EP.113 Post-War Cleanup - 2
The first condition for Rock-Paper-Scissors to become a psychological warfare: When someone initiates a read first.
The regressor hesitated for a moment, gauging my intentions.
‘What is this? A psychological warfare? Hmph, how pathetic.’
"Then I'll just throw Paper."
"I knew it. See, it's ambiguous after all."
"What?"
Before the regressor could flare up, I quickly shouted.
"Alright, here we go! The match that decides Butterfly's life and death! What will the outcome be?!"
The second condition: When the stakes are incredibly high.
Psychological warfare and desperation intertwine, changing the genre of Rock-Paper-Scissors.
‘Beasts close to humans, and among them, dogs and cats who have the most beastmen. If the two are stabilized, the disaster that will come in the future will become much weaker.’
The regressor glared and focused on this match.
However, the moment you think, your defeat is decided. I smiled despicably inside and shouted.
"If you don't throw, you lose! Ready, Scissors!"
‘He said he'd throw Rock, so I should throw Paper... No, he might be using a tactic where he says that but throws Scissors. If so, I should... pretend to throw Scissors and throw Paper again!'
As expected, you fell for it. Even your choice was the ambiguous Paper. Tsk tsk. Even if I didn't have telepathy, you would have won.
Don't blame me too much, Regressor. The result was already decided the moment you accepted a Rock-Paper-Scissors match against a telepath like me.
"Rock!"
‘Huh? Wait a minute. There's no way this guy would fight fair and square. Why did I mistakenly think we'd have a fair fight?'
Kekeke. Of course it's not a fair fight. It's too late to realize it now. In Rock-Paper-Scissors, with the advantage of being a telepath, I am guaranteed to win...
"Paper!"
‘Almost fell for it again! Alright. Don't fight according to the opponent's intentions! Throw Paper, and then change it after seeing what he throws!'
Huh?
What?
Wait, you crazy regressor. Why are you changing the very premise of Rock-Paper-Scissors? This isn't changing the genre of the game; this is turning the game into a reflex battle!
‘Celestial Mirror, Response Pattern! Take the winning motion against whatever the opponent throws!'
She's even using Qi?
Furthermore, the Celestial Mirror reflexively reproduces pre-inputted motions. Because it captures the opponent's movements through Qi spread across the entire body, the gap between perception and reaction is extremely short.
At this rate, I'll lose. I have to stop. But the regressor and I had already thrown our hands.
Damn it. Since the regressor said she'd throw Paper, I'll slightly change it mid-throw and throw Scissors...
‘Fist.'
Fine. You win, just take it.
The result of the Rock-Paper-Scissors: I was Scissors. The regressor was Rock.
According to the great law of Rock-Paper-Scissors, I lost. It was an even more bitter defeat because I believed I would win.
Damn it. I can't believe I lost. Of all things, to lose at Rock-Paper-Scissors.
If the opponent had changed what they were going to throw out of caprice, I wouldn't even feel unfair about it; before that cowardly regressor flipped the game itself, I was winning!
The regressor confirmed the result and widened her eyes.
"...Huh? What? I won?"
"That's right. Wow. It's Shei's victory. Thanks to that, Butterfly gets to keep his life."
‘What? She didn't use any tricks? Was she really trying to play a normal game of Rock-Paper-Scissors?'
Rock-Paper-Scissors is Rock-Paper-Scissors; where in the world is there a "normal" Rock-Paper-Scissors? Why does such a simple game need the modifier "normal" attached to it?
I sent a gaze full of resentment at the regressor who had cowardly dragged it into a physical contest and snatched away my victory.
The ill-tempered regressor enjoyed my gaze and mocked me to the fullest.
"Hehe. I won? What's this? They say a real man uses his fists, but you actually threw Scissors?"
"I suppose so. As expected, I am far lacking compared to the true male, Shei. I admit defeat. Your manliness is greater than mine."
‘...Wait. I don't feel happy at all.'
While the regressor briefly tilted her head, Tyr, who had been watching the match from afar, quietly sent me a signal.
Tyr's blood-red eyes flashed with a warm color, only for me.
"Sigh... If, by any chance, you want."
If I wanted, it was an offer to handle Butterfly herself, even if it meant risking a conflict with the regressor.
But I immediately shook my head.
"No. Rock-Paper-Scissors is a sacred match. We must abide by this result."
This is the most peaceful pact created by humans to resolve trivial conflicts. Even though I lost, its sacredness does not disappear.
A winning gambler must know how to accept an occasional defeat. That is what makes victory more valuable.
If so, there is only one thing left for me to do. I must ensure that the drug-addled Butterfly can be safe even while roaming outside.
Sigh, such is my fate.
"Azi. Lick that guy for a bit."
"Woof? That guy?"
Azi tilted her head, looked at me, and then growled softly at Butterfly. I let out a deep sigh and stroked Azi's head.
"What can we do. Since we're saving him anyway, we have to treat him from now on."
"Woof... No. He's annoying."
"It's okay. I'll make it so he doesn't attack people. If he doesn't attack, he'll be a good friend to you."
"Woof."
