Episode 47. The Mindset of Not Giving It Even If You Have It
I changed out of my bloodstained clothes, washed my face, then sat in a circle with the squad leaders and began drinking.
By the time I had lost count of how many cups I had knocked back in a row, Dokgo Saeng, who had been drinking with a stony expression from start to finish, began laughing to himself.
I looked at Dokgo Saeng through half-lidded eyes.
“Have you lost your mind? Why are you suddenly laughing?”
The squad leaders shook their heads as if they had no idea either.
“We do not know.”
“This is our first time seeing it too.”
I had just witnessed something strange.
Dokgo Saeng was a man who laughed in a truly awkward way. He looked like a man forcing sounds out as he practiced laughing. The sight was so grotesque that I swallowed a curse inwardly.
‘God, what a madman.’
After bursting into laughter several more times, Dokgo Saeng returned to his usual stony self and drank.
In the end, he did not say a single word about why he had laughed or what he had been thinking.
I did not ask either.
If something is funny, you laugh. What else is there to it?
Still, perhaps Dokgo Saeng felt needlessly embarrassed, because he blurted out these words.
“I won.”
“Won what?”
“I was kidnapped when I was young and brought here. To think a day like this would come.”
I looked at the squad leaders and Dokgo Saeng.
“All the bastards who were captured with me back then died. Some sank into the sea with the ship, and some were murdered. My only goal was to survive. My wish was to outlive those old men. If I got lucky and became stronger, I was going to kill them all with my own hands. It feels as though something I was supposed to do was stolen from me, but in the end, I won.”
If surviving meant winning, then Dokgo Saeng was right.
As he drank, Dokgo Saeng asked me.
“What kind of force is Haomun? I have never heard of it.”
After taking a sip of wine, I answered.
“There are men who work in pleasure houses, waiters, restaurant owners, smithies, construction workers, men from the Black Path, men with nothing to do, and men with too much to do.”
“A damn mess.”
“It is a damn mess.”
The stupid squad leader cut in.
“We are a damn mess too, aren’t we?”
Everyone nodded in agreement.
“That is true.”
Even I, talkative as I was, listened to many of the squad leaders’ stories while drinking. Like his surname, Dokgo (獨孤), Dokgo Saeng seemed to be a solitary and lonely squad leader. If the men he had killed on the ship had been on the elders’ side, then killing them would not have been all that difficult. I did not bother asking.
Because Dokgo Saeng was that kind of man to begin with.
As soon as I judged the time was right, I got up from where I had been drinking.
“You lot should drink in moderation too. The elders who lost their arms might get other ideas.”
Dokgo Saeng shook his head as if that was impossible.
“The elders who were strongest after the Fortress Lord all had their arms cut off anyway. Even if they bring the men under them, they cannot change the tide.”
So you had it all planned out. That must be why you went over to that elder with the severed arm earlier and sneered at him in your own way.
“I am leaving.”
Dokgo Saeng stood up, ordered the drinking party to disperse, then said to the squad leaders.
“I will see him off and return.”
No one tried to block my way now.
As I looked around the grounds, I realized anew that if I wanted to return quickly, I would have to take a boat.
Dokgo Saeng boarded the boat with me, saying he would see me off as far as the lower reaches of the Iryong River.
“……Once things are settled, should I go to Ilyang County and report?”
“First, the Black Cat Gang. If I am not there, then Ilyang County.”
“Black Cat Gang?”
“I am the leader of the Black Cat Gang.”
“Were you one of the Twelve Divine Generals?”
“No. I am just pretending to be one.”
Dokgo Saeng asked.
“To kill the Great Rakshasa?”
When I nodded, Dokgo Saeng showed interest.
“I hear he is strong.”
“I suppose he is.”
“If you die, what should we do? As you said earlier, should we open the grounds and simply live on?”
“Do you think I am going to die?”
Dokgo Saeng looked at me once, then replied dryly.
“Not particularly. If there is a debt of gratitude, it must be repaid. If there is a grudge, it must be repaid twofold. When you strike the Great Rakshasa, call me if you need me.”
“You are saying you will help me?”
“Are you looking down on me?”
“You help me just by staying alive. If you die, Heukseonbo will fall into chaos. You survive in your own way. I will survive in mine.”
A little while later, at the lower reaches of the Iryong River, I got off the boat, and Dokgo Saeng remained aboard.
