# 29
29. Teatime with the Count (11)
I hesitated. Should I back down and look away, or not.
'Paula, cheer for me.'
The conversation I had with her came to mind. So I tried to muster up my courage.
"Lady Violet said she understands."
"Understands? Understands what? Is she saying she'll offer pity because her blind fiancé is pathetic?"
"Why would you say that?"
"Because that's how it is."
The sharply protruding thorns surged even sharper. I could see his heart was firmly shut, just like his door. I licked my dry lips and stuttered on.
"You know better than anyone, Master, that Lady Violet is not that kind of person."
"There's one thing I've learned in my life, shall I tell you what it is? People I thought I knew well actually aren't."
"……"
"Even if they pretend to care for me on the outside, the moment I show a weakness, they immediately think of grabbing it and shaking me. Even people I thought wouldn't do that all did. They came to see me and first checked my condition. Even the moment my parents left in an accident, they calculated how to use this young heir."
The pain he had endured was visible on his bitterly smiling face.
"Violet might not do that, as you say. But the people around her will. At the very least, her family won't accept a blind fiancé."
"……Then are you going to keep being like this?"
"I suppose I can't."
"……"
Watching him shake his head, I realized. He wasn't afraid of breaking off the engagement with Violet. He was afraid of meeting her right now. He was reluctant to face her in his blind state.
Courage, that was what he needed right now.
The courage to accept his condition and step forward.
I gently let go of his hand. He obediently let go of my hand, too. Leaving him looking unusually weak, I stepped out of the room. Then I went to my room right next door and opened the drawer. I gathered the things packed tightly inside into my arms and went back to his room.
Perhaps sensing my presence, he, who was about to lie down on the bed, looked back at me.
"Why are you here again."
"Master."
I poured out everything I held in my arms onto him. The white letters poured out in a cascade, scattering across the bed. They were the letters Violet had sent so far.
"These are all the letters Lady Violet sent you. I was keeping them by Lady Isabella's order."
"……"
He slowly felt through the letters poured out before him. It was a large enough amount to surround him entirely. Naturally. She had sent letters without resting, even without receiving a reply.
"Lady Violet sent a letter every two days. Even knowing a reply wouldn't come, she sent them without fail. Master, I am not good with words. So I cannot give you good advice right now. But, at the very least, I think this sincerity is not a lie."
The sincerity of sending letters every time despite the lack of a reply was amazing. Even sending them every two days, the thickness of the letters made me wonder. So I had opened her letters a few times.
[Today I took a walk in the garden. The flowers are so beautiful. I want to show them to you.]
[Today I bought a pretty dress. I want to wear this and meet you.]
[I miss you, Vincent.]
The carefully written letters densely filled the paper. The content was nothing special. The letters listing her daily routine always ended with the words 'I miss you.' Looking at the last letter where the ink was smudged, I could fully feel her longing for him.
"As you said, Master, not everything will go smoothly, but you still have to face her. Take courage. I think now is the time for that."
At the very least, I hoped that the person knocking on your door wouldn't give up on you out of exhaustion. I wanted you to face that sincerity. Even if, as time passes, she eventually leaves you, I still wanted you to believe for now. I didn't want you to lose your relationship with someone because of the doubt that 'they might do that.'
"If you want, I will read the letters to you."
"……It's fine."
He picked up one of the letters.
"I know what's written in them. She wrote about her well-being, saying she's worried and misses me. She always sent them like that. After I ordered not to look at the letters, I thought they stopped coming because I didn't send a reply, but I guess she was still sending them."
"Yes. Enough to pile up this much already. I think it's rude to keep ignoring someone who worries about you this much!"
Thinking this was my chance, I shouted with a sense of accomplishment, but he just looked sullen. I wondered why he had that expression, but his following words left me speechless this time.
"You, you're doing this because of what you did wrong. Violet listened to your words and decided to stay, so I was watching how you'd act."
"……"
He's really sensitive about this kind of thing.
Since the incident happened, I tried hard to ignore the stinging feeling in a corner of my heart, and shamelessly refuted that it wasn't true. I asked if he didn't know her heart that worried about him, but he didn't listen. Instead, he felt through the letters scattered on the bed. I could feel his heart in his careful touch. It seemed it wasn't completely without effect.
"Did you gain some courage?"
"A little?"
Though he was still cold.
"I only hear nagging from you every time."
"If you don't want to hear it, you just have to do well."
"You're shameless, too."
"I have to be, to serve you, Master."
