“Let’s buy some beer.”
Before we went home, Gaeul suddenly suggested we buy beer.
“I think I’ll suffer from a hangover tomorrow.”
I tried to refuse, but seeing the resolute look in Gaeul’s eyes, I instinctively knew there was no avoiding this today.
The thought crossed my mind: Fine, if it’s Gaeul… maybe it’s okay to tell Gaeul.
In the end, we bought a few cans of beer from the convenience store and went into my studio apartment.
It was my familiar home, and yet today the air felt unusually heavy.
Gaeul washed her hands with the practiced ease of someone who used to come and go as if it were her own place, then plopped herself down right in the middle of my bed.
“Gaeul, what on earth are you trying to talk about?”
When I hurriedly asked her to get to the point, Gaeul put her index finger to her lips and shook her head.
“It’s not time yet. Drink this first.”
When I pulled the tab on the beer can Gaeul handed me, it let out a hiss.
Left with no choice, I lifted the can and gulped it down.
As the cold carbonation ran down my throat, my body, stiff with tension, felt like it loosened up a little.
Gaeul also downed her beer after me, then set the empty can down on the table with a loud clack.
“Yeonseo, did you notice anything while we were out today?”
“What do you mean? Notice what?”
“No, let’s just start from the beginning. That person, Seohui unni—how did you meet her? I know most of the people around you, but that unni was seriously a face I’d never seen before.”
Gaeul’s question was as sharp as an awl.
I fiddled with the beer can and hesitated for a moment.
I needed to sort out how much to say, and where to begin.
Soon, with a sigh, I slowly started telling her about the bar I had stumbled into yesterday after being abandoned beneath the cherry blossoms.
“She’s someone I met after going to a bar that night.”
“Really? Did you two just hit it off and drink together?”
“No… not exactly. She was the bartender.”
“A bartender?”
As if she hadn’t expected that, Gaeul’s voice rose a little.
“She listened to me and comforted me… and then I ran into her on the street the next day, so we got closer.”
“So that’s how it was…”
Gaeul struck a pose as if she were thinking for a moment, then threw out a question that struck right at the heart of it.
“Was there anything strange that happened?”
“Well…”
Something strange. There definitely was. But when I actually tried to say it out loud, I hesitated even more than before.
There was no way Gaeul would miss the way my eyes were wavering all over the place.
“Looks like there was, judging by your face.”
Before I could say anything, Gaeul noticed it like a ghost.
“No, it’s just kind of hard to say…”
“Forget it. If it’s too hard, don’t tell me. What, did I come here to interrogate you? I’m just curious.”
Gaeul casually drank her beer, but somehow, that only made me feel more pressed.
If I kept holding this heavy secret all by myself, it felt like my head would burst.
I took a big swig of beer and squeezed my eyes shut.
“Actually… after I got drunk at the bar yesterday, I remembered everything…”
“And?”
“Unni confessed to me. And… she even kissed me.”
“……!!!”
Gaeul nearly dropped the beer can she was holding and gaped at me.
On Gaeul’s face, which had been full of obvious shock, a strange smile slowly began to spread.
Before Gaeul could imagine anything weird, I waved my hands and shouted.
“Hey! Don’t misunderstand! I don’t like Seohui unni in a romantic way! She’s just an unni I’m grateful to!”
“I know, I know. With your personality, there’s no way you’d go, ‘I like you too!’ and throw yourself at her.”
Gaeul let out a big breath and snickered.
“Wow, that’s seriously insane. It was only my guess, but I can’t believe it was true.”
“Guess? How did you know that?”
“Idiot, didn’t you see the way Seohui unni looked at you today? Even when we were at the claw machine, she kept checking your mood, and she subtly took extra care of only you… I was getting secondhand butterflies just watching from the side.”
Gaeul fiddled with her crushed beer can and scooted closer to me.
“But Yeonseo. If unni is charging straight ahead that openly, do you really feel nothing?”
“I don’t know… isn’t it kind of weird between girls? I’ve never even thought about it before.”
At my answer, Gaeul shrugged and took a sip of beer.
“What’s weird about it? In this day and age, as long as your hearts match, that’s enough. So what do you really feel?”
“…I don’t know either. Everything is just so confusing.”
The moment I gave an answer as hazy as fog—
Gaeul suddenly grabbed my face and kissed me.
“…?!”
At what happened in an instant, my eyes flew open and I shoved Gaeul away.
But it was strange. Our lips had definitely touched, yet far from the unreal trembling I had felt with Seohui unni, all I felt was bewildered and dumbfounded.
