EP.82 The Eraser in the Mind
No matter what, an unmarried man and woman cannot spend the night in the same room. To Tirkanjaka, that was common sense she dared not doubt.
Tirkanjaka let him into the room and laid him on the bed. She couldn't bring herself to undress him, so she had to let him sleep in his clothes, uncomfortable as it might be.
Perhaps it was due to the fatigue accumulated over three days. The moment his head touched the pillow, he fell asleep instantly.
After silently covering him with the blanket and stepping out, Tirkanjaka took her place in front of his room. Sitting on the coffin with her parasol draped over her shoulder, she stayed up all night, using the sound of his breathing from inside as her background.
During that time, just before the day lamp turned on, the King of Dogs appeared. Azi, the King of Dogs, walking lightly from far down the corridor. Tirkanjaka briefly tightened her grip on the parasol, but...
"Woof?"
Azi merely tilted his head even after seeing Tirkanjaka.
She was freshly reminded of what she had regained. Tirkanjaka felt a small wave of emotion.
It was merely the fact that the King of Dogs did not bark, but even such a small thing became a joy to her. Regained emotions touched her even in such trivial aspects.
"He really doesn't bark..."
Azi spoke to Tirkanjaka, who was blocking the front of the door.
"Woof! It's morning! I have to wake him up!"
"Wait. I will wake..."
"Woof! Woof!"
While Tirkanjaka opened the door, Azi darted in like a bolt through the opened gap. And then he ran around wildly, barking fiercely.
Startled, Tirkanjaka hurried in after Azi.
Azi was loud enough. Enough to wake even someone who had lost his memory.
He slowly raised his body like a mummy. Even though he woke up after a short sleep, he was still staring vacantly into empty space with unfocused eyes.
"Are you awake?"
Tirkanjaka spoke to him like yesterday. She didn't expect a reply. She just said it to create a routine for him.
Then.
"Hello..."
At the voice coming from the bed, Tirkanjaka was so surprised that her heart almost dropped.
"Shei! Shei!"
Taking him straight to sit in the coffin and flying over, Tirkanjaka immediately came looking for Shei. When Shei opened the door rubbing her eyes, Tirkanjaka showed him staring blankly and shouted.
"It seems he has regained his memory!"
"Huh?"
"This morning, as soon as he woke up, he greeted me, didn't he? His memory must be returning for sure!"
Tirkanjaka said with a voice still brimming with excitement. In contrast, Shei's reaction was lukewarm.
"Well? From what I see, it looks like he still has a long way to go. Look at that vacant face. He's completely different from his usual self."
"Isn't he better than yesterday? Yesterday he only occasionally repeated what I said, but today he even spoke on his own. He must be remembering words!"
Seeing the excited Tirkanjaka, Shei hesitated for a moment. She would be disappointed if she told her the truth.
However, Shei lacked the ability to tell sweet lies. It wasn't in her personality, either.
"Losing one's memory in that way isn't losing memories as information. Information like knowledge or language remains in the head. It's just that the ego that connects it to oneself and draws it out has disappeared."
He didn't seem to realize it was his own story. Even while listening to the story, he just stared blankly from atop the coffin.
Shei looked at him and muttered.
"Look. He's not showing any particular reaction. He probably doesn't even know who he is right now."
"But, it's a little different. Look."
Tirkanjaka approached him with quick steps. He, who had been sitting blankly, finally reacted when Tirkanjaka came close. Tirkanjaka patted his shoulder, then pointed at Shei and whispered.
"Now, there. Try greeting Shei."
He, sitting there staring blankly like a baby, and Tirkanjaka, who took care of him devotedly.
Seeing that sight, Shei muttered inwardly.
'Ah, I feel like I'm going to get cognitive dissonance.'
On the outside, they were a fully grown adult male and a young girl. Yet the girl was taking care of him like a mother.
Moreover, that adult male was the instructor of the military nation who, just a few days ago, was smiling slyly and exuding a highly suspicious atmosphere. The one who made Shei tense up countless times was now sitting with the most innocent face in the world, being attended to by Tirkanjaka, making her feel like she was losing her mind.
'I understand Tirkanjaka's feelings. It seems something went wrong while she was fixing his heart, so she must feel a great sense of responsibility.'
However, Shei still couldn't let her guard down. Reading everything from where he sat, and lifting and dropping people with just a note—that was the type of shadowy mastermind she hated the most.
It would be one thing if he only seemed like a shadowy mastermind. But because he had so easily fixed the Progenitor's heart, Shei couldn't even fathom his true intentions.
