2. Miss Christopher's Daily Life (6)
"Really?"
I asked again, but he remained completely silent. Yet, I felt as though I had already heard his answer. I lowered the hand covering my mouth and approached him. Vincent, glancing at me doing so, turned his head further toward the wall. I tilted my head to see his face.
"Please show me your face."
"Go away."
A large hand blocked my face. I ducked to avoid his hand and leaned in.
"I want to see."
"I said go away."
"If you show me your face, I'll back off."
"Why do you always say you want to see my face at times like this."
"Because I want to see you looking embarrassed."
At my words, I saw his thick brows draw closer together, but he turned his head away again, preventing me from seeing clearly. As he kept twisting his body to hide his face, I twisted mine to chase after him. We wrestled in circles, spinning around in the same spot. Eventually, Vincent completely evaded me, and I missed my chance to see his embarrassed face.
I clicked my tongue in regret as I watched his back. However, Vincent, who was walking away showing me his back, suddenly came to a halt, covered his face with one hand, and let out a deep sigh.
"Every time, it's only me like this. Only I am anxious, restless, and missing you."
"What do you mean by that?"
Frowning, I asked after hearing his low murmur.
"It seems like you didn't think much about me. It doesn't seem like you missed me much, either."
"...What?"
What was he talking about now? As I asked back in surprise, Vincent opened his mouth again after a brief silence.
"You know what? I'm anxious every single day. Things are going well now, but I'm anxious that you might suddenly leave, and I feel uneasy fearing you might change your mind. I know time changes people, but as a human, it's only natural for one's heart to change sometimes."
"...."
"I know I'm the one who held you back when you tried to leave, but..."
The heavy voice suddenly cut off, followed by a sigh. Vincent raised his head and looked back at me. His face had returned to an impassive expression, as if nothing had happened.
"I said pointless things. I'll be going now."
"Wait a minute."
"If we stay longer, the warehouse owner might return."
Anyone could see that Vincent was changing the subject. He brought up his anxious feelings, only to abruptly shut the conversation down. Somehow, I felt like we shouldn't end it like this. So I tried to keep the conversation going, but perhaps he didn't want to talk anymore, he turned his head away.
The moment I saw him taking steps toward the door, I thought I had to catch him.
"Wait, wait!"
I threw myself into his arms as he tried to pass me. I felt Vincent stiffen. Holding tightly onto his chest, I pushed hard with all my strength to prevent him from grabbing the doorknob. Vincent stumbled backward and soon regained his balance, stopping in his tracks.
"I don't know why you're saying such things... but it's not true."
I shook my head while sticking closely to him.
"Th-That's not it. It's a misunderstanding."
"I don't understand what you're saying."
"I mean, I missed you so much too. Honestly, I wanted to see you every day and hoped you would come visit me. Because do you think I'm not anxious and restless? I was anxious and scared too. This life is unfamiliar, I don't know if I'm doing well, but since it's a hard-won opportunity, I want to do really well... And also, fearing you might change your mind... Fearing that later you might say you hate me. Fearing that you might say you loved me back then, but your heart cooled as time passed... I'm terrified."
Holding onto him tightly lest he shake me off, I hastily spat out the words. After babling them out, it felt strange because my thoughts weren't organized, but fortunately, he listened to those strange words to the very end.
"I even have nightmares sometimes!"
In my dreams, I sometimes rewound the past, and other times painted a picture of the days to come. One day, I was a woman begging for scraps due to poverty, and another day, I had become an inept noble lady. The contents of the dreams were different every time.
Then, once, I dreamt that Vincent was breaking up with me with an icy expression. He said his heart had changed, that loving me had been a delusion, asking who could ever love someone as hideous as me—he parted with such utter indifference. It was so terrifying that after waking from the dream, I sat vacantly for a long time. It was one of the nightmares I frequently had.
A person's heart is not eternal. He said I might have a change of heart, but I was the one terrified that Vincent might change his. Sometimes I thought he wasn't in his right mind. Because of that, I felt like he loved me out of his mind, and once he came to his senses, he would mercilessly abandon someone like me. If he abandoned me, Ethan would abandon me too, and I grew anxious, feeling as though happiness would forever disappear from my future life.
That's right, you aren't the only one who is anxious. I am anxious too!
"You're so ruthlessly cold in my dreams. You tell me let's end this with such an icy face... Do you know how much I..."
