Two more days passed after Eilenna created her dark history.
Which meant, roughly… it had been about ten days since I came to Noirudel.
Wow, I’d already been here ten days?
‘No, wait. Is “already” the right word?’
Now that I thought about it, I had spent every day making something and running all over the place.
After discovering tomatoes, I made pizza,
then made meals for the mansion to open the elves’ eyes,
toured the brewery… and made tarts, too.
I’d been fairly busy, so it made sense that time felt like it had flown by.
Beila and Seiran had been knights of the Sildiel family to begin with, so they were busy carrying out their duties.
As for Eilenna, I hadn’t really seen her since she made a spectacle of herself with that hangover.
Rather than saying I couldn’t see her, it was more that I no longer had any reason to go to the brewery… so I hadn’t.
Lately, Iseria had been busy as well.
She was working as an elf cooking apprentice, preparing breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
I hoped the apprentices’ skills had improved a little more today.
That way, I could leave with peace of mind.
It had only been a few days since I started giving cooking lessons.
Cooking was easy when it was easy, but the difficult parts required steady training to build up one’s senses.
In that sense, perhaps it was greedy of me to hope the elves’ cooking skills would improve rapidly.
Even so, I hurried them along.
‘I feel like… I shouldn’t stay any longer.’
The elves’ cooking lessons were being held at the Sildiel family’s—that is, Elioren’s—mansion.
When I received Elioren’s permission, I had said this.
“I want to make it so the elves can cook delicious food even after I’m gone.”
“Even if you leave… Lord Jinwoo?”
“Yes. I need to teach them how to catch fish.”
“…Understood. Do as you wish.”
Elioren granted my request in a slightly gloomy tone.
And from then on, he began making all sorts of offers to me.
“Lord Jinwoo, is your room not too cramped and uncomfortable?”
“Huh? No. It’s more than comfortable enough.”
“If it is all right with you, Lord Jinwoo, I have prepared a house in a fine location…”
“Oh, come on. I’m leaving soon anyway.”
“Haha, who knows?”
I was living perfectly comfortably, yet he tried to give me an entire house.
“Lord Jinwoo, it seems you can handle spirits. Am I correct?”
“Yes. I’m only a beginner, but I can communicate with them.”
“Then… how about forming a contract with a native spirit?”
“Uh… a contract is a bit…”
He even tried to arrange a contract for me with something called a “native spirit,” a concept I had never heard of before.
To be honest, I didn’t even know what kind of spirit it was, but the word “contract” gave me a bad feeling, so I declined.
When I asked Iseria about it later,
she said native spirits were spirits that had lived for a very long time in the land where they were born.
Apparently, even intermediate spirits—and even high-ranking spirits—had difficulty exerting their power within a native spirit’s territory.
“What? Then doesn’t that mean native spirits are the strongest?”
“In exchange, native spirits and their contractors can’t leave that land.”
“Gasp.”
I nearly ended up bound to Noirudel for the rest of my life, doing nothing but cooking.
I might even have been forced to change my name from Kang Jinwoo to something elven-sounding like Kang Jinwooriel or Kang Jinwooren.
Aside from that series of incidents, there had been many suspiciously attractive offers.
Being taken to the brewery was probably one of them.
There had been none of the physical coercion like when Iseria kidnapped me.
It seemed Elioren wanted to capture my heart first and make me stay in Noirudel.
‘I’m absolutely running away.’
But I would never let that happen.
The place I belonged was always my peaceful restaurant.
A place where the residents of Silvaerin occasionally visited, and travelers filled their stomachs before leaving.
I might go on a trip once in a while, but my home would never change.
It had been that way until now, and it would remain that way in the future.
Grrrooowl—
As I lay around in my room and leisurely sorted out my thoughts,
my stomach noisily announced that lunchtime was approaching.
There was still some time before the mansion’s elf servants had lunch, but perhaps it was because I’d eaten breakfast early.
‘I should head down soon.’
I got up from the bed and headed for the kitchen.
They had prepared breakfast decently enough, so I’m sure lunch was going well too, right?
Ah, maybe I should sneak over.
Sasasak—
Naturally, there was no way a middle-aged man who couldn’t even use magic without the status window could use something like stealth magic.
I walked down the corridor with the covert footwork I had been scolded about endlessly in the army.
So the instructors and seniors had chewed me out so much for making loud footsteps for this very moment.
‘I’m not exactly grateful…’
And so, I arrived at the dining hall as quietly as I could.
I didn’t go inside, but found an angle from outside where I could see the kitchen and observed.