Azi, who had been barking as if displeased, reluctantly accepted my successive persuasion. When Azi stood beside Butterfly, the terrified Butterfly cried out pitifully, "Meow-."
Azi looked at the wounds of the abjectly pleading Butterfly, barked softly, and immediately lowered her head to start licking Butterfly's wounds.
Butterfly curled up, thinking he was going to be bitten. However, realizing that it wasn't an attack, he accepted the grooming without resistance.
"Woof woof."
Like that, Azi's small tongue gradually worked her way up from Butterfly's ankle. The bite marks left by Azi's teeth began to heal slowly, at a visibly noticeable pace.
"I guess he didn't get rabies. Well, since Azi licked him, he must be cured."
The curse inflicted by one's own fangs is naturally neutralized by one's own saliva.
It won't be a complete cure, but it will prevent it from getting any worse. After cleaning all the wounds on the calf, Azi gradually moved up toward the thigh. Perhaps because her tongue was small, it took quite a lot of effort to lick just one of Butterfly's calves.
Smelling too much blood can't be good. Should I ask Tyr to just wipe the blood with Blood Control... The King of Beasts is a divine existence, I wonder if her blood would work too. While I was pondering this,
"Sigh."
"Yes?"
Tyr called me then.
When I looked back, Tyr, seeming somewhat anxious, tightly grabbed my sleeve and began leading me out of the training room.
"Leave."
"Pardon?"
Tug tug. The force pulling my sleeve was unusual. I was dragged helplessly.
"It is an indecent sight. You must not look. Hurry up."
"No, that's just grooming."
"...Must I really use force?"
"But the air in this room is somehow incredibly heavy. I think I should go out for a walk."
Coincidentally, in the instructor's office at the end of the hallway, Callis was continuing her lightning operation. There was nothing good in staying here where the Immortal's agony could be heard, so I decided to withdraw.
The regressor looked at me and sneered.
"Hmph. You realize it now too, right? It's not that I'm weird, but you're the weird one for accepting this scene so casually..."
"Shut up and come out too, Shei of the Firm Fist."
"Wh-what? Why... Ah!"
‘Right! I was cross-dressing as a man!'
I wish she'd get a grip. What is she going to do with that kind of absent-mindedness?
Tsk. No, it's a good thing she can't act. If her ego was weak, would she have kept her sanity through regression? Yes, it's rather a relief that it's you.
"We have things to do together. Come out quickly. I'll teach you how to roll magic tobacco."
"I don't smoke magic tobacco."
The regressor firmly expressed her refusal. It was a reflexive response, making me suspect she had used the Celestial Mirror.
‘If I rely on such things, my will breaks with every regression.'
How diligent.
"I'm not telling you to smoke it, just follow me for now."
Glancing around, Tyr had summoned darkness all around and was looking at me warily. Even though the darkness was so thick that nothing could be seen, her red eyes kept following me.
No, why so defensive? It's really unfair. Even if she's in human form, a beast is a beast...
"...What are you looking at? Hurry up and go."
The blood-red eyes that were only warm to me now showed a strict light only to me.
Right, there's no reason to stubbornly watch a beast being groomed. I stepped out as if chased out of the training room.
Ugh. Since I feel bad, let's just beat the regressor.
Heading to my room with the regressor, I brought up the topic.
"You roughly heard the story, right? The King of Cats is currently steeped in drugs. Made with catnip and leaves of the World Tree, a special magic tobacco."
"Yeah. I never thought that would be the way to tame the King of Cats."
"You wouldn't be able to get magic tobacco in the Abyss, so why did you do that?"
"...Can't I just quit?"
"That means you had no idea. Understood."
‘Keuk...! I did think of a method...! But!'
The regressor made a shameless excuse.
"Anyway, you can't get drugs in the Abyss. Then you have no choice but to endure it, right?"
"Think with common sense. Would a junkie just sit still if they don't have drugs?"
"If it comes to it, I can just suppress them by force..."
"What's different about you from the Lords of All Creation? Enough, follow me."
The sullen regressor kept her mouth shut and followed behind me.
As I walked, I took out the magic tobacco I had saved. It was the catnip magic tobacco exclusively for Butterfly, scraped together by rummaging through the Lieutenant Colonel and Colonel's belongings.
"Six sticks of Butterfly's exclusive magic tobacco, obtained from the Colonel and the Lieutenant General. If you just give these to Butterfly, how many days will it take for them to disappear?"
"Since there are six, if you use one every three days while saving them... 18 days?"
"One day. No matter how many there are, it's a junkie's nature to blow through them all in a single day if they're in their hands."
How could a human who has never done drugs understand the mind of a junkie?
Sighing in lamentation, I entered my room and opened the drawer. There lay the eleven sticks of magic tobacco that Callis had supplied, untouched. I took them out, lined them up on the desk, and spoke seriously.
"No matter how frugally we ration them, it'll be difficult to keep it under one stick a day. What must we do here?"
The leaves wrapping the cigar were made from the leaves of an incense tree that absorbs fragrance.
