# 65
65. Paula of the Strange Count's Household (3)
He didn't seem to be the head of the household, but... I hadn't seen anyone smaller than me since coming here. Ah, then that meant I might be the smallest person. Even five years ago... I shook my head to shake off the useless thought.
"Your hair is curly like mine."
"Yes, somewhat."
"Your bangs are all over the place."
Joelie pointed at my short bangs and laughed. Embarrassed, I fiddled with them. The thought of my face being exposed made me shrink inward. When I lowered my head in sudden shame, she laughed even harder.
"I like that. Come here."
"Yes!"
Joy sprang out at the answer I'd been waiting for. I answered loudly without realizing it, then panicked, but Joelie responded with laughter once again. I smiled awkwardly, closed the wardrobe, and ran over to her.
Joelie rose from her chair and took off her robe. Seeing her smooth figure, though I was also a woman, I felt somehow embarrassed. So I kept my gaze slightly lowered as I helped her into her dress. I fastened all the buttons crowded along her back and smoothed out the wrinkled fabric.
The figure-hugging dress suited her well.
"Fix my hair too, will you?"
"Yes."
Joelie sat back down in the chair. I placed a mirror opposite her and stood behind her. Her long hair was abundant and glossy. I brought a comb and carefully brushed through it.
"Curly hair looks voluminous, which is nice, but if you don't take care of it, it gets too messy."
"It's still pretty."
"Thank you. Ann, isn't yours about like mine?"
"Mine is even more frizzy. The ends are sticking out right now too."
At that moment, Joelie suddenly turned and grabbed my hair. I was so startled by the sudden touch that my body stiffened. Paying no mind to my reaction, Joelie fiddled with the ends of my hair, then twirled them around.
"The ends really are sticking out."
"...Yes."
"Still, it's cute. Once I touch it, I can't forget it."
Even after that, she kept playing with my hair for a while. When I shot her a flustered look, she responded with a smile. I had to stand there awkwardly with my back bent, waiting for her to let go. But when there was no sign of that, I couldn't hold back anymore and asked if I could continue fixing her hair. Only then did Joelie apologize with a laugh and release me.
Regaining my freedom, I returned to touching her hair. I gathered the abundant hair together, twisted it up, and secured it with a flower-shaped ornament. I arranged the loose strands with small pins.
When I finished, Joelie carefully examined her styled hair. Turning her head this way and that, looking in the mirror, she smiled broadly.
"You're good with your hands."
"Thank you."
Fortunately, she seemed satisfied. A pleased smile hung on Joelie's lips. I looked at Joelie in the mirror. Dressed up, she radiated light. As expected, she was more suited to be the Countess.
"Alright. You may go."
"Yes."
I bowed and turned around. I walked over and was just about to grab the doorknob when—
"Ann."
She suddenly called my name. When I turned back, Joelie had already risen from her chair and was looking at me. When our eyes met, she tilted her head slightly and let the corners of her mouth droop long.
"Welcome to this place."
From that shocking first meeting until now, Joelie had always been smiling. She seemed like someone accustomed to smiling. Yet strangely, her smile right now was peculiar. So much so that even while looking at her eyes curving deeply toward me, I couldn't smile back.
How should I describe this? If I had to categorize it, it leaned more toward the bad side than the good—less a habitual smile and more like a conscious smile meant to hide her true feelings.
But I figured it was just my imagination.
"It is an honor."
I gathered both hands together and bowed deeply once more.
* * *
Whether Joelie had taken a liking to me, from that day forward I attended to her. In exchange, Alicia was assigned to clean other areas. And those were dirty places like unused rooms or storerooms. Displeased with this, she went to Audrey to complain a few times, only to have her area changed to even dirtier places no one wanted.
In any case, Alicia was a maid. Whether she liked it or not, there was nothing she could do. Perhaps stung by pride, every time she finished work and returned to our room, she would beat her pillow as if trying to burst it and scream. I did tell her to watch her mouth.
'I was trying to get in good with the noble master to make my fortune, but why did it have to be a woman! Just my luck!'
To me, Joelie seemed to be the Countess, but I didn't bother telling her. Alicia even asked tentatively if she should just run away. I pretended not to hear.
Alicia had been driven out, but Johnny was still with us. Even after fleeing in embarrassment, Johnny kept being summoned by Joelie. Unfortunately, it seemed he had become Joel's attendant like me. But rather than being served, it seemed more like she intended to keep him nearby like an ornamental flower.
When I took out clothes or items, he helped from the side, but when it came to tasks that required touching or having contact with Joelie, he stood far away. Having received orders not to leave the room without permission, he couldn't even escape. So when embarrassing situations unfolded, Johnny would just close his eyes and endure.
'How cute.'
Joelie enjoyed Johnny's embarrassed reactions. Sometimes she would touch him with a peculiar hand, or send him subtle glances. Naturally, Johnny felt awkward every time.
'Hey, hide me.'
'How am I supposed to hide you? Don't say ridiculous things.'
'That woman keeps looking at me strangely. Why does she look at me like that?'
'I don't know.'
And not long after, I learned the meaning of those glances.
Every night, Joelie summoned men to her room. And a different man each night. I didn't know the identities of those men, but among them seemed to be male servants. One day I was called while sleeping and went to her room, only to find a naked man lying beside her—how embarrassing that was.
