Hmm. To confess here that her mother was a courtesan. No matter how I phrased it, it would only sound unfilial. I cautiously softened my words.
"Your mother chose a profession that sells love, I see. Thanks to that, you must have had many fathers. How wonderful."
"Yes. Thanks to that, I got to meet you, Father, so it's really... wonderful."
"What nonsense. I've never been to such places, nor do I have the power to keep courtesans! I even worked part-time at a host bar because I had no money!"
If anything, I was the one who sold, not bought! ...Huh. Wasn't this the time to look down on others as a courtesan? I ended up spitting upward while lying down.
"Father came not as a customer but as an employee.... He went because the pleasure house was trying to start a business targeting women, but ended up falling for a courtesan instead, so they kicked him out right away."
"Now that's your setting?"
"Thanks to that, 'I' gained... the best father, though."
Even I have professional ethics. At the Military Nation's host bar, I never touched anyone directly connected to the workplace, not even a speck. Hilde's setting was an absurd smear.
But... now I somewhat understand why Hilde insists on calling me father.
"Hilde's audience was your father. Was the acting to impress a father who changed every time?"
"...Yes. The customers of the pleasure house came to see my mother. 'I' am a trace left by my mother's old customers, so the fathers shunned me. To my mother as well, my existence was no different from a flaw that lowered her price and reputation."
"She gave birth to you and yet makes a fuss."
"In the Empire and vassal states that follow the Celestial God's doctrine, if a child is conceived, it must be born. It's the same even in a pleasure house. Thanks to that, 'I' was born, but... for a child to survive, 'I' also had to curry favor with others."
Hilde muttered as she recalled a past she could barely remember.
"The first father didn't even want to see me. Every time he saw me, he would grimace and gesture for me to be taken away. I didn't know it then, but looking back now, it seems it was from the sense of defeat of not being able to possess my mother. The only time he smiled at me was... when 'I' called him Father. A twisted smile, as if intoxicated by victory...."
"Haha. Your first father must have cherished his wife greatly."
"He said he didn't want to bring home a flower someone else had plucked, and never acknowledged me until the end."
"Damn it. Having so many parents means everything I say becomes a personal attack. What am I supposed to do."
It felt like being told to walk through a minefield. I was left with no choice but to listen to Hilde's words.
"...My very existence is my mother's flaw. Because of me, the rank of distinguished guests seeking my mother dropped, and her price fell. It would be better if it could be hidden, but... rumors attached to a courtesan never disappear. As her popularity kept declining, my mother grew very angry. She said it was because of me."
"Hmm. Would it be rude to say it was just depreciation over time...?"
It must have been a bit rude. Hilde pinched my side with her hand. She didn't use qi energy at all, but pinching hurts even without it.
"The only ones kind to me were the fathers who visited my mother. The fathers who at least tried to maintain outward dignity used me as a device to display their benevolence. I struggled to please them. At least while they were present, I could pretend to play family."
"Hilde's acting started from there, didn't it?"
"...I suppose so. Should I call it acting? Or coquetry? I had to act so as not to be abandoned by my father, and not to be a burden to my mother. To an authoritative father, I became a good and obedient me; to a vain father, I became a clever and cheeky me; to an old father, I became a whining me."
"Called a courtesan and got an ideal daughter too? At that point, it's not a flaw but an added option."
It was meant to lighten the mood, but Hilde muttered in self-mockery.
"It was the ordinary process of a courtesan's daughter becoming a courtesan. If I had stayed there, I might have ended up selling love like my mother."
"That's a relief. Ah, I don't mean that your mother's profession is something that must be avoided."
"Working in a troupe is much better compensated and freer than being a courtesan bound to a pleasure house."
"Which beat am I supposed to follow?"
Hilde gave a small smile and whispered to my grumbling self.
"...That's what I thought, but as Father said, 'I' simply needed an audience. No matter how many skills I acquire and arts I learn, it's meaningless without an audience to watch. Unlike other humans, 'I' am not composed of myself. I always need someone to define me."
What Hilde acts out is her past self. From the moment she began acting until now, she deliberately forgot everything she had experienced, forcibly summoning the self from that time. When she was acting and got caught up in an incident and was pursued, when she sought refuge with the Celestial God and operated as the Holy Sword Order, when she was summoned by the Saintess and operated in the shadows as the Shadow Cabinet. Having forgotten her previous roles and returned to a more innocent time, Hilde stood at the starting point and whispered to me.
"Father can become that person. If you take me in. I will become a daughter only for you. Not possessing you as a father, but you will possess me."
The fathers, the audiences, even the Celestial God and the Saintess. Having made them all her audience and been disappointed by them all, Hilde now clung to me, the last one she found.
