Xing’er was still hesitating, but my mother said sharply, “You are not allowed to go!”
Just then, the bandit above spoke again:
“Stop dawdling! The bold gorge themselves, the timid starve. Once the others get here, there won’t be any good stuff left for the two of us.”
“Then you go over first!”
……
So only two bandits had come!
I pried my mother’s hands apart with a burst of strength, grabbed Xing’er, and climbed up the steps.
As I climbed, I said, “Mother, don’t worry. There are only two of them, and one of them has no nerve. There’s nothing to be afraid of!”
Mother was still calling in a low, urgent voice for me to come down, but Xing’er and I had already climbed out of the cellar.
As it happened, I had already removed my makeup and let down my hair. If I simply tossed it over my face, I could easily pretend to be a ghost.
Xing’er pressed close beside me, so nervous he was panting. I was afraid he would give us away before we even reached the coffin.
With a quick turn of thought, I opened my mouth and sang, “Thus I descend the Homeward-Gazing Terrace, a lovely soul as if in dream; the night glimmers dimly, the tomb gate lies silent…”
This was the twenty-seventh act of The Dream of Returning Soul. The wandering of the soul.
And this line was sung by the ghostly female role. The moment the sound left my mouth, even I felt a chill crawl over me.
The wind sent the paper money on the ground flying everywhere. In the air still lingered the scent of incense burned while the Daoist priests chanted scriptures during the day.
Bandits had come to the house, and who knew where the servants keeping vigil had fled. The entire courtyard was cold and deserted, leaving only my eerie, ghostlike voice.
“Ghost—!” the timid bandit shrieked at the top of his lungs, then ran off with thudding steps.
The bold one remained. Clutching his broadsword, he retreated again and again, yet could not bear to leave.
Seeing that we had reached Lin Se’s coffin, I pinched Xing’er hard on the arm, signaling for him to push the coffin lid.
Xing’er had already lost his wits. I told him to push, so he went up and pushed.
Then I slowly stood up.
That night, I not only frightened off the two bandits who had intended to pry open the coffin; when the other bandits heard about it, they also ran away in a hurry.
By the time my father rushed over from the west courtyard, the calamity was already over.
That was the first time I saw my mother lose her temper at my father in front of everyone.
“If Juanyun hadn’t been brave, Lin Se’s coffin would have been pried open by thieves! And you call yourself the head of this household? All day long you only know how to drink that vixen’s bewitching soup. You’ve been drinking it for so many years—it’s about time you woke up! Inside and out, I’m the one managing everything. Thieves break into the house, and our lord is nowhere to be found. What are my daughter and I risking our lives for? Why don’t you simply divorce me and raise that woman from the west courtyard up in my place!”
I could not help but see my mother in a new light. I had never expected she had such a fierce side.
Roaming bandits were rising everywhere in the county, and public order was getting worse and worse.
This was no longer the first time bandits had robbed commoners.
That night, in our household, three gatekeeping manservants and one servant woman died. More than half of our banknotes, ornaments, jewels, and land deeds were lost.
And so the very next day, my father made up his mind: the whole family would go to the ancestral residence in Hangzhou to take refuge.
We set out two days later.
Before we left, I had Xing’er find time to visit the medical hall and see whether that man’s wounds had healed.
Xing’er came back and said that as soon as the physician had just managed to pull him back from the brink of death, he had secretly left.
When I heard that, I felt rather disappointed.
I wondered, with the outside world in such chaos, where could a gravely wounded man like him go? Who knew whether he would be able to return home safely?
And his short blade—I still had not had time to return it to him.
But very soon, I put him out of my mind.
Because I was busy packing trunks and preparing to go to Hangzhou.
I had never traveled far from home before, and I did not feel as if we were fleeing disaster. In fact, I even looked forward to it in secret.
At first, Mother and I sat in the same carriage.
But my mother liked quiet and was prone to drowsiness. My constantly lifting the curtain would disturb her peace, so I took the initiative and asked to sit in a carriage by myself.
Mother called Xing’er over and instructed him, “Stay with Eldest Miss. No matter what happens, you must protect her. If Eldest Miss suffers the slightest mishap, I’ll have your mother deal with you!”
Xing’er hurriedly raised his fingers and swore, “Madam, don’t worry. With me here, I guarantee Eldest Miss won’t suffer the slightest loss! Or the slightest fatigue! If Eldest Miss loses even a single strand of hair, I’ll pick it up and keep it for her!” His words made everyone around us laugh.
If I had known that would be the last time I ever saw my mother, I would never have parted from her.
My personal maids, Xiao Xia and Xiao Chun, along with Xing’er and I, admired the scenery and ate snacks inside the carriage.