Today’s menu was aglio e olio and eggplant-zucchini pizza.
Aglio e olio was a pasta dish famous even in Korea and popular among people living alone.
Easy to make, tasty, and cheap. In many ways, it was a perfectly well-rounded dish for cooking on your own.
Compared to that, the latter, eggplant-zucchini pizza, might be a bit unfamiliar.
It was a Neapolitan-style pizza baked with fresh eggplant and zucchini, along with a little tomato sauce.
When you ate a slice of pizza made only with ingredients in season during summer,
the fresh, green energy seemed to revive your body.
Of course, it wasn’t summer right now.
‘All hail the World Tree.’
It truly was an incredibly convenient environment for cooking.
Watching from afar, I saw the elves preparing the ingredients for the dishes they were each in charge of.
Iseria was thinly slicing eggplant and zucchini. Another elf was flattening the pizza dough…
‘They’re doing pretty well.’
Just as I thought that and was about to enter the dining hall,
the elves in charge of the aglio e olio began chatting among themselves.
“Hmm… were we supposed to remove the garlic sprouts?”
“I don’t really remember… Let’s just make it! It’s a hassle!”
“True. What could possibly change just because we skipped that one thing?”
Elhaha—!
The elf-brats giggled and changed the recipe however they liked.
It was my fault for trusting them, even for a moment.
Just in case, I continued my stakeout.
“Olive oil! Where did the oil the Chef left us go?”
“Gasp. Earlier, when we were baking bread and eating it, it was so tasty that I think we used too much.”
“Hmm… Then I guess we’ll just mix in some regular oil!”
Elhaha—!
The elf in charge of the aglio e olio began frying garlic with the sprouts still attached in pseudo-olive oil.
‘Hoo… hoo…’
A thousand flames began boiling up from deep within my dantian.
These… these outrageous, insolent pointy-eared bastards. Just because the chef isn’t here, they cook however they want?
I was one step away from exploding.
Like a cup filled to the brim, barely holding together through surface tension, rage filled my head to the bursting point.
And then came the innocent conversation of the elf-brats in charge of the pizza.
“Is there any law saying we can’t put fruit on eggplant-zucchini pizza?”
“Ooh, I think that’s a great idea! How about adding mint while we’re at it?”
“That sounds good!”
At last, my patience reached its limit and burst.
“EVERYONE, FREEZE RIIIIIIGHT NOW!!!!!!”
“Hieeek!”
“It’s the Che-Chef!”
Bang—
Bang bang—!
As if representing my turbulent emotions, loud footsteps rang through the dining hall.
The elves who had been cooking however they pleased were so startled that their ears shot straight up.
Even Iseria, who had been obediently preparing ingredients, went wide-eyed at my shout.
Whooosh—!
First, I approached the elf who had been using garlic without removing the sprout.
Close enough that I could reach if I extended my arm.
Then I stepped even closer, close enough that merely stretching out my hand would touch him.
At last, with a menacing glare, I came face-to-face with Elf-Brat No. 1.
So close that we could feel each other’s breathing.
“Hey, No. 1.”
“……”
“Answer me.”
“Y-Yes! Chef!”
“Did I tell you to remove the garlic sprout, or did I not?”
Elf-Brat No. 1 rolled his eyes as he searched through his memory.
I said nothing and simply glared at him.
“Y-You did!”
“Why? Why do you have to remove it?”
“Th-That’s… I don’t really remember.”
“Silence!!!!!”
“Hieeeek!!”
I shouted right in No. 1’s face.
The elf clutched his pointed ears at the loud voice.
Haa… even the sight of that annoyed me. I couldn’t hold back any longer.
“Elkiyaaak! What are you grabbing right now?!”
“These ears!! These uselessly long ears that don’t even listen properly are the problem!!!!”
“Hieeeek!!”
Streeeetch—!
Streeeetch—!
I poured my heart into it as I yanked hard on No. 1’s pointed ears.
They were already long to begin with, and since they stretched so well, elf ears were like toys.
Tears welled up in Elf-Brat No. 1’s eyes.
“Why!! Why do we have to remove them?!”
“I told you the sprout and the garlic cook at different speeds, so the sprout burns!!! If aglio e olio tastes burnt, it’s over. Over!”
“Ah, right.”
“The thing that’s about to be right is you getting hit!”
“Ugegh.”
Whoosh—!
After grabbing and pulling No. 1’s ears with both hands, I flung him away.
Following the motion, Elf No. 1 flopped onto the floor.
“Next. The one who used up all the olive oil. Step forward.”
“Y-Yes. Chef!”
