Passing through the gate, beyond it was finally the desert.
The vast earth covered in sand stretched across their field of vision, and in the distance, the horizon met the sky.
Following the convoy northward, rocky mountains rose around them and the road was barren.
Lips cracked in the dry wind and sand burrowed between the folds of their clothes.
The road was too rough to pull carriages, so Cheongdam rode a horse like the others.
But the cold wind was fierce and the horse shook incessantly, so she struggled greatly.
Ogyo was also on edge, worried Cheongdam might come down with a fever.
She thought it would be better if she carried Cheongdam as before, and told her so; the two dismounted and walked at the rear.
"Sister Gyo, you must be tired too."
"Not at all."
Upon leaving the gate, Ogyo changed back into plain clothes.
Erasing her makeup revealed the scar on her face, but no one seemed to recognize her anyway.
"Shall we walk slowly? Do your joints still hurt?"
Living together, Ogyo had learned of the disease Cheongdam suffered from.
It was an unfamiliar illness to Ogyo.
A disease where energy constantly circulated and devoured the body on its own, without needing to deliberately adjust its flow through breathing.
Could something like ki truly become poison depending on the person?
No matter how beneficial a medicine, in excess it becomes poison.
Conversely, even fatal poison can become medicine depending on its use.
A truth she had realized some time ago.
Traveling for half a day, the group arrived at a small village in a canyon.
A military camp was visible in the distance, and several soldiers had come out at the entrance to greet the convoy.
"S-Sister-in-law."
Saun, who was riding a horse, called out urgently with a wave.
He was telling them to look ahead.
Cheongdam glanced at the people standing near the entrance, then suddenly gasped and grabbed Ogyo's sleeve tightly.
There was one man who stood out remarkably for his tall stature and impressive build.
The armor he wore was different, as though he were the commander here.
"Sister Gyo, please put me down."
Puzzled, Ogyo did as Cheongdam said.
The moment Cheongdam's feet touched the ground, she ran past the convoy.
Sand flew with every footstep she took.
Under a sunset like blood, Cheongdam ran without stopping and threw herself into the man's arms.
The man deliberately stepped back to receive her so she wouldn't hurt herself colliding with his armor.
"Taeun, you really were alive, you…."
"……Cheongdam."
Im Taeun stroked the back of Cheongdam in his embrace in a daze, then raised his head.
Seeing Saun approaching, his eyes grew even wider.
"Saun, even you……. What happened? To think you'd come all the way to a battlefield like this."
"F-From afar, there was no way to know if you were alive or dead, so what choice did I have but to come find you?"
At those words, Taeun's expression darkened.
Cheongdam sobbed and beat on Taeun's armor with her fists.
"You fool, pretending to be dead……. Your neck is perfectly attached to your body, yet you made your own wife a widow; what in the world are you thinking?"
"H-Hold on, don't make such a fuss. Everyone's watching."
"Is that what matters right now?"
As Cheongdam continued to cry and shout, Taeun faltered awkwardly.
The Great Crocodile Sword of the world was at a complete loss dealing with one woman, and the surrounding soldiers laughed as if they found the sight amusing.
In the end, Taeun took Cheongdam to a quiet place.
"Your health isn't even good; what possessed you to come all the way here?"
"So you do know my health isn't good?"
Cheongdam's joy at seeing Taeun lasted only a moment. Her expression quickly turned fierce.
For the past three years she had stayed up nights worrying for his safety, yet now that they met, he was disgustingly healthy.
And without even having a special reason, he had pretended to be dead and tormented people's hearts.
"I've never seen such an idiot in my life. How did I end up marrying the likes of you."
"Watch your mouth……. Why are you so fierce only to me? Treat me like you do others."
"Because you're an incomparable fool, that's why."
As though her anger had not subsided, Cheongdam struck Taeun's forearm again.
But his body was hard as rock, and only her own hand hurt.
Even as he was hit, Taeun smiled from beginning to end.
To harden his resolve, he had burned every letter from home, but in the end he was only human—he couldn't help but miss his family.
"I thought I would never see your face again."
"So you had no intention of returning until you died?"
"……Come closer. Let me see your face."
"What's so precious about it? You threw me in the back room and ran out of the house right after the wedding, after all."
Though her words were curt, when Taeun grabbed her wrist and pulled her close, Cheongdam remained meek.
He pressed his lips to her forehead and let out a sigh.
"Your body is cold. It must have been hard coming all this way."
