EP.118 A Meal at Tantalus
“Hey, Azi!”
“Whine….”
“Did I or did I not tell you not to sneak food when no one was looking?”
I scolded Azi with a deliberately angry expression. This time, having no excuse, Azi rolled his eyes back and forth.
Last time, I had accused him without evidence and suffered the backlash, but this time was different. I had caught him red-handed, skulking around the dining hall when it was nowhere near mealtime and lifting the lid off a pot.
He had been caught in the act.
“The food’s been disappearing at night lately. So it was you!”
“Whine? I’m not a thief!”
“Don’t talk back!”
After shouting him down, I left Azi where he was and headed for the cooking fire.
“If you’re hungry, just tell me! Then I’ll—”
Shlaaak.
Golden rice came into view. It was said that eating even a single grain of immortal rice would leave you as full as if you had eaten an entire meal. That was an exaggeration, but it was still an excellent ingredient.
I mixed the immortal rice with mashed beans, then slowly poured in stock simmered with herbs and meat, reducing it into risotto. It looked rather like dog porridge, but—
After serving it into a fresh bowl, I lightly fried it in a pan.
I did not use much oil. Azi did not like greasy food very much. Instead, I mixed in the bean-canning soup from the large pot, thickened it until it became rich, and then placed it on a plate.
Having grown accustomed to sharing meals, Azi immediately took his seat at the table. I set the plate down in front of him and rang a bell.
Jingle.
“Otherwise, how am I supposed to warm it up before giving it to you?”
“Woof!”
Along with the bell that had now become a signal, Azi’s eyes sparkled as he plunged his face straight into the plate.
They say generosity comes from a well-stocked granary. Thanks to the investor’s funding, we had obtained more luxurious ingredients than ever before, and we had begun spending them as extravagantly as nouveau riche.
Our caution before the ingredients we had only heard about in rumors lasted but a moment. Already accustomed to them, we cast aside our former conservative attitude and advanced toward progress. We were no longer afraid of failure, cheered at novel attempts, and threw frugality out the window.
Since I was taking care of Azi anyway, I put some risotto on my own plate and scooped up a spoonful. Its flavor was not refined, but thanks to the liberal use of high-quality ingredients, the wild, rampaging taste was impressive.
“With ingredients this good, even dog food tastes delicious.”
I had wasted a bit this time, so perhaps I should make something a little more stable next time.
It was fine even if they could not eat it. I could always give it to Azi or Nabi.
“Meow. Even so, it’s still dog food.”
That was when Nabi appeared in the dining hall. She licked her forepaw. When she saw the food in the pot and frying pan, she frowned.
“Myaaah. Every single dish is unacceptable. Only a stupid dog would happily eat them, meow. The quality is too low to enter my mouth.”
I tilted my head and asked,
“Did Shay not give you your medicine? Why did you come all the way here just to be irritable?”
“I’m complaining about the food, servant! I will only eat something forced on me once, meow!”
“You’re calling me a servant? You, a beast?”
“If preparing food and doing odd jobs does not make you a servant, then what does?”
Nabi waved her forepaw in displeasure.
I could understand where she was coming from. Nabi was a carnivore. If it was not meat, she could barely eat it at all. We had mainly been using grains because there was more grain than meat, and she must have come here to complain about the grain-heavy diet.
Of course, that did not mean I had any reason to indulge a drug-addicted cat. I gestured to Azi, who swallowed the food in his mouth with a gulp and stood up.
Nabi continued whining without noticing the shadow falling over her from behind.
“Myaaah! This is as far as my patience goes! For the next menu, make something a little more suited to me—”
“Nom.”
“Mya-hiss?!”
Azi had crept up from behind and bitten Nabi by the neck. With her lifeline seized in an instant, Nabi’s fur stood on end all over her body, and she froze as if she had been stuffed. The only part of her that moved was her eyes, rolling anxiously from side to side.
Using Azi to subdue Nabi in one swift motion, I walked toward her, rolling my neck from side to side.
“You, you little bastard. If our investor hadn’t given us such a generous supply of ingredients, you would have been the first one kicked out.”
“Myaaah. Myaaah. Myaaah….”
I advanced threateningly toward the pitifully crying Nabi and reached inside my coat. Nabi’s eyes grew even wider.
“But even if you don’t celebrate my birthday, you have to celebrate the birthday of the magistrate’s dog. I can’t mistreat our investor’s pet.”
What I pulled out was a can. But it did not contain cooked chimera beans.
It was a Military State specialty compressed can. Anyone skilled in alchemy could recycle the can. I opened the lid of the can I had spent all last night making and held it out to Nabi.
Inside was a special snack for cats: wet meat food made by mixing salted meat with bean preserves and thinning it out.
“Myaaah?”
“To go to the trouble of cooking something separately for a mere animal is nothing short of a disgrace to humanity… but I normally never do this sort of thing. Consider it a special favor because of our patron. Got it?”
“Myaaah….”
When I held out the can, Nabi stuck out her tongue and tasted it even while still being held by the scruff of her neck. Apparently liking it, she began licking it eagerly.
With Nabi completely absorbed in her snack, Azi, suddenly left hanging, slowly withdrew his mouth from her neck. Then he stared at me and barked reproachfully.
“Whine….”
“Huh? What’s wrong?”
“I listen well…. I’m good…. Whine…. But….”
Azi looked at Nabi and the can as forlornly as if the entire world had betrayed him.
