# 106
106. Even Coincidence Seems Like Fate in the End (3)
Joeli stayed by Robert's side until late at night, but reluctantly got up due to the nanny's and Audrey's worries. I don't know how many times she looked back at Robert as she left the room. Her feelings for Robert were palpable.
After Joeli left, the nanny and I checked on Robert. Ethan also tried to stay, but seeing him nodding off, he seemed very tired, so I sent him back to his room.
Thus dawn approached. The lamplight from various lamps placed around the quiet room illuminated the darkness.
Except for the time Joeli watched over Robert alone, I coaxed the nanny who had stayed by Robert's side all day to rest on the sofa. She must have been very tired, as she soon started nodding off.
I moved carefully, adjusted the lamplight on the table, and covered the nanny with a blanket. Then I sat back down on the chair next to Robert's bed.
His face, still retaining heat, exhaled rough, hot breaths. His fever had gone down a bit compared to evening, but his condition was still not good.
I looked at Robert, then put my feet up on the edge of the chair and curled my body. The doctor said he would be fine, and others told me not to worry. I think nothing serious will happen.
But I couldn't put my mind at ease. What if Robert gets worse like this? Like my younger sibling... what if he gets worse?
Anxiety made my whole body tremble. The emotions that had sprouted once kept growing. The rough breathing coming from the darkness seemed to crush me like a heavy stone. I buried my face in my knees and tried to suppress my anxious mind.
"Mo...mmy, is..."
A feeble voice was heard then. When I quickly raised my head, Robert was blinking his eyes, looking at me, having woken up at some point. I lowered my legs from the chair and leaned closer to Robert.
"Yes, Ugly is right here."
Perhaps because I saw him regain consciousness, relief welled up inside me. I smiled softly and checked Robert's condition. Cold sweat formed in beads on his forehead and rolled down. I soaked a towel in the cold water from the basin and wiped his sweat.
"It hurts..."
"The pain will go away soon."
"Is Robert going to die now?"
"..."
The hand holding the towel flinched. My throat tightened. Because I didn't expect such words to come from that small mouth.
I heard he had been sick since he was born. He probably learned about pain even before learning about the world. Still, I didn't want to hear such words. Because Robert was still too young to be thinking about 'death.'
"You won't die."
"Won't die?"
"Yes. Absolutely not."
I wiped his sweat again with the towel and replied as nonchalantly as possible. Because I thought if I showed a frightened face, Robert would think of even worse things. I didn't want that small head to be filled with sad thoughts.
"My tummy is poking."
"Your tummy?"
Does it hurt? I glanced at his stomach covered by the sheet. Since I'm not a doctor, I wouldn't know just by looking. When I looked back at the nanny, she was still fast asleep. I hesitated for a moment, wondering whether to wake the nanny or call the doctor.
Looking at Robert's face again, there were no signs of pain. He was just blinking his eyes. When I asked "Does it hurt a lot?", he shook his head. I hesitated, then gently placed my hand on his small tummy.
"Pain, pain, fly away."
When I carefully stroked it, Robert's eyes went round.
"If you do this, the pain flies far away and a bird swallows it up."
It was a method I often used on my fourth sibling. The fourth sibling frequently had stomachaches. Because going hungry all day was common.
The food we barely managed to obtain was always our father's and Alicia's share. What was given to us was only the leftover food, and even that was often unavailable.
Whenever I got leftover bread from Uncle Mark's bakery, I would secretly feed it to my fourth sibling at night. Nevertheless, the fourth sibling grew thinner day by day. Their physical condition was so poor that even going outside was difficult. But other than me, no one took care of the fourth sibling who stayed at home.
After the bread brought from the bakery was discovered by our father and taken away, the hunger became even worse. The fourth sibling would often clutch their empty stomach, sobbing that it hurt.
Once, I saw a woman soothing a child who said they were in pain by rubbing their stomach, and I imitated that method, gently rubbing my fourth sibling's aching stomach. Even though doing this wouldn't make the hunger disappear, the fourth sibling would surrender to my touch and fall asleep. They did so until the day they died. Just like the second sibling.
Fly away, fly away. Let all my sibling's pain fly away. Fly far away and let a bird eat it up. Never come back to my sibling again. I stroked my sibling's cold, stiffened stomach and sent off the fourth sibling that way.
"Doesn't the bird go ouch?"
"It's a bird that eats such things, so it doesn't go ouch."
"Yeah. Doesn't go ouch."
The bird doesn't go ouch. Robert murmured softly and blinked his eyes. I rubbed his tummy in circles again.
"Tickles."
Robert squirmed and giggled.
"It doesn't poke anymore."
"That's a relief."
Even though I knew it had little effect, Robert said something nice to hear. I smiled bitterly and carefully examined Robert's complexion. I had planned to wake the nanny if his condition worsened, but fortunately, it didn't seem to be getting worse.
A child being sick is scary. Because they are weak. I stared intently at Robert's face. Robert, whose gaze met mine, opened his mouth.
"Read me a book."
"A book?"
When I asked back at the sudden words, he gave a small nod.
