Sitting in his home study before his laptop monitor, Seheon pressed the switch on his stand microphone. As he snapped his fingers with a sharp 'click,' the dozen or so senior lawyers bustling about on the screen immediately straightened up and focused their attention on him. They were the manager-level attorneys handling a corporate acquisition advisory project for Doguk.
Gazing quietly at the screens visible behind the employees' heads through the monitor, Seheon opened his mouth.
"If you made your partners sit in front of their study desks on a Sunday, you should at least give me a sense of fulfillment for my service. I hope this is something that will add to everyone's annual salary there."
At his words, the most senior lawyer raised his hand. A resolute look that said they must not ruin Seheon's weekend was evident on his face. After taking a deep breath, the man pointed to the lawyers lined up next to him one by one.
"Starting from me, clockwise: I have grasped the key conditions of the target company's contracts, the articles of incorporation and board regulations, labor regulations including collective agreements and insurance, the status of assets such as movable and real estate, and the organizational personnel status. As instructed, I have organized the legal aspects of each field and am currently drafting the due diligence report. I contacted you because I thought it would be best to report a few things starting today as a mid-term check."
Looking through the printed documents, Seheon replied flatly.
"This list that Secretary Tak quickly sent me is missing permits and licenses, intellectual property rights, and taxes. Is that Team B?"
"Ah, yes. Team B is handling the various permit regulations and intellectual property rights. Since the accounting firm is in charge of the tax due diligence, I will report that separately around tomorrow. All team members are doing their best to prepare so that the acquiring company can operate the business without disruption after the deal closes. However, we still need to finish organizing things internally. If you don't mind, how about resuming the meeting in an hour?"
Closing the documents and slapping his palm on them with a 'smack,' Seheon answered immediately.
"I also need to review the additional data I received today, so I will give you some leeway."
"Thank..."
"I'll give you 25 minutes."
*Beep.* Unilaterally ending the conversation, he pressed the microphone switch again to mute himself and stood up, watching the lawyers running around frantically on the screen. He then picked up the documents and a fountain pen and moved to sit on a sofa out of their line of sight.
Leaning back comfortably, his eyes, speed-reading the materials, gradually filled with an extremely cautious look.
"Probability of winning/losing pending disputes... Why do you all write these legal opinions so messily. Haven't you read the 4th-year papers?"
Muttering to himself, he checked the relevant section with his pen and flipped the thick stack of papers over.
It was then.
*Swish*, a batch of papers slipped and fell out from between them. One side of Seheon's striking face subtly crumpled as he picked it up. It was a document submitted by the senior lawyer who conducted the labor law due diligence. Charts summarizing the status of unpaid wages and severance pay, as well as non-regular workers, were appended. That much was nothing special. However, the name written in the upper right corner made his brows furrow.
He stared intently at the corner where Yoonsin's name and extension number were written, along with a message asking for feedback if there were any errors.
'The deputy team leader gave Do Yoonsin work without my permission.'
Even though he was only looking at a name, not the actual person, he felt a thirst that made his throat burn. It was because this itself was a trace of Yoonsin. Throwing down the paper and penholder nervously, he roughly wiped his face with his dry hands.
Actually, from yesterday to today, Seheon's time had flowed a little differently than usual. It slowed down as if running on a bumpy unpaved road, then rattled, acting completely erratically. That was solely because of the incident with Yoonsin at the bar a few days ago.
The cool wind blowing on the dark terrace, their bodies pressed tightly together as if melting that cold air, the neat eyelids that gently lowered when he tilted his head, the long eyelashes densely filling the area above his eye sockets, the red, moist lips that trembled slightly as if tense in the mood right before a kiss.
And the touch of Yoonsin's soft skin....
As he traced his memories, his lower abdomen gradually grew stifling. Recognizing the thrilling sensory stimulation spreading from below his waist, Seheon parted his lips. Lowering his gaze, the textured outline of a slight erection was visible even through his pants.
Reaching out his straight hand absentmindedly, he pulled down the zipper.
*Zzzt.* A strange sound followed.
Sure enough, his slightly erect penis caught his eye, puffing up the front of his pants.
Momentarily dumbfounded, a rough curse burst from his lips.
"Damn it, what the hell am I doing right now."
