# 13
13. The Viscount's Strange Guest (3)
"Why?"
"Only designated servants may enter the annex. Even then, only to their assigned areas at designated times. Step outside that timeframe, or set foot in the annex as an undesignated servant, and your head goes flying."
I had no idea. Certainly, aside from a few servants, I hadn't seen any others, but I never imagined access itself was restricted. Was it because of Vincent's condition...? I hadn't received any specific warning about where I couldn't go. Perhaps it was fine because I was the servant attending to him.
"Still, what a shame."
Lennika smacked her lips as if genuinely disappointed.
"If you'd like to send a letter, just tell me. I'll deliver it for you."
"Ahaha. Thank you."
After parting with Lennika, I headed down to the dining room for breakfast.
Originally, servants weren't supposed to use it, but there was no one using it anyway. Vincent refused to step out of his room, so he ate there, and besides him, there was no one else who would come. Or rather, I wasn't even sure if anyone else lived in this mansion. I'd never properly seen anyone, after all. That question had just been answered, though.
In any case, there was no one to say anything about it, so I used it comfortably.
But today, someone was there. A guest who had arrived early in the morning.
"Ah, I apologize."
"It's fine. Sit."
Seeing the potato in my hand, he gestured to the seat across from him. But I couldn't do that. Eating at the same table as a guest—if Lady Isabella saw that, she'd have a fit. Besides, I needed some time alone. Even a short while with that wretched master drained my energy bit by bit.
I bowed my waist.
"No, please enjoy your meal in peace."
"Don't go. I was already feeling awkward eating alone. I'd be delighted if you'd join me, miss."
But the guest was being clingy. I firmly shook my head. For my own sake.
"I couldn't. And please, feel free to speak casually."
"I'm of the mind to be courteous to women as a rule."
Ethan smiled gently and gestured to the opposite seat again. What a fine mindset. I admired it briefly and shook my head side to side.
"It's alright. I'll be going now."
"You mean to leave me behind?"
"Pardon?"
"To make me eat all alone like this, so lonely. Ah, no. Knowing I have to eat alone, the food just won't go into my mouth. I can't eat."
He finally set down his utensils. Openly displaying his disappointment.
"My appetite's gone too."
At his mumbled clinginess, I eventually sat down quietly across from him. Only then did Ethan smile with satisfaction and pick up his spoon to eat his soup. What a smooth talker. Vincent and he had such opposite personalities; I wondered how they'd ever become friends.
I also peeled my potato and took a bite. Even the potatoes here were delicious. But eating across from an uncomfortable companion, I couldn't tell if the potato was going into my nose or my mouth.
"The food tastes different when eating together."
"Does it now."
I answered half-heartedly while keeping an eye on the door. I was worried that Lady Isabella, or other servants who were here but I'd never seen, might come in. Or perhaps the chef might pass by and come in. Since it was a place with no signs of anyone.
Eating the potato with my nerves on edge only made my stomach feel bloated.
"How is Vincent? He seemed quite angry."
"He wasn't particularly angry."
"But he threw something."
"He does that often."
"Does he? Must be dangerous often then."
Yes, thanks to that I have many wounds. Still, compared to the atrocities he committed at first, he's been rather tame lately. I don't know what change of heart came over him, but his outbursts have decreased somewhat. That doesn't mean he stops throwing things. It just went from three times to two, and hard objects changed to soft ones.
As I was stuffing potato into my mouth, a sudden silence lingered. When the conversation cut off ambiguously, I cast my gaze from the door to him. Ethan was hesitating with his lips moving.
When I stared at him wondering what was wrong, he spoke again.
"Do you know as well, miss? I mean, about Vincent's current state."
"..."
I immediately clamped my mouth shut and gulped down the dry, clumped potato. From his tense gaze, I caught on to what he meant by 'Vincent's current state.' This side was originally hired to attend to the blind master.
Ethan also knew about Vincent's current state. I didn't know his intention in asking when he already knew, and since I couldn't tell whether I should feign ignorance, I stayed silent for now.
Perhaps taking my silence as affirmation, Ethan smiled bitterly.
"Lately, I've often heard word that the Velunita Viscount household is secretly hiring servants. There's even a strange rumor going around about how vicious the master must be that people keep quitting."
Listening attentively to his words, I nodded without realizing. Vicious, huh. That's accurate. Then I caught myself.
I glanced at Ethan and he grinned mischievously.
"Vincent must torment you a lot."
"No. He treats me kindly."
"You said he throws things often."
"Did I say that? That was a slip of the tongue. I apologize."
"My, even covering for such a master. You're truly a kind person."
"..."
