Chapter 147. I Know Why You’re Ugly.
Master Yukhap said to me,
“Hao Sect Leader, aren’t you looking down on me a little too much?”
“As if.”
“I’ve seen plenty of bastards like you in the martial world. Especially among the black path.”
It seemed Master Yukhap was angry.
“Is that so?”
“They died after getting cocky because they trusted their faction’s power. They died after growing arrogant because they trusted their martial arts. They died after looking down on me because I look shabby. You’re the same. It seems you underestimate me because I drag insects around with me.”
Master Yukhap looked at me and smiled. Once Master Yukhap gave the order, the seven insects would throw themselves at me with no regard for their lives.
On the other hand, I sat alone in the main hall and calmly waited for Master Yukhap’s command.
After staring hard at me for a while, Master Yukhap tilted his head and said,
“……Strange. You’re young, yet far too calm.”
Ilchung said to Master Yukhap,
“Master, shall we kill him?”
“Wait.”
“Yes.”
“Look at the Hao Sect Leader’s expression. He’s a strange one.”
I waited without much reaction, then said to Cha Seongtae,
“Seongtae, bring some Dukang wine.”
“Yes.”
Cha Seongtae came out from inside, set the Dukang wine on the table, and disappeared. Master Yukhap asked me,
“Is there poison in it this time?”
Without answering, I poured myself a cup and drank.
I wanted to pour a cup each for the insect bastards who had died by my hand, but with the suspicious Master Yukhap here, I couldn’t.
After drinking three cups by myself, I looked at Master Yukhap’s ugly face.
As in my previous life, even now I could read emotions uglier than his appearance in Master Yukhap’s expression.
Just because one’s face is ugly, one’s heart doesn’t need to be ugly too.
But this bastard was ugly in both.
Master Yukhap was a man whose heart was so ugly that later, the title Ghost Demon suited him perfectly. Perhaps that was why, later on, his appearance became even more repulsive than it was now. Feeling the warmth of the wine rise in me, I said to Master Yukhap,
“Master Yukgap.”
“It’s Yukhap.”
“Looking at you like this, you really are ugly.”
“…….”
“Your face is truly ugly. If we’re judging by faces alone, you’re uglier than the insect bastards here. Is that why you deliberately chose ugly servants too? So you ugly bastards could travel around in a group together. Am I wrong?”
Master Yukhap looked as if he was genuinely furious.
“…….”
He was so angry that even as he slowly blinked, he couldn’t say a single word to me.
Meanwhile, the Gold and Silver Seven Bugs waited with their heads bowed low. They probably already knew that Master Yukhap hated comments about his appearance most of all.
Master Yukhap said with a smile,
“You’re a dead man.”
I replied with a smile as well.
“Why? Because I teased you for being ugly?”
“……Am I really that ugly?”
I held my chin and studied Master Yukhap.
“Let’s see. Let me look closely. Look once, look twice, look three times.”
“…….”
“You really do look like shit. No matter how many times I look, you’re ugly. Master Yukgap.”
Was it because I was being too blunt? Master Yukhap, who had been about to get angry, suddenly laughed with a snort.
“Absurd.”
I laughed as I looked at Master Yukhap’s expression.
“It must be absurd. I find it absurd too. It’s rare for someone to be ugly even when they smile. Ugly. Truly ugly.”
“Sect Leader, are you done running your mouth?”
Since Master Yukhap looked as if he would charge at me at any moment, I answered appropriately.
“No. I should tell you this much. I know why you’re ugly.”
Master Yukhap’s eyes widened.
“What bullshit is that?”
“Listen carefully. I don’t avoid fights. Whether you and I fight and I die, or you die, I want to tell you this no matter what. Listen. I know in great detail why you’re ugly. I even know the solution. It won’t be too late to fight me after hearing it.”
I spoke with a truly serious expression.
On the other hand, Master Yukhap was staring at me with an ugly expression, as if looking at a madman.
I gestured as if trying hard to calm a rabid dog and said,
“Will you hear me out? If you don’t, you’ll regret it. Not many people know this.”
Master Yukhap’s breathing had grown rough, and he glared at the insects, including Ilchung. The insects only kept their heads bowed low, like people about to die.
Master Yukhap said,
“Speak.”
“Yukgap…… Don’t get worked up and listen carefully.”
Suddenly, Master Yukhap struck the table repeatedly with his hand and shouted,
“Didn’t I say it was Yukhap! Not Yukgap, Yukhap! Yukhap! Yukhap! Yukhap! You son of a bitch! Is that so hard? You bastard I’ll tear to pieces!”
