Her heart was in turmoil. She did not know how she ought to face Fu Chou. After all, she bore the title of his wife; if he demanded they share the bedchamber, it was perfectly reasonable. Moreover, he had no concubines. If things continued like this, it was no solution. She sighed, the depression in her heart difficult to dispel. Ever since a year ago, when she had tactfully refused him once, he had never made things difficult for her again. Why had he suddenly wanted to stay tonight? Was it to prove that he did not despise her body, or was there some other reason?
She scooped up a handful of water and poured it over her face, covering her cheeks with both hands, feeling utterly weary. Why were all the people around her so complicated? Not a single one of them gave her peace of mind. Lowering her hands, she called for the maid beyond the screen to add more hot water for her.
No one answered from outside, but there came the faint sound of footsteps approaching, followed by the sound of water being poured into the pool. Exhausted, she kept her eyes closed, too lazy to open them.
Warm water flowed into the pool, scattering the flower petals before her and revealing the delicate, smooth skin at her chest, glimmering with a full and alluring luster, half-hidden and half-visible amid the rippling water, enough to stir endless reverie. Her long hair, black as satin, lay half-damp over her shoulders, setting off the slender fragrant shoulders exposed above the water, making them seem even more fair and jade-like, breathtakingly beautiful.
The person who had come in picked up the bath towel beside her, dipped it in water, and wiped her slender, elegant neck. The movements were exceedingly gentle, like the touch of a lover’s hand. Finding it somewhat strange, Man Yao frowned and said, “I don’t need anyone to attend to me. You may withdraw.”
The person behind her did not leave because of her words. Instead, he leaned closer, his breathing suddenly much heavier, and she even felt that the breath he exhaled had grown scorching hot. Just as she was about to open her eyes, that person put down the bath towel and stroked the line of her arm with his hand. The slightly rough sensation of his palm rubbing against her arm abruptly cleared her drowsy mind.
Opening her eyes, she dodged to the side and said in alarm, “General… you… why have you come here?”
Fu Chou seemed to have expected this reaction from her. He seized her arm in one grip, leaving her unable to escape, and laughed by her ear. “I saw that you hadn’t returned to the room after so long and feared something had happened to you, so I came to take a look. What is it? Is the weather too hot, so once you soak in the water you can’t bear to get out? If you sleep like this, you’ll catch a chill.”
Man Yao turned her head away unnaturally and sank her body a little lower before saying, “General still has to attend court early tomorrow morning. You should return to the room and rest first. I… I want to soak a little longer.”
Fu Chou reached out and gathered a handful of her damp hair at her neck, his voice carrying a faint hoarseness. “It doesn’t matter. Since Rongle likes soaking in the water, I’ll come down and keep you company.”
As he spoke, he made as if to loosen his clothes. Man Yao froze, then hurriedly stopped him. “There’s no need, General. Although I would like to soak a while longer, today… I’ve soaked long enough. I’ll get up now. Please, General… wait outside.”
Fu Chou seemed not to move. After a while, a low, deep laugh spread beside her ear, and only then did she realize she had been teased. Annoyance rose in her at once. The moment she turned her head, his scorching breath sprayed against her ear, bringing a tingling itch. She could not help panicking and shrinking her neck, wanting to avoid him, but his large hand swiftly lifted her chin. A fervent kiss came without warning, sweeping over her like a sudden storm, urgent and somewhat domineering, completely unlike his usual gentleness.
Caught off guard, Man Yao’s body trembled, and she stiffened where she was. They had been together for so long, yet Fu Chou had never made any excessive move toward her; at most, he had held her hand or put an arm around her shoulders. She had never expected him to kiss her so suddenly. Her heart fell into utter disorder, and she hurriedly struggled. Yet she had not expected that Fu Chou’s body was half-leaning over at that moment; with her struggle, his center of gravity became unsteady, and with a splash, he toppled into the pool, sending up a great sheet of water that drenched her from head to face.