I just shut my mouth and buried my nose in the potato. But he propped his chin on his hand and stared at me.
"How did you get hired? Did you come yourself?"
"The butler hired me."
Strictly speaking, I was sold here, but I didn't bother adding that explanation. Ethan nodded as if he knew who the butler here was.
"Vincent is quite stubborn, isn't he? Once he digs his heels in, no one can stop him."
"..."
Don't fall for it. That's a trap.
"Moreover, when someone goes against my opinion, oh how he shows his displeasure. Furrowing his brow, putting on that stiff face. Just when he seems calm, he always flips everything upside down."
"..."
Don't fall for it. Let it pass.
"In commoner terms, what was it again. Stubborn? Crap? Something like that."
"Craps-stubborn."
"Right. That. Fits perfectly, doesn't it?"
I couldn't refute that, so I affirmed it with silence. Ethan chuckled.
"Still, those were good times..."
Only bitterness remained on his face as the laughter gradually faded. He looked out the window. White clouds drifted lazily across the blue sky.
"You might not believe it, but he wasn't always like that at first. He couldn't leave the mansion, but he attended to his duties, took occasional walks in the garden, and even smiled often."
I already knew that from hearing about it. Though I couldn't imagine Vincent taking garden walks or attending to duties. Especially him smiling was even more unimaginable. The Vincent Velunita I knew was a man cowering in fear, curled up in the sheets on his bed inside his room. Afraid of eating, of taking a single step on the floor, even of breathing—that was all I knew of him.
"A few months ago, his letters suddenly stopped, he wouldn't answer when contacted, and he refused to see anyone I sent over. Given his condition, I was worried and came without thinking, and now I understand why."
I had no words to say to his bitter smile. Comforting words wouldn't come easily either. Because it wasn't a simple problem. Besides, I had no eloquence. I didn't expect mere consolation from a servant could ease his worry.
So this was my own way of showing sincerity.
"Don't worry too much. The master is trying as well."
His questioning gaze fell upon me. I bit into the remaining potato and spoke.
"He was suddenly made to live in darkness. How terrifying it must be. It must feel like being left alone in the world. If it were me, I'd want to die. Because you don't know who to trust or who to be wary of."
Let alone if someone swung a fist at him, he couldn't dodge it. Because he couldn't see. Things that were nothing to others came to him as terror. Going further, even if stabbed with a knife, he couldn't flee—that's what it meant.
Not knowing even as death approaches right before his eyes.
How horrific must that be.
Vincent trembling from nightmares last night came to mind. Saying his life was a failure, he had been fighting that fear. I wondered what I would do. The conclusion was the same. Even I would have been cowering in one place, trembling.
"But the master didn't die. He's so terrified that he convulses when someone tries to touch him, but he's still trying to live. He's fighting."
Of course, it wasn't that he didn't desire death. Vincent, who disliked being touched, didn't eat, didn't go outside, and only crouched on the bed, was waiting for death. At least in my eyes.
But when he had lost his sight yet still maintained his previous daily routine, he must have struggled to live. Even now, he could die if he bit his tongue. But he didn't do that. He has the will to live. That alone means he's making great effort, I think.
"Rather than this and that kind of comfort, just cheer for him in your heart. Sometimes silence can be better than comfort. Lord Christopher, you are not the master. Claiming to understand another's pain is an unfitting statement. How can someone else know my pain? It's not like you're going through it together."
In the end, I am only myself. Vincent had said something similar last time. I agreed. Understanding another's pain was just the barking of a dog. I cannot become Vincent. Unless I lose my sight in an accident, any comfort would only feel like pain to him. The same went for the man before me.
"Please wait. Wait for the master to overcome it."
"..."
Silence flowed for a while. No words came back. Ethan said nothing even as I cleaned up the eaten potato peels and dusted off my hands. When I finally looked up in wonder, Ethan was staring at me with a strange expression.
Why is he looking at me like that. Did I say something wrong?
"What is it?"
"Miss, you're really..."
Really? Really, what?
"You're honest."
"Pardon?"
"Should I say cold-hearted, you have a resolute side. You don't look it on the outside, but you're kinder than I thought."
Is that a compliment or a complaint? Unable to comprehend his words at all, I furrowed my brow. Ethan pondered for a moment before speaking again.
"Still, I can't just wait forever. I have something to deliver as well."
"If it's important, shall I deliver it for you?"
"That would work too, but I have a feeling it needs to be delivered directly for it to take effect."
He smiled gently and softly refused.
"With that in mind, I'd like to enter the room."
"You can only enter if the master permits."
"Can't it somehow work through your efforts, miss?"