Neither just a shadowy mastermind nor completely white, an existence close to chaos.
'Really, is that really not an act? There's no particular reason to do it, but...'
Even without any reason, he was the kind of person who would casually commit crazy acts. Even if she wanted to put aside her doubts, it constantly left a trace in one corner like a scar.
It was when Shei was glaring at him with a sharp gaze.
"Greet..."
Understanding Tirkanjaka's words, he bowed his head passively toward Shei.
"H-hello..."
The fact that even that attitude he was showing now was suspicious was probably due to his past conduct. Shei waved her hand.
"This is meaningless. I'm telling you, you can greet even if you lose your memory..."
"...Unnie."
"?!?!"
Goosebumps crept up Shei's arms.
Chills ran all over her body.
Along with that, accompanied by a physiological sense of repulsion, she felt like she was losing her mind. Shei cried out urgently.
"Wh-what, what are you saying! It should be 'Noona'!"
Tirkanjaka pointed out.
"Shei, wouldn't 'Hyung' be correct?"
"Oops, right, Hyung, no, I'm, younger, more than that! Wait! Everyone freeze where you are!"
When severely flustered, there was only one attitude Shei took. Grabbing Cheon-ang, which she kept floating at her bedside, she generated a wind.
Whoosh. Compressed air spread in all directions. A complex air current formed centered around Shei, and as the wind brushed through the narrow gap of the door, a sound similar to a beast's roar flowed out.
"What is the matter all of a sudden?"
Tirkanjaka, who lowered her parasol to block the wind, frowned and looked back. Fortunately, because she blocked the wind, his body didn't fall backward.
Shei fiddled with her beloved sword Cheon-ang and regained her stability.
"Phew. Just trying to cool my head for a moment."
"If you cool it a second time, the prison might be uprooted. Be careful. Anyway, do you understand now? Why I said it was different?"
"Yeah. I get it..."
The title 'Unnie' is a word used by a younger woman to call an older woman. It is something that can only come out when one has the ability to objectively measure the distance between oneself and the other person.
In other words, it means that he not only has a perception of himself but also some level of ability to perceive the other person...
"But why 'Unnie' of all things?! It's the exact opposite!"
'That guy is a man, so why is he recognizing himself as a woman!'
It was a remark aimed strictly at him, but Tirkanjaka, who interpreted it the other way around, propped her chin on her hand and examined Shei up and down.
"Hmm. You are a bit pretty. Enough that it wouldn't be strange to mistake you for a woman... As a woman..."
As her words suddenly grew longer, Tirkanjaka's brow quickly narrowed. Tirkanjaka seriously looked back and forth between Shei and the instructor several times, then groaned as if worried about something.
Then, she approached him and explained gently.
"Do not be confused. Although Shei has a small build, slender limbs, and a pretty face, he is undeniably a man. A man in name and reality."
"Man?"
"Yes. He is a man, so make sure to keep that in mind. He is not an Unnie, and definitely not a Noona. Getting that wrong is the height of rudeness."
Rather than correcting a misunderstanding, the words were full of a sense of caution. Shei felt an indescribable emotion as she saw Tirkanjaka glancing at her.
'The attitude she showed yesterday, too. Ugh, don't tell me. Did she really melt her frozen heart? Has the suspicion I had really become reality?'
Then, much belatedly, Shei realized something strange.
Just as Tirkanjaka said, Shei is currently disguised as a man. This was due to an artifact, so it worked even without Shei paying much attention to it.
Yet, he called Shei 'Unnie'.
Unnie. In other words, a word that can only be used when recognizing the other person as a woman.
'Wait. Did he see through the Mask of Agartha? How?'
Instantly, a new doubt arose. Could it be that he had seen through Shei's male disguise from the beginning?
But Shei quickly erased the doubt.
'That's impossible. The Mask of Agartha definitely has an effect. Enough that Tirkanjaka and others still believe me to be a man. And if he saw through the disguise, it would be weird to bring it up now.'
Then how?
Shei quickly found a rational hypothesis.
'Right. My artifact, the Mask of Agartha, has the ability to determine first impressions. First impressions are an important factor that affects subsequent meetings... but the extent this artifact can influence is strictly the first impression. It doesn't work on someone who has already met me.'
This meant one thing. It wasn't that he was seeing Shei for the first time, but that his first impression of her was gone.
In other words, the fact that he had lost his memory.