She wiped the water from her face with her hand and opened her eyes, only to see that Fu Chou was nowhere to be found on the surface of the pool. The floating petals filled the entire water’s surface, making it impossible to see where he was. And she had not a stitch on her body; with him underwater, would he not see her entirely? This Fu Chou—she truly did not know whether he had done it on purpose or fallen in by accident.
Somewhat vexed, Man Yao reached out, grabbed the clothes by the side of the pool, and was about to climb ashore. But before her foot had even stepped onto the edge, one of her ankles was caught by a large hand and yanked sharply underwater. She cried out in alarm and fell headlong, landing in the arms of the man hidden beneath the water. In her panic, she inhaled and choked on a large mouthful of water.
Fu Chou hurriedly brought her back above the surface and trapped her against the side of the bathing pool.
She coughed violently, as if she were about to cough out her heart and lungs along with it.
Fu Chou gently stroked her back with his hand. Man Yao glared at him, and at last she stopped coughing, though her throat still burned as if on fire. Frustration filled her heart, and her gaze became somewhat cold. As for Fu Chou, his single layer of clothing was soaked through, clinging tightly to his skin and outlining firm, resolute lines. His face was covered in trails of water. Once the gentle expression that usually rested on the surface had faded from his handsome, well-defined features, his furrowed sword-like brows held a few degrees more of chilling severity, making him appear all the more striking and heroic. His gaze was burning as it rested on her chest. Only then did Man Yao realize that nearly half her breast was exposed above the water, and she hurriedly raised her hand to cover herself, only for his large palm to grip her wrist.
“Are you afraid of me? Is that why you still haven’t gone out after so long?” he asked, looking into her eyes.
Man Yao lowered her head and did not make a sound.
Fu Chou was not angry either. He merely half-encircled her naked body in his arms and looked at her damp long hair, now clumped into strands, scattered messily behind her or over her chest, just barely concealing the spring scenery faintly visible beneath the water. Her tender, moist lips were pressed tightly together, a trace of thin anger hooked at the corners of her mouth. Her dark, clear eyes revealed a stubborn persistence, and a drop of water hung from her fan-like lashes, trembling lightly, neither falling nor staying, as though it were a tear that had drilled into a person’s heart, making one ache for her despite oneself.
Fu Chou’s expression changed. He suddenly released her, and with a leap, he was out of the bathing pool. With his back to her, his tone was stiff in a way rarely heard from him. “Soaking too long isn’t good for your body. I’ll wait for you at the door.”
Man Yao did not know why his expression had suddenly changed, but she was very glad he had left, for such skin-to-skin closeness was something she truly was not used to.
The moonlight was bright and clear, coating the General’s Residence in a layer of silver radiance.
Man Yao followed Fu Chou back to the sleeping chamber. Right in front of her, Fu Chou removed his wet clothes and changed into clean inner garments, then beckoned to her.
“Rongle, come here.”
Man Yao lifted her eyes to look at him, her feet not moving an inch, and said lightly, “Can we… talk?”
Fu Chou smiled and asked, “What does Rongle want to talk about?”
Man Yao said, “Our marriage was built upon politics. Though I brought you an indelible humiliation, I also brought you some things you wanted.”
Fu Chou’s eyes shifted slightly, but his expression did not change. “Such as?”
Man Yao answered, “The consolidation of power.”
Although she was disdained by many, she was, after all, the princess of a nation—and the princess said by all to be most favored by Emperor Qiyun. Her existence represented the support of an entire country behind him. This past year, the borders had been peaceful, and Lintian had been able to recuperate and rebuild; this was greatly related to Qiyun stationing troops at the frontier to hold the surrounding nations in check. Just imagine: with two powerful nations joining hands, who would dare invade easily?