"When Robert is sick, Mother read me books."
"Ah, just a moment."
I looked around and got up. A few picture books were placed on the table. I picked them up, looked through them, and took one before sitting back down on the chair.
"It's a hero!"
Robert's eyes sparkled upon seeing the picture book in my hand. Since he's a boy, I thought he'd like adventure stories and chose one, but the response was even better than expected.
"Do you like adventure stories a lot?"
"Adven-what?"
"Ah, no. Do you like heroes, the hero?"
"Yeah! I like it! Heroes fight dragons and win! Heroes are strong!"
On the book cover stood a small-statured person with yellow hair holding a sword with a brave face. This person must be the hero. He seemed to like adventure stories, but among them, he probably likes fantasy with dragons.
Perhaps because of the yellow hair, he somehow resembled Robert.
"This hero looks just like you, young master."
"Huh? Robert is a hero?"
"Yes, a cool hero."
"Robert is cool?"
"Yes, a very cool and super super strong hero."
"Yeah, Robert is strong! Can even fight dragons! Like this, like this!"
Robert waved both hands in the air as if holding and swinging a sword. Does he like heroes that much? I chuckled and opened the book. And I began reading the book calmly.
Robert's eyes sparkled as he listened intently to my voice. It had been a while since I read a book to someone, so I was a little nervous, but fortunately, Robert's response wasn't bad. His face concentrating with his mouth slightly open was cute, so I smiled softly.
The picture book, with half its pages filled with colorful illustrations, was a story about a yellow-haired hero going to rescue a princess kidnapped by a dragon with a sword. The content was simple enough for a young child to understand.
When I had read about half the book, Robert suddenly shouted.
"Ugly should be a fairy!"
"A fairy?"
"Yeah. A fairy."
I wondered why he was saying something nice for once, but Robert raised his index finger and pointed somewhere.
I looked curiously around the book, then fixed my gaze on the cover. Something round was drawn on the upper part of the cover. It was so tiny you wouldn't notice unless you looked closely. It seemed like that small white round thing with pointy fur growing on it was the fairy.
"Ugly, a fur fairy."
"..."
Of course. I smiled emptily and looked at the fur fairy Robert pointed at. There wasn't even a face—just a single dot that seemed to be an eye.
"Haha, yes. I'll be a fur fairy."
"Then will you stay with Robert?"
"When fighting the dragon?"
"Yeah. When fighting the dragon."
The childlike innocent question was cute. At times like this, I should play along.
"Of course. I'll be by your side. Don't worry even if I'm so small that you can't see me well. There's a voice next to you that only you can hear, and that's me. Sometimes I'll be a fellow adventurer, a friend, family, anything. Even if you can't see me, I'll always be by your side."
When I deliberately played along with even more exaggeration, Robert's eyes sparkled brightly. Yay! He waved both hands wildly and squirmed around. I was startled and stopped his actions. He might get worse doing that.
Sure enough, Robert was panting roughly with an excited face.
"Young master, are you okay? Is your tummy poking again?"
"No! It doesn't poke!"
Robert shouted loudly. He even pretended to be fine. While examining his face shaking his head wildly, I patted his tummy again.
"Hmm... Young master...?"
A small groan was heard from behind. It seemed the nanny had woken up. The nanny, who was straightening her slumped body, discovered Robert with his eyes open and quickly got up and approached.
"Young master!"
"Nanny―"
Robert smiled brightly and waved one hand. The nanny bent down and tightly held that small hand. Soon her face contorted and she burst into tears.
The nanny had been anxious the whole time, worried something might go wrong after Robert collapsed. Seeing Robert wake up, she must have felt relieved, as she couldn't hold back her tears. Robert, who was watching the nanny sobbing with her forehead pressed against the back of her hand, seemed to understand her feelings and called out to the nanny while gently patting her head.
The nanny wiped her eyes and looked at me.
"When did he wake up?"
"About 30 minutes ago. But it seems his stomach hurts."
When I whispered softly, the nanny immediately checked Robert's condition. After carefully examining whether his stomach hurt a lot or if there was any other pain, she straightened up.
"I think it's because his stomach is empty. He barely ate breakfast because he was playing hide and seek."
"Should I bring something to eat?"
"I have something prepared. I'll go get it."
The nanny stroked the back of Robert's hand once and turned around. I watched her grab a lamp and head toward the door, then sat back down on the chair next to the bed. Then I pulled the sheet Robert was covered with up to his neck.
Robert whined, asking me to read the book again. I nodded and tried to read, but there was nothing in my hand. When I looked around, the book had fallen on the floor.
It was when I bent down to pick up the fallen book.
"Oh my, when did you arrive?"
The nanny's surprised voice pierced my ears. When I raised my head, someone was standing opposite the nanny who was holding the door open. The face illuminated by the dim lamplight slowly entered my vision. I opened my eyes wide.
When on earth did he arrive?
The person standing outside the door was Vincent.
"If you've come, why don't you come in instead of standing there like that?"
"..."
The nanny asked my question for me. But Vincent didn't answer. He just stood still, giving me his gaze.