I tore the outer wrapping of the magic tobacco cigar. As the leaf tore, a refreshing, sharp fragrance flowed out, awakening me. The faint magic power spread throughout my body reacted to the magic tobacco, flowing through my blood vessels across my entire body.
Enjoying the refreshing sensation as if a window had been opened in my head, I said.
"Exactly, we need to increase the amount of magic tobacco."
"Is that possible?"
"Nothing is impossible in this world. Especially with high-quality magic tobacco, it's easy to increase the volume. To be precise, you can make the fragrance linger faintly, inducing the illusion that it's a premium product. In particular, the catnip magic tobacco for Butterfly contains even a trace of World Tree leaves..."
The first saintess who showed the miracle of feeding a thousand people with a single sheep, always mentioned in the Scripture of the Seonghwang Church.
I am just like her right now.
I spread out paper and crumbled the completely dry magic tobacco leaves. Using the standard-issued magic tobacco as a base, I coated it with the catnip magic tobacco that used World Tree leaves. Then, I rolled it round and round, folding the end slightly to seal it.
When I finished distributing it like that.
"Tada. By mixing two sticks of standard magic tobacco and one stick of Butterfly's exclusive catnip magic tobacco and distributing it appropriately, oh my! Five sticks of Butterfly's exclusive catnip magic tobacco were created! How about that!"
This is magic, and this is a miracle.
The cigars multiplied as if breeding. Feeling a sense of pride, I brought one stick to my mouth.
"Hey. What are you going to do if you smoke it?"
"Oops. My body moved on its own."
Damn it. If I sold this outside, I'd make at least 100 Arke each. And I have to give this to a cat?
My hands are trembling. I barely peeled off my fingers that kept trying to cling to the cigar.
While I continued working and unraveled another magic tobacco stick, the regressor stared at the increased amount of magic tobacco and proposed.
"If I give you World Tree leaves, can you make more?"
"Do you have more World Tree leaves?"
"Yeah."
"One or two won't be enough, how many do you have?"
The regressor immediately created a rift in the air and plunged her right arm into the pocket. After frowning and swishing her arm around a few times, she pulled it back out; in her hand was a small ginkgo branch lush with leaves.
It was a branch of the World Tree. Covered in leaves.
"About this much?"
No, I'm dumbfounded. The guardians of the World Tree are the kind of bastards who will sell the leaves but absolutely never sell the branches. How on earth did she do that?
"What exactly do you keep inside there?"
"If it's something I need, roughly everything."
"No, not just leaves, but a whole branch..."
"Here, take it."
The regressor handed it over without hesitation. Should I say her sense of money is weird, or is it that she just doesn't care because she'll regress anyway?
World Tree leaves are leaves fully imbued with essence itself, and if mixed well, they have the ability to double the efficacy of any herb. Without any side effects.
In other words, if dried together with magic tobacco, a magic tobacco cigar with several times the superior effect would be born.
Since World Tree leaves don't dry through conventional methods, I had to place my fingers on them and use Aqua magic to draw out the moisture one by one. As I roughly tore the dried leaves lengthwise, I tilted my head.
"This makes it not a cheap product...?"
For me, who fills the inside with cheap ingredients to seek profit margins, filling the inside with even more expensive ingredients was highly unfamiliar.
Is this the mindset of a billionaire? Have I lived too much as a petty bourgeois?
Eventually, a total of sixty sticks of magic tobacco were created. Let alone addiction, it seemed like the more you smoked, the healthier you'd get.
"Magic tobacco made with World Tree leaves... C-can I try smoking just one?"
One stick is a precious item that prevents Butterfly's rampage, but from the standpoint of a smoker, it's an irresistible temptation. If I endure this, I won't even be able to boast about smoking magic tobacco anywhere.
The problem is the regressor.
"Go ahead."
Surprisingly, she permitted it readily.
What's gotten into her. I quickly picked up a magic tobacco stick and said.
"I'm going to smoke magic tobacco, so get out."
"Huh? Why? I said you can smoke."
"I don't want to blow smoke in front of a kid. Hurry up."
"What? Kid?"
The brat with nothing but strength flared up at my words, snatched the magic tobacco on the desk, and shouted.
"I can smoke stuff like magic tobacco too, you know! How about it, want me to show you?"
Sigh. That's what I thought. I put the magic tobacco I had picked up back down. Why would I smoke magic tobacco in such an isolated place?
It's expensive, and one stick of this is equivalent to the King of Cats' life. Even if I hoard it, I'll have to give it up when Butterfly runs out of magic tobacco to smoke. Regrettably, I decided to set aside my identity as a smoker for a moment.
If there's any left when we escape later, I'll steal one and smoke it then.
"Never mind. An adult should set a good example."
"I said smoke it!"
Leaving the chattering regressor behind, I trudged out.
‘This cycle... I came intending to throw it away and putting off other things, but now I can't throw it away.'
‘I've secured the King of Cats, and the King of Dogs is fine. Tirkanjaka is also normal. I even foiled the attempt of those Lords of All Things. I still don't know exactly what's different from the last cycle, but... Now, I have to check.'
‘How far this cycle can go. How much further it can progress.'