2. Miss Christopher's Daily Life (9)
After Ethan returned, I tried to send Vincent away, but he stuck around the mansion, exactly as his words, "I'll be imposing on you for a few days," suggested. The reason was simple.
"I'll leave if you promise not to interfere between us anymore."
"When did I ever interfere?"
"You did every single time."
It seemed he had come to make sure of that this time around.
Unable to focus on my lessons because of Vincent constantly tailing me, I teamed up with Ethan to try and send him back. But every time we did, Vincent made such overtly disappointed expressions that from then on, I couldn't help but be swayed.
Furthermore, knowing this, Ethan showed even more wariness. Seeing him go to Vincent's room every night, it seemed like he was keeping watch in case he came to see me. From the looks of it, the two of them were downing wine together every night. Thanks to that, Ethan looked incredibly exhausted every morning. Even though Vincent, who drank with him, seemed perfectly fine.
A few days passed like that. As always, I spent the day exhausted from taking lessons all day and went to sleep early. I was tense because Vincent followed me around every day watching me take my lessons, and fatigue built up from having to soothe Ethan's excessive worries.
I was sleeping soundly for the first time in a while when I heard a knocking sound in my sleep. At first, I thought it was a sound from my dream, but then I heard the knocking again. Only then did I wake my half-asleep mind and sit up. Who could it be in the middle of the night?
I grabbed a shawl nearby and draped it over my nightgown before heading to the door. When I opened the door slightly, Vincent was standing there unexpectedly.
The sleepiness vanished in an instant. Vincent, wearing a gown over the nightshirt he borrowed from Ethan, pushed the door open and came inside. I naturally checked the time. No matter how I looked at it, it was definitely the middle of the night.
"What brings you here at this hour?"
"I came to have a drink with you. Can you drink?"
Vincent shook the wine bottle in his hand. He was also holding two glasses.
"I've been drinking every night for the past few days, so I've gotten used to the taste."
Standing in front of the table on one side of the room, Vincent handed me a glass, then skillfully opened the cork with a corkscrew and poured the wine. Watching the dark red liquid fill the wine glass, I gathered my bewildered mind.
"What about... Ethan?"
"He must have fallen into a deep sleep; he didn't come today."
While Vincent was staying, Ethan had been keeping a watchful eye day and night to protect his precious younger sibling, so he looked considerably exhausted over the past few days. He even peeked into my room every dawn to check if Vincent had come, so imagine how tired he was. It seemed he finally passed out from exhaustion in his room today.
"You did that on purpose, didn't you?"
You knew Ethan would be like this. And you knew that within a few days, Ethan would be the first to burn out and drop off. Even leaving aside my relationship with Vincent, Ethan was a busy enough person as it was. If both sides made a fuss, they would burn together, but if it was a one-sided reaction from one person, that person would inevitably get tired first. Pouring wine into his own glass, Vincent made an expression as if to ask why I was stating the obvious.
Except for when he gave orders to the attendant he had brought with him, Vincent stayed by my side all day. It was clear he intended to make up for the time we had been apart. However, aside from the first day, it was hard to say we spent proper time together. Honestly, I did wonder if he might visit at night at least once. I shook my head at him.
"Come this way. It'll feel better if we drink while looking outside."
I opened the balcony door and brought over one of the chairs placed to the side. Then I rummaged through the dresser, took out a long cloth, and spread it on the floor next to the chair. I sat on the cloth instead of the chair. I kept the chair for Vincent, and I liked sitting on the bare floor like this, looking up at the sky. Living in such a nice place didn't mean old habits easily disappeared.
Watching me do that, Vincent pushed the chair aside and sat on the remaining cloth. When I looked at him in surprise, Vincent casually downed the wine in his glass. Watching his Adam's apple bob as the wine went down his throat, I also took a sip from my glass. I thought it would just be bitter, but the aftertaste was slightly sweet, which wasn't bad.
"Being like this reminds me of the old days."
"It does."
Even though it wasn't actually that long ago, the time spent in the Belunita mansion felt like a distant memory. Perhaps because of that, the side of his face looking up at the moon in the sky relaxed languidly.
Come to think of it, a lot had happened. Hmm, it seems I went through a lot of hardship too. I downed my glass at once and held it out to him. Surprised, Vincent told me to drink slowly as he refilled my glass.
"No matter how I think about it, I think you went too far!"
After downing the wine again in one gulp, I got angry. Vincent stopped mid-sip and rounded his eyes.
"What are you talking about?"
"From our first meeting, and when we met again, do you know how coldly you treated me? You said you brought me because you didn't care if someone like me died, and you dangerously threw things at me. And what about when we met again? You didn't throw things, but you still dug into my heart with wicked words."
Even if I pretended otherwise, it left quite a scar. Just thinking about that time put me in a bad mood. I scrunched up my face and sipped the wine Vincent had refilled. Watching me do that, Vincent smirked.
"Look who's talking. Do you know how absurd it was when you force-fed me for not eating properly? I had never been treated like that before. And besides..."
