Chapter 141. What Do You Mean, Bandits?
From experience, after talking a lot, it was best not to talk. After engraving the names Haomun and I Jaha into the bandits’ minds, I shut my mouth.
Suddenly, I thought of Im Sobaek and the Murim Alliance, who should be heading toward Mongnyeongchae.
He was a man who lived a truly hard life.
A man who lived hardship not for himself, but for others. Wasn’t a man like that what the world called a chivalrous hero?
In my previous life, Alliance Leader Im, whom I had only seen from afar, was stubborn, blunt, often quarreled with the leaders of the orthodox factions, and had not a shred of mercy for the heretics and unorthodox.
But Im Sobaek, whom I had watched up close, was……
A man who, despite being the alliance leader, stood at the vanguard in battle, charged first every time, and grew sharp with concern as he checked whether his subordinates had been injured.
He was also a man who chewed tasteless jerky with the alliance members, lay down beside the campfire, and walked through the night.
In a word, he was a man with little to laugh about.
Perhaps because of that, I could see Im Sobaek’s expression all too clearly as he advanced on Mongnyeongchae.
His tightly closed mouth, his blunt expression as he occasionally looked back over the procession.
Just as in my previous life, if many alliance members were injured fighting the river bandits, then all that likely awaited Mongnyeongchae was extermination.
So, I thought it would be nice if Shitter helped the alliance leader greatly with his ice arts.
If that happened, Alliance Leader Im would be grateful……
And Shitter would remain Shitter without becoming a lecher.
My conclusion was that life as Shitter was better than life as a lecher.
Because the bandits were staring at me far too intently, I had no choice but to open my mouth.
“You ugly bastards, if you’re curious about anything, ask.”
“What kind of organization is Haomun?”
I nodded, then answered.
“An organization that beats up and kills bastards like you.”
“Why us?”
“Because merchants whose old mothers are waiting at home get caught by you while crossing mountain passes, have their money taken, get beaten, and sometimes even die. You sons of bitches. Even your questions are idiotic. Who was that just now? Stand up.”
A bastard who looked ignorant at a glance stood up again. Unfortunately, I was now in a situation where I even remembered his name.
“Sit down. U Chun. You ignorant bastard.”
“Yes.”
I said to Jang San.
“San.”
“Yes.”
“Bring some liquor. Not the liquor you lot were drinking, but the liquor Alliance Leader Yaryul, who has departed for the next world, had been savoring all by himself.”
“Understood.”
“Gu Jun, Gu Pyeong.”
“Yes.”
“You two bring some snacks for the liquor and things like the warehouse key.”
“The warehouse key?”
“There must be a place where that Yaryul bastard gathered the mountain bandit treasures he cherished so dearly. The key to that place.”
Gu Jun and Gu Pyeong answered as they got up.
“Understood.”
While the three of them moved, Jo Gaseong asked me.
“Sect Leader, is your martial strength greater than Alliance Leader Yaryul’s?”
I looked at Jo Gaseong.
Were these bastards childish because they were bandits? Or had they become bandits because they were childish? In any case, I was originally just as childish a man as the bandits, so I answered without much difficulty.
“Didn’t he die quickly after attacking Alliance Leader Im? What’s more, it was a joint attack with the Ghost Valley Sect Leader, wasn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“It would have been similar even if he fought me.”
“What if Alliance Leader Im and you fought, Sect Leader?”
“That’s the level of asking who would win if a tiger and a bear fought, isn’t it? Fine. I can’t lose here.”
I let out a sigh and looked at Jo Gaseong and the other bandits. They all had expressions of sincere curiosity. The mental age of those who stole from others was this very young.
“How old do you think Alliance Leader Im is?”
“He looked over forty.”
“Me?”
“You look like you’re in your early twenties.”
“Internal energy is strengthened by the power of time and years. If I want to decide a match with Alliance Leader Im, I have to wait longer. Right now, of course I’m at more of a disadvantage. Even if we say Alliance Leader Im and I are roughly equal in talent for fighting, Alliance Leader Im has accumulated internal energy twenty years longer than I have. Naturally, who would have the advantage?”
“Alliance Leader Im.”
“Correct.”
“Our Alliance Leader Yaryul was also over forty, though.”
“That’s because that bastard was an idiot. How could an old mutt that only aged beat a bear?”
“Yes.”
“And not every alliance leader is the same kind of alliance leader.”
Only then did I realize that the bandits were old-before-their-years, like Jang San.
Soon the liquor arrived first, and I shared it with the bandits using a gourd dipper.