Biting his lower lip hard, he removed his hand from his lower body and deliberately grabbed the stack of papers with Yoonsin's name on them again, throwing them behind the sofa.
*Thwack!* Listening to the sharp sound of the object hitting the floor, he let his firm body slump like slime. Then, leaning his head back against the sofa backrest as if hanging his body on it, he took deep breaths to calm down.
While he had occasionally felt some secret desire while looking at Yoonsin during that time, it was the first time sexual greed had surged up so clearly from his lower belly like that day. It wasn't something that happened suddenly one day, nor was it just the alcohol. It was closer to the emotions he had harbored inside like water in a glass bottle coming to a boil, making it increasingly difficult to suppress. Even if Seheon was clumsy with things like this, he was someone who could discern that.
He answered no to that question, but both of them knew that the tip of his tongue had touched Yoonsin's lips. If Mihee hadn't appeared at that timely moment, Seheon might have committed an even more severe act. He had no intention of denying it even to himself. At that time, he wanted to have sex with Yoonsin, not just kiss him. Perhaps even now, two days later.
At first, he thought this blind interest and discomfort was trauma over his younger brother who died when he was young. He guessed that a very small wound left because he couldn't properly take care of the people around him might be manifesting in a direction that made Yoonsin—who had similarly lost someone and cried secretly—irritating. That was why Yoonsin's presence was even more unwelcome. It felt like he was forced to face his own hidden weakness through him.
But that wasn't it. Seheon simply cared about Do Yoonsin himself.
As the scope of his thoughts expanded from past events to his current feelings, he suddenly had a thought that made him quite unpleasant.
'Could it be that I'm... that bastard...'
As if cutting off a delusion, he hurriedly severed the thought before the sentence in his head could be completed and jumped up.
'Probably not.' wasn't enough. It had to be a 'no.' Yet, a premonition that it might indeed be a 'yes' kept welling up in his throat like a surging wave.
He felt he shouldn't interrogate his own heart any further. He would learn things he didn't need to know, and things that shouldn't be caught would be caught.
In the end, he fled the study without looking back even once.
* * *
Checking his wristwatch as he hurried out of his office, Seheon bumped right into the associate lawyer waiting in front of him. Because it was the last face he wanted to see right now, his brow furrowed.
"What?"
"Chief, I heard you're going to a client meeting."
Yoonsin locked eyes with Seheon, who clearly found this situation unwelcome. It was a request for a moment of his time. However, Seheon just glanced at him with one eyebrow raised before brushing past him coldly, as if looking right through an invisible man.
Seeing Seheon head toward the secretary's office and gesture to Secretary Tak, Yoonsin blocked his path directly this time. Shaking the document envelope he was quietly holding was a bonus.
"I prepared this because you said you needed these documents."
"Did my legal secretary change without reporting to me? The system is a mess."
"Excuse me, but I am still a lawyer. I have something to say to you."
"I'm not free enough to give a private audience to an associate whenever they need one. Take a number and wait."
"It will only take a moment. I will assist you instead of Secretary Tak to the parking lot. The driver is waiting downstairs. Let's go."
Glaring at Secretary Tak as if scolding him, he handed his briefcase to Yoonsin with a look of annoyance.
Barely catching the thing that had been shoved against his flat chest, Yoonsin trotted after Seheon, who walked ahead. Walking about a pace behind, he moved quickly once the elevator came into view. Running ahead to hold the doors, he gestured for Seheon to enter first, but Seheon stepped into the elevator without even glancing his way.
The two stood side by side, and the doors closed firmly.
While walking down the hallway, busy employees were visible everywhere, making it fine without any awkwardness, but once they were alone, a strange air flowed between them. It was probably because this was the first time they were left alone in an enclosed space since the incident at the bar last week.
Whether Seheon wasn't conscious of this situation at all, he was busy adjusting the position of his tie. Yoonsin, who parted his lips while observing Seheon's mood, opened his mouth first.
"Chief, did you scold the senior who assigned me the due diligence today? Secretary Tak seemed worried earlier."
"Whether he got scolded or died is none of your business. I told you. Just do as you're told."
"Was the legal opinion I organized not good enough? Is that why you got reprimanded... I was a bit worried."
*Haa.* Letting out a low sigh, Seheon finally turned his attention to Yoonsin. Meanwhile, the numbers on the panel were steadily descending toward the basement.
