# 45
45. The Moment Stars Fell on the Count's Estate (6)
How could I get so distracted by dancing that I fell into the fountain while dancing excitedly? And grown adults, no less. Recalling that situation, it was just too funny. We were spinning around so excitedly that we didn't even realize we were approaching the fountain. If anyone had seen it, they might have thought, 'What are those idiots doing?'
I threw my head back and laughed. My whole body was definitely drenched and uncomfortable, but strangely, my mind felt refreshed. Was it because I fell into the fountain? Thinking that, laughter burst out of me again. I couldn't tell whether our appearance was funny or the current situation was funny, but this very moment was just too hilarious and joyful.
Both he and I couldn't stop laughing for a long time.
While laughing joyfully, I came to my senses from the chill of my teeth chattering. Behind me, the fountain water was still pouring down. If we stayed like this, we might end up bedridden by morning.
First, I helped Vincent, who was sitting on the ground, to his feet. His entire body was soaked. It was the same for me. My whole body was drenched and damp. When I wrung out the hem of my negligee, water trickled down. Gathering my hair and squeezing it, it felt like a whole basin of water came out.
After wringing out most of the moisture, I swept the bangs that kept sticking to my face to the side. At that moment, Vincent looked back at me. When I gave him my attention, he placed one hand on his chest and put the other behind his back. Then, with one foot stepped back, he bowed at the waist.
I was briefly startled by his sudden action, but quickly realized what he was doing. I let out a chuckle and, lifting the hem of my negligee slightly with both hands, bowed at the waist.
That was how we offered our greetings to the partner we had danced with.
"How was it? It wasn't difficult, was it?"
Vincent slightly raised his head.
"Just a little."
I also raised my head, following his lead.
Laughter erupted once again.
Both of us came out of the fountain completely drenched. My body shivered at the cold wind blowing in. We couldn't stay outside any longer. Hunching our bodies, we hurried back to the mansion.
As soon as we entered his room, I took out a towel, wiped off his moisture, and handed him new sleepwear. While he changed, I also shook off the dripping water with a towel.
Having changed his clothes, he lay down on the bed. His face looked much more relaxed.
"Should I stay by your side until you fall asleep?"
"I don't need it, so get out."
"Don't hold it in and cry for nothing. This is an opportunity that won't come again."
"Do you want me to kick you out myself?"
What a temper, as always.
"Have sweet dreams this time."
"You too."
He closed his eyes. I pulled the sheet up to his neck and left the room. Then, I carefully entered my room. It was to avoid waking Violet.
However, someone was sitting in the space illuminated by the lamplight. I was so startled that I almost screamed. I stood there frozen, just blinking, and my mind returned as the figure of someone gradually became clear.
"Lady Violet?"
"Where have you been?"
The darkness untouched by the light hid her face. I closed the door, approached her, and placed the lamp on the bedside table. But perhaps because the lamplight was soft. Her face somehow looked gloomy.
"I went for a walk."
"And?"
Violet scanned me up and down. Following her gaze, I also re-examined my own disheveled state. I smiled awkwardly and rubbed my face with a towel. After replying that I slipped and fell into the water, I turned around to change my clothes.
"Paula."
"Yes."
"Did you go alone?"
I hesitated for a moment. Just as I was about to answer no.
"Or was it the two of you?"
"……."
"Did you go with Vincent?"
She didn't seem to be asking out of curiosity. Her voice was low and heavy. When I looked back, I saw Violet's calm face illuminated by the lamplight. It wasn't the face that had happily smiled for me until just a while ago. It was cold. It was the first time I'd seen her with such an expression.
Why would she ask that? I found it strange, but I couldn't easily bring myself to answer. It was because her atmosphere was different from usual. I somehow felt tense. Because I couldn't answer right away and hesitated, Violet gave a soft smile. That smile, too, was different from usual.
"I see."
"……."
"Paula, I..."
Then she stopped speaking and quietly stared at me. Our eyes met, and I could see various emotions flickering in her calm pupils. Somehow, a sharp air pricked my skin.
She definitely seemed angry. Was it my imagination?
"Lady Violet?"
"…No, it's nothing. Hurry up and change your clothes and sleep."
Violet lay back down on the bed. With the conversation suddenly ending, I felt an unsettled feeling. I looked at her back as she huddled facing away, and first changed out of my wet negligee. I set the discarded clothes aside, turned off the lamp, and lay down beside her.
Violet lay with her back to me, and I stared blankly at the dark ceiling. The room was silent. As if the noisy chattering from just a moment ago had been a dream, we said nothing.
Thus, an uncomfortable silence flowed.
"Paula."
She called me softly.
"Yes."
I answered quickly.
"You know..."
"Yes."
"I think... I might be a very ugly person."
At her puzzling words, I looked back at her. Violet was still showing me her back. It felt like a solid wall.
"I'm really ugly."
"Why do you think that?"
"Just... it feels that way."
"That's not true. You are beautiful."