Moreover, the officials of court were inclined to follow power and curry favor. This past year, he had used this to cultivate his own influence. Now, at least more than half the officials in court had close private ties with him. If he were also the son of the Emperor of Lintian, Man Yao had no doubt at all that he could overthrow the crown prince without the slightest effort and take that position for himself.
Fu Chou’s gaze changed slightly, and a few hints of sharp light actually emerged from it. Yet she only smiled faintly and said, “You need not worry. I seek nothing. I only want to continue living peacefully and steadily like this. Can we maintain the way we have gotten along this past year?”
Her voice was very calm, her tone indifferent, betraying no emotion.
Fu Chou looked at her and did not speak for a long while. Afterward, he walked toward her, his gaze complicated. “What if I say no? Rongle, I am very greedy. I still want your person… and your heart.”
His large hands swiftly gripped both her shoulders. Those lips that always carried a cool, faint smile when facing him—he only wanted to take them between his own.
Man Yao did not struggle. Knowing that his martial arts were far above hers, she could not break free even if she tried, so she could only turn her head and say indifferently, “Does General truly not mind that I am no longer chaste?”
Fu Chou trembled slightly. The smile faded from the corners of his mouth, and his eyes instantly darkened, the strength in his hands increasing by several degrees. He stared fixedly into her desolate, indifferent eyes, frowning, then frowning deeper. A trace of restrained anger was actually hidden between his brows as he said, “Do I disgust you so much? In order to refuse me, you would rather tear open your own scars?”
Man Yao bit her lip, her gaze falling on the cold, hard, pale-gray floor tiles, her delicate brows drawn together coldly.
“I do not dislike you,” she said. “You are very good. It is I who do not wish to be a chess piece with feelings. I do not know exactly what kind of relationship exists between you and Imperial Brother, nor do I know what agreements and schemes you have between you. That Henxiang who was sent to the crown prince’s side—back then, when she impersonated me and entered the palace to choose you as my husband, was that your plan, or Imperial Brother’s idea? You treat me well—for whose eyes is that performance meant? I do not want to know any of this! Since I entered the General’s Residence, I am unwilling to think too much on it. I only hope that you can grant me a peaceful life undisturbed by others. This wish is not excessive, is it?”
Her voice was so cool and clear, her expression desolate as if she had seen through everything in the world.
In one year, she had seen through many things. Not speaking did not mean she did not know. Not resisting did not mean she accepted it. It was only that they had not yet touched her bottom line.
Fu Chou’s gaze shifted several times. He had always known she was intelligent, but he had not expected her to see so clearly.
“Since you knew, why did you still marry me, and not go with him?” He released her and retreated a little.
Man Yao did not answer. Fu Chou continued, “Because you do not love me? Because you are too proud, unable to tolerate deception and exploitation in matters of the heart, so you would rather be a political chess piece than turn back to his side?”
His gaze was fixed tightly on her eyes. She turned her head away, the hand hidden in her sleeve unconsciously clenching. Great waves rose and churned in her heart again. So it turned out that he also knew everything? That was why every time, he had appeared before her precisely when she needed him most.
Man Yao pressed her lips together, neither admitting nor denying it.
A long silence followed. Neither of them spoke again. Silver-white moonlight spilled through the cool, pale window paper, falling upon the two people who stood three steps apart, each with thoughts of their own. In the blazing summer heat, a trace of chill had unknowingly seeped in.
“It’s very late. Sleep.” Fu Chou suddenly sighed and came over to take her hand, leading her toward the bed. But she did not move. Then she heard him sigh again. “I won’t touch you.”
The night was peaceful. There was no candlelight, only faint moonlight.
Once Fu Chou came, it continued for six days straight.
Man Yao still could not grow used to having another person beside her, and always found it difficult to fall asleep. Because she did not know the thoughts of the person lying next to her, nor did she know what purpose he had in doing this.
Life truly made one feel so tired. Even the person beside one’s pillow had to be guessed at, again and again, leaving no peace. She closed her eyes, her breathing shallow.