After drinking, Jang San asked me.
“Then, in the gangho, is the Murim Alliance Leader the most frightening man?”
“Hmm……”
I looked at Jang San’s expression. He seemed to be asking because he was truly curious. He was nineteen years old, but if he had spent most of his life in Namak, that meant he really knew very little about the gangho.
I looked at the bandits.
“There are many frightening men besides Alliance Leader Im.”
It was a bothersome task, but after wetting my throat with liquor, I explained to them.
“The land is so vast that you’ll never meet him, but there is also a man among the black path forces who is called an alliance leader. You don’t need to know them, but there are also those grouped together under the epithet Three Calamities. Besides them, there are men called the best in an entire province. There are also lunatics competing for the title of the Greatest Evil Under Heaven. And there are many strong men without forces of their own. But if I had to name the most frightening man in the gangho, it would be the cult leader of the Heavenly Demon Cult.”
“I’ve heard of him.”
“Of course you have.”
“Even Alliance Leader Yaryul didn’t mention him carelessly.”
I nodded.
“If you saw him in person, bastards like you would have trouble even meeting his eyes. Do you know why?”
“Why?”
“Because he looks frightening even to grown men.”
“Have you seen him in person?”
“I saw a portrait sketch. He’s about two heads taller than Jang San, and his shoulders are broader than Jang San’s too. Perhaps because he’s so tall, his back is slightly hunched. His hair is jet-black and gleams with oil. It must be because he’s a pervert. His voice is unpleasant, like the sound made when blades clash. It has the feel of a pig being slaughtered while speaking human words. He’s a total son of a bitch. Not a human bastard at all.”
“You said you saw a portrait sketch, so how do you know his voice?”
“U Chun, you shut up for a bit.”
“Yes.”
“As for his face. Both eyes protrude forward, and his cheekbones rise high like two hills. His jaw is square, and his mouth is huge like a catfish’s. He feels not the slightest emotion when killing people. In general, he speaks while smiling and kills people while smiling. There are cases where you feel intimidated just by the shape of someone’s face, and the cult leader is like that. He’s so ugly that a bastard like him might not appear even once in a thousand years.”
Jangsan replied.
“What’s being ugly got to do with being scary?”
“Allow me to correct that. It looks so grotesque you might see its like once in a thousand years.”
Suddenly, a cold wind blew past, and the bandits swallowed dryly for no reason.
I slowly studied the bandits’ expressions. Had there been even a single cultist mixed among them, I would have lost my temper.
‘None.’
Gujun came over and held out a bunch of keys, while Gupyeong distributed fruits and snacks from a large basket.
As soon as the alcohol hit, the Murim Alliance members who would be charging into battle right now weighed on my mind. Leaving these fellows behind felt wrong, and drinking here while the Murim Alliance was fighting also felt wrong.
Still, the bandits were an honest and childish bunch, so I spoke my mind plainly.
“This booze tastes like shit.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Maybe because I’m drinking with a bunch of ignorant bastards.”
At this point, I tossed the bandits a question that represented the peak of childishness.
“But hey.”
“Yes.”
“If a bandit and a pirate threw down, who’d win?”
“….”
I chewed on dried snacks and looked at the bandits.
“If the Namak Alliance and Mokryeong Chae fought, who’d win? Mokryeong Chae would, right? I hear Gwido over there is quite the fighter. You lot have no leader now and are just a pathetic rabble, so you wouldn’t stand a chance, would you? Well, you were guys who only bullied people who didn’t know martial arts, so it’s all the same in the end. What meaning would there be?”
“….”
“Still, the bandits who followed Alliance Leader Im are lucky.”
“Why?”
“Think about it. Thanks to my good fortune, not a single Alliance member died. In that situation, if the bandits joined forces with the Murim Alliance and struck Mokryeong Chae, establishing merit? Let’s say you distinguished yourselves with special bravery and cut down three or four pirates—what kind of situation would that be? Since ancient times, there has always been the concept of a ‘surrendered general’ on the battlefield.”
“What’s a surrendered general?”
“A general who surrendered, you bastard. Not a happy general. Anyway, when a surrendered general establishes merit, he is bound to be treated well. You were bandits but killed several pirates? Of course, you’d have to take a separate entrance exam, but there’s at least a tiny chance of becoming a Murim Alliance member. Fate has such a mind-blowing side to it. How would it feel to become a Murim Alliance member after being a bandit?”
I rested my chin on my hand and gazed into the distance.
