Chapter 94. < 37. You're the Best, Master Lumian! (4) >
After hearing Lumian's words, Tania stared at his eyes for a long while without speaking.
She had many things she wanted to say. But her thoughts weren't organized in her head, so she couldn't open her mouth.
She began to calmly sort through her thoughts one by one.
'Among countless knight aspirants, only a few can reach the realm of Expert.'
A cold, hard fact.
Even among them, most people awaken only after their 30s.
Reaching Expert before turning 30 was extremely rare, and in a small country like Tarazan, it was hard to even find such a case. The current head of the Cronen Marquis House was said to have reached Expert at 24, wasn't he?
'But you're saying I could have become an Expert?'
With talent greater than Philip III, who drew out an Aura Sword at 17?
"Hahaha......."
Tania let out a laugh.
It was a laugh that felt completely devoid of strength.
"What are you saying right now?"
"Exactly what I said. Senior, you could have become a Sword Expert. Long ago."
"Make some sense."
"Why do you think it doesn't make sense? Look, you still don't believe in yourself right now."
Tania closed her eyes and pressed her hand against her forehead.
It felt like dealing with a child who wouldn't listen to reason, but she held back her frustration and tried to work through her thoughts.
"I'm not a negative person, but I'm not an absurd idealist either. You think I don't believe in myself? That I lack confidence? No. What you're saying is overconfidence. If you're doing this to cheer me on, stop. It's too much."
Lumian didn't back down.
Rather, he rebutted with an even stronger tone than Tania's, a voice that even contained burning heat.
"If someone who can do 1 hopes for 10, that's overconfidence. But if someone who can do 20 or 30 only hopes for 10, that's self-doubt."
"Huu. Now stop......"
"Karl Cronen, of course, and Theorolan Boomer too are aiming to become Experts before graduating from the Academy. They say every day that they'll become Sword Masters before age 30. Do you think they're idiots for that?"
"They are idiots. Idiots drunk on talent who don't know reality."
"No. From what I see, the idiot is you, Senior."
"Why you......!"
Tania flared up.
She fully understood that he was saying this for her sake, but this was going too far.
She didn't want to continue the conversation any longer. So she was about to snap at him with an even stronger tone, but Lumian cut her off again.
"I'll show you evidence."
"......."
A statement that couldn't help but spark interest.
Though faint anger still remained, when he went that far, she had no choice but to hear the rest. She quietly sent her gaze as a sign that she would listen.
However, instead of speaking, Lumian approached her.
Tania made a flustered expression seeing him move behind her somehow, when she felt an unfamiliar sensation on her back.
It was Lumian's hand.
While she was startled, Lumian spoke in a calm voice.
"I'm going to let a little of my aura flow in now."
"......."
"You don't need to circulate energy, just close your eyes and focus inside. Especially on the aura in your dantian."
A voice somewhat lower than usual. A weighty sense of trust was felt.
Tania stopped trying to argue and closed her eyes with a slightly flushed face. Then she focused on her dantian as Lumian instructed.
After a while, Lumian's energy slowly flowed in. Tania let out a low groan.
She had felt it earlier too, but it was an incredibly harmonious energy.
Normally when another person's aura enters, it tends to clash with one's own, but nothing like that happened at all. In her comfortable mind, she carefully observed Lumian's energy.
His energy, which had been moving slowly, entered the dantian following the passageway. Then it spread thinly and widely. Perhaps because she wasn't focusing on energy circulation, she could grasp the flow of energy in more detail than before.
That's why she could feel it.
Something hard surrounding the inside of her dantian.
The fact that something whose identity she hadn't even known until now was quietly holding its breath.
"This is......?"
"It's Senior Tania's aura. It's sleeping right now. Or rather than saying it's sleeping......"
Lumian's energy very gently tapped the wall of aura. Even so, it didn't budge in the slightest.
"It would be better to say it's like a wall that defines Senior's limits."
"......."
Lumian moved his energy a bit more after that. So that Tania could better feel the energy sleeping inside her body.