I said firmly. I meant it. I had never seen a person as beautiful as her. There are many people with pretty faces, but few with pretty hearts. She was beautiful in both face and heart.
Hearing my words, Violet let out a faint laugh. But that laugh somehow lacked energy.
"Paula, you're such a good person."
"It's thanks to you, Lady Violet."
"Me?"
"Yes. You treated me kindly. You looked me in the eye, even though I am just a servant, treated me as an equal, and showed me kindness. Thanks to you, Lady Violet, I got to wear a pretty dress, attend a party, and even dance. It was truly fun, joyful, and happy. And... I was truly grateful when you said you liked someone as insignificant as me. Sincerely. Actually, it was the first time I'd ever heard those words. So to me, you are a truly beautiful and wonderful person, Lady Violet."
"……."
"Ah, I'm not just talking about your face. Although, of course, your face is also beautiful."
I emphasized that I wasn't just talking about her face, in case the meaning of my words wasn't conveyed properly. However, no words came back from her. Was she really angry? As the silence dragged on, my guess turned into certainty. Panicking because I didn't know why she was angry, I moved toward her.
"Lady Violet?"
"…Yeah."
"Are you perhaps angry?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. I'm not angry."
She finally turned around. In our colliding gazes, doubt and sorrow met. Sorrow? Why is she looking at me with such sad eyes?
She curved her eyes slightly. Yet, sorrow still lingered there.
"I apologize."
"Geez. I said I'm really not angry."
"Then why?"
"I guess my mood just went down after waking up from sleep."
She raised the corners of her mouth. Her smiling face still lacked energy.
"Paula. Can I ask you a favor?"
"Yes. Tell me anything."
"Don't love Vincent."
At the unexpected words, I opened my eyes wide. What does that... Even as I thought it was ridiculous, my breath stopped. I revealed my mind, tangled in confusion, to her.
With the smile erased from her face, Violet continued speaking.
"Don't love him. If you think you might... rather, run away. Run far, far away and live. I really want you to be happy, Paula. I want to wish for your happiness."
"……."
"But not with Vincent."
Her calm voice made a request. Her serious face threatened me. Like a kind of warning not to intervene between her and him anymore.
"It can't be him."
I opened and closed my mouth. I had to say something... I needed to... I had to tell her it was a misunderstanding... But the words wouldn't easily come out. Strangely, my throat felt completely blocked, and no voice came out.
Looking at me like that, Violet smiled sadly. And then she closed her eyes. I couldn't say anything even then. Even though my head told me I shouldn't be like this, I couldn't easily spit anything out.
A little while later, only after hearing her even breathing, I barely opened my mouth.
"I will."
"……."
The even breathing didn't budge.
I looked at the sleeping Violet for a while before closing my eyes. The memory of us facing each other and dancing happily under the sparkling chandelier vanished into the darkness. The golden hair that fluttered among the falling stars and the affectionate face that looked at me were also buried and erased in the darkness. The sound of joyous laughter no longer reached my ears.
I desperately erased the emotions that had bloomed in my heart as well. I curled up my cold body as much as possible.
It was a strangely cold night, even though I was with someone.
* * *
'You can just stay like that forever.'
Alicia said as she tossed her flowing hair back. With her head tilted back entirely, she looked at me as if sympathizing with a pathetic opponent.
'Don't do anything.'
The blatant mockery made it feel even more so.
'That's what you, as the older sister, have to do.'
The reason I didn't even retort to those words was because I knew that fact better than anyone else. There was nothing I could do. I had no power, no ability, and nothing to my name. Even the few things I had held in my arms slipped away like sand, leaving me completely empty.
I have nothing.
That being said, I had never wanted to covet and possess anything. Rather than that, surviving day by day was more important. I want to live even one more day, I want to live as long as possible. That was the entirety of the desire I held.
Therefore, listening to Violet's words is not difficult. Actually, it wasn't even a question of whether to listen or not.
"Handmaiden."
While I was blankly looking at the sky, Ethan called me. When I approached him, he asked about Vincent's whereabouts.
"Where did Vincent go? He's not in his room."
"He went for a walk to the forest behind the estate with Lady Violet."
Early in the morning, Violet came to Vincent's room, suggesting they go for a walk. Vincent asked me to accompany them, but I refused. I didn't want to intrude between the two, and I didn't feel like going for a walk either.
"When will they return?"
"I'm not sure either."
"Hmm. It would be nice if they stayed a long time before coming back."
"Why?"
"Well, you see..."
Just then, a commotion was heard from outside. Ethan and I looked out the window and saw five people heading this way.
Four men and one woman, and among them was the butler. The butler was walking while saying something to the others with a polite attitude, but somehow he looked urgent, as if he was definitely trying to stop something. Nevertheless, the other people walked toward this place without hesitation. Rather, their pace was quite fast.
"Good grief."
Ethan clicked his tongue. I kept my eyes on them. Somehow, the atmosphere was strange.