Just as we were laughing and playing, the horse neighed, and suddenly went mad, bolting forward.
We were tossed about inside the carriage until the world spun and darkness swam before our eyes. We had no idea what was happening outside; we could only hear chaotic shouting, horses neighing and people crying out.
We had run into rebel soldiers.
With one slash, they cut off the legs of the mare pulling our carriage.
Xing’er held me and rolled out.
Xiao Xia and Xiao Chun sat screaming in the blood and filth, while rebel soldiers wearing yellow headscarves raised gleaming broadswords…
“Run! Hurry, run!”
Xing’er’s voice was trembling, but as soon as he rolled over, he sprang to his feet, grabbed my hand, and began to run.
We had no idea how far we ran. Only when no more sounds could be heard around us did we collapse dizzily onto the ground.
After that, I became separated from my family.
We retraced our steps and searched our way back, but apart from a few dead horses and wreckage strewn all over the ground, the dozens of people of the Lin household had vanished without a trace.
With no other choice, we walked on foot in the direction of Hangzhou.
With no silver, we could only sell the jewelry I was wearing.
Unfortunately, to avoid attracting notice and to keep our wealth from showing, I had dressed extremely plainly when we left. After eating a few meals and spending a few nights at inns, Xing’er and I were penniless.
At first, we were hungry—so hungry we could no longer walk. Then Xing’er sold his outer robe and exchanged it for a dozen or so flatbreads. Neither of us could bear to eat them; only when we were starving beyond endurance would we take a bite.
Fortunately, by then we had reached Yangzhou City.
Xing’er quickly became familiar with the beggar children in the city. He went out with them to beg, and every day we managed to get at least a mouthful to eat.
That day, Xing’er called me out of the ruined temple. Only after leading me all the way to a deserted little alley did he grin and tell me to close my eyes.
When I opened them, I saw a golden roast chicken.
“Where did you get this?” I asked in delight.
Those days had truly been miserable—miserable beyond imagination.
Back at home, roast chicken had been something I could barely force down a bite of. Yet now it gave off an irresistible fragrance, so tempting it was impossible to describe.
Xing’er said, “My mother sewed a banknote into the lining of my clothes. I never had the heart to spend it. Today is Eldest Miss’s birthday, and I thought you hadn’t eaten meat in such a long time, so I bought a roast chicken as a gift. Eldest Miss, don’t disdain it. Once we find Master and Madam, I’ll make it up to you with a grand gift.”
My stomach growled. My eyes fixed tightly on the roast chicken, I swallowed and said, “This is the best gift I’ve ever received! No more talking—eat, eat!”
Just as the two of us were eating with relish, several men hurried over from the mouth of the alley.
Xing’er immediately panicked and shoved me, telling me to run quickly.
I asked him what had happened, but he told me not to ask and to hurry up and run.
He said he would run in the other direction; if I followed him, he would not be able to run fast.
My instincts told me that was not the truth. But life wandering outside had turned us into rabbits in the wild—at the slightest rustle of grass, we fled for our lives.
Only after Xing’er saw me run out of the alley did he plunge into another alley.
That day, I searched until dark before I found Xing’er. He had been viciously beaten and was lying in filthy water, nearly dead.
Xing’er’s eyes were swollen high, so he could only force open a narrow slit. His face was swollen too, and bloody water trickled from his mouth. When he saw me, he mumbled something.
Crying, I bent down beside his mouth to listen. He was saying, “Be well, Eldest Miss. You must be well.”
He could not even open his eyes, yet he gripped my hand with all his strength. After he loosened his hand, there was an extra banknote in my palm.
I wiped away my tears, took the banknote, and went to find a physician.
Those physicians, who had seemed kind and courteous before, saw that I was dressed in rags and refused even to listen to me finish speaking.
After much difficulty, I found an itinerant physician. He took my banknote, came over to look at Xing’er, and said Xing’er’s lungs and internal organs were injured. To cure him would cost a great sum of silver; the small banknote I had would be gone after buying a single prescription.
When I heard that, I felt as if the sky had collapsed.
I had been separated from my family, and it was entirely thanks to Xing’er that I had managed to last this long. If he died, I surely would not be able to live on either.
I sat beside Xing’er and cried until the world spun darkly around me. When I wiped my tears, I discovered that the itinerant physician still had not left. He was sitting to one side, smoking his pipe.
Seeing that I had stopped crying, he said, “I’ll give you an idea. Yesterday, I saw the steward of Vice Minister Cao’s household buying maidservants from a broker. The Cao family has high standards; perhaps they haven’t found enough people yet. You’re a rather good-looking little girl. Why don’t you go find a broker and try? Once you get the silver, I’ll buy medicine for him and treat him. How about it?”