"I understand. I'm sorry."
He embraced me tightly and rested his chin on top of my head. The hand gently patting my back felt almost unfairly comforting. I thumped his chest. He silently accepted my frustrated outburst.
"Now there's not even a trace left."
The hand that had been patting my back came up and pulled aside my collar. I immediately realized what he was talking about. When Vincent visited the mansion a few days after I came to the Christopher household, he had traced my nape just like this. Or rather, the spot where the marks he left behind had been. The red marks that were there at first had gradually faded, returning to their original color.
Even back then, he had traced my clean nape with a sense of regret, just like now.
His fingertips glided smoothly along my neckline. As they did, my gaze collided with his raised emerald eyes.
"Then, would you mark me again?"
Vincent's eyes widened. I was just as startled. I must be out of my mind.
I needed to explain that wasn't what I meant, but sheer embarrassment kept the words from coming out. I slightly loosened my grip on his chest. Then, as I took a step back and wondered if I should just run away, his fingertips rose and gently cradled my cheek. When I looked up again, I saw Vincent wearing a deeply serious expression.
Strangely enough, I couldn't tear my eyes away. As I gazed at him for a long while, the hot breath escaping from between his slowly approaching lips reached my lips first.
His lips were always moist. Warm and soft. It was I who was rough and dry instead. He loved running his tongue over my parched, cracked lips, taking them between his own to soften and wet them.
Vincent tilted his head, sucking my lower lip with a wet, squelching sound. My lips were instantly drenched. A searing sensation cascaded over my lips. Being like this with him gave me the feeling that we were 'making love.' It might sound childish, but I loved that expression. Making love—what a sweet expression it was. Like caramel melting on the tip of the tongue, whenever I thought of that phrase, I was seized by the feeling that my entire body was melting away.
For a long while, we were intoxicated by each other's heat. As a result, I didn't even notice I was stepping on something with the heel of my shoe. The moment I was pushed back a step by his force, I suddenly slipped. I instinctively snapped my eyes open, but my body had already lost its balance.
"Ack!"
In the blink of an eye, I tumbled backward. Fortunately, the surface behind me was soft, so I didn't feel any particular pain. My mind couldn't catch up with the sudden turn of events. *Something stings a little.* As I thought that and reopened my eyes, which had shut on their own, I was startled. I was pinned beneath Vincent.
"Uh..."
"...."
Vincent hovered over me, his hands planted on either side of my face, visibly flustered. He seemed extremely surprised, as if he hadn't anticipated this situation at all. I felt the exact same way. H-How am I supposed to react in a situation like this? Should I ask him to get off? Yet, for some reason, my lips refused to part.
Straw was spread across the floor, so fortunately, neither of us was hurt. However, the situation had taken a very peculiar turn. His ragged breathing sounded strangely loud in my ears. Before I knew it, Vincent and I were staring intently at each other in silence.
If he just lowered his head a little, our lips would touch again. My heart pounded fiercely. I swallowed dryly. My face felt like it was growing hotter by the second. Even though I knew I had to escape this situation quickly, I couldn't move a single finger. It felt as if I had been completely ensnared by him. In those emerald eyes that held my reflection, I could see a flicker of conflict.
However, the next moment, Vincent let out a deep sigh.
"Let's go inside now. Ethan will be worried."
And with that, he turned his head away.
I stared blankly at Vincent before grabbing his retreating wrist. The moment his bewildered face turned toward me, I shoved him back down onto the straw-covered floor. Vincent fell backward without resistance. I planted one hand on his chest and looked down at him.
"Count."
As I tilted my head slightly, my well-kept, lustrous hair cascaded smoothly over my shoulder. Through the strands, I saw Vincent looking up at me with a startled expression.
"People won't come by for a while because they're watching the festival."
He displayed a look of confusion, seemingly unable to comprehend my words at first. With my other hand, I gently traced his red lips.
"And I am not a child."
I lowered my head a little further, capturing him within my gaze.
"And neither are you, Count."
Vincent, who had been looking at me in apparent dismay, slowly lowered his eyes. As I slid the hand pressed against his chest up to wrap around his shoulder, I felt his body stiffen. His long eyelashes fluttered faintly, seeming to sparkle in the sunlight.
"Yes..."
His voice came out rough.
"Neither you nor I are children."
Those emerald eyes, gleaming with a vivid intensity, captured me.
No more words were necessary.