"I almost died from the hardship."
"Yes, yes."
Taeun caressed his wife's hair and cheek as if to say she was lovely.
Though Cheongdam was still angry, his beloved touch melted her heart helplessly.
The two were so outstanding in appearance that neither lost to the other, and people always praised them as an immortal couple made for each other.
The husband was bright like the sun and the wife was beautiful like the moon; they were truly a match made in heaven.
"Taeun, let's go home."
At Cheongdam's words, Taeun embraced her more deeply without a word.
He patted his wife's shoulder for a long while as one would soothe a child, then finally spoke.
"I can't go now. You'll see once you enter, but the situation here is dire. We don't know when the enemy will attack again, so you mustn't stay long either."
"What does that have to do with you? It's not as if you need to stake your life on it. Since when were you a government soldier?"
Taeun gently placated Cheongdam, who was about to flare up again.
"Everyone is the same. Every soldier here has family, has a hometown. No one was born to be buried in the sand of some nameless land."
"That's your reason? So you intend to die with them?"
"Who said anything about dying? No one fights to die. But if we don't stop the foreign invaders, our land will eventually be ravaged and more lives will be lost."
Thousands of years of history proved Taeun's words.
People have ambition, and troubled times bring opportunity; the more chaotic a nation's interior became, the fiercer the enemies outside grew.
The Wanli Emperor was so focused on the new enemy growing in the north that he forgot the affairs of the western regions.
Moreover, he failed to properly manage state affairs, and the lives of the people were gradually growing harsher.
The fate of Great Ming was slowly declining, but few yet took this seriously.
"If the Hongwu Emperor had failed in his northern campaigns long ago, we would still be under barbarian rule. Protecting the nation is important."
"What does that matter to me? As long as there is peace, I don't care who rules the country."
"You……. You mustn't speak so carelessly. What if it reaches the ears of the authorities?"
"Who cares? Why should I fear those parasites who do nothing but collect taxes? And you call yourself one of the jianghu?"
Taeun gave a bitter smile and stroked Cheongdam's head to calm her.
This woman appeared frail and slender at a glance, but she had always possessed a spirit no less than that of men.
"In any case, the greater nation must be prioritized now, so I cannot return."
"Do you mean that?"
"Yes. Even if I return to the sect, what would I do?"
"You must succeed the sect leader, guide the disciples, and train in martial arts to elevate the sect's name."
"And then? Am I supposed to strut around before others calling myself a jianghu man, wasting time like an idler?"
Cheongdam glared at Taeun with fierce eyes.
"Yes, that would be enough."
"Hey…..."
"Because I'm going to die soon, aren't I?"
Taeun was rendered speechless by those abruptly thrown words.
"I have so little time left to spend with you; why did you abandon me to be in a place like this? Why do you try to give your life to strangers instead of spending it for me, your wife?"
This time, Taeun truly had no answer; he hung his head helplessly.
"I'm sorry."
"If you're sorry, come back with me."
"……I can't."
"You fool!"
Cheongdam, enraged, tried to slap her husband, but stopped in the end.
Instead, she began to shed tears.
In the end, that action hurt her husband even more.
Taeun spoke with an expression as though swallowing something bitter.
"Please understand. I don't want to become a shameful person. I learned martial arts not to haggle over profit and loss, nor to raise my own fame and honor. If I turn a blind eye to injustice and do not throw myself down for the people, I can no longer call myself a knight-errant."
"You don't have to be a knight-errant."
Taeun smiled faintly.
"It is not a matter of choosing to be one or not. A me who is not a knight-errant would never have been born into this world in the first place."
He caressed Cheongdam's cheek with a face that showed he had no right to do so.
"This is the only way I know how to live. I have done you wrong. Forget about me. Live the rest of your time for yourself."
Cheongdam's shoulders shook as she finally began to sob.
Taeun approached to comfort her, but Cheongdam pushed his hand away.
"What does it mean to live for myself? What am I supposed to do?"
Cheongdam shouted amid her sobs.
"I have nothing. All my family and relatives care about is the neidan inside my body. They don't show it outwardly, but inside they're all just waiting for me to die."
"That's……."
"I have no strength and no courage. Even though I've been treated like livestock my whole life, I never even thought of running away. This is the first time. I came all the way here with only one thought: to see you again before I die. And you're saying you don't even intend to watch me pass?"
"……."