"If you command, I will obey anything, serving you with body and soul. I will become a Holy Sword Order only for you."
The meaning of abandoning both the Military Nation and the Celestial God, and using everything for me. It meant gaining a faithful and devoted slave who would serve me with all her heart. And a Six-star level powerhouse at that.
One who could transform into whatever appearance I desired, act with that tone, and infiltrate anywhere—a Shadow Cabinet operative.
It was a rather bold temptation. All the more so because it felt genuine. If I were an ordinary, normal person, I might have accepted it without hesitation.
But unfortunately, I am truly an ordinary human.
"Is this performance an autobiography of yourself? Quite impressive."
My will is sufficient if it moves me alone. I have no intention of becoming a sect master who dominates subordinates like a vampire. Otherwise, the aspirations of my subordinates would go to waste.
I gently pushed Hilde away and spoke.
"But having lived enough years, it's time to become independent. How long will you keep looking for a father? No matter how much a father dotes on his daughter, if she stays beyond the age of independence, I can only look on with mixed feelings."
A firm rejection. Hilde blinked from inside the blanket. Perhaps she hadn't expected her offer, in which she offered even herself, to be refused so easily. Hilde smiled sadly and said,
"...You're too harsh. Am I not enough to satisfy you?"
"I'm letting you go because I am satisfied. The moment I can handle you as I wish, it stops being fun. I cherish and love my own hands, but I don't think of them as interesting or wondrous beings. If an actor moves exactly as I think, why would I go to the theater?"
There must be people who get confused because I bear the title King of Beasts. The King of Beasts is not one who dominates beasts. A representative of beasts, that is, one who is swayed by beasts.
If a representative arbitrarily handles the beasts they're supposed to represent, that's just demagoguery. If that were the case, there'd be no need for a King of Beasts in the first place.
As I calmly replied, Hilde suddenly recalled something and asked,
"Father. You have no intention of becoming the king of the Military Nation, do you?"
Huh.
Hitting the core right here...? Caught right on the mark, I faltered for a moment, and Hilde calmly placed her hand on my chest and muttered.
"I felt it while watching. You have no intention of dominating anyone else. You simply observe and watch over. That's why you have no attachment to anything. You easily left the Military Nation behind, and easily parted with Tirkanchaka."
"That's..."
"If you won't even take 'me', you'd have no reason to take a nation. 'My' plan was hopeless from the start."
Warmth slowly returned to Hilde's body. From the moment I rejected Hilde's new role, she had put her old role back on. Having returned to being the Holy Sword Order, the Shadow Cabinet, and the Hilde who followed the King of Humans, she shoved me. Unlike before, her gesture carried qi energy, and I was pushed back without resisting.
With the blanket draped over her shoulders, Hilde looked down at me coldly and said to herself,
"Father would rather I use force and drag you to the Military Nation. You'd prefer me to act according to my own wishes."
"That's not necessarily true. I do have intentions of visiting the Military Nation."
"But... you will absolutely never become the king of the Military Nation."
I can't deny it.
True. If I had wanted to be king, I wouldn't have left it to Captain Aby or Historia. It's enough for me that humans are the ones deciding humanity's fate.
"If only you had lied and said you'd take me, it would have been easier for both of us."
"I felt uncomfortable with that, so I couldn't."
To Hilde, who spoke in self-mockery, I answered honestly.
"Even if it means being abandoned by Hilde, I couldn't lose such a fine actor. Using humanity's treasure for my own selfish desires is a waste."
"...."
It's a shame, but it can't be helped. That's the King of Beasts. Contrary to what's known to the world, the King of Humans dominates no one. Unless humans themselves feel as if they're being dominated.
That is the life of a natural existence....
Once again, I felt a sense of dissonance. What I did was, inevitably, a judgment befitting the King of Beasts, but something that had taken form inside my heart was tugging at me.
I couldn't distinguish it clearly last time I felt it... but I am a mind reader. I know better than anyone what happens inside the heart.
That is my heart.
My heart that cannot do as my heart pleases.
"We have to escape beyond the duchy anyway, whether Father or I. Like it or not, I have no choice but to stay with Father~. Tch. How annoying."
Hilde muttered sullenly, and I found myself blurting out words.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize. It only makes me more miserable~. Just go to sleep."
Hilde, who snapped at me sharply, lay down on top of me just like that. She climbed on as if my body were a bed, curled up, and closed her eyes. Before long, the sound of her steady breathing could be heard.
I was about to say that sleeping like that would give her a cold, but stopped myself. Whatever. She's using qi energy right now. Sleeping naked wouldn't be a problem.
Steam was rising from the water barrel heated by the power of lightning. The hot, humid air filled the small earthen cave. At this rate, it seemed fine for sleeping while holding a stove. I too sought sleep beneath the blanket.