking Lea’s wounds, the baroness dragged over a chair and sat before the bed.
Pop. She opened the lid of an ointment jar, scooped up a generous amount with her finger, and spread it over the various wounds.
“Hk!”
At the stinging of the wounds themselves and the ointment, Lea let out a harsh breath without realizing it.
The wounds were concentrated mostly on her shoulders, back, and the backs of her calves.
The baroness regretted losing her reason to anger and whipping her blindly.
But if she returned to that moment, she could not guarantee that she would be able to restrain her rage.
“You wicked thing.”
“…….”
Afraid that the beating might start again, Lea grew even tenser.
But the baroness’s tone was calm.
“If you want to be loved, if there is someone you want to be loved by, then you must think and move for yourself.”
She applied medicine to the long wound on Lea’s calf.
A scab had already formed over the wound.
“No one can take your place. Everyone is unique, which means you must decide for yourself what you want to do and how you will do it, then put it into practice.”
Her finger traveled upward along the long mark that reached to just beneath Lea’s buttocks.
“But accepting another’s advice is also one method you can choose.”
Instinctively, Lea tightened her buttocks and shrank back.
There was no way the baroness failed to notice that movement.
“We will certainly raise a rebellion. Whether it succeeds or fails, we will.”
Her tone remained calm, but the way she pressed the flesh under Lea’s buttocks was burdensome.
“Even so, the core of the plan is to put you, who have become a lady, at the forefront and gather a base of support. That is all. It is a very flimsy plan, one entrusted to the will of God.”
The hand applying the medicine remained careful.
“You may choose.”
Strangely, the ointment dried quickly.
“You may choose to whom you will make the nobles and notables owe debts, and in whose name those debts will be recorded.”
The baroness spread the ointment generously over the dried wounds again and again.
“If it is for the queen, place the debts in the name of Seorin Lionera. If your heart changes, place them in the name of Yurien Lionera.”
The stinging gradually lessened, and a cool sensation rose in its place.
“That is all I can say to you.”
Until the ointment ran out, the baroness tended to her wounds over and over.
For some reason, Lea shed tears different from the ones before.
“So long as you are alive, opportunity will come. The same is true for us. Though we support Yurien Lionera, we do not care about the result, so long as we can inflict as much pain as possible upon our enemies for our son’s revenge.”
They were the same tears, but the places they passed no longer stung.
“Rest. There is nothing more to teach you. Focus on recovering.”
When the baroness took hold of the doorknob, Lea whispered quietly yet clearly.
“I’m sorry….”
“…You wicked thing.”
When she opened the door, Yuri came in and climbed onto the bed.
Seeing the now larger puppy squeeze into the spot beside Lea and lie down, the baroness and the baron silently went off to do their respective work.
“In the end, was it hope that kept her alive?”
“For now, yes, but later it may truly become hatred.”
“What makes you think so, my lady?”
“Because love that is not repaid may turn into hatred, or it may turn into hollow despair.”
The baroness threw the empty ointment jar into the trash.
“Anything that is given and not received in return is bound to run dry.”
Yurien, who happened to be visiting, sat alone in the reception room and quietly sank into thought as he listened to the conversation between the two echo through the residence.
--
The time had come.
“What is your name?”
“My name is Learie Virensha.”
“From now on, I will tell you about the person you will show to the world.”
Yurien and the Baron and Baroness Bashport made their final preparations with Lea, who wore a plain black dress.
Without even looking at the prepared profile, the baron fluently recited her background.
“You are Learie Virensha, the younger sister of Earei Virensha.”
“Yes.”
“Since ancient times, the Virensha clan has lived on the kingdom’s frontier and, in preparation for times of great crisis, has prepared a commander of exceptional talent in each generation. Then, when the Tyrant of Half a Year drove Levantort into crisis, the clan sent the great commander of this generation, Earei Virensha, to aid the queen.”
“…….”
“After the restoration succeeded, Earei Virensha went missing. Despite being the queen’s husband.”
“…….”
Lea did not bother answering.
She merely repeated the background the baron told her in her mind, trying to memorize it.
“The kingdom’s crisis remains. The people are merely not dead; they are growing exhausted from hunger. Efalencia to the north and the Hagonin League to the south are watching for an opportunity to seize the kingdom. Therefore, the Virensha clan sent Learie Virensha, the next talent after Earei. To overcome the kingdom’s crisis, Learie Virensha will debut at the academy, the world of society, under the protection of the king’s brother, Yurien Lionera, and seek to unite the nobles as one.”
“…….”
Under the protection of Yurien Lionera.
Contained within that was also the meaning that the Virensha clan did not necessarily move for Seorin Lionera.
“You cannot reveal the name of Virensha carelessly. Lea, until the necessary time comes, you will debut in society as Learie Bashport.”
“I understand.”
Learie Bashport.
For some reason, it was a surname that felt warmer and more reassuring than Virensha.
“Go. Bashport’s infamy is great, so we cannot personally take you to society. Our comrade, Viscountess Nerasmun, will accompany you.”
“I will never do anything that would bring dishonor upon the family name.”
The baron desperately suppressed the smile that nearly formed at Lea’s words.
“Is there anything you are curious about?”
“When will I reveal that I am a Virensha? And when I reveal that I am a Virensha, people will surely ask about Earei’s whereabouts. What should I answer?”
The one who answered that question was not the baron, but Yurien.
“You will know for yourself when that time comes. And you, too, may decide Earei Virensha’s whereabouts and whether she lives or dies.”
“What do you mean by that…?”
“Do not think of it as difficult. I simply hope you will make a choice you do not regret.”
At those unexpected words, Lea’s eyes widened.
If he was planning a rebellion, she had been certain he would force her to choose him.
The baron urged Lea on.
“If you are ready, let us depart.”
“Just a moment.”
Lea hurriedly handed the handkerchiefs she had prepared to the baron and his wife.
Embroidered on the handkerchiefs were purple monkshood flowers.
The baroness stared silently at the handkerchief, then finally accepted it.
“Call me Mother. It may be a disguise, but to the world, you will be known as my daughter.”
“…….”
Lea’s eyes reddened.
“Mother, Father. Please stay healthy.”
The mansion door opened.
Viscountess Nerasmun, with dark brown hair, was waiting for Lea with a carriage.
“I will see you in society.”
Deliberately ignoring Yurien’s farewell, Lea climbed into the carriage.
When the king’s brother nodded, the coachman took up the reins.
“Hyah!”
As the carriage moved farther away, the baron and his wife quietly took out Lea’s gift and looked at it.
“…How lovely.”
Without a doubt, the baron and his wife had never seen such beautiful monkshood flowers.