*
cafe: The Association of Refined Moms in HN-dong
[Title: Guiding an Affectionate Four-Year-Old Gifted Child]
Posted by: Du Geuru
I am the guardian of a four-year-old girl.
My child is bright and has a strong desire for growth and altruism, so she sometimes lies or behaves recklessly.
Since she is more advanced than her peers, she clearly understands what I mean when I admonish her. However, to get out of the situation, she acts cute or apologizes, then begs me to hold or pat her.
When she clearly recognizes that she has done something wrong, would it be helpful to hold her and pat her?
She is already very sensitive to other people’s moods, so I would like to know how I should admonish her so that she will not become intimidated while also preventing her from repeating the same behavior.
[Comments]
IAmYourMother: At four, they’re so cute you can’t even bring yourself to scold them, lololol.
How are the grandparents, by any chance?
If the grandparents are strict, I’ve heard that some people let them handle the discipline for a while, lol.
My kid says Grandma and Grandpa are scary too, so they listen to them~~~
Du Geuru: It has not been long since I resumed contact with my grandfather, and he has never been of much help to begin with.
IAmYourMother: Ah… right… Everyone has their own circumstances these days…
Top1PercentGiftedMom: I guess that’s a characteristic of right-brained gifted children~ My child is also quite advanced, so I understandㅜㅜ My child is in the top 1% on the K-WPPSI~ They know exactly how to make Mommy and Daddy melt~ They’re terribly sly~!! Still, at least my child doesn’t cause trouble… You must be worried..^^
Du Geuru: Yes.
On Jurim: Admonishing her alone isn’t enough. Firm discipline is important!! You need to stop with all this “reading her feelings”!!
These days, everyone seems to avoid disciplining their children entirely in the name of protecting their self-esteem. I’m honestly worried;;
Du Geuru: Why is your nickname On Jurim? What does “reading her feelings” mean?
On Jurim: Huh? It happened to be on TV, so I just went with it…
Du Geuru: It was merely a personal question of no importance. Please do not concern yourself with it. Since I do not know what “reading her feelings” means, I do not do it either. As your answer was not a proper response, I hope others will leave comments.
On Jurim: Excuse me, Du Geuru-mom.
Du Geuru: I am not a mom.
On Jurim: What are you doing right now, Du Geuru-momㅡ,.ㅡ Are you trying to pick a fight or something?;;
Du Geuru: I said I am not a mom because I am not one. Is that a problem?
On Jurim: Then I suppose you’re the father.. No wonder—you even talk like a man. Good grief..
Du Geuru: I am neither the father nor the mother. I am the guardian.
On Jurim: Excuse me ㅡ,.ㅡ;; Are you kidding me?
Du Geuru: Which part seemed like a joke to you?
On Jurim: No… You are talking about your daughter, right?
Du Geuru: Correct. As stated in the original post, I am talking about the four-year-old girl I am raising.
On Jurim: But why are you going on about being her “guardian” when she’s your daughter??? I really don’t know what kind of bizarre pseudo-parenting theory Du Geuru-mom has picked up! Don’t act like that in front of the child!!
At four years old, Mom and Dad are their entire world. Telling a daughter like that that you’re neither her mother nor her father?? That you’re merely her guardian??? How confused do you think the child must be with that attitude!! It would be better for the adult to correct their own attitude before worrying about disciplining the child!!
ENFP Mom: Du Geuru-mom, are you perhaps a T?
Du Geuru: My tier is S.
*
Park Mirim, whose mom-cafe nickname was On Jurim, pressed the Enter key hard after leaving a lengthy comment.
She had responded to Du Geuru, the mom-cafe villain who had suddenly appeared.
She had gotten a bad feeling from the very first comment, when Du Geuru had started picking a fight over her nickname being On Jurim.
‘Are you a fan of On Jurim or something?’
She had only chosen the name On Jurim because she thought it was amusing that the last syllable of her name matched something.
And that wasn’t all. With an irritating manner of speaking, the person had brazenly insisted on being neither a mother nor a father, but merely a guardian.