The summer air contained such hot, stifling elements that one’s heart could not settle.
“Can’t sleep? Or do you not feel at ease with me?” The man lying beside her suddenly turned over and asked her with a smile.
Man Yao had known all along that he was not asleep, but she did not want to speak. She only wanted to lie there quietly. Toward Fu Chou, she was not particularly uneasy. For someone like him, if he truly wanted to do anything to her, there was no need to wait until she fell asleep.
Seeing that she kept her eyes closed and did not speak, Fu Chou propped his head up with one hand and looked at her lustrous black hair spread across the pillow. He could not help reaching out to touch it. That smooth, satin-like sensation, in this silent black night, made even a person’s heart unconsciously soften. And then there were her lashes, occasionally trembling lightly like butterfly wings, as if some heartstring had been plucked inadvertently—so very softly, once, then again, hard to notice, yet truly there.
She still kept her eyes tightly shut, neither speaking nor moving, as if she were sound asleep. He could not help laughing. “I know you’re awake. Rongle, since you cannot sleep, then let us… talk.”
“What does General wish to know? You may as well ask directly.” Only then did Man Yao open her eyes. Since when had she grown more and more averse to such roundabout ways of speaking?
Fu Chou said helplessly, “You… sigh! I only want to know more about you. I know far too little about you.”
Man Yao said faintly, “My affairs are all ordinary and commonplace. There is nothing special.”
Fu Chou did not think so. Could ordinary, commonplace experiences create such a cold and indifferent nature, as well as that expression of someone who had seen all the vicissitudes of life? He gently combed the hair beside her pillow with his fingers and sighed again. “You are always like this, keeping others a thousand li away. Rongle, I truly do not know what I must do to dissolve your defenses and enter your heart.”
Man Yao turned to look at him. His expression seemed very sincere, and she could not help turning her eyes away again. Frowning faintly, she said, “Isn’t things being like this very good? Why must General…”
“Don’t call me that.” Fu Chou suddenly interrupted her, accurately finding the place where her right hand rested and gripping it tightly. His gaze burned, and his voice was low and slow. “The title ‘General’ is for others to use. I am your husband, the person who will depend on and accompany you for a lifetime. Call me by my name.”
Depend on and accompany for a lifetime, with a man as unfathomable as him?
The summer night was quiet, incense smoke sparse. His especially bewitching tone lingered by her ear, and she keenly sensed that the man beside her was not content merely to lie at her side. He was moving closer to her little by little, trying to open her defenses. This feeling was a little familiar.
In a daze, she remembered that once, there had also been someone who said to her, “Just like that. Call my name.”
“In the future, when no one is around, you may call my name.”
Call my name…
Her heart sank. She suddenly frowned and asked coldly, “What benefit is there to you in obtaining my feelings?”
Zongzheng Wuyou had done it to use her body to resolve the symptoms of his qi deviation. Then what about Fu Chou? What did Fu Chou want her feelings for?
Fu Chou’s expression froze. He looked at her for a long while, and the tenderness in his eyes slowly sank under her cool, wary gaze. He released her hand and turned over to lie flat, his tone distant as he said, “It seems he wounded you very deeply, making you lose trust in everyone.”
Man Yao’s body stiffened. Her brows were still drawn together, and her gaze lowered slightly. Then she heard him sigh. “Whether you believe it or not, I treat you well out of sincerity. My name… has not been called by anyone for many years. I wanted to hear you call it once. There was no other meaning.”
His sigh carried sorrow, as if he had remembered some painful past, making her think of the vicissitudes in the sound of his qin at the eastern suburb inn. Perhaps behind every bright and glamorous exterior was bitterness unknown to others. She was like this, Zongzheng Wuyou was like this, and Fu Chou was also like this. But this did not mean that just because they had been wounded, they could freely use others to fill their wounds.
