[Episode 4]
‘What?’
What was Evan’s intention in saying that Dietrich was a name well-suited for a burly man with a large scar on his face who looked like he could beat a bear to death with his bare hands? I had to rack my brains.
Evan, who had been looking at me with sunken eyes that seemed to ripple with a watery light somewhere within, soon seemed to notice my crutch. Watching Evan’s eyes widen, I thought that the inevitable had come.
“Your leg….”
“Yes, it’s just… well….”
“…….”
“…….”
Ignoring the gaze that was clearly demanding a more detailed explanation, I vaguely mumbled and trailed off. I didn’t want to insist on talking with Evan only to run into people from Count Erexion’s household.
Uncomfortable with the awkward silence, I looked toward the academy’s clock tower in the distance, pretending to have just noticed it.
“Ah, it’s already so late…. My coachman is waiting, so I’ll be on my way now….”
I bowed politely again and stepped away, but Evan hurriedly followed.
“Let me escort you.”
“I’m fine.”
Though I had refused hastily, I wondered if I had seemed a bit cold, or if I had needlessly offended him by refusing the goodwill of the count’s second son.
But still, I didn’t want to walk with Evan and be noticed by the count’s people. Because I didn’t particularly want to hear words like, ‘That vulgar liar bloodline who dared to deceive the count’s family.’
I hurried toward where the carriages were gathered at the fastest speed possible, as if doing a three-legged race with my crutch. Evan’s gaze watching me from behind seemed to follow me tenaciously.
After taking the exam, it was a continuous wait.
Whether enduring the pain rising from my broken leg, memorizing the empire’s history—which I had never heard before in my life—by sheer force, or enduring the loneliness that surged up occasionally even while surrounded by kind people, none of it was as tormenting as that wait.
At first, under the pretext of adapting to an unfamiliar place, and afterward, busily preparing for academy entrance to erase my anxiety, it was only now, when there was nothing left to immerse myself in, that the worries I had deferred came flooding in like a tidal wave.
‘What happened to the real me? If I just died right there on the company stairs… what am I going to do?’
‘Can I go back? Even if I go back, even if I haven’t died, if too much time has already passed in reality….’
‘Is going to the academy the right choice? Should I find another way even now, no, what if I had failed the entrance exam before that….’
Overwhelmed by the suffocating helplessness that felt like a boulder placed on my chest, tears welled up and flowed even when I tried to quietly fall asleep.
Whenever such feelings came, I cried and started chopping firewood again.
I chopped and chopped and chopped until the anxiety and thoughts disappeared, and when the morning sun began to rise, I would fall asleep as if fainting.
It was around the time I wondered if I should go to the mountain to cut trees since there was no more firewood to chop. Seeing the butler approaching hurriedly with an unusually brisk gait while wearing a beaming smile, I had a hunch.
‘I did it.’
Immediately, the news spread throughout the territory that the Viscount Degoff’s daughter had passed the academy, and as the runner-up at that. The villagers held a celebratory feast as if it were a birthday party with the actual guest of honor present.
***
If old coachman Hans hadn’t helped, I would have struggled for a long time moving my luggage to the dormitory. Hans, upon learning that Dietrich had passed the academy as the runner-up, insisted that he absolutely had to drive this time and staged a sit-in in the carriage; in the end, he earned another trip to the capital.
As someone who knew Hans’s driving skill, it was a welcome development.
The village craftsmen showed off their skill and gifted me accessories made from jewels removed from the count’s dress and low-heeled shoes tailored for my uncomfortable leg. Though they now lived in a humble territory, perhaps it wasn’t an exaggeration to say they were craftsmen who once dominated the capital; the accessories they handed over contained a classical beauty.
“You’ll do well. If your heart feels heavy or you need us, write to us anytime.”
Pretending to be composed as I watched Dietrich’s foster parents with reddened eyes, I seemed to overlap them with my parents who had once sent me off in such a way. I hurriedly climbed into the carriage. It was a good day, and I didn’t want to show them me crying.
Unlike the last time when I had studied frantically, there was nothing particular to do inside the carriage, so I mulled over the things I had sworn to keep in mind before entering the academy.
First, absolutely don’t stand out. Don’t do anything memorable to the people of this academy. Don’t get involved in troublesome matters.
From the moment I became the runner-up, it seemed like I had already failed, but I consoled myself that being the runner-up wouldn’t actually leave that great of an impression.
‘Who remembers second place?’
…Or do they? Do they remember? Actually, being the runner-up is quite impressive, though….
My brain, marinated in Korea’s overheated competition, couldn’t quite tell if my perspective on evaluating second place was objective. After debating it with myself for a while, I decided to postpone the argument for the moment since there was simply no answer.
Anyway, I absolutely must not do anything unexpected or attention-worthy. If I thought about going back to my original world and suddenly finding myself promoted to team leader for some reason, with the division chief calling me separately to buy me an expensive meal while pushing a project I’d never heard of before and asking me to do a good job again, and the chairman’s son—whom I’d only seen in the media—looking at me with amused eyes….
I would want to bite my tongue and die. I had to prevent that at all costs.
Second, absolutely do not go against the original story’s flow. My goal was ultimately to return Dietrich’s body to him and go back to reality as soon as possible.
Honestly, I was much more confident about this than the first goal.
The main pillar of the original novel was, fittingly for a romance novel, the protagonist Roxanne falling in love with Crown Prince Elius. Compared to my own views on romance, it was obvious that Elius, who would end up with Roxanne, and the other characters could never make my heart flutter.
It was as if all the brightness and positive energy of this world had been poured into the protagonist Roxanne; except for her, every character had somewhere about them that was dark and fishy. So there would be no getting close to them.
Repeating the motto, ‘A healthy mind for a healthy romance,’ I stretched.
Though if there was one thing bothering me about following the original exactly….
It was probably that Dietrich had taken his own life in the original. However, that was a problem I could solve on my end.
‘It’s suicide, so as long as I don’t do it, that’s that.’
If it wasn’t being murdered by someone or dying in an accident, but suicide, then it was an avoidable problem. I just had to not die.
‘For now, as long as I’m possessing this body, that will absolutely never happen. I don’t particularly want to commit suicide.’
Above all, committing suicide in someone else’s body seemed no different from murder.
‘Finally, I enter the academy tomorrow.’
…To think I have to go to school again at my age. Suppressing the self-loathing that washed over me belatedly, I gazed at the scenery rapidly passing by outside the window.
***
“Evan Erexion!”
When the name of the Imperial Academy’s incoming class representative, the top student, was called, I belatedly remembered that Evan had been the top student in the original. When I looked to where the students’ gazes were directed, I saw heads of hair in all sorts of colorful hues.
‘So human hair can even grow pink. How fascinating.’
However, making such sentiments feel hollow, what drew the eye among the new students with rainbow-colored hair was the towering silver-haired Erexion walking toward the podium.
As I had heard, silver hair was rare in this world and stood out wherever one went; I could tell at a glance even before he stepped onto the podium. Watching him walk, receiving everyone’s gazes all at once, I thought once again how fortunate it was that I hadn’t become the top student and stroked my chest in relief.
With the final announcement that the entrance ceremony ball would be held in the grand hall, the entrance ceremony concluded.
‘The ceremony itself should’ve been enough; why do we need a ball on top of that….’
The academy held an imperial-led entrance ball for new students every year. Having always hated recreation time during school trips and loathed karaoke sessions at company dinners to death, it was nothing but distressing to me. Of course, attendance wasn’t mandatory, so I didn’t have to go….
“I made this thinking of the days when you would attend balls, including your debutante ball.”
The blue dress the viscountess had made for me, carefully kept in one corner of my bag, seemed to poke at something in my heart.
“Even though I can’t show her this appearance, I should wear it out at least once.”
Trying to put it on alone without anyone to help, I struggled for a while, but eventually managed to get dressed safely and check my posture.
But since I had gone about in a completely bare-faced state after the possession, putting on makeup felt quite awkward. I didn’t even have proper cosmetics. Before entering the academy, I had idly hovered around a shop wondering if I should buy at least one cosmetic item, but I felt embarrassed for no reason and gave up. At least my hair, slightly disheveled from putting on the dress, shimmered and stood out radiantly after I brushed it diligently.
‘I may look a bit haggard, but I’m not the protagonist today.’
Today, I was an extra, not even a supporting role. Going by movie credit order, I was off to play the role of ‘Noble 17,’ whose name would be listed in a clump at the very bottom below the lead, supporting cast, and special appearances.
Reaffirming my goal, I left the dormitory. There was still quite some time before the ball began.
‘If I go late, I’ll stand out, so I should hurry and secure a corner seat.’
As I slowly moved my steps, someone suddenly snatched my hand at the end of a dark corridor.
“Found you.”
It was an unfamiliar voice.