1. The Meaning of the Name (2)
Things blew up. The trouble started when Ethan visited the Belunita mansion again.
The wound on my shoulder had healed to some extent, and once I no longer had to stay cooped up in the room, Ethan suggested I leave with him. This was an extension of the conversation we had last time. Certainly, if we weren't going to hold the marriage ceremony right away, it was right for me to go to the Christopher family.
I had lived as a poor person from the slums for a long time. No matter how much I assumed the identity of a noble lady, I couldn't become a real noble lady. Ethan pointed out that problem first. He said that as a member of the Christopher family, and since I would be living among nobles, preparation was necessary.
The problem was that Vincent was highly displeased.
'There's no need to go this far.'
'Then? Don't tell me you're thinking of living here with a new identity? Unmarried?'
'We can just get married.'
'Are you joking right now?'
But this time, Ethan didn't back down either.
'She also needs preparation to live with a new identity. That's not something that can be solved just by creating an identity. Showing someone who hasn't even received proper noble education out there right away is reckless. Anyone who has lived in a noble house their whole life would notice something strange, right? It would take no time for them to find fault. Then it won't be good for her either.'
'…….'
'Don't act impatiently like a child. This takes time.'
Ethan gave a sharp critique. Vincent couldn't offer any rebuttal. He too must have known well that it was difficult for me to live as a noble lady right now. I was someone who knew nothing of noble refinement or dignity.
'Alright. I'll give you time. I'll come again next time, so make sure you two talk things over until then.'
With that, Ethan patted my shoulder, saying he would come to pick me up soon. I glanced at Vincent. He had a very sullen face, but he couldn't stop Ethan.
Actually, I agreed with Ethan's opinion. I needed time. Time to prepare myself and have courage for what lay ahead, so that I wouldn't cause them harm.
Besides, it was strange for a noble lady to stay alone in another family's house. Even if I stayed secretly as Joeli, I wanted to live anew with a new identity to avoid doing that. Outwardly, we were still in no relationship.
"Are you angry?"
I asked softly, looking at him who had fallen silent after Ethan left. As I carefully observed his face, Vincent glanced at me and let out a deep sigh.
"No."
That's what he said, but he looked angry. His expression was poor.
"We're just separating for a short while. We'll be able to see each other again soon."
"It's not about that."
"I'll write to you often. I'll write a lot, a lot."
"I said it's not about that... I'll write often too."
Even though he said that, seeing him reply that he would write often, it didn't seem like he was entirely in a bad mood. When our eyes met, a small laugh escaped me. I didn't think of myself as someone who smiled often, but for some reason, I ended up smiling whenever I saw him.
"I'm really not angry. I knew this would happen from the moment you said you'd become family with Ethan. It's just that facing it in reality made me feel a bit unpleasant."
"Do you feel very unpleasant?"
"Yes. Because I don't want to be apart from you for even a single moment."
Anyone listening would think we're parting forever. But his face was as serious as someone facing a tragic farewell. I awkwardly scratched the nape of my neck.
He asked me every day if it hurt a lot. At first, I shook my head, thinking he was worried, but later it seemed like he hoped the wound wouldn't heal. He knew in his head what he had to do, but his heart didn't seem to follow.
"We can just come see each other when we want to see each other."
"There was never a time I liked it when you tried to leave here."
"...Why are you bringing up the past again?"
Strictly speaking, there was an incident recently too. But I wanted to brush it off as the past. Since I was guilty, I hung my head. The top of my head felt stinging as if his gaze reached it, but I pretended not to notice.
"I'm anxious that we might not see each other again."
"That can't be. This time is different. We will see each other again! Definitely, definitely!"
I emphasized 'definitely' several times, trying to relieve his anxiety. However, Vincent just looked out the window with a sullen face. I grabbed his arm and began to soothe him with all sorts of words. Unable to deny that his anxiety stemmed from me, I wanted to ease his mind somehow.
Perhaps my efforts reached him a little, Vincent looked at me again. Then, with a deep sigh, he rubbed his face with his hands.
"I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For acting like a child."
Wondering what he meant, I thought for a moment before letting out a soft laugh. It's not like it's new. I was flustered, but I had no intention of reproaching him for complaining that he wanted to be with me. Rather, my heart tickled and I felt good. Just as I was about to reassure him that it was fine, Vincent dropped his hands and grumbled.
"But it's your fault too."
Suddenly, criticism came back at me. No, why is he acting like this again when things were going well?
"You make me anxious, which is why I'm acting like this."
"Yes, it's all my fault. What should I do for you to feel better?"
"Promise me. That you'll come back."
"Yes, yes, I promise."
"Words aren't enough."
"Then how should I promise?"
Since it had come to this, I asked with the intention of letting him say whatever he wanted. Then, Vincent slightly turned his body toward me and patted his knee.
"Come here."
"Pardon?"
"Sit here."