"Whether you did a good job or not isn't the issue here. The core of the matter is whether I instructed it or not. Don't arbitrarily do things you weren't told to do again."
"You said last time that I could attend the meetings for the cases you designated, so I thought it would be helpful."
"I'm looking for a suitable case. That case right now is not it."
"I'm sorry. I'll be careful."
Perhaps because Yoonsin's deflated voice grated on him, Seheon asked in a sharp tone.
"4th-year. Why do you think I give such orders? Because I hate you like crazy?"
"If you hated me, I think you would have killed me already."
"You know well. The moment you crawled into my team, you became mine. I decide when you do what work. Everyone saw the deputy team leader get chewed out like a dog during today's meeting, so no one will probably do it again, but if someone inexplicably assigns you work in the future, reject it by saying I said no."
His explanation wasn't detailed enough to satisfy all curiosity, but it at least contained the core. Knowing that he wasn't doing this to deliberately disadvantage him, Yoonsin understood. He must have judged that it wasn't a case suited for him. However, he felt a bit sorry for the senior lawyer who was severely cursed out in front of the team members because he had assigned him some minor tasks.
Feeling awkward, Yoonsin hugged the document envelope he was holding like a sacred relic and Seheon's briefcase tightly. Then, as if this was his real business, he opened his mouth again.
"Um... I'm not trying to rush you."
"I'll have you do the solicitation department work when the time is right. If you pester me, it'll be delayed even more. Learn to wait."
"It's not that. Am I really going on a blind date? It's this Sunday."
The man, who had been meticulously fastening his cufflinks, suddenly looked up. His eyes were much sharper than usual. Not only that, but his prominent Adam's apple on his long neck bobbed roughly like a wave. By coincidence, Yoonsin looked up at the panel at that exact timing and missed the sight, and with a 'ding,' the elevator doors opened.
Seheon walked forward without answering in the end. As the driver, who had been waiting in advance as Yoonsin said, opened the back door of the car, he quickly approached and got in.
Yoonsin, who had followed Seheon all the way there on impulse, gave the driver a glance asking him to wait a moment and plopped down in the opposite seat. As if he hadn't predicted this, Seheon let out a hollow laugh.
"Are you crazy? Every single second is precious to me right now. Get out."
"Just one thing. Actually, ever since the last company dinner..."
"I don't want to hear it. Are you getting out or not?"
His cold tone and chilly gaze poured down like ice picks that would pierce Yoonsin's thin body. Feeling as if they were stabbing into his entire body, Yoonsin became choked up and roughly dropped the briefcase and envelope he had been holding so preciously. *Thud. Thud.* Throwing the objects onto the luxurious car seat, he got right back out as if he had never been in the car. It was quite an audacious reaction, but Seheon ignored it all instead of reproaching him.
By now, Yoonsin had figured out his response patterns to some extent. He had a natural talent for making people's hearts waver. Kang Seheon was intentionally ignoring him even more right now.
At this point, Yoonsin felt he had to say this one thing. Biting his soft skin with his even teeth as if placing Kang Seheon on his lips, Yoonsin suddenly bent his waist and shoved his head back into the car.
"I gave you two chances. Don't regret it later."
Spitting out only what he wanted to say like tossing a ball, he slammed the door shut. Then, after politely bowing to the driver, he turned away without any lingering regrets. Honestly, he was a bit disappointed in Seheon, who was acting like it wasn't his business. Since the day his skin touched his lips, he hadn't been able to sleep properly, so he wondered how the obvious instigator could act like that.
Furious, Yoonsin walked as fast as possible. However, when he arrived near the elevator, he paused as he heard the low and careful sound of dress shoe heels from behind. While he was wondering, his shoulder was grabbed firmly. Turning around, surprisingly, Seheon was standing in front of him.
"Chief?"
"4th-year. It seems you want an explanation for what happened that day, so I'll give you one. That incident was my mistake. And I don't want a flaw in my life."
Quite flustered by this answer, Yoonsin let out a hollow laugh.
"When did I ask for an explanation? I don't need anything like that. I just...!"
"Whether you want an explanation or a confession, it has nothing to do with me. Apart from that, don't shake me up so much. It's getting harder and harder to endure."