“Hey! Are you crazy? What are you doing all of a sudden?”
Even at my shout, Gaeul calmly wiped her lips and stared straight at me.
“Does what I just did feel different from what you did with that unni yesterday?”
“…Huh?”
“I’m asking if it felt different.”
I blankly touched my lips. It was definitely different.
My contact with Gaeul had only felt like skin touching skin.
“It definitely did feel different… but isn’t that because I was drunker back then…”
Watching me trail off, Gaeul let out a long sigh.
“Phew… it’s still hard to decide for sure. But Yeonseo, I don’t think you’re completely without feelings. Think about it properly. From what I can see, that person Seohui seems really decent.”
Gaeul’s voice rang through the room, more serious than usual.
Instead of answering, I lowered my gaze and stared only at the cold floor.
Do I really feel romantic feelings for Seohui unni? No, there’s no way.
I repeated it to myself as if putting myself under hypnosis, but one corner of my heart kept itching.
My values were still stopped before the barrier called same-sex romance, and I tried desperately not to acknowledge this unfamiliar feeling.
“Gaeul, then what should I do from now on….”
Feeling suffocated, I lifted my head to ask for advice, but no answer came back.
Before I knew it, Gaeul had her back against the wall, her head drooping as she had fallen into a deep sleep.
“…Hey, Park Gaeul? Are you asleep?”
I was so dumbfounded that a hollow laugh escaped me.
She had been giving me love advice with the utmost seriousness just moments ago, so how on earth could she fall asleep this quickly in a situation like this?
I stared at Gaeul, who was sleeping while I broke out in a cold sweat, but I didn’t want to forcefully wake her when she was sleeping so soundly.
“Fine, just sleep here tonight.”
I carefully laid Gaeul down on the bed and covered her with the blanket.
When I turned off the light in the room, the glow of the streetlamp outside faintly seeped in.
I lay down beside Gaeul as well and stared at the darkened ceiling.
In the end, there was only one conclusion. What I should do from now on was something only I could decide.
Tomorrow, I’ll see this through.
I made a firm resolution in my heart.
I would meet Seohui unni again and ask her clearly.
Not under the influence of alcohol, but completely sober, I needed to hear her confession again.
Only then would I be able to answer without running away.
At the thought that I had to reject her confession, one corner of my heart stung sharply.
Bright morning sunlight poured through the window frame.
I opened my eyes at the feeling of someone beside me constantly wriggling and moving.
When I raised my aching body and sat up, Gaeul, who had been lying beside me, also woke up half-asleep, her hair a mess.
“Hck!”
The moment our eyes met, Gaeul suddenly flinched in shock and pulled up the blanket.
“Uh, what the heck! Why am I sleeping next to you? Don’t tell me… you were after my body?”
“Don’t say weird things first thing in the morning! You fell asleep yesterday while giving me advice, with your head against the wall.”
At my scolding, Gaeul scratched her head.
Then she soon gave a faint smile and stared at me.
“Sorry, it was a joke. I remember everything we talked about yesterday.”
At those words, I let out a sigh of relief.
I had thought she might brush it off as something said under the influence of alcohol, but Gaeul still remembered the weight of my worries.
Instead of answering, I headed to the kitchen.
I absolutely have to meet Seohui unni.
As I made a simple breakfast for both myself and Gaeul, beyond the sizzling sound of the frying pan, I recalled yesterday’s resolve once more.
***
Despite the bright sunlight outside the window, a damp, heavy darkness had settled over the house where Seohui was staying.
Passing through the living room where all the lights were off, Seohui slowly moved toward a tightly closed bedroom door.
The relaxed smile she had shown in front of Yeonseo and Gaeul yesterday was nowhere to be found, and only a deep shadow was cast over her face.
With a trembling hand, Seohui carefully knocked on the door.
Knock, knock.
“…What do you want this early in the morning?”
What came from beyond the door was the rough voice of a middle-aged man, laced with displeasure.
Seohui swallowed dryly and spoke in a very small voice.
“You are… working, right?”
No sooner had she finished speaking than a sharp shout burst from inside the room.
“Did you come here to ask me that kind of crap? Shut up and go to work! It’s none of your business!”
At the vibration that traveled through the wall, Seohui’s shoulders visibly shrank.
Unable to ask anything more, she weakly lowered her head.
“…Yes.”
Leaving behind that short answer, Seohui put on her shoes as if fleeing.
As she opened the front door and stepped out, a cold silence followed behind her.