'He definitely seems to have lost his memory. I can let go of my doubts... No, maybe I can use this as an opportunity to naturally clear up the misunderstanding that I'm a man...'
She had cross-dressed to enter the Abyss, and maintained it just in case... but surprisingly, Shei wasn't hung up on cross-dressing. She often forgot the fact that she was cross-dressing herself.
Rather than strictly maintaining the male disguise, it might be better to clear up the misunderstanding now and build a comfortable relationship. That said, she didn't want to forcibly reveal her gender by stripping off her clothes.
If this naturally planted the recognition that Shei could be a woman...
"Man..."
"Yes. A man. Did you remember?"
As soon as Tirkanjaka finished speaking, he nodded greatly and muttered.
"Somehow, it was ambiguously homo."
Somehow. Ambiguous.
Though not fashioned into words, the word that should go between them rang in her ears, meaning it was 'ambiguous even to consider her a woman'. Regardless of the Mask of Agartha...
Veins popped on Shei's temples. With a terrifying face, she beckoned him.
"Hey. Just you, come here for a moment. You have your memory, don't you!"
The instinct to sense danger appeared before his ego. He got scared and hid behind Tirkanjaka. Then, Tirkanjaka gave a benevolent smile, patted him, and soon began to scold Shei.
"Shei. Don't scare him too much. He's frightened, isn't he?"
"No, isn't he suspicious? Look at the way he talks! He's subtly provoking me!"
"It's true that you are ambiguous. For a man, your features are so delicate that even I got confused sometimes."
"Confused is the end of it?!"
'Wait. Didn't that guy just now say something other than ambiguous?!'
As Shei glared, Tirkanjaka clung even closer and wrapped her arms around him. The parasol Tirkanjaka wore hid his face.
"I wouldn't know about before, but now, having lost his memory while trying to help me, he is no different from a child who knows nothing. How can you think of blaming him?"
"It's suspicious enough that he's confused about my gender, but in the first place, recognizing himself as a woman makes no sense! There's absolutely no reason for that! Hey! Tell me honestly. You didn't lose your memory, did you?! You're just laughing on the inside, aren't you?!"
"Now it's slander? For a man, your heart is so narrow. That's too much. Isn't it?"
With Tirkanjaka shielding the instructor to the very end, Shei could only fume without being able to do anything. However, her glaring eyes were so fierce that he, with only his instincts left, got scared and hid behind Tirkanjaka's back.
And Tirkanjaka secretly enjoyed that fact. That was also one of the reasons she didn't strictly scold Shei.
Feeling the hand gripping her collar tightly, Tirkanjaka patted him again.
"Don't worry. Didn't I say I would take responsibility for you?"
"Tha-nk, you. Um..."
As his voice trailed off, Tirkanjaka gently added.
"Didn't I tell you earlier? Call me, Tir."
"Yes, Tir."
"Yes, good boy."
Shei was so dumbfounded that her jaw just dropped.
'I didn't even intend to attack! Don't use others as the villain!'
It was becoming quite a spectacle.
Even if she didn't want to doubt, it kept popping up abruptly. If he was pretending to have lost his ego, that would be breathtaking, but even if he really lost it, it was amazing. How could a person act so suspiciously even after losing their memory?
Shei, who had been grinding her teeth for a while, suddenly came up with a good idea.
"Wait. Why didn't I think of that?"
If he really lost his memory, he would answer questions honestly.
If he was pretending to have lost his memory, he would trail off on questions that were difficult to answer.
'In the former case, I can find out his secret information, and in the latter, I can see through his act. This is an opportunity!'
Either way, there was nothing to lose. Shei said excitedly.
"Tirkanjaka. Now. Now is the chance to extract information from him!"
Of course, Tir wouldn't nod immediately. However, Shei was confident she could persuade her.
As expected, Tir immediately showed a negative reaction.
"Information? Do you mean to interrogate someone who has lost his memory? What more are you trying to dig up. Absolutely not..."
"His name, or rank, or the reason he came here, or his abilities! If not now, there's no chance to know!"
But, if she stimulated her curiosity. Wearing a smile of conviction, Shei subtly suggested.
"How about it?"
Tir, who was about to vehemently object, stopped mid-sentence.
"Name, a name."
Muttering softly, Tir looked at him once with a face half filled with curiosity and half with guilt, then closed her eyes slightly and took a step back, expressing her passive agreement to Shei.
"...If I am to continue taking care of him, I should at least know the minimum. Like his name. Hmm."
The wall that had been protecting him disappeared. He stared intently at Tir, but she only avoided his gaze.