Although he was explaining it complicatedly, the point was simple. At the very least, it meant Kang Seheon was indeed shaken by him right now. Also, although it was hard to believe, he was enduring something because of him, and it seemed it was hard for him. His maze-like heart was vaguely visible. And, whether he was crazy or not, hearing those words made him want to know his deeper psychology in great detail.
While Yoonsin was stunned, trying to grasp his turbulent state of mind, he missed the chance to reply, and Seheon calmly added.
"Don't forget that I'm someone who can fire you at any time."
Did he mean not to bring this up publicly again?
"Are you threatening me right now?"
"Yeah. If you understood, go back up."
He thought he might be able to close the distance with him a little, but it was immediately another threatening warning. Having not been blatantly rejected much, being coldly shot down twice by the same person left him unable to find a way to react. Swallowing his shame down his throat, Yoonsin clenched his teeth and tried hard to smile nonchalantly.
"Yes. I understand. Have a safe trip."
Bowing, he stood there for a moment and waited. Seheon quietly stared at him before turning away. His resilient back grew smaller and smaller until he got into the sedan, disappearing from Yoonsin's sight. Only after the car left the parking lot with a heavy exhaust sound could he pull down the corners of his mouth, which had been trembling like a spasm.
Ruminating on the words Seheon left behind, heat boiled up in him belatedly.
"A flaw right in front of my face? Am I paying for some error in his life?"
Who was the one who shook the person who was staying still by doing things like kissing his tie? Doing whatever he pleased, and then calling it a mistake? His judgment of him, which he had been making internally for a while, was not wrong.
He is a sadist.
"Son of a bitch. Fuck off."
Yoonsin indignantly stepped into the kindly waiting elevator.
* * *
Yoonsin's complexion darkened as he looked at the desk calendar. Tomorrow was already the day of his blind date.
He wondered what it would have been like if he knew nothing. If he believed his sister was still leading a peaceful family life, he would have accepted this meeting much more comfortably. He could just meet her, marry if they felt a connection, or politely apologize and part ways if not.
But not anymore. Seeing that she had even asked him for this kind of help, his sister was coping calmly, but she was probably in quite a predicament. If this marriage arrangement fell through, he had no idea what kind of disadvantage would return to his sister. An urgency arose, feeling like he had to quickly go somewhere and finish off a passionate first love to have no regrets. That was why he had tried to grasp at straws.
"The more I think about it, the more pissed off I get."
He was an accomplice for closing his eyes right before the kiss, but the start was definitely Seheon's doing. Remembering that, yet recalling his dry voice and nonchalant expression as he shifted all the responsibility onto him, made him choke up involuntarily.
Of course, whether he reached out to him or not, everything was his own will. Yoonsin truly respected that. But one thing was clear: if he was going to feign ignorance at crucial moments, constantly confusing the other person was definitely a fault. Seheon, who didn't have a sliver of a gap for others, kept opening up invisible leeway for him, which made him want to rely on his heart when he felt anxious.
*Huu.* Exhaling to empty his head, Yoonsin fixed his gaze on the laptop screen. He accessed the firm's internal network to download necessary materials, then turned his attention to the employee directory. Searching Seheon's name, a list of his academic background, various law societies, committee records, and areas of expertise popped up at the top.
'Mergers and acquisitions, corporate governance, private equity, securities regulation.'
The top section, which contained recent records, was densely packed with legal advisory experience in the solicitation department. But as he scrolled down, surprisingly, there were family law cases as well. It seemed these were the pro bono cases he had mentioned once.
"There are guardianship cases too. Wills, legal reserves, division of inherited property..."
Not only that, but surprisingly, he seemed to have handled property division lawsuits due to divorce and lawsuits to confirm parental rights. But all of them were from a long time ago. Even if he offered to take on his sister's divorce lawsuit, it would almost certainly represent his brother-in-law's side.
If he were to meet Seheon in court, honestly, Yoonsin had no confidence that he could beat him. Hitting a rock with an egg might be better.
Even though his sister told him to stay still, he couldn't really just sit idle. He had to do something within his power. However, not knowing the exact circumstances of the situation, it was unclear where to start. He hit a wall right from the first knot.
'Kang Seheon obviously won't share his informants. Because that's an asset.'
