“The customer who passed out at the bar yesterday—you were pretty heavy to carry all the way home on my back.”
The moment I heard those words, my mind went blank.
Do bartenders usually take customers all the way home? And on their backs, no less?
“…Excuse me? Um, don’t tell me I made a scene and demanded you take me home or something?”
At my question, she put on a deliberately serious expression and nodded.
“You wouldn’t even listen. You wouldn’t let go of me, so I had no choice.”
“I’m so sorry! I really committed a crime worthy of death…”
Seeing me bowing over and over in flustered apology, she finally couldn’t hold back and burst out laughing.
“I’m joking. You don’t have to be that scared.”
“…?”
“Sorry for teasing you. The truth is, you didn’t cause a disturbance. You just collapsed like a doll.”
“Ah…”
Perhaps she was concerned about the complaints I had poured out yesterday, because her eyes softened slightly as she added to her explanation.
She didn’t forget to say she was sorry if I’d been offended.
But from my perspective, far from being offended, I felt like I should be bowing down to her.
She had gotten me, a complete stranger, safely home.
“Thank you so much. I really wasn’t in my right mind.”
“But how did you tell me your home address so well? For someone who was drunk, you pointed it out so accurately that I was surprised.”
“…I did? My address?”
“Yes. Even your door lock passcode, very kindly.”
It felt like alarm bells were going off in my head.
As if passing out drunk in the street wasn’t enough, I had even handed over my room’s passcode to someone I’d never met before.
The cautious person I’d always prided myself on being was nowhere to be found.
Had getting dumped by my ex-boyfriend broken not only my self-esteem, but even my survival instincts?
“I… I must have really lost my mind. I’m not usually like this.”
“When people are having a really hard time, that can happen. Still, be careful next time. What would you have done if I’d been a bad person?”
“…I’m sorry.”
At her concern, half-laced with a joke, my face burned so badly that I couldn’t lift my head.
Just as she said, what if the person who had carried me yesterday hadn’t been someone as well-meaning as her? Just imagining it sent a chill down my spine.
Like a guilty person, I kept fidgeting with my fingers and staring only at the tips of her shoes.
“This is the first time we’re talking while you’re sober. If you’re okay with it, shall we walk together for a bit?”
“…Sure.”
At her suggestion, as if she were trying to ease the atmosphere, I nodded.
I had no reason to refuse, and more than anything, meeting yesterday’s bartender was an opportunity.
To think I could meet her without paying for drinks.
“What’s your name?”
“Ah, I’m Han Yeonseo.”
“Yeonseo. That’s a pretty name. I’m Kang Seohee.”
“…Thank you.”
Feeling the night breeze, I began walking side by side with Seohee.
Maybe because we weren’t close yet, the atmosphere was awkward.
The longer we walked, the more the resolve I’d had to ask her today faded away.
‘I have to ask…’
But if I didn’t, it felt like I’d just be wasting time.
Fidgeting with my fingers from some indescribable nervousness, I eventually couldn’t hold back and pulled out the question that had been lodged deep in my heart.
“Um, Seohee. I’m not asking because I’ve gone crazy, it’s just that my memory is really hazy.”
“Yes, go ahead.”
“Yesterday… weren’t you definitely a man? No, I mean, to my eyes, you definitely looked like a man.”
“Pfft…”
At my question, Seohee let out a low laugh.
“That’s right. What you saw yesterday wasn’t a hallucination.”
“Wow… that’s seriously amazing. It was so perfect that I just assumed you were a man. You were really handsome. Ah, of course you’re pretty now too!”
“Thanks for the compliment. I never thought I’d get praised for something like this…”
At the lavish praise that slipped out before I could stop myself, Seohee shyly brushed her hair back.
“Is there some special reason you go around doing that?”
“Mm… The manager is a bit of an unusual person. Since I know how to dress as a man, they put me in charge of both roles, woman and man, I guess.”
“So you weren’t the owner of the bar…”
“Did I look like it? Unfortunately, I’m just a part-timer.”
Seohee shrugged as if it were nothing and added,
“And honestly, dressing as a man has always been my hobby. It’s a little weird, right?”
Her hobby was dressing as a man. An ordinary person might have thought it a little unusual, but different words came out of my mouth.
“No, not at all. If anything, it’s cool.”