Standing on the boat, Dokgo Saeng did not even utter the usual words of farewell.
“If we tear down the walls, will life get a little better?”
“There may be no change right away.”
“Is that so?”
“I saw many children on the way to the main hall. At least those children will have it better than you did.”
Dokgo Saeng nodded and replied.
“Then that is enough.”
It felt strange to say it, but the leader of the force once called Heukseonbo was now Dokgo Saeng.
I looked at Dokgo Saeng’s stony expression, then nodded.
“If we are alive, let us meet again.”
I turned around and walked for quite a while, but the back of my head felt unusually hot, so I looked back. Dokgo Saeng was sitting on the bow with his arms crossed, glaring at me.
‘You scared me.’
Dokgo Saeng uncrossed his arms and waved his hand exactly twice. I had never seen a man greet someone so awkwardly. As the boat set off, Dokgo Saeng suddenly shouted at the top of his lungs.
“I Jaha!”
“What?”
The corners of Dokgo Saeng’s mouth awkwardly rose.
“From now on, you may continue speaking informally to this elder brother. Take care on your way.”
As the boat grew distant, Dokgo Saeng’s figure also hurriedly disappeared from the bow.
I muttered as I moved from the mouth of the Iryong River onto the road leading to the Black Cat Gang.
“……Rude bastard.”
* * *
I arrived near the Black Cat Gang and sensed that something was off. Evening or not, I could not hear a single scream from the bastards training.
‘Did someone come?’
I was about to climb onto the wall, then stopped.
If it was an expert, they might notice at once.
I knocked on the gate just as I had the first time I visited the Black Cat Gang. A moment later, there came a clatter, and a pair of human eyes appeared in the rectangular opening. The moment the man saw me, his eyes widened, and he opened the door without a word.
As I stepped inside, the subordinate looked me up and down.
Of course he was surprised. The gang leader who had left dressed neatly in clean white robes had returned in shabby clothes.
I asked in a low voice.
“Who came?”
“Geumhae (金亥) is here.”
So the golden pig of the Twelve Divine Generals had come, was that it?
According to the strategy guide, he was a fellow for whom it was impossible to tell whether he had become Geumhae because he was gluttonous, or whether he was gluttonous because he was Geumhae.
His martial prowess hovered between the seventh and eighth rank.
He was said to have become Great Rakshasa’s disciple because of his inborn physical strength and build, though Chief Steward Byeok had added the opinion that he became a disciple because Geumhae’s family was rich.
His main family was presumed to run a merchant group.
In other words, Geumhae was a young master from a wealthy family who offered the most money to Great Rakshasa.
Perhaps because his interests were focused solely on eating, there was at least no mention of him throwing his weight around like Hwang-o, Noksul, or Baekja. The strategy guide had been compiled thoroughly from Chief Steward Byeok’s perspective, but it had its own objectivity. I knew a fair amount of information about them as well.
I crossed the outer and inner courtyards and entered the main hall, only to be startled.
A feast was laid out on the long table in the main hall.
And a man with a golden pig mask carelessly perched atop his head was eating.
He looked like a bianlian performer taking a brief rest with his mask off, and also like Zhu Bajie from Journey to the West sitting there.
Geumhae, thinking I was a servant of the Black Cat Gang, smacked his lips and said,
“You there, get me some water.”
Pouring water was the specialty of a former waiter, so I answered immediately.
“Yes, sir.”
As I picked up the kettle at the end of the table and approached, Geumhae, who had been eating, covered his nose.
“What’s this fishy stink? Put the water down there.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Get away from me. Ugh, what a foul smell. What are you?”
This was a moment when one had to answer well, and since I was a waiter, I knew the correct response.
“I apologize.”
“Ah, it’s so unpleasant it’s absurd. Go away.”
I retreated backward.
“You don’t know where Senior Brother Myo went either?”
“No, sir. I do not.”
The answer that he had gone to heaven rose all the way to my throat.
For a moment, Geumhae put down his chopsticks and covered his nose with his hand. A nasal voice seeped out.
“Don’t the servants here even wash? This is why your life has made you a servant.”
‘If you’re busy, you might not be able to wash. What a load of crap.’
Geumhae waved his hand as if telling me to get lost and said,
“Go in and wash. Tell the others to attend on me. Where did all these bastards go?”
