Early morning, and once again, the earsplitting clanging of pots and pans assaulted her ears. Most offensive of all, unwashed cabbage leaves still clung to that blackened wok. Someone reached out, ripped the quilt off herself, and hurled it toward the source of the racket. The snow-white quilt sent the massive pot slamming directly onto a certain man’s face, followed naturally by a scream like a pig being slaughtered.
“Little Sis, it’s the weekend. You don’t have class, so it should be fine for you to go, right?” Rubbing his face, the man shamelessly shot her a flirtatious smile.
“Put away that lecherous ugly mug of yours. You didn’t brush your teeth last night either, did you?” The woman wasn’t buying it. She lay back down on the bed, wanting to continue her sweet dreams.
“But you clearly promised…”
“Last week when we went to the Qin Dynasty, your dear sis got locked inside a mausoleum and nearly suffocated. After I got back, I caught a virus and broke out in blisters all over. Everyone thought I had syphilis and locked me in the bathroom for a whole night eating shit.”
“That’s not—”
“The week before last, we went to the Western Jin. Seeing Emperor Hui’s empress, Jia Nanfeng, your dear sis couldn’t eat for a week, walked around like I was floating, and fainted at the entrance of the school’s men’s room. The whole class is still laughing at me.”
“You—”
“The week before that, we went to the Ten Kingdoms. Damn it, Southern Tang and Chu were at war when we arrived. Your dear sis got buried under a pile of corpses, wrapped in straw mats by soldiers, and tossed into the sea to nearly feed the sharks.” The woman kept talking nonstop, her saliva unknowingly spraying the man’s face full.
“Daughter…” An old man joined the fray as well.
“And you, Dad. Bro doesn’t bathe for a month, doesn’t brush his teeth for half a year, doesn’t change clothes for a year, and does nothing decent all day long. Why are you going along with his nonsense? You can’t bring anything back from ancient times, can’t take photos, can’t get rich, and it’s a waste of time. Why are you two still so gung-ho about it?” Seeing that the old man had also spoken up, Su Zhirui turned the spearhead to the other side.
“Zhirui, last time. Bro swears on my life. Last time.” The man still refused to give up. He wanted to time-travel too—after crossing over to ancient times, no one would force him to bathe, brush his teeth, or wash clothes, dishes, and pots (and still fail to get them clean).
“Whoever believes your words is a pig.” After finishing her tirade against the two, Su Zhirui flopped back onto her stomach. There was absolutely no room for negotiation.
“Bro will put up all of Bro’s equipment as collateral…” Seeing that there really was no negotiating, the man finally played his trump card.
“Really?” After a pause, Su Zhirui came back to her senses. Her suspicious gaze traveled up and down the man’s body once before she nodded slightly. “Last time?” Swishing her beautiful, big wavy hair, a wicked, scheming look spread across her face.
“Last time.” The man also revealed a wicked grin, nodding hurriedly in agreement.
Seeing that his daughter had agreed, the old man immediately took out the clothing he had prepared for her.
“Damn, what dynasty’s clothes are these?” Seeing the nearly transparent garments, her fury shot to the heavens. Were they planning to send her to a brothel to work as a prostitute this time?
“Daughter, this time…”
“Alright, alright, hurry up. I still have to sleep when I get back.” Standing in their family’s huge basement, Su Zhirui interrupted her father impatiently. She knew he was about to say which era, but it was always the same few dynasties back and forth, and this father-son pair never showed any originality.
Father Su’s face showed a hint of worry. He looked like he wanted to say something but stopped himself. Yet seeing her irritated expression, he swallowed his words.
Wearing that heavy equipment, Su Zhirui only felt her head grow dizzy and her consciousness blur. In that final instant, all she saw were two large, square faces with different expressions, and a terrible premonition suddenly welled up inside her.
“Son, do you think something might happen to Zhirui? This time it’s not a historical dynasty. We don’t even know which space-time it is. If we lose contact with her, we’ll never find her again.” Father Su still seemed somewhat worried. Gazing in the direction his daughter had disappeared, he let out a long sigh.
“Dad, don’t worry. I guarantee nothing will go wrong.” The man waved his hand, looking fully confident. Seeing his wicked grin, the old man immediately and tactfully covered his own nose to avoid getting knocked out by the foul stench.
In a certain town, on a certain patch of grass, the first thing Su Zhirui did after waking up was immediately throw away the device that could contact that pig of a man. Swinging her soft long hair, she couldn’t help but reveal a charming smile. “Wait until this old lady is dead before going back to be your time-travel professional. You damn Su Zhiye, this young lady is going to find someone to marry right now.”
But marry whom? With tastes as hardcore as hers, who would marry her without a second thought? Right now, which dynasty it was or who the emperor was didn’t matter to her at all. What mattered was where she could go to pick up a man willing to marry her.
In ancient times, the rich ones were all young masters. The powerful ones were too arrogant. The high-status ones were too hard to serve. And anyone who combined all three was absolutely the ultimate specimen under heaven. If she married one of those, sooner or later she’d be thrown a divorce letter and left to gnaw bones at the door.
Thinking all the way along, she randomly chose a crossroads to stand at, her beautiful phoenix eyes looking all around. With so many ordinary people passing by, she probably wouldn’t be so unlucky as to run into some emperor on an incognito tour, right?
Her phoenix eyes closed. She silently counted to five, gathered her courage, and opened her eyes. She was stunned.
Uh, walking toward her really was a man.
Very tall, with a slender build, dressed in simple, coarse cloth clothes, jet-black hair bound tightly at the nape of his neck. He walked slowly toward her, yet carried a faint, mysterious aura.
Except for that face, he was very ordinary. Wearing straw sandals, so he definitely had no money. With a cold face, so he definitely spoke little.
She just stared at the man like a lovesick fool for a very long time. Only when he was about to walk out of her sight did she finally react.
In two or three steps, she rushed up and grabbed the man’s arm.
“Can you marry me?” She looked straight into the man’s eyes and asked, completely lacking the self-awareness that a woman should be reserved.
To my readers:
New book starting.