I lowered both hands and calmed the Ghost Demon of my previous life.
“All right. I get it. Don’t throw a Yukgap fit and listen. Master Yukhap, I’ll explain. Get angry after you’ve heard it.”
“Speak.”
After drinking some Dukang wine, I asked the insects,
“Anyone want a drink? No? Good. I’ll have to drink alone, then. I’ll explain.”
With a serious heart, I expounded on the Theory of Ugly Men.
“This is a rather profound issue. Men, you see, can be born handsome, or become handsome later. Likewise, there are men born ugly, and men who become ugly later. A man born handsome has, literally, the appearance he possessed from birth. You understand up to this point, yes?”
Master Yukhap glared at me.
“Continue.”
I pointed at Master Yukhap with my finger.
“You were born ugly. It means you were an ugly bastard from the moment you were born.”
Master Yukhap looked at me with his mouth half open.
“…….”
“But the problem is, you also became ugly later. What could the reason be? What I’m saying is that even a man born ugly can become handsome later. That is my unwavering belief. Especially for martial artists like us, it’s possible. You simply don’t know the method.”
“So far, it’s bullshit.”
“What does that mean? It means even a man born handsome can become ugly as much as he likes. The key is the harmony between the heart and the expression.”
“What an idiotic thing to say.”
I nodded.
“If you don’t understand it, it might sound that way. When a man smiles, you see, his expression and his heart must harmonize like internal energy and external techniques. If his true heart is thinking of harming someone, but his face is smiling, then little by little, his facial muscles are bound to twist toward ugliness.”
“…….”
“Of course, there have been times when I laughed while harboring killing intent. But more often than not, I laugh because I’m enjoying myself. You, on the other hand, were born with an ugly face, yet your heart and your expression don’t match either. You keep making that wretched face worse. A man’s face generally changes in cycles of ten years. Even if you were born ugly, if you understand this, it means your face can change just as the bearing of a martial artist changes. Is that difficult? In truth, it’s such a difficult and profound issue that even I find it as troublesome to explain as martial arts.”
I drank a cup of Dukang wine and looked at Master Yukhap.
Master Yukhap said to me,
“Explain further. Surely that isn’t the end of it? If you fail to make me understand, you die here today.”
“Save that idiotic threat for your underlings. Fine. My example was wrong. I’ll explain. There are smiles of men I thought were tremendously splendid. Who do you think they were?”
“Who?”
“Do you know the Sword Demon?”
“You mean the Sword Demon of the Demonic Cult?”
I nodded.
“That man laughed out loud in front of me exactly once. His smile then was truly something to behold. Why was that? Because a man who never laughed had smiled so rarely. That man is someone who absolutely does not laugh carelessly, but when he does laugh, he laughs sincerely. You must have some rough idea of what kind of person the Sword Demon is, don’t you?”
“Of course I do.”
“That is the first example. The second was when the Martial Alliance Leader, Im Sobaek, laughed. Ah, he was a man who laughed as little as the Sword Demon. If you put those two together, I guarantee they would spend a hundred days speaking to each other with expressionless faces. Alliance Leader Im always wore a strong, blunt expression, so it was truly difficult to confirm whether he ever smiled. But he certainly knew how to smile. That smile he would give faintly after confirming the safety of his subordinates and bringing an operation to a close without incident.”
“So what?”
I glared at Master Yukhap.
“Even if a man smiles only once a year, it is best for him to smile like that. If he does, then no matter how ugly he was born, he becomes handsome through what comes after. For those of the martial world, with their bearing and presence, that is even more true. The smile of the Martial Alliance Leader and the smile of the Sword Demon who escaped the Demonic Cult were not smiles one could easily see. Perhaps because the two of them had little reason to smile sincerely. Smiling sincerely is that difficult. On the other hand…….”
I pointed at the insects with my finger.
“Look at these insect bastards who came in here and giggled from beginning to end. Not a single one of them laughed because they truly found something funny. None of them laughed because their lives were enjoyable. While worrying themselves sick over whether there was poison or not, they forced tasteless rice down their throats and smiled—could that possibly be a proper smile? All of it was fake, survival-driven, idiotic laughter they made because they were afraid of you, Master Yukgap. That is why their faces become twisted.”
I returned to the beginning and explained again.