“Indeed. Where could they have gone? Since it’s dinnertime, they’re probably gathered in some kitchen corner, eating leftover side dishes with cold rice.”
That was what I usually did.
When a mere servant spoke at length, Geumhae looked dumbfounded.
“Good grief……”
“Then I shall go wash and return.”
“No need to return. Never appear before me again.”
With enough food before him to feed ten men until they were full, Geumhae kept eating without pause.
I went straight to the private bath, washed myself, then went to the room where clothes were displayed in abundance and changed into clean garments.
I could roughly guess why the subordinates had disappeared somewhere.
If So Gunpyeong and a few other officers joined forces, they could probably handle someone like Geumhae. But since I was absent, and Geumhae was, after all, also Great Rakshasa’s disciple, it seemed they had simply set out a meal for him and hidden themselves somewhere.
I was curious about the purpose of Geumhae’s visit, so I put on the mask of the Black Cat Gang Leader, took the Black Cat Fang with me, and went out to the main hall.
Geumhae let out a belch, then looked at me.
“Senior Brother Myo, it’s been a while.”
Just what had the relationship between Black Cat and Geumhae been? Geumhae was not afraid of Black Cat at all.
I indicated the food with my chin and said briefly,
“Eat at ease.”
There was no need to ask why he had come. He seemed talkative. From beginning to end, Geumhae kept food in his mouth as he mumbled and poured out words.
“The serving girls here cook well. Every time I come, I end up eating my fill.”
For no reason, hearing those words made me think I should later move the serving girls to the Jaha Inn and put them under Jang Deuksu. The inn was large anyway, so they would be very short-handed.
Geumhae drank some water, made a bubbling sound in his mouth, then swallowed.
“You haven’t fought Senior Brother Baekyu yet, right? Our merchant group obtained a spiritual medicine this time. It came from the Western Regions.”
“And?”
“Not ‘and.’ If Master hears about it, it’s obvious he’ll just take it. Since you still have your fight with Senior Brother Baekyu left, I came to ask if you’d be interested in taking it off my hands for a suitable price, Senior Brother Myo.”
“What is it?”
“I bought up a large quantity of White Flame Grass (白炎草), and would you believe it… there were a few roots of hundred-year White Flame Grass mixed in. I called in an expert to appraise them, and they weren’t just a hundred years old. They seemed to be three or four hundred years old.”
Rather than the spiritual medicine, the word “expert” that Geumhae mentioned caught my ear.
“What expert?”
“There’s a clever fellow in our town.”
“So I’m asking, who is this expert?”
“No, why are you interested in the physician instead of the spiritual medicine?”
“How am I supposed to know whether the fellow who verified the spiritual medicine is a quack or not?”
“It’s not like I’ve been doing business for just a day or two. Why are you being so offensive? If you’re suspicious, don’t buy it. There are plenty of people who will. I only came to ask you first because I thought you needed it most, yet you don’t even recognize a person’s sincerity.”
“How much?”
At my question, Geumhae pulled down the mask that had been resting on the crown of his head and wore it over his face.
Geumhae smiled from within the mask and answered,
“Even a three-hundred-year White Flame Grass alone sends the price through the roof. Since we have the trust from our past dealings, let’s settle it cleanly at fifty standard gold pieces. I’ll add ten boxes of the ordinary White Flame Grass as well. Feed it to your subordinates too.”
“Bring it.”
As Geumhae rose, he replied,
“Good choice. I’m a bit sorry to say this, but if you refused, Senior Brother, I was planning to go to Senior Brother Baekyu. I’ll delay the date of the duel however I can, so be sure to take it before you fight.”
Geumhae suddenly imitated fist techniques with his hands, making whooshing sounds with his mouth.
“Just get ready to circulate your qi and regulate your breath.”
“Go.”
Perhaps because he was the son of a merchant guild, he was quite skilled at running his mouth. After Geumhae disappeared, I looked at the table. It felt as though a piglet had gone and trampled all over it.
In any case, I have no money.
At any rate, none.
Even if I do, I don’t.
I’m not a member of the Beggars’ Sect, but when it comes time to pay, I’m a beggar under an overpass.
With my eyes closed for a moment, I cleanly erased the assets of Ilyang County and the Black Cat Gang from my mind as well.
A waiter is, by nature, a beggar.
The mindset of not giving even if you have it.
Peace settled in my heart.