Maintaining strict security meant protecting it. Since he would willingly use illegal routes that violated lawyer ethics, it was obvious he wouldn't even show his investigators to Mihee. Still, he couldn't just blindly ask him to investigate his sister's marital affairs. He had to at least show a corresponding price or his own cards.
Should he just beg honestly? Please, help me. Thinking that, the moment he recalled his arrogant and dogmatic gaze, he immediately dismissed it.
"Like hell he'd help."
No matter how capable a lawyer he was, taking down a conglomerate like SooHan alone was a gamble. It would also have a very negative impact on the firm, which already had a lot of exchanges with SooHan. Moreover, even if he won this lawsuit, what Seheon could gain would be a slight financial benefit and the name recognition that comes from having his name in the media, but he already had an overflow of that. He had to persuade him by offering something else he didn't have, but he had no idea what he wanted.
He harbored a very faint guess that it might be himself, but even after obscenely giving an indirect kiss through a tie right to someone's face, Seheon's reaction was cold.
When his sister's warning to him came to mind as well, pouring out his concerns to Seheon without any collateral felt even more dangerous. He could side with SooHan at any time.
Vainly closing the screen, Yoonsin cast a glance at a book tucked in his bookshelf. It was *Great Expectations*. After watching his trial, what did Kang Seheon find while reading this book he had cited? Pip, the protagonist of the book, was of the working class, but received a massive inheritance, joined the upper class, and turned his life around. And in that process, he realizes what is truly important. That life is not gold, but is illuminated by other values.
*Swish*, flipping to a page where he had stuck an index sticker a while ago, Yoonsin took in Dickens's beautiful sentences.
This felt exactly like his heart, which constantly thought of Seheon time and time again. Flipping the paper eagerly, the part he had folded because it felt like it resembled him came into view.
What did he want to say that time he called his name with that magnificent voice?
Closing the book and putting it back in its place, Yoonsin flopped forward. Leaning one cheek against the hard desk mat, he cooled the heat on his cheek that had been warming up from thinking of him. He glanced at his phone, but the palm-sized device still didn't ring.
* * *
Parking the car in front of the massive wall, Yoonsin opened the passenger door. The woman, who stepped on the ground carefully, pressed the doorbell and politely bowed to him.
"Thank you for bringing me. Drive back safely."
Yoonsin responded with a polite silent bow to his blind date, who smiled shyly. Then, after the gate opened and he confirmed she had gone inside, he turned his body toward the driver's seat. But the woman suddenly came back and grabbed his sleeve.
"Lawyer Do, you don't do afters? Are you going to talk on the phone?"
Flustered, Yoonsin parted his lips.
"Ah, right. This is my first blind date."
"This is my several times, so I'll do it. Can we meet soon? I'd like to see you again before the year changes."
"Actually, I haven't been at Doguk for long. I'm a bit busy learning the work these days. Can I contact you again depending on the situation? I can't give you a definite answer on which days will be good right away."
"Are you rejecting me?"
"It's better to approach carefully from the start than to break a promise. I'll definitely contact you."
Perhaps because it didn't seem like he was lying, she showed signs of understanding. She went in through the gap in the open gate and bowed again as if telling him to drive safely. Only when the woman completely disappeared from sight did Yoonsin properly get into the car. As he started driving home, the tension in Yoonsin's complexion clearly faded.
There were many things he finally learned today after meeting the person directly. The woman said she had read an article a few months ago about him defending the common-law wife of a famous athlete accused of murder. He was a bit surprised to hear that she had sought him out directly and asked for a marriage arrangement. It seemed her father's media company had a friendly relationship with the SooHan Group. Also, it seemed the fact that Yoonsin's father was a highly respected figure in the legal world during his lifetime left a good impression on her family.
He knew well that it was too early to judge what kind of person she was from just one meeting. But the vibe wasn't bad, and they communicated well. Also, it was fully conveyed that she had a great fondness for him. That much was all good. The problem was that everything was flowing too smoothly and favorably. From their first meeting, she openly said she wanted them to slowly get to know each other and hold the wedding when the right time came. However, for Yoonsin, who couldn't help but tie his sister to this situation, the burden was heavy. His brother-in-law was no longer his ally.
He thought meeting her would at least put out the immediate fire, but it was one mountain after another.
'What do I do now.'