About 10 minutes passed like that. He smoothly withdrew his aura and moved back to his spot.
Then he looked at Tania's eyes.
Her pupils were trembling.
"Do you understand now?"
"......What?"
"How much aura is sleeping inside Senior's body. And how that aura is being used."
"......."
"Senior, you're creating limits yourself, building walls. You're pouring your strength into that, unable to display even a third of the ability you actually possess."
Tania didn't open her mouth.
It wasn't that there was no agitation. Rather, the shock was so great that she reached a state where she couldn't say anything at all.
'Me, I was creating limits myself?'
She had never thought that way before.
Rather, she thought she had consistently performed beyond her limits.
No one expected her to pick up a sword.
No one thought she would have talent.
No one thought she would achieve top of her grade.
Every time she broke people's prejudices, she pretended to be nonchalant on the outside, but no one would know how happy she was in her dorm room when no one was around.
But.
'I myself had prejudices about me too?'
She couldn't easily admit it.
However, Lumian's words continued without stopping.
"I don't know exactly why Senior couldn't believe in herself. It could be that you fitted your possibilities to others' prejudices, or you restrained yourself too much to avoid arrogance, or perhaps the environment was narrow."
"......."
"But from now on, you can't do that. You can't be satisfied with being top of the grade, you can't be satisfied with being the best in the Academy, you can't be satisfied with being the best in Tarazan. You need to take a much, much wider world as your competition."
"......Can I be alone for a bit?"
Tania murmured quietly after hearing all of Lumian's words.
Confusion could be felt in her stiff expression. She added one more phrase.
"For a moment, I want to organize my thoughts alone. Sorry."
Lumian nodded.
He got up from his seat and approached the door.
Before going out, he looked back at Tania and spoke softly.
"See you tomorrow, Senior."
Thud.
A voice that left a lingering impression.
Tania gazed at the spot where he had disappeared.
After staying like that for a while, she murmured with a sigh.
"What should I do......"
***
"Haa."
Lumian, who had slipped out of the girls' dormitory, sighed. Seeing his face that looked somehow heart-sore, the nearby girls whispered among themselves.
But he didn't have the leisure to pay attention to such things.
Right now, Lumian's head was filled only with worry about Tania.
'It must be hard. To overcome it.'
He knows. He knows well.
Though not exactly the same as her, he too had experienced similar things in his past life.
'It was about three years after becoming an Expert......'
At that time, he was receiving severe checks from various people.
Despite being a lowly born eunuch, he had reached the realm of Expert in his late teens. It was only natural that envy and jealousy, prejudice and malice would concentrate on him.
'To think he acts high and mighty without even having equipment down there.'
'At best, that's probably his limit. How many people shine briefly in the beginning and then disappear?'
'With slow muscle development, can he even rise to higher realms?'
'You never know. It might be possible if he learns Rodia's aura cultivation method!'
'Hahahaha, that sounds plausible!'
Of course, knights who knew honor didn't speak ill of him, but like most people, Lumian too was accepting only the negative evaluations more greatly.
A slump came because of that. The Lumian of that time was trapped in countless words that belittled him and was depreciating his own possibilities.
That this was his limit.
That doing just this much was already doing well.
That for someone without equipment down there, he had done reasonably well in advancing.
Like that, he lived day by day in resignation. About a year passed in such times.
There was one person who gave him words of encouragement.
'Sir Ryan, brighten your expression and have confidence.'
'......Your Highness the Crown Prince.'
'What is there to bow your head for? Please show me your hand here.'
It was none other than the young Knight King, Philip III.
Even with a fresh face only seven years old, he was a child who knew how to wear a dignified expression.
At the Crown Prince's stern command, Lumian had no choice but to extend his hand.
Then he, gripping his two fingers tightly, said this.
'All knights of Zenas must be the best, and must behave as befits the best.'
'.......'
'Walk proudly. Walk with your chest out. And make the noses flat of those unworthy of being knights who mock you behind your back.'
