Seohui unni and I stared blankly at each other, unable to say a word.
If she had been her usual self, she would have taken my hand at once and helped me up.
Perhaps the memory of that day was still binding her; the hand she had reached out wavered in the air for a moment before being withdrawn weakly.
From those retreating fingertips, I could feel just how deeply she had sunk into anxiety.
I pushed the pain aside and got to my feet on my own.
Then I stepped right in front of her and met her gaze.
Under the streetlamp, Seohui unni’s face was a little closer.
Her dark eyes were trembling, like glass beads that might shatter at any moment.
Unable to withstand my gaze, she tried to turn her head away again and flee.
At that instant, I seized her wrist tightly and stopped her.
“…Why are you running away again?”
“…”
Seohui unni fell silent with her back to me.
Her trembling traveled through the wrist I held and into my palm.
“I kept waiting here because I wanted to see you, Unni. Even if I didn’t know when it would end, I had to see you today.”
My voice pierced the stillness of dawn and reached her.
Only then did Seohui unni slowly lower her head.
A powerless voice slipped through her tightly pressed lips.
“Why… did you wait like an idiot in this cold…”
In those words were worry, and tenderness toward me for coming to find her.
“I’m sorry. It’s all my fault.”
“…What are you talking about? Yeonseo, you didn’t do anything wrong.”
Still unable to pull her wrist free from my grasp, she shook her head.
I drew in a trembling breath and spoke to her back.
“Back then, I couldn’t chase after you. I just stood there in a daze and watched you disappear. Now I’ve realized just how wrong that was.”
“That was because I… I suddenly ran off. It wasn’t your fault.”
Her voice was steeped in guilt.
That stubborn consideration of hers, trying to define herself as the perpetrator and push me into the role of victim, made me sad.
I tightened my grip on her wrist a little and asked,
“Unni, let me ask you one thing. Why did you run away back then?”
At my question, her shoulders visibly flinched.
Silence passed for a moment, and only the cold dawn wind swept between us.
At last, with great difficulty, she let out the truth she had been holding back.
“Because I didn’t think I could bear to see the way you looked at me… after I shamelessly did something like that. I was afraid you’d be looking at me with contempt…”
Without realizing it, I let out a sigh of relief.
Because what she had seen in me was only a shard of fear she had created herself.
I put strength into the wrist I was holding and gently pulled her toward me.
“Unni, look at me. Please?”
At my earnest plea, Seohui unni turned her body and slowly lifted the gaze she had fixed on the ground.
I looked straight into her eyes and asked,
“Do my eyes right now… look like the eyes of someone who hates or despises you? Truly?”
At my question, Seohui unni parted her lips, but in the end she could not answer.
After a short while, she gave a self-mocking smile and spoke heavily.
“Yeonseo. I’m really grateful that you’re saying all this for my sake… but at times like this, I’d rather you just tell me clearly.”
“…Tell you what?”
“Don’t hide how you really feel. That situation was one you had every right to feel uncomfortable about, and even getting angry wouldn’t have been enough. I know you’re holding it in because you’re kind. So don’t force yourself to pretend you’re okay…”
She still firmly believed that somewhere in my heart lurked revulsion toward her.
Even the comfort I offered seemed to sound like nothing but pity to her.
Seeing Seohui unni brand herself as a sinner made my chest feel tight.
I needed an imprint clearer than a hundred words.
Swallowing a trembling breath, I reached out with both hands and gently cradled the back of her head.
Through the cold night air, her warmth traveled into my palms.
Without hesitation, I pulled her toward me, and our lips touched.
Her warmth overlapped with my cold lips.
“…!”
I felt her body stiffen visibly at the unexpected contact.
But I did not pull away.
Into that brief kiss, I poured my whole sincere truth—that I had not been disgusted.
It felt as if only our breaths filled the world.
When I slowly parted my lips from hers, Seohui unni’s eyes had grown noticeably wide.
Holding her frozen gaze straight on, I spoke in a very low, firm voice.
“Don’t misunderstand. I have never once hated you, Unni.”
Close enough for our breaths to touch, I added once more, driving the point home.
“So please, don’t blame yourself anymore.”
“You’re really…”
As Seohui unni looked at me with a face that seemed about to crumble, clear moisture finally welled in her eyes.
I carefully reached out and pulled her into my arms.
“What am I, someone like me… What am I, that you’d go this far for me, Yeonseo?”
With her face buried in my shoulder, she burst into the tears she had been holding back.
As I stroked her thinly trembling back, I whispered quietly by her ear.