“This is what it means for the heart and the smile not to match. The appearances of these insect bastards who force themselves to laugh will grow uglier and uglier, until ten years from now, they will have become monsters. I told you, didn’t I? A man’s appearance changes every ten years. It is the same as one’s realm of internal energy. Inborn appearance is no issue at all for those of the martial world. Will you grow stronger slowly, day by day, and become a handsome man? Or will you live uglily day by day and become an ugly man? That is the secret of appearance.”
Because I had explained too seriously, I lightly wiped the sweat from my forehead with my hand, then poured and drank some Dukang wine as I said,
“Now do you understand why you’re ugly? Master Yukgap.”
Master Yukhap glared at me with sunken eyes.
“Sect Leader, let me ask one thing first.”
“Ask.”
“I introduced myself as Master Yukhap, so why do you keep calling me Master Yukgap?”
I nodded, then replied in a grave tone.
“That is who I am.”
“What does that mean?”
I raised the corners of my mouth and grinned. Teasing the Ghost Demon of my past life was quite entertaining.
“It means that’s my heart. Whether it’s Yukhap or Yukgap, the fact that you’re ugly doesn’t change, so don’t nitpick the details. What does it matter if it’s Yukhap, and what does it matter if it’s Yukgap? Your face and heart are both ugly beyond measure anyway. So…… did you understand what I said? I gave you the chance and the information to become handsome, and I’m curious whether you feel like living your life anew. Wow, to think I’d teach this kind of information without even taking money. I wonder if there’s another chivalrous hero like me.”
While Master Yukhap took a deep breath, I went on speaking by myself.
“No matter how ugly a man is, the expression of a man who smiles sincerely is bound to be beautiful. That sort of smile cannot be hidden by mere ugliness of appearance. Whether you die today or not, keep my words in mind. We can all become handsome men.”
Thus, my lecture that had begun as a theory on ugly men concluded as a theory on handsome men. I felt a slight pang of guilt, as though I had thoroughly conned these ugly fellows.
“…….”
I asked Master Yukhap in a sour tone,
“Are we fighting? Are you coming at me? Planning to bid farewell to your life today? What a shame.”
Before Master Yukhap could reply, I called my subordinates.
“Seongtae, Pavilion Master So, Master Hoyeon. Officers.”
The subordinates who had been waiting walked into the main hall and said,
“Yes, Sect Leader.”
“Did you call for us?”
I glared at Master Yukhap and ordered my subordinates.
“If, by some chance, I am defeated by these men.”
“Yes.”
“Ask my acquaintances in the martial world to avenge me.”
Cha Seongtae nodded and replied,
“Please tell us.”
“First, the Martial Alliance Leader Im Sobaek, Senior Sword Demon who somehow managed to flee the Demonic Cult, the Blood Night Palace Mistress who was said to be the cult leader’s junior martial sister, and also contact the Fengyun Meng Clan and tell the shit-pants second son that I request he avenge me.”
“Yes.”
“Of course, you’ll have to contact the Nammyeong Association, the Southern Sky Union, and the Black Ship Fortress as well.”
“That is correct.”
“Now that I think about it, my acquaintances are evenly spread across the righteous path, the black path, and the demonic path. I haven’t lived in vain.”
“Indeed.”
“Inform my hometown friends in Ilyang County too. Seongtae, you should set out for revenge in about ten years. Your skills are still idiotic.”
“Understood.”
I spoke in a solemn tone.
“Tell them that the Haomun Sect Leader was wrongfully struck down. Tell them I was struck down after calling Master Yukhap Master Yukgap and saying an ugly man was ugly. Could there be a more unjust tale? In particular, the Martial Alliance Leader, with whom my bonds of comradeship deepened when we attacked the Southern Peak Alliance together, will be greatly saddened, so make sure to put Master Yukhap and his servants on the list of public enemies of the martial world. Not Yukgap, but Yukhap. Do not forget.”
Cha Seongtae nodded.
“I will make sure to convey it exactly. Yukgap, correct?”
“Yukhap.”
“Yes.”
I grabbed the Flash Dagger that had been stuck in the table all this time and glared at Master Yukhap.
“Good. I feel refreshed. Now let’s have at it…….”
“…….”
“Mas-ter-Yuk-gap.”
After calling out to the Ghost Demon of my past life, I smiled brightly. In this case, I was laughing because teasing him was fun, so it could be called an exceedingly appropriate expression.
Ah, if I end up becoming too handsome like this, that might be a problem…….
.
.
.
I indulged in a bit of useless worry.