I asked, dumbfounded,
“You eat the same food as us while sitting at the table. You even share the table with us.”
“Woof! That’s food! This is a snack! Woof woof!”
“No, since when did a dog distinguish between food and snacks? Just gobble down whatever you’re given.”
This was why you should never be too nice to animals in the first place. I should have established the hierarchy from the very beginning.
With a sigh, I slowly moved the can in my hand. Nabi’s face followed it as though attached to the can. When I set it down on the table, Nabi’s face ended up planted against the tabletop as well.
Then I took another can from inside my coat and held it out.
“…Fine. You eat too, you pig. But I’ll open it once you finish your food.”
“Okay! Woof!”
Perhaps it was too precious to waste time barking, because Azi immediately began chomping down on the food on his plate. He kept one forepaw protectively placed atop the can.
What was I supposed to do with these beasts? I was sighing when the Immortal and Kallis happened to enter the dining hall.
Kallis had recovered enough to move around, but walking on her own was still too difficult, so she was still supported by the Immortal….
‘Rash only looks like a barbarian. He has no aversion to physical contact, but he is excessively considerate. I’ve recovered enough to do military calisthenics, but I’ll keep pretending I haven’t healed until I’m completely recovered and stay by his side. Three months. That should be enough time….’
At any rate, that was how things stood.
Without noticing Kallis’s thoughts, the Immortal strode into the dining hall.
“What! You’re all eating! Is it already mealtime?”
“What mealtime is there for beasts? If there’s food in front of them, they eat.”
I said this while glaring at the two beasts sitting amicably at the table and stuffing themselves with snacks. The Immortal laughed heartily.
“Ha ha! They certainly eat well. Teacher, you will be blessed! They have said since ancient times that kindness shown to a beast maiden returns twofold!”
“I don’t even have enough kindness to spare for myself. Why would I show it to a beast? I just give them what’s left over.”
“You make a sharp distinction! No one sees the beast maidens as beasts as clearly as you do, Teacher!”
“They’re the kings of beasts, aren’t they? They’re beasts, I tell you.”
While conversing, Rash carefully seated Kallis in a chair before heading toward the pots. As he served food onto his plate, he said,
“Even so, they took human form to converse with humans! They can speak and understand our intentions, so how can you treat them exactly like beasts?”
“Mr. Rash, what would you do if a letter stood up and began speaking?”
“I don’t think I could treat it like a letter!”
“But you wouldn’t treat it like a human, either. It’s similar.”
The Immortal scratched his head.
“Ha ha! Put that way, I have nothing to say! But do all people from the Military State speak as well as you, Teacher?”
“Yes. I’m average for the Military State.”
‘Liar…!’
An impolite thought came from Kallis.
What’s wrong? At least my lie is better than yours. You’ve recovered enough to perform those Military State calisthenics, yet you’re pretending to be sick.
“Kallis! Can you eat anything solid today?”
At the Immortal’s question, Kallis deliberately delayed before answering as though it took great effort.
“Rash, I… ngh, soup, please.”
“You still haven’t fully recovered? Heh heh. This is why one must be careful with those who die so easily.”
Shaking his head, the Immortal ladled bean soup from the large pot into a bowl. He set it in front of Kallis together with a spoon and asked,
“How is it? Can you eat by yourself?”
Kallis raised a hand. Perhaps her body had not fully recovered yet, because her hand trembled weakly….
For all that, the trembling was subtly artificial. But the Immortal had never experienced trembling hands before, so he failed to notice.
Kallis reached for the spoon, then gave up. Seeing Azi and Nabi scraping their cans clean at the other side of the table, she murmured,
“…It’s all right. I can lower my back and eat like the beast kings…. Ngh.”
“Heh heh. How can someone with a stab wound to the abdomen bend over to eat?”
Clicking his tongue, the Immortal picked up the spoon. He filled it with soup and brought it to Kallis’s mouth with a delicacy at odds with his hulking physique. The sloshing soup stopped just before touching her lips, without spilling a single drop.
“Thank you….”
“Eat. Ah, it might be hot, so let it cool before you do. I don’t know how dangerous hot things are.”
“Your arm must get tired….”
The Immortal sharply shook his head. Despite the violent motion, the spoon remained perfectly still.
“I am the Immortal. I neither get injured nor grow tired. I have never experienced an aching or numb arm. Sometimes I don’t even know whether my right arm is attached or not.”
“…That’s…”
“So I’m saying I’ll be perfectly fine holding the spoon. Let it cool for as long as you like!”
Kallis’s expression momentarily clouded at the small consideration that radiated such warmth.
‘…He is too great for me. But I am accustomed to dreaming of things beyond my station. If only to achieve that….’
Having made up her mind, Kallis opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue, slowly licking from the underside of the spoon.
The Immortal did not show it, but he was slightly conscious of the motion.
‘…Do all Military State officers eat like this? The officers are even worse. Everyone else seemed to eat normally!’
‘Soup alone won’t be enough…. To recover quickly and establish a fait accompli, I should sneak back here tonight and eat some more.’
So it was you who had been stealing food at night.
Sigh. Still, that was food for someone who would actually eat it. The number of people to feed remained the same anyway, so as guardian of the dining hall, this was within the bounds of what I could tolerate.
I was just getting up to bring my empty plate to the sink when Tyr entered the dining hall, accompanied by a coffin painted pitch-black.