I meant it. Whether it was a hobby or a job, I envied people who clearly knew what they enjoyed and what they wanted to do.
Compared to me, with my music channel abandoned, my relationship ruined, and my future as murky as fog, she seemed to shine.
Did she read the worry shadowing my face?
Seohee, who had been walking beside me, stopped and pointed somewhere with her finger.
It was a bench in a small park.
“Shall we sit for a moment before we go?”
“Ah… yes, sure.”
We sat down on the bench.
The night air was fairly cold, but perhaps because of the faint fragrance coming from Seohee beside me, my heart grew strangely calm.
Seohee was the first to break the silence.
“Yeonseo, what happened yesterday is still weighing on your mind, isn’t it?”
“…I guess so. The shock still hasn’t really worn off.”
“Do you remember everything you said to me yesterday?”
“No… I remember the gist of it, but not the details.”
Then Seohee answered in a gentle voice.
“I meant that you can tell me again. Yesterday, you were far too drunk. Pouring it all out when you weren’t in your right mind wouldn’t have been enough to make you feel better.”
I was grateful for that consideration, but also sorry.
“…Wouldn’t it be boring to listen to the same complaints again?”
“It’s really okay.”
“You’re kind…”
Seohee smiled softly, signaling that it really was fine.
Looking at that smile, the words I had been holding down began to spill out.
Because I was sober, I didn’t shout or curse the way I had yesterday.
Instead, I spoke in a very calm, low voice.
About the breakup I had been told of beneath the cherry blossoms, and about the bleak worries for my future that I hadn’t been able to bring myself to say yesterday.
I quietly confessed how I had run a music channel and composed songs, only to gradually lose confidence after running into my ex-boyfriend’s disdain and the realistic walls before me.
Seohee didn’t interrupt me even once until my story was over.
She simply nodded quietly, and sometimes looked at me with pity in her eyes.
“…It’s not your fault, Yeonseo. You’ve done more than enough, and right now you’re just taking a short rest.”
When I finished talking, that one sentence she spoke cut deep into my heart.
It was a different kind of comfort from Gaeul’s, a tenderness that seemed to stroke somewhere deep inside me.
I had definitely tried not to cry. I had decided to forget it all now and be strong.
My vision blurred, and a tear fell, plop, onto the back of my hand.
“…Ah, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do this. Why am I suddenly like this…”
Just as I was flustered and about to wipe my tears with my sleeve, a warm heat enveloped me.
Without a word, Seohee pulled me into her arms and hugged me.
“Don’t be sorry. You can cry.”
In her arms was the same faint scent I had smelled at the bar yesterday.
When I buried my face in that embrace, firm yet gentle, the tears I had been holding back burst free.
“What am I supposed to do…? The only thing I knew how to do was compose, but now I don’t even want to sit in front of the computer… It feels like I’m really nothing at all…”
At the sound of my sobbing, Seohee slowly stroked my back.
“Don’t worry. Yeonseo, you’re someone who can get back up again even after something like this.”
At the voice that cared for me, I leaned into Seohee’s arms and cried for several minutes.
When the boulder that had been pressing down on my chest felt a little lighter, I slowly came back to my senses. And at the same time, a tremendous wave of mortification washed over me.
‘Have you lost your mind, Han Yeonseo? What are you doing in the arms of someone you only met yesterday?’
I hurriedly pulled away from Seohee’s embrace.
I could feel my face burning as if it might burst.
“U-um! I’m really sorry! I was so… so rude…”
“Pfft…”
Perhaps she found the sight of me panicking and apologizing repeatedly funny, because Seohee shook her head with a gentle smile on her lips.
“I told you, you don’t have to apologize. It’s gotten late. Shall we head home for today?”
“Ah, yes! We should. I’m sorry for keeping you out so late.”
I hurriedly said goodbye and was about to turn around when Seohee lightly caught my sleeve.
“…Yeonseo.”
“Yes?”
“Could you give me your phone number?”
Since she was someone I wanted to get closer to in the future, I had no reason to refuse.
“Here.”
I gladly entered my number for her.
“Thank you. Get home safely. Contact me anytime when you’re having a hard time.”
“Yes, you too, Seohee!”
And just like that, I ran back home as if fleeing.
As soon as I threw myself onto the bed, I pulled the blanket over my head. I felt so embarrassed I could die, but strangely, one corner of my chest was ticklish.