Episode 86. I, Who Stepped Back for the First Time
Guangming Zuoshi, watching my pointed finger, wore a nasty smirk.
I was taken aback for a moment.
When Guangming Zuoshi whispered something to the beautiful woman beside him, the two of them looked at me together and laughed. That she would mock me alongside him—this was the sixth time my blood boiled. Suddenly, someone ran over from where Guangming Zuoshi stood and asked me,
“Young Master.”
Some young attendant had called out to me.
“What.”
The attendant came close and whispered in my ear.
“The young master over there invites you to drink with him. There is one more woman in our young master’s party. It is a drinking party with paired men and women.”
I glared at the attendant and replied.
“Why me?”
The attendant grinned and said.
“He said you’re the best-looking one among the onlookers.”
“Bullshit.”
When I turned my head, the woman who had been with Guangming Zuoshi was nowhere to be seen. As I withdrew from the crowd of onlookers and looked around like a country bumpkin, Guangming Zuoshi approached with a woman on each arm.
Guangming Zuoshi, snickering, spoke to me.
“Shall we share a drink together?”
The woman butted in without hesitation.
“Drink with us. Xue’er, what do you think?”
The newly appeared woman named Xue’er looked me up and down and smiled.
“I would like that too.”
I looked at the three of them and thought,
‘These crazy bastards.’
Guangming Zuoshi narrowed his eyes and said.
“There is nothing to fear. They are good girls.”
It was nothing much, yet I could feel the caliber of an extraordinary deviant.
It didn’t take deep thought to realize that Guangming Zuoshi intended to fleece me, trusting in his own martial prowess, eloquence, and clever mind.
Like hell it was a paired drinking party…….
To see what game the Zuoshi was playing, I nodded.
“Let’s go.”
Without even exchanging names, I found myself sharing a table with a lecher and the women who rolled around with him. It was something even I hadn’t expected. But what mattered was not drinking—it was that I had finally met the Zuoshi.
* * *
A drinking table was prepared in a private space enclosed by folding screens. Perhaps because this was a tavern the Zuoshi frequented, everything from entry to seating was remarkably natural.
The women ordered an enormous amount of alcohol and side dishes. In an instant, so many drinking snacks were laid out that there was no empty space left on the table.
The woman named Xue’er spoke from beside me.
“Please, have a drink.”
The Zuoshi asked me.
“Is this your first time here?”
“Why?”
“There are no men who stare at me that long in a place like this. Women, maybe, but not men. We seem to be about the same age, so speak freely.”
The woman beside the Zuoshi introduced those at the drinking table.
“This is Menglang oppa, I am Xiaoyue, and the one beside you is called Xue’er. And you, Young Master?”
They were all aliases.
“I am Gwangcheol. Gongcheol’s older brother.”
Xue’er asked with a bewildered expression.
“Who is Gongcheol?”
The Zuoshi raised his cup and said.
“Now, now, drink. We’ve had enough of these pointless introductions. What use is a name? What use is a background? One must drink and get drunk for the true faces of men and women to show.”
Menglang, Xiaoyue, Xue’er, and I—now Gwangcheol—drank as well.
I swallowed the alcohol as slowly as possible and studied the three’s expressions and eyes. Yet I was not the only one studying the others; the three of them were doing the same.
Judging by the way we drank, our breathing and bearing, and our upright postures with ramrod-straight backs, all four of us had realized that everyone present was versed in martial arts.
The Zuoshi asked Xue’er.
“Xue’er, do you like Gwangcheol?”
Xue’er nodded and smirked.
“Yes.”
“Then how far can you go today?”
“Oppa, why are you in such a hurry?”
“Hahaha.”
I blinked my eyes for a moment as I listened. Had code words just been exchanged? Useless nonsense went back and forth as the cups circulated three times without rest.
Just as I was about to drink my fourth cup in a row, the Zuoshi stood up and said.
“I’m going to step out and relieve myself for a moment. We should drink properly today.”
“Please go and come back.”
As the Zuoshi went outside, Xiaoyue also spoke to Xue’er in a brazen tone.
“Let’s go too.”
“All right.”
I chuckled, grabbed Xue’er’s wrist as she got up, pulled her back down, and said.
“Our Xue’er should drink one more before going.”
Xue’er replied with a flustered expression.
“Huh?”
I jerked my chin toward Xiaoyue and said.
“You go first.”
Xiaoyue replied with a stiff expression.
“Ah, yes.”
The moment Xiaoyue disappeared, I glared at Xue’er. Xue’er spoke with a dumbfounded expression.
“Why are you looking at me so scarily all of a sudden?”
I grabbed the wine cup and infused it with Flame Realm internal energy. In an instant, the alcohol bubbled and boiled as if mirroring my heart.