"What makes you so great? Who are these people you're trying to protect? Are only those who fight on battlefields knights-errant and men of purpose?"
Cheongdam finally collapsed and fell at Taeun's feet.
"You're all I have, I'm pitiful and weak enough too; why won't you stay by my side……."
She knew her life was wretched.
But she did not complain easily.
Fortune and misfortune enter through the same gate, she believed; even such a life had a wall to lean against.
At a young age she had left home and entered an unfamiliar martial sect situated atop desolate rocky mountains.
Everything had been frightening and hateful, but two brothers melted young Cheongdam's heart.
The three became friends and always played together.
The two brothers always yielded everything to Cheongdam and never spared themselves if it was for her sake.
Because they knew her pitiful circumstances.
Spring comes even to the desert, and grass grows even in wastelands.
Because her life was short, she tried to cherish each day even more.
Because they were together, those days were all the more brilliant.
……When my hair first covered my forehead, together with you I plucked flowers and played before the gate.
You came galloping on a bamboo horse, and we circled the well, throwing green plums as we played.
At fourteen, I became your wife, yet was too shy to ever show my face.
Only at fifteen did I finally wish to be with you until we turned to dust and ash.
At sixteen, you left for far away, becoming a ghost in the cold sandstorm.
When will spring return to this lonely heart and make green leaves sprout?
"……I'm sorry."
Taeun muttered only that, looking into the empty air with hollow eyes.
Though the husband and wife cherished each other so deeply, the gap between them could never be narrowed.
*
Since night had fallen, the party borrowed an empty tent in the military camp and spent the night there.
But Cheongdam, as if she had nothing more to say, did not stay with her husband and went to bed early with Ogyo.
The next dawn, the three of them decided to leave with the returning escort.
Taeun approached his younger brother Saun and lightly tapped his shoulder.
“Take good care of Cheongdam.”
“……Brother, do you truly mean never to return?”
“I will return when the lands beyond the pass are at peace.”
It was an empty thing to say.
The foreign tribes had fought the Great Ming for hundreds of years, and this barren land had never once known peace.
“I understand. B-but please, do not ignore my letters anymore. Even if you do not return, there is no need for us to know nothing of each other.”
“Yes, that was foolish of me. From now on, I will send replies.”
Taeun tried to bid farewell to Cheongdam as well, but she turned her head away as if sulking.
He approached with a bitter smile.
“If you part with me wearing such a face, how will you ever close your eyes in peace?”
“I have no intention of closing my eyes in peace. I’ll die cursing you.”
“Keep your heart as lovely as your face. Even half as lovely would do.”
“Hmph.”
When Taeun drew Cheongdam into his arms, she tilted her head and leaned against his chest.
“In this life, I owe you a debt. In the next life, I’ll repay it twofold.”
“If there really is such a thing as a next life, I will never marry the likes of you again.”
“I wouldn’t dare hope for it. I’ll become your servant.”
“Who said I’d take you in……?”
The two remained like that for a long while before finally parting.
Lastly, Taeun approached Ogyo as well.
The two of them had already exchanged farewells the night before.
“Young hero, thank you for taking good care of my wife. I, Im, will regard you as my benefactor for the rest of my life.”
“……Do as you like.”
Ogyo stared up at Taeun’s face for a moment.
It was a handsome, open face, pleasantly tanned by the sun.
They look like a good couple.
Why is it that the two of them cannot be together?
To the wild dog, still immature in both human hearts and human bonds, it was a difficult thing to understand.
“Return safely.”
Seen off by Taeun, the three retraced the path by which they had come.
The wind that blew was still cold and dry.
As Dongbang Gyu had said, in the land of barbarians there were no flowers or grass, and so even when spring came, it did not feel like spring.
They crossed Jiayu Pass again and entered within the borders, but the three of them could find no path forward.
Cheongdam had grown markedly quieter and said nothing about where they should go.
But surely, she did not wish to return to Jeokhamun.
While passing through the narrow road, Cheongdam’s illness worsened abruptly.
They tried to bring down her fever with pills, but there was no improvement. Her body was burning hot, yet her hands and feet were strangely cold, and even to a layman her condition looked grave.
As they hurriedly searched for a place to rest, they found an abandoned temple on a slope of Mount Qilian and took shelter from the wind there.
They lit a fire and used the clothes they had gathered as bedding, laying Cheongdam atop them. She could only keep breathing in short, ragged gasps.
Both Ogyo and Saun could guess.
Her death was not far off.