His throat felt scratchy, as if he had caught a cold. Loosening his innocent tie a bit, Yoonsin flinched as a soft texture brushed against his palm. Unconsciously fingering it, he pressed his lips against the wide part while stopped at a traffic light. Naturally, he felt nothing.
Crumpling it like paper, he was needlessly squeezing and pulling it when his phone vibrated. Leaving the tie as it was, he connected the hands-free and answered the call. It was his sister, so his heart grew anxious.
"Sister?"
This was the first time he had spoken to her directly since she visited his house.
-Yoonsin, is it okay to talk right now?
Her voice had improved a lot, which somewhat relieved him.
"I'm driving, but I'm in a slow-moving section, so it's fine. How did you contact me? Did they call because I met her?"
-Yeah. She said it was a huge fuss as soon as she got home. You charm women so well, so why didn't you date? Still, you consistently had a girlfriend in college, but after becoming a lawyer, there was no word of you seeing anyone.
"That's because I'm so busy. I was young then, but if I meet someone at this point, I have to think about marriage. It's a burden."
-Still, you should slowly start considering it. You communicate well, you're kind, and yet manly. She said she really liked you. That's great.
"Because I met a good person, my reaction must have been good too."
Perhaps feeling his reaction was positive, a cheerful tone colored her voice.
-Do you like her? Then that's the icing on the cake.
"She's not bad. I could get married. But I don't think I'll fall in love."
She, who was joyful, responded with a slightly higher pitch, as if surprised.
-How can you tell after meeting just once.
You can tell roughly. And this is not the other person's fault. It was solely his own problem.
Throughout the time he met and talked with the woman, Yoonsin thought of someone else. It wasn't accompanied by emotions like like or dislike, but simply, he kept thinking of him. Even though he desperately tried to push it away because he didn't want to, someone's presence filled his mind as if occupying his brain. He couldn't express in words how guilty he felt for sitting his blind date in front of him while thinking of someone else.
He felt he would never forget this strange feeling today. As long as he remembered this unsettled feeling, he didn't think he could view the person who sat in that seat with romantic feelings. Because Yoonsin was a person with an above-average conscience.
"Just. I feel it. It's like a kind of intuition."
That was partly because of his sister's situation, and partly because of Seheon's presence disrupting his mind. It was complicated to explain everything in detail, so Yoonsin didn't mention it that far.
-It could change if you meet two or three times. Love isn't just about falling in love at first sight.
"I know. But I just kept thinking this isn't it. We're not meant to be. I didn't feel like asking for an after. I'm not curious about her at all."
-Yoonsin.
"Don't think I'm mistaken because I didn't feel a spark. I know very well what it feels like to be curious about someone, and what it feels like to want them to be with me."
She, who had been silent for a moment, asked softly. He could feel her approaching very carefully.
-Are you seeing someone else? I didn't ask because I assumed you weren't.
When he heard this question, a specific someone's face shouldn't have come to mind. Because he didn't have a lover, nor anyone close to that, yet.
But suddenly, Seheon came to mind. His smooth lips that only said wicked things, his cold eyes that stared at him as if trying to pierce through him, his hard fingers that occasionally touched him without warning—these swirled like a tornado and turned his mind upside down. After a brief hesitation, Yoonsin answered truthfully.
"No."
-I'm sorry. I didn't want to burden you with this. But because I want to protect you... You don't even date anyway. I thought it was a good opportunity. If you really don't like her, I'll break it off at an appropriate time. Still, meet her a few more times. Okay?
He neither affirmed nor denied. Since immediately putting up a barrier didn't seem like a good move, he simply changed the subject out of consideration for his sister's complicated feelings.
"Are you holding up well? If you show up looking like that again, I don't think I can bear it."
Bringing up the worry he had kept suppressed in his heart, she let out a sigh.
-Worry about yourself. I don't know Lawyer Kang Seheon well since I've only seen him in passing a few times, but he's not usually cold and prickly for no reason. Still, you said you're enduring it well. Lawyer Song kept praising you until his mouth went dry. Well, maybe he was just saying that to make me feel better.
The incident at the company dinner where he showed Mihee how he was with Seheon came to mind involuntarily. With a serious expression, Yoonsin tilted his head slightly. He imagined what kind of face his sister would make if he said that right