How could anyone treat their daughter like that?
Whether Du Geuru was a mom, a papa, or a guardian, Mirim was worried whether someone with that kind of mentality could raise a child properly.
Just then, her daughter Haeri ran into the kitchen and wrapped herself around Mirim’s waist.
“Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, what are you doing?”
“We have to eat dinner soon. What about your toys? Did you put them all away?”
“Yep! Where’s Daddy?”
“Daddy’s going to be late. Let’s eat dinner just the two of us today.”
“Okay. Oh, Mommy. Geuru said she wants to see you tomorrow. You have to come looking pretty.”
“Geuru did?”
Geuru was Haeri’s friend from kindergarten.
Mirim still felt indebted to that child because, after Haeri had bullied Geuru at kindergarten, the school had cautioned her and asked the family to guide her at home as well.
When Mirim asked the kindergarten to put her in touch with Geuru’s parents so she could apologize, all she received in response was, “It has already been resolved at school, so there is no need for personal contact. There is no reason for adults to exchange apologies over something that happened between children…”
“Oh, I see…”
Even hearing it secondhand from the teacher, Mirim could sense the cold distance.
All she had heard was that Geuru had been in foster care and had recently been adopted by a good family.
‘Is this really okay?’
If it had been any other family, they would have called right away.
Mirim herself was fretting anxiously, yet Geuru’s family—the family of the child who had actually been bullied—felt dry and brittle, like sand.
She was faintly worried about whether Geuru would be all right in her adoptive home.
“All right, Mommy always goes out looking pretty. Haeri, come out for a bit. Mommy needs to pack this.”
Park Mirim hurriedly put the set of storybooks she had bought for the next day into a bag.
*
The next day.
Among the mothers of the Chick Class, Jurim sat languidly in a child-sized chair.
Everyone kept stealing glances at the tall man awkwardly folded into the tiny chair.
“I… It seems we were insufficiently prepared on our end!”
Jeong Yuni, the homeroom teacher of Saebom Kindergarten’s Chick Class, turned pale as she pulled out her own chair.
“Guild Master On, please sit here.”
“I’m fine.”
He looked anything but fine.
Among the petite mothers, Jurim truly looked as though he had been folded up.
“I think it would be better if you sat over here…”
“Yes, please do that.”
“Please sit over here, Guild Master On.”
Only after all the mothers urged him to sit did Jurim slowly rise and take a seat in a full-sized chair.
As though accustomed to the attention directed at him, he calmly crossed his legs and fiddled with his phone.
The man who least matched the kindergarten’s bright, colorful surroundings possessed an even more overwhelming destructive force in person than he did on a screen.
Since the mothers could not tear their eyes away from Guild Master On, Yuni decided she had better finish quickly before he shattered a whole host of perfectly happy families.
“Then please sit here and wait comfortably for a moment.”
As Yuni headed toward the front of the classroom, Park Mirim arrived late, carrying a thick shopping bag.
“Hello. I’m Haeri’s mother.”
“Haeri’s mother, welcome. You can sit in the back.”
“Um, did Geuru’s parents come as well? I wanted to say hello and apologize for what happened last time.”
“Ah… Geuru’s father… He did come.”
“Her father?”
Since weekdays had to be taken off work, it was usually the mothers who came to the kindergarten on days like this. It was unusual enough for a father to come alone that Mirim was somewhat surprised.
“You’ll know when you see him. Over there…”
In the direction Yuni pointed, a lone man sat with his legs crossed, looking at his phone.
After confirming his face, Park Mirim blinked twice.
“…?”
With a dazed expression, Mirim looked back at the teacher, as if asking whether that really was him.
Yuni nodded to confirm it.
“Guild Master On Jurim is Geuru’s father.”
Stunned by information she had never heard before, Mirim looked down at her daughter.
“Haeri, why didn’t you tell me that was Geuru’s family…?”
“Huh? You never asked, Mommy!”
Why would she ask that? Mirim clutched her chest as she stared at her daughter.