Then he smiled softly.
"Thanks."
Just now…… what did he say?
Wondering if I misheard, I blinked, but he grabbed my hand again. It wasn't a strong grip like before. It was a more careful, tickling touch. And soon, his fingers intertwined with mine joint by joint.
"The word of thanks I said when we practiced talking last time, that was meant for you. I even laughed thinking about how hard it is to say I miss you."
Perhaps recalling that time, he gave another short laugh. That laugh was unfamiliar. Unfamiliar, yet…… familiar. A gentle face considerate of the other person. The face I saw back then. That face was facing me.
"Thank you. I mean it."
No, it actually had been directed at me.
"I didn't intend to keep ignoring Violet. It wasn't what I wanted, but anyway, it happened, so I have to clean it up. But like you said, I think I lacked courage. Thanks to you, I feel a bit better. Thank you."
He hesitantly raised his head. The cloudy emerald eyes pierced into me. Thanks to practicing several times, he could now follow my voice with his gaze. And I, meeting that gaze, opened and closed my mouth several times before finally closing it.
The intertwined skin was hot, and the affectionate voice tickled my ears. I stared at him blankly, unable to think of anything. A warning echoed thump, thump.
* * *
The tightly closed door opened a day later. Vincent met Violet. She burst into tears the moment she saw him. She seemed to have a lot to say, but she substituted her sorrow by repeatedly hitting his chest. Vincent held her in his arms and patted her back. She resolved her accumulated grievances inside his embrace. Ethan also patted the backs of the two of them.
"I will never break off the engagement. And I won't tell anyone about your condition. Really."
"Thank you."
Her silence didn't mean his condition could be hidden forever. Nevertheless, she would keep that promise. Knowing that, Vincent smiled back at her.
The three of them talked all day long. For the first time in a while, joyful laughter echoed through the mansion. Seeing the sight of such a splendid couple, I rubbed my chest for no reason.
The next day, they had a teatime.
The attendees were Vincent, Violet, Ethan, and me. I felt awkward, thinking it wasn't my place to join, but Violet actively pulled me in. When I said I couldn't do that on my own, she even got permission from Isabella. In the end, I, a mere maid, had the glory of attending the nobles' teatime.
The teatime took place in the garden behind the annex. It was the same place where I had teatime with him last time. We drank tea and had ordinary, unremarkable conversations. Just that was enough to make the atmosphere very harmonious.
Then Violet's letters became the topic.
"Miss Maid. Weren't some of the letters crumpled?"
"Pardon? Ah, come to think of it."
"Violet has a quick temper. She probably got angry while writing the letter because there was no reply, crumpled it, and then smoothed it out again. I can imagine it."
Ethan giggled as he said that. Violet punched his side with an embarrassed face. Ethan groaned, and Vincent took an elegant sip of his tea and smiled subtly. Meanwhile, I shifted in my seat several times.
It was uncomfortable. It felt like I didn't belong there. They talked to me and took care of me, probably worried I'd feel awkward, but ultimately, I was an outsider. I had no memories to share with them. So, while carefully observing the mood, I picked up the empty teapot and stood up. I was trying to slip away with the excuse of getting more tea, but Vincent quickly grabbed me.
"Where are you going?"
"Ah, the teapot is empty. I was going to refill it."
"You don't have to drink it. Stay here."
"Excuse me? Ah, but……"
The ongoing conversation suddenly stopped because of that. Violet and Ethan's gazes fell on me. Flustered, thinking I had unnecessarily interrupted their fun time, Ethan chimed in.
"Wow, Vincent. If anyone saw this, they'd think the maid was leaving you forever? How desperate, so desperate. No matter how much you hate being apart, have some tact and let her have a moment to herself while she gets the tea. How uncomfortable must it be for her to be here."
"My. Was that so?"
Violet asked if it was true, and Vincent waited for my answer. Flustered by the unexpected remark, I couldn't bring myself to answer right away. Then Vincent gently let go of the hem of my clothes he was holding. Not knowing whether I should be thankful for that or not, I just bowed my head and slipped out of there.
Once I got some distance from the three of them, I could breathe again. I guess it was uncomfortable. I scratched my head and went down to the kitchen to brew new tea.
After asking the chef to prepare some sweet snacks, I deliberately took a long way around. It was true that I wanted to get some fresh air alone. I hadn't had any time to myself lately. Maybe that's why. This short moment felt as sweet as honey.
Like that, when I returned to the teatime spot, there was one more new attendee.