“It is only a name. Whether anyone calls it, or what they call you, what does it matter?” she said faintly. “Do not always think about the things you have already lost. Think more about what you possess now—power, status, martial arts, brothers who would live and die with you, loyal subordinates, wealth that others could never obtain even after exhausting their whole lives. Even if none of these are what you want, or if one day you lose them all, at the very least, you still have yourself—your body, your soul, your thoughts. As long as your life remains, these will still be yours. Compared to those who cannot even fully possess the most basic things, who even have to rely on everything belonging to others in order to survive, you are already very fortunate.”
Her voice was quiet and ethereal. She stared fixedly at the tightly shut window, not seeing the gaze of the man beside her changing little by little.
Fortunate? Fu Chou lowered his eyes. “Body, soul, thoughts…” he murmured. “If one possesses these, yet cannot be oneself? Would you also think he is fortunate?”
To possess oneself yet be unable to be oneself? Man Yao was slightly stunned. She turned her eyes to look at him and saw the hazy sorrow in his gaze. In only an instant, it was drowned in the depths of his eyes.
After that, there were no more words.
The entire night was silent; only the heartbeat and breathing of the person beside the pillow could be heard.
Just after the fourth watch, light gradually began to appear outside. Fu Chou rose earlier than he had the previous few days. Man Yao also prepared to get up, but Fu Chou stopped her. “You do not need to attend court. Why rise so early? Sleep a little more. I do not need you to serve me.”
Man Yao said, “It’s all right. I cannot sleep anyway. I should at least fulfill a wife’s duties.”
Fu Chou smiled. “A wife’s greatest duty is to bear descendants for her husband’s family.”
Man Yao’s movements froze, but then she heard him continue, “I will not require you to do that. I entered the military camp at twelve and am used to doing things myself. How could I need others to serve me in matters like these? Sleep. Be good.” His tone was like coaxing a child. He gently supported her shoulders and had her lie down again.
Very quickly, he was fully dressed. After washing up, he sat by the bed and smiled apologetically at her. “There are some important matters in the army today that I must personally handle, so I will return later. If you feel bored, go out for a walk. Right, do you still remember the Qingliang Lake I mentioned before? It is very cool there once summer arrives. If you want to go boating there, I’ll have Xiang Ying escort you.”
Man Yao shook her head. “No need. It will be enough to have Xiao Sha and Ling’er accompany me.”
She watched him walk to the door. Fu Chou suddenly turned back and said, “The flower-viewing banquet is tomorrow. His Majesty has ordered all officials to bring their wives and daughters to attend. Are you not curious?”
Man Yao followed along and asked, “Why?”
Fu Chou lowered his eyes, seeming to think for a moment before saying, “The prince of Chenfeng heard that our court has beauties as numerous as clouds and wishes to choose a woman for a marriage alliance. That is one reason. As for the other… you will know when the time comes.”
He spoke as if it were very mysterious, and Man Yao was too lazy to press him.
She was always like this, looking as though she did not care about or concern herself with anything. Fu Chou’s gaze flickered. He had just stepped one foot out the door when he paused again, turned back, and instructed, “The capital has not been peaceful lately. You must be more careful when you go out. Remember to bring more people with you.”
Man Yao nodded. He walked a few steps, then paused once more and turned his head again. In the bright morning light, his gaze seemed somewhat complicated and difficult to distinguish.
Man Yao smiled strangely. “What is wrong with you today? It seems as if once you leave, you will never see me again.”
Fu Chou’s expression stiffened. Then he said half-jokingly, “I suddenly don’t want to attend court. I want to stay at home and keep you company.”
Tender, reluctant affection overflowed from his eyes. Man Yao moved her gaze away, but he grew serious.
“Rongle, if you truly regard yourself as my wife, then remember… leave your heart for me. That is what I want most.”
This time, he truly left, leaving behind a room of quiet, lonely air that stirred the waters of one’s heart into disorder.