Vincent trailed off. But I could tell even without hearing it. 'And for a subordinate to dare behave in such a way. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't have let it slide.' He was probably going to say something along those lines. From his perspective, it was trampling on the authority of a noble, so it was understandable. But at the time, I had no choice in order to survive.
"It was a matter of life and death for me too."
"It seems your life was precious to you?"
"Even if I was going to die anyway, a meaningless death isn't great."
I didn't wish to die peacefully in my sleep of old age, but I didn't want to die without any worth or value either. It was funny to look for such things in death, but anyway, at the time, I felt a bit resentful. Because I hadn't come here by choice. It also gave me some stubborn defiance.
I swirled the dark red wine in my glass once. The wine spreading in a circle hit the surface of the glass and slid down. The red liquid clinging to the glass streaked down, erasing its mark.
"I didn't want to die without making any effort. But I didn't know the proper way, and with my immature mind, that was the only thing I could think of. I just... did it because I wanted to live."
However, the other person didn't want it, and even felt miserable, so I don't think I did the right thing. If I had been a bit smarter, I might have found a better way. But I was stupid, immature, and clumsy in many ways. Even so, I was definitely grateful to Vincent for showing me such generosity.
"It's very late, but I'll apologize even now. I'm sorry."
I turned toward him and bowed deeply. It was late, but I offered my apology for what happened a long time ago. I wasn't asking for forgiveness, but I wanted to let him know how I felt.
Vincent fell silent for a moment after hearing my apology. Soon, he placed his hand on the floor. The wine glass he was holding hit the floor with a clink.
"Paula. Raise your head."
As I raised my head at his command, Vincent's face was close. He wasn't blaming me, nor did he have a stern expression.
"Then I'll apologize too. Please forgive me for hurting your feelings."
"I will."
It wasn't a difficult thing to do. As I answered readily, Vincent smiled faintly. The wind that blew at just the right moment tousled his and my hair.
Sometimes, living such a peaceful life feels like a dream. Because I had never expected such a time would come in my life. Sold for gold coins and coming to the Belunita family as a servant, could I have known? That I would end up like this with a man who had lost his sight, holed up in his room, throwing wicked tantrums.
I recalled a time when I viewed the moon from his room. I used to dislike the night and thus dislike the moon, but strangely, it was different when I looked at it with him. Because that bright moonlight felt pleasant. Today, too, the bright moonlight was sufficiently illuminating the room.
"Seeing us like this, Lord Ethan, no, my brother will be really mad."
"Don't worry. He probably won't be that angry."
"Why?"
"Because Ethan probably knew I would do this."
Come to think of it, the conversation between the two on the first day was a bit strange. When I stared at him silently, as if demanding an explanation, Vincent must have had no intention of hiding it, as he opened his mouth.
"He came to visit a while ago and lamented that he was worried about you."
I didn't know that. As he looked at me in surprise, he continued his explanation.
"He said he was worried that you were devoting yourself to your noble education without resting properly. I heard a rough gist of what happened last time."
My breath hitched. I immediately realized what 'last time' meant... So that's why. No wonder he had a strange expression the whole time we were together on the first day, and stayed by my side throughout my lessons; it was because he was worried about me. I could feel his consideration in not prying into what I wasn't saying.
"Actually, I wanted to comfort you. But since you didn't bring it up first, I thought it was right to pretend I didn't know, so I didn't say anything."
"...I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to hide it."
"Don't apologize. I'm not trying to scold you for not telling me. I was just... worried about you."
So the reason Ethan couldn't bring himself to throw Vincent out was because he knew his feelings. The reason Vincent was acting so shamelessly was that he knew Ethan had implicitly allowed him to come see me. The reason Ethan, who was usually wary of Vincent's visits, talked to Vincent about me must have been because I was too down. And Vincent thoroughly took advantage of that. Only then did it feel like the puzzling pieces were finally fitting together.
"Was it because you were worried about me that you said you'd stay here for a few days?"
"..."
Vincent didn't say much. But I could already feel his heart well enough.
"I'm fine."
Vincent smiled bitterly. It was an expression that said he knew I would say that.
"No, I'm really fine now. Because everyone is worrying about me so much."
Just receiving that sentiment gave me enough strength. Having someone worry about you was quite a nice feeling. It felt like there were 'people on my side' in the world. So when I smiled brightly, Vincent subtly averted his gaze. His expression was nonchalant, but I could tell he was embarrassed.
The wind blew again. I gathered the shawl that had slipped off my shoulder due to the chill. When I raised my head, Vincent was looking at me again. Through his golden hair, his deep emerald eyes were visible. For a moment, I felt a strange sensation. The breath escaping from his lips carried the scent of wine.
"Would it be ungentlemanly of me to touch you here?"
He asked abruptly. I listened quietly, then smiled slightly.
"It's fine. I'm not a demure lady yet either."
At my words, Vincent also let out a small laugh. Soon, his face drew closer. I also tilted my face. A hot sensation flowed across my lips. The bitterness of the wine felt incredibly sweet just for that moment.