For a moment, I couldn't understand what he was saying. When I stayed still, he patted his knee again, urging me to sit. I slowly gave him my gaze. Only then did my mind creak into motion. I was a bit flustered to be asked to do something I had never done in my life.
As I hesitated, a look of disappointment brushed across Vincent's face. With no other choice, I stood up. Since I had been sitting right next to him to soothe him, the way there wasn't far. With two small steps, I was right in front of his knee.
But even then, I hesitated. Should I sit, or should I not? Then, I squeezed my eyes shut and lightly sat on the edge of one of his knees. It was a posture like sitting awkwardly on the edge of a seat. Even though it was only one knee, the thought that my body was touching his made my whole body burn with embarrassment. It was incredibly embarrassing. But what did this have to do with making a promise? Just as that thought crossed my mind, an arm wrapped around my stiff waist.
Soon, my body was pulled firmly backward. Suddenly dragged into his embrace, I felt his warm breath on the nape of my neck. One of his hands, creeping up like a snake, cupped one of my cheeks. Unlike his usual gentle hold, it was a strong force, as if trying to prevent me from escaping.
I soon realized why he was holding me like that.
He bit down hard on the nape of my neck. At the pain of his teeth pressing into my bare skin, my body flailed.
"Ah! It hurts! It hurts!"
It felt like my flesh was being torn off. I cried out in pain, but it was no use at all. My face contorted wildly from the merciless pain. I twisted my whole body to avoid the pain, but I was held by him and couldn't escape. I slapped the arm around my waist and the hand holding my face, but he wouldn't let go.
"Ugh..."
The nape of my neck was ground between his teeth. Tears leaked out. It hurt terribly at first, but as I helplessly endured it, I gradually grew a little used to it.
"Ah, it hurts..."
Still, the pain remained the same. The bitten area throbbed. As I was groaning with my head bowed, the pain of the bite soon faded away. However, his lips didn't leave. Something wet was rubbed across the stinging skin.
Ugh.
"M-M-Master."
I tried to turn my body to see him. However, it wasn't easy as my body was still held captive. He held my struggling body firmly. His golden hair, clinging to him in the night, pricked my skin. All the while, that wet something kept lapping at the bitten spot continuously.
"Ugh, ughh—"
Strange sounds flowed from my mouth. I couldn't help it because this time, I felt a strange sensation different from pain. It was embarrassing and shameful, a feeling like I wanted to run away somewhere. I could feel my face burning red. I begged him to stop, but he wouldn't let me go, so my face gradually turned into a crying mess.
Biting and licking, biting and licking again. As the strange behavior continued, I eventually couldn't bear it anymore and twisted my body with all my might. Then Vincent finally let go of his arm. Escaping his embrace, I hit my knee on the table right in front of me, but without even properly feeling that pain, I slumped to the floor and grabbed the nape of my neck. The skin that touched my hand was wet. It was throbbing, but also felt cool as the breeze brushed over it. I looked up at Vincent in horror while clutching my neck, but he had a completely nonchalant face. A calm observation came back.
"You shouldn't call me that from now on. What if someone hears you?"
"T-T-T-Th, ugh, oh..."
I wanted to ask what kind of behavior this was, but my voice wouldn't come out well. Vincent smirked at my stammering self. Then, he lightly tapped the nape of his own neck with his fingertips.
"It's marked well."
"...What?"
"Now the promise is made, right?"
His gaze landed on my neck, hidden within my hand.
"I feel a bit better now."
"……."
My jaw dropped. I couldn't keep up with the situation. As I stared at him blankly, Vincent reached his hand out again. I flinched. As I watched his fingertips warily, Vincent chuckled softly and leaned his body closer.
"It's okay. I won't do anything else."
"……."
"If you want, you can mark me too."
"N-No, it's fine. No, I'm good."
I shook my head frantically in surprise. I didn't need to do that. Words were enough! As if my feelings were conveyed well, Vincent burst into laughter. Then he reached out again, grabbed my arm, and pulled me toward him. I was startled, but I didn't shake his hand off.
Vincent, leaning back, embraced me again. By habit, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. Vincent, burying his face in my chest, let out a heavy sigh and rubbed against me.
"It hasn't even been that long, but just thinking about you not being here makes me feel like I'll be lonely. And sad."
"...Yes."
My answer was late because I still had a dazed lingering feeling.
"What about you? Aren't you sad about being separated from me for a while?"
"Pardon? Well..."
I came to my senses a bit. Sad? I thought about the answer to that question and trailed off. Suddenly, Vincent dropped me. The eyes looking at me while holding both my arms narrowed. I rolled my eyes sideways to avoid his gaze.
Honestly, I hadn't really thought of it as sad. It was a bit disappointing to know we wouldn't see each other for a while, but I wasn't terribly anxious or displeased like he was. That's understandable, since it's not like we're parting forever, right? Sometime in the distant future, I would return here anyway. Since it was just a brief parting for that future, I didn't feel any sadness.
I hesitated before parting my lips.
"Um... not really?"
At that answer, Vincent's face turned fierce.