“If you’re short, you should come to me and ask for more. You mixed in another oil however you liked? Is this the corner of your house? This is a kitchen, a kitchen!!!”
“Hiiik…!”
Elf-Brat No. 2 had not even considered replenishing the insufficient olive oil and had arbitrarily mixed in another oil.
Even if the resulting aroma wasn’t necessarily bad, a recipe was a recipe.
It was an efficient method that had been standardized after every optimization in a professional kitchen.
Going against it without a valid reason was the same as destroying the kitchen’s entire system.
“If you’re going to do whatever you want, take off your apron and get out right now!!!!!”
“Ugh. I-I’m sorry, Chef…!”
I had wiped out Elf-Brats No. 1 and No. 2 in one go, but my anger showed no sign of cooling.
With my eyes on the verge of rolling back, I glared at the final sinner.
“H-Hieeek! I’m sorry, Chef!!”
“You’re the same. Got it? Have you ever thought about why recipes exist? If not, then how are you any different from that tree standing tall out there getting beaten endlessly, whether it snows or rains? Huh?!!!”
“Hiiik…”
“Graaah. This is driving me insane… I’m going to lose my mind. And fruit on pizza? Mint? You pretended to be one of those pointy-eared bastards, but you’re not an elf, are you? Aren’t you a devil worshiper?”
“H-How could you say such a thing…”
Even apologizing first was no use.
‘Your company commander is extremely disappointed in you.’
Except for special occasions, I observed the preparation of breakfast and dinner every day.
As for lunch, there were times when I had my own schedule, and I trusted them to do well on their own, so I hadn’t checked…
They must have realized that lunch prep was the only time I didn’t observe them and made this complete mess.
All while pretending to do things properly during breakfast and dinner when I was watching.
An indescribable sense of disappointment and betrayal surged over me.
I felt even more betrayed than when Iseria drugged me, put me to sleep, and kidnapped me.
Ah, what about Iseria? Was she doing well?
The elves whose souls I had thoroughly wrung out were, in order, No. 1, No. 2, and No. 3.
I hadn’t ordered them to, but they had formed a line on their own and stood at attention.
Iseria, who had been preparing ingredients, had frozen in place and was looking at me.
Step— step—
I walked toward Iseria.
With each step I took closer, she squeezed her eyes shut and shuddered with tension.
‘Hmm… this isn’t bad.’
Rustle—
I checked the eggplant and zucchini Iseria had sliced into rounds.
If they were too thick, they wouldn’t cook properly, and if they were too thin, the texture itself would disappear, so the right thickness was important.
They had been cut to an appropriate size, with no pieces awkwardly still attached at the end.
Honestly, this deserved praise.
Some might say, “Didn’t she just do some simple knife work?” but it was a little different.
In any case, Iseria had clearly carried out the order I, the head chef, had given her.
Cooking involved handling hot fire and sharp knives, always working close to danger.
And kitchen work meant doing that not alone, but with several people in a limited space.
Inevitably, shouts had no choice but to fly back and forth, and what reduced that even a little was trust.
A subordinate, or a colleague, who carried out the task I assigned precisely.
As those things piled up, a bond was born where everyone worked together in perfect sync.
“Iseria.”
“Eek, yes, Chef!”
“Well done. The thickness is just right, and there are no pieces stuck together.”
“Uh… yes! Thank you, Chef!”
Perhaps she thought she was about to be scolded, because Iseria flinched and shrank back when I called her name.
But at the words of praise that followed, she stared blankly for a moment before immediately expressing her thanks.
“Uuuugh.”
“We… worked hard too…”
When I praised Iseria, the hopeless trio beside us let out groans.
I should set them straight properly while I was at it.
I let out a deep sigh and spoke.
“I, Kang Jinwoo, am extremely disappointed in all of you.”
“Gasp.”
“Hieeek. Somehow, that sounds like it’s going to become trauma…”
I stopped speaking until the murmuring apprentice elves quieted down.
Perhaps they had some sense, because when I shut my mouth, the elves lowered their voices on their own.
“Were you all dragged here? Didn’t you volunteer because you wanted to cook delicious food for the elves you love? Because you wanted to become good at cooking?”
“Th-That’s right…”
“Then look at your attitude right now. Is that the attitude of people who want to work hard on their own?”
“……”
Slowly, I met each of their eyes one by one.
Their gazes had become clear because they were being scolded now, but they were obviously going to slacken again soon.
Therefore, I declared.
“I will make you into real chefs.”
Hell’s Kitchen.
No,
Elf’s Kitchen had begun.