'Y-Your Highness......'
'It's a command as Crown Prince. You must absolutely keep it.'
The young Knight King who finished speaking showed a childlike smile and departed on his short legs.
It was from that time.
That he decided to devote his life to his lord, and that he showed a crazed growth rate.
'I don't know what environment Tania grew up in, what situation she's in.'
It was regrettable.
If he had known that, he could have given her greater help. He didn't know that much about Tania.
But that didn't mean he couldn't do anything.
Lumian nodded with a face full of determination.
'Though I won't be able to match even half of half of the warmth my lord gave me......'
Still, if he could play a similar role even if lacking. Then wouldn't he be able to melt her wall?
'Alright. Let's somehow make that happen.'
Having made up his mind, Lumian quickly returned to his quarters.
And he began thinking of various words that could instill confidence in her. He also refined the guidance process in more detail.
As a result, time flew by and dawn came, but he didn't feel tired at all.
Rather, his eyes were twinkling. He was full of enthusiasm to somehow help Tania.
But contrary to such efforts.
"I, I'll try hard."
"Huh? Pardon?"
"I said I'll try hard."
From the mouth of Tania, whom he met early in the morning, positive words flowed out.
Lumian wore a dazed expression at her words that defied his expectations.
Perhaps that was funny, Tania covered her mouth and laughed.
"Heh heh, why. Surprised that the attitude changed completely in just a day?"
"N-no? Huh? No, I mean...... um."
After stumbling over his words for a moment, Lumian made an awkward expression.
Scratching the back of his head, he chuckled and confessed honestly.
"Honestly, a little?"
"Huu, actually I still don't know. By your standards, I think I won't be able to believe in myself for a while longer."
What is this now?
Lumian stared blankly at Tania.
Just now she said she would try hard, so why is she spouting negative words again?
But her words weren't finished yet.
She kicked a stone on the ground and continued speaking.
"The idea that I have better talent than Karl Cronen, than the geniuses of the continent...... even than the Knight King in his childhood, I just can't believe it at all. No matter how positively, how generously I try to think, I can't. It's hard to have that much confidence."
"But......"
"So instead, I'm going to believe in you."
"......Me?"
Lumian asked back with a dumb expression.
Tania, who smiled brightly, nodded.
"Yeah. It's a bit hard for me to believe in myself...... but I think I can believe in you. Because you're the master who dragged me up to here in just one week."
"......."
"You're believing in me, in my possibilities, firmly like iron and stone. If I believe in someone like that, wouldn't it be similar to believing in myself? Why, is it burdensome?"
"N-no. I was just a bit surprised......"
It was exactly as she said.
Actually, he was planning to say something similar.
That if she couldn't believe in herself, she should believe in him who believed in her. That if she believed and followed, he would make her absolutely reach the realm of Sword Expert within this year.
He was going to declare like that. Until just a moment ago.
But having his words stolen like this, he didn't have a clue how to respond.
'I wanted to show something cooler and more reliable......'
Lumian continued to stand in an awkward posture.
Tania, who was looking at him like that, clenched her fist and struck his abdomen.
He quickly came to his senses and let out an exaggerated sound.
"Aack!"
"Don't space out and let's quickly move to the next progress, Master?"
"......It might get a bit harder from here on, is that okay?"
"Of course it's okay. Because I believe in Master Lumian!"
"Ah, but the expression Master is a bit......"
"Why? Are you embarrassed, Master?"
"Ah, please stop......"
"Hahahahaha!"
Tania laughed heartily and picked up a sword from the weapon display.
It was much heavier than the sword she had used through 1st year, 2nd year, and 3rd year first semester.
She took her stance and looked at Lumian.
"Let's start quickly, Master?"
"......If my disciple keeps being that cheeky, you're really going to get it big time."
Lumian scolded with a stern voice.
However, both he and Tania had smiles blooming on their faces.
And 3 weeks later.
The second semester midterm evaluation was two days away.