'I like pretty things. But I don't like forcing myself on anyone. True pleasure comes when both enjoy it. If only one person feels good, it's just disgusting, right?'
In the end, that was why she kept Johnny nearby. She didn't want to force someone who said no, so she seemed to keep him close and watch until he might feel the same way. It also meant she liked Johnny that much. Though the person himself only felt threatened and couldn't grasp the hidden intention.
But I felt Joelie's gaze in a different sense. When our eyes met, her look was gentle, but when they didn't, the gaze that reached me stung. As if she were watching me specifically. Whenever I felt that gaze, I couldn't help but tense up.
For several days, this situation repeated. Joelie acted increasingly demanding, Johnny felt awkward, and I worked diligently between them. At first it was difficult, but as the same situation repeated, I grew accustomed to it.
However, despite growing accustomed, my assigned area suddenly changed. I was abruptly moved to cleaning rooms on the second floor. I didn't know the reason. Had I somehow offended Joelie without realizing? Cleaning was familiar work anyway, so this was actually more comfortable. Besides, not having to receive Joelie's strange glances anymore wasn't bad.
And Alicia took my place. How? My疑惑 was resolved when I heard from a maid in charge of cleaning the same area that Alicia had begged Audrey for another chance a few days ago.
She had been glaring at me fiercely every time I returned from attending Joelie, and to think she had been doing that in secret. That proud Alicia.
'What's your scheme?'
'What?'
'I'm asking why you're bending your pride to do attending work.'
Alicia glared at me fiercely.
'It's because of you!'
'Me?'
'Yes! You were trying to take my place again!'
No, what did I do? While I was bewildered, Alicia shouted.
'I'd rather serve that woman than fall behind you!'
Only then did I realize Alicia's habit had come out. That vicious habit of always trying to take whatever someone else had. It was a short period, but I knew well enough that Joelie was a demanding woman. I could somewhat imagine what had happened when Alicia was alone with her. Yet Alicia disliked me replacing her position enough to endure such situations.
'And if I at least serve her, I might get to meet other nobles later. It's annoying, but I can't help it right now.'
She looked irritable, but it seemed she hadn't acted purely on impulse either. It didn't matter to me either way.
'Do well.'
'Just don't interfere with my work.'
I had thought this before, but I had no intention of interfering at all.
I hadn't come here by choice, but since I was staying, I just wanted to focus on my assigned work. Whether that was attending Joelie or cleaning didn't matter. Considering Johnny had come because they paid well, I suppose I didn't need to worry about compensation. I was temporarily employed anyway, so I might have to leave this place later. Until then, I needed to earn as much as I could so I wouldn't go hungry after leaving.
And thanks to being freed from Joelie's side, I was able to grasp the details about this place.
Wiping the hallway windows, I stared intently through the dense bushes beyond. Pushing through the gaps in the foliage, something white occasionally came into view. I recently realized that white thing was another mansion of this Count's household. It was far enough that it was hard to notice without looking closely.
This place surrounded by forests on all sides didn't seem like the main building. Then was it a separate wing? It was strange that there was no garden, which would normally be present in a noble's mansion.
But even if there was another mansion, I couldn't go find it. The servants here couldn't go outside unless Audrey gave permission. There were even no visitors to this place. A normal Count's household would have guests, but since coming here, I hadn't heard of anyone visiting. Joelie also didn't go out often. Perhaps because of that, our permission to go out was strict as well.
The only area we could freely go without special permission was about up to the front door of this mansion. The moment we stepped into the forest, we had to be interrogated about where we were going and for what reason.
Perhaps because we were temporarily employed, we seemed to be under strict management. Moreover, after having several conversations with a maid I worked with, I learned that all the servants in this mansion were people brought in from outside like Alicia and me.
The surroundings were enclosed by forest, and I couldn't go to the other mansion. No, I couldn't properly see anything—not a garden or anything else. Plus, all the servants were outsiders. I had never seen the Count's face even once, and the only one present was a woman named Joelie, the Countess. But why was the Countess living in such an isolated separate wing?
After investigating for several days, the conclusion I reached was this:
This was a truly strange mansion.
Normally, there would be at least one or two long-serving servants. The place I used to work... I hurriedly shook my head, stopping that thought. Perhaps because of past experience, lately the events from five years ago kept popping up unexpectedly.
I hadn't completely forgotten. There were memories I couldn't forget even if I wanted to. I sometimes recalled the things in that mansion. Sold for gold coins, yet there were more good memories than bad. Although the beginning and end weren't good, the reason those occasionally recollected memories were beautiful was probably because of that.
Sometimes that man came to mind.
The memories, conversations, and promises I shared with him in that short time. And our last moment. Worry for him, left alone in that dark room again, would occasionally shake me. But that too was already five years ago.
Long enough to forget a disappeared maid. Long enough to think she might have died. Yet I had sometimes thought—what if he was still looking for me?
That couldn't be.
'That can't be.'
Even if that were true, he wouldn't be able to find me. Because he never saw my face. How could one find a person they've never even seen?
And another man came to mind.
I immediately shook my head. There was nothing to do but shake off the melancholy feeling. He was doing well. Everyone was probably doing well. So I needed to do well too. That was how I soothed my melancholy feelings.