“Let’s imagine it for a moment. A bandit becoming a Murim Alliance member… Ah, did I go too far? Not a chance.”
While everyone held their breath in silence, Jangsan asked me.
“What is this entrance exam?”
“To enter the Murim Alliance, you have to take a test. They look at both stamina and character. For ordinary Alliance members, they don’t check martial arts skill—they’ll teach you through training anyway. As far as I know, they take applicants around for about ten days, push them to their limits through all kinds of training and hazing, then select the passers. I’ve never taken the entrance exam myself, so this is all hearsay.”
“I thought one entered through martial arts skill.”
“There are those who do. Those who enter by special recommendation are like that.”
I looked steadily at Jangsan and said.
“Hey, San.”
“Yes.”
“You’re nineteen, so if by some stroke of luck you could get into the Murim Alliance, you could probably be active there for thirty or forty years. The Alliance pays well too. The treatment is good. You won’t be looked down on wherever you go if you say you’re an Alliance member. With those belonging to the orthodox sects, you’re mostly on brotherly terms and respect each other. Even though your affiliations differ, it’s because your intentions align.”
Of course, there were insolent bastards like Samahak, the patriarch of the Samase clan, but the bandits didn’t need to know that.
I looked at Jangsan while drinking wine from a gourd.
“Murim Alliance’s Jangsan. How does that sound?”
Jangsan answered with a smile.
“It sounds good.”
“Good?”
“Yes.”
I replied with a straight face.
“What’s good about it, you bandit bastard.”
Jangsan’s face turned bright red, and the other bandits burst into laughter at the same time.
“Hahahahaha….”
I laughed along with the bandits and then continued.
“Let’s say Jangsan got into the Murim Alliance….”
“Yes.”
“Enduring grueling training to the point of disgust for several years. Finally, you enter an elite unit. Let’s say you entered the Sword Squad or the Battle Squad. You’re dispatched here and there, beating up unorthodox factions, tracking down and eliminating enemies of the martial world, and mediating sect disputes as an arbiter. You get promoted, you even get married when it was nowhere in your fate, and live a very happy life.”
I looked at the laughing bandits and spoke in a different tone.
“Then one day, you’re ambushed by bandits and die with your throat cut.”
“….”
“It was a fight you could have easily won with your skill, but you die fighting with an arrow lodged in your side, struck by a blade. In the newlywed house near the Alliance, your bride who just married you waits all night long.”
These ignorant bandit bastards all looked at me with stiffened expressions.
“….”
I continued with a calm expression.
“Before anyone knows it, Alliance Leader Im, whose hair has turned white, will be in his office receiving the report. ‘The martial artist Jangsan of the Seven Swords Squad died in the middle of a mission.’ Then Alliance Leader Im will ask, ‘Who was Jangsan again?’ He probably knew but asked anyway. The subordinate will answer, ‘He was formerly a bandit who had entered after taking the entrance exam on the Haomun Sect Leader’s recommendation…’”
I nodded with an expression as blunt as Im Sobaek’s and said.
“Ah, that friend. I remember. The Alliance Leader will ask the one who reported with a blunt face, ‘Who killed him?’ ‘Killed by bandits, sir.’ Alliance Leader Im, after saying he understands, will send the subordinate outside the office and sit alone for a moment. Because he needs time to compose himself. The Alliance Leader receives reports of all members’ deaths. He needs time to endure so that he does not go mad. Whether you saw it or not, after killing Alliance Leader Yayul, Alliance Leader Im did not look at you with bloodshot eyes—he looked at his subordinates.”
“….”
“‘There are no subordinates killed by bandits, I take it?’ It was that kind of look.”
I continued speaking while glaring at the bandits.
“Alliance Leader Im Sobaek is a man on the verge of madness. That you neither died by my hand nor by Alliance Leader Im is truly heavenly fortune. Heaven has watched over you and given you a chance to live again, so stop this pathetic bandit business. Got it?”
“Yes.”
I deliberately met eyes with Jangsan.
“Jangsan.”
“Yes, Sect Leader.”
“You lived as a bandit yesterday and today, but you don’t have to do so for the rest of your days. Before you torment the weak, take a closer look at the world. There are many ways to live, and ignorance is not a sin. You can learn.”
I looked around at the bandits.
“I’m generally a man whose words tend to run all over the place, but I am a man who keeps his promises. Trust my words and try living a life different from yesterday.”
I took a sip of wine and then recited in a calm tone.
“Born to be a great man—what talk is this of being a bandit?”