“Because you’re someone precious to me, Unni. So please don’t hate yourself so much.”
In the cold stillness of dawn, only her sobs soaked the air.
After leaning on me and pouring out her emotions for a long while, Seohui unni slowly raised her head.
The hand with which she wiped her reddened, swollen eyes with the back of it looked a little lighter.
“I’m sorry, Yeonseo. You must have been cold waiting outside for so long… You should go in now.”
“I’m okay. But Unni, I still have so much I want to say.”
At her worried words, I gave her a bright smile.
“Would you like to come to my place?”
At my sudden suggestion, Seohui unni blinked in surprise for a moment, then soon smiled shyly and nodded.
We walked home without much conversation.
And yet my heart felt more at ease than ever before.
Once we were inside, we washed our hands lightly and sat side by side on the edge of the bed in my cramped studio room.
Under the light filling the room, our shoulders were close enough to touch.
I brought up the words that had been lodged in a corner of my chest since earlier, the words I had not yet finished saying.
“I’m sorry, Unni.”
At my words, Seohui unni turned to me with round eyes and asked back,
“Yeonseo, what in the world do you have to be sorry for?”
“I made you misunderstand like this for an entire week. When I think of the wound you must have suffered alone during that time, I feel so sorry. I should have held on to you sooner.”
“…”
At my heartfelt apology, she looked at me as if she had lost her words for a moment, then gently covered my hand with hers.
“It’s okay. I was the one who misunderstood on my own and got scared. So from now on, let’s stop saying we’re sorry to each other. Okay?”
As if her tender consolation had released the tension in me, I let out a small laugh and nodded.
“Hehe, let’s do that.”
After we finished speaking, a strange silence settled over us.
I had no idea what we were supposed to do next.
Just as I was vaguely thinking that I wished time would stop like this, she carefully broke the silence.
“Yeonseo… if I hadn’t run away back then and had properly told you I liked you… what were you planning to say?”
I lowered my gaze for a moment, then, thinking there was no need to hide it anymore, I told her the truth.
“To be honest… I’d brought it up because I was originally planning to reject you. I thought drawing a clear line would be the best thing for you.”
“…I see.”
Her voice trembled faintly.
At the bitterness in that voice, I hurriedly added,
“But I think differently now.”
“What… do you mean?”
She turned to me with a puzzled expression.
I turned my head to the side and met her eyes directly.
“I want to be there for you, Unni, who cherishes me so sincerely.”
I squeezed her hand tightly and continued.
“Even if I might not have romantic feelings right this moment. But… I want to come to truly like you, Unni. So will you help me a little?”
At my clumsy confession, she stared blankly at me for a while, then slowly lowered her head.
The corners of her thinly trembling lips curved upward in a pleased arc.
“Yeah… of course.”
Her answer was short, but within it was a deep sense of relief and excitement.
“B-but please don’t come on too openly when we’re outside…”
The defensive words slipped out before I knew it.
When Seohui unni looked a little dejected, an absurd alternative tumbled out of my mouth out of guilt.
“If you really want to do it outside… Oh! How about you dress as a man?”
Even after saying it, my face burned at how ridiculous I sounded.
Because the suggestion was tinged with my cowardice, still trying to hide behind the wall of the world’s gaze.
As if even my childish consideration was precious to her, she let out a low laugh.
“If that’s what you want, I’ll do it.”
Her attitude respected the pace at which I was trying to move forward for her sake.
As if she had now fully regained her spirits, mischief glimmered in her eyes as she stared intently at me.
“What should I do to make our Yeonseo fall head over heels for me… There are so many things I could do for you right now, you know.”
Seeing her lean slightly toward me with a meaningful smile, I panicked and shrieked.
“Unni…!”
“I’m kidding, kidding. Isn’t your reaction too cute?”
At her shameless words, I shoved at her back with my face as red as a carrot.
She let out a pleased laugh and slowly rose from her seat.
“It’s gotten really late.”
“You have work tomorrow too, so hurry home and sleep.”
“I should.”
At the front door, she turned back to look at me once more.
“Thank you so much for coming to see me today, Yeonseo. Sleep well.”
“Get home safely.”
After leaving that brief farewell, she went out.
Only after I heard the click of the door closing did I let out the breath I had been holding.
In the empty room, her faint scent and warmth still lingered.
‘Really… thank goodness.’
I turned off the light, lay down on the bed, and slowly closed my eyes.
Quite a lot had happened, but today, I was able to fall asleep with an easy heart.