“This is your first time seeing fire wine like this, isn’t it? I’ll make sure you drink this down properly.”
Xue’er replied with startled eyes.
“Ah, I don’t want it.”
Just before Xue’er sprang up from her seat, I reached out and struck her acupoints in succession.
Thwack!
I took out a small medicine container that Murong Bai had passed me from inside my robes, twisted the lid open, and lightly mixed the powdered medicine into the fire wine.
What is this?
Murong Bai, saying that time was too short to craft proper poison, had exerted his skill to deliver a colorless and odorless laxative. Though I am quite experienced in the jianghu, this was my first time seeing a colorless and odorless laxative. Even mixed into alcohol, the color did not change, nor did the smell; this was the finest laxative in the jianghu.
I poured the fire wine mixed with Murong Bai’s laxative into Xue’er’s mouth.
“If you don’t want the antidote, try to tough it out however you can. When that happens, you’re dead. Got it?”
I looked at my hand and saw that the powder on my face was smeared messily across it. After wiping it on Xue’er’s pretty clothes, I also sprinkled the colorless and odorless laxative into the Zuoshi’s and Xiaoyue’s cups.
Only then did the Zuoshi and Xiaoyue, with somewhat stiff expressions, hurry back. The Zuoshi looked at me as he sat down.
“What’s with the atmosphere?”
I said to the Left Envoy in an icy tone.
“Hey, you son of a bitch, you gisaeng’s pretty-boy brother.”
“What?”
“Were you trying to saddle a country bumpkin with the drinking bill and run? Are you a child? You pay for the drinks.”
The Left Envoy replied with a snicker.
“What kind of nonsense is this all of a sudden? You really do have a twisted personality, being a country bumpkin and all. To think I’d have to listen to this kind of abuse.”
With a displeased expression, I drank a cup of the perfectly fine liquor, then let slip just enough intent to make it seem as if I would clash with the Left Envoy at any moment.
When I stared at the Left Envoy and Sowol as if I would kill them, the Left Envoy and Sowol picked up the cups mixed with laxative. Even then, the Left Envoy lowered his eyes, checked the color and fragrance of the liquor again and again, then drank.
Only after emptying his cup did the Left Envoy notice that Seol-a’s condition was strange.
“What’s wrong with you?”
I explained.
“I mistook her for trying to run away, so I sealed her acupoint.”
The Left Envoy also began to reveal his temper as he said,
“You did something useless. Release her.”
I replied while taking a sip of liquor.
“I’m a country bumpkin, so I never learned how to release them. You do it.”
The Left Envoy sprang to his feet, groped Seol-a’s upper body far too much, then tapped two or three spots with his hand. In that instant, a cry of “Aak!” came from Seol-a’s mouth, and she fainted on the spot.
The Left Envoy looked at me with an expression of disbelief.
“You really must be desperate to die. Sowol, you take care of Seol-a and pay the bill. This bastard is looking down on me.”
“Yes, Orabeoni.”
The Left Envoy jerked his chin and said to me,
“You, follow me outside. Running won’t do you any good.”
For the first time in a long while, I left the tavern walking side by side with the Left Envoy. Beside me, the Left Envoy spoke in a calm tone.
“Looks like you came looking for a fight, but I’m starting to get tired of people like you. Who sent you?”
Sensing that the Left Envoy’s tone had suddenly grown extremely arrogant, I replied,
“Gongcheol sent me.”
“Who is Gongcheol?”
“The guy with the broken arm.”
“Ah. That cripple.”
The Left Envoy let out a snort of laughter.
Suddenly, as he was leading me to a place without people, the Left Envoy beat his chest with his hand. When I glanced over, his complexion was growing paler by the moment. The Left Envoy abruptly shot forward and stabbed his fingers into various points on his abdomen.
Whipping around, the Left Envoy glared at me with murderous eyes.
“You poisoned it?”
I was about to answer when the Left Envoy closed the distance in an instant and thrust out a palm strike without warning.
Thwack!
After our palm strikes collided, we stared at each other.
The Left Envoy’s face was already deathly pale. It was shocking enough that I had received his palm strike as if it were nothing, but it seemed his insides were growing increasingly uncomfortable as well.
I said to the Left Envoy with a calm expression,
“What, you cripple? Speak.”
The Left Envoy started to say something to me, then hurriedly turned and sprinted fiercely off somewhere.
It was truly tremendous speed.
A strange sound came from the Left Envoy’s mouth.
“Uh……”
I was not someone who would lose the Left Envoy.
I became a streak of gale and chased after him. When I had already closed in tight behind him, the Left Envoy spun in midair and thrust out both palms. The moment I saw his palms turn white, I met them with the Flame Realm Great Hand Seal.
Kwagagagagang!
Having met the palm force of the Flame Realm Great Hand Seal in midair, the Left Envoy used the rebound from the collision of palm forces to widen the distance even more, then, as soon as he landed, hurriedly disappeared into an alley. I, too, entered the twisting alleyways like an anthill and moved slowly while listening to the surrounding sounds.
I called out to the Left Envoy as if he were a friend I used to play with in the alleys.
“Mongrang, do you think I’ll give you time to take a shit? Not a chance.”
If it was this quiet, the Left Envoy would ambush me again from the mouth of an alley. Just then, I heard ventriloquism that used a petty trick to conceal his location.
“What poison is this?”
“No idea.”
“The antidote.”
“I have it.”
“What do you want?”
Carefully examining the alley, where moonlight shone here and there, I replied,
“That, I can’t tell you.”
I was about to turn around one alley when I heard the sound of wind and lowered my head. The Left Envoy’s folding fan smashed through the wall as it passed.
Thud!
When his ambush failed, the Left Envoy fled fiercely once more.
‘He swallowed Murong Bai’s laxative, so how is he holding out that well?’
At that moment, the Left Envoy, who had been running, once again jabbed his fingers repeatedly into his own abdomen.
Pababak!
The sight looked exceedingly painful. Holding his stomach, the Left Envoy turned around and glared at me with a pale face.
“Hand over the antidote, and I’ll spare your life.”
“You crazy bastard, I wasn’t going to give it to you even if you begged.”
“I’ll say it one more time. Hand over the antidote even now, and I’ll spare you.”
After snorting, I replied,
“Shit yourself.”
The Left Envoy moved his tongue around inside his mouth, then, with a furious expression, roughly took off the long white robe he was wearing over his clothes.
I asked,
“What are you doing?”
With an enraged expression, the Left Envoy replied as he wrapped the long white robe around his waist.
“Today is the day of your memorial rites.”
The Left Envoy wrapped the long white robe around his waist, fiddled with it here and there, then draped it over his pants like a woman’s skirt.
Watching the Left Envoy’s actions, I asked with a dazed expression,
“Is that a diaper?”
The Left Envoy replied in an icy tone.
“I will merely end up shitting myself, but you will die today. The antidote? I don’t need it.”
I was shaken by the Left Envoy’s terrifying spirit.
Did one have to go that far to survive in the Demonic Cult? It must have been because he was such a vicious bastard that he had pushed aside countless old demons of the Demonic Cult and claimed the seat of Left Envoy.
The Left Envoy approached, continuously nodding like a madman.
“Country bumpkin, are you ready to die? Begging won’t do you any good now.”
The Left Envoy tossed away his folding fan without regret and, while taking a few steps forward, made a pffft— sound from his lower half.
The Left Envoy hurriedly grimaced. Even the Left Envoy, who had declared that he would shit himself, seemed flustered, and a sigh that was either lamentation or resignation slipped out.
“Haaah.”
I, too, naturally backed away.
“No……”
It was a madness befitting the rival I had thought of first as soon as I regressed. When another pffft— sound was heard, I kept retreating despite myself.
“Don’t come near me, you shitter.”
Jwasa replied, bearing a smile that looked as though he had given up on life.
“How could a man fear a fleeting moment of humiliation? Come here. I’ll roll you around until you can’t tell if it’s my shit or yours.”
“You son of a bitch.”
Jwasa’s lower body was already stained yellow-brown. To make matters worse, he was dressed in white from head to toe, so a color that absolutely couldn’t be concealed was spreading.
Before I knew it, as I took a breath, the smell of shit flooded in. Jwasa charged at me like a bolt of lightning.
Babababababak!
Each time the sound of fiercely clashing palm forces erupted, it was mixed with a squelch—
“……!”
“……!”
At least this bastard wasn’t someone who belonged on the White Path. If a martial artist of the White Path had shit his pants while fighting, he would have simply announced his retirement from the martial world and thrown himself into a river, yet Jwasa calmly unleashed attacks and defenses while reeking of shit.
This composure, this cold rationality, this survival instinct, this squelch……
As expected of the rival I had been wary of, the Hao Sect’s top recruitment target, a martial arts genius, a shitter, a peak-class expert who had officially carried the character Ma (Demon) in his nickname even before becoming Jwasa.
No matter how experienced I was.
I had never fought an expert shitting himself in real time either. In that instant, while fiercely executing palm techniques, I realized that even my Gojasingong had been perfectly blocked.
‘How absurd.’
I simply couldn’t step on that shit-stained lower body with my freshly worn pure white shoes. It would be disrespectful to my new shoes. Meanwhile, a dizzying stench wafted out, and vertigo washed over me.
Since I had never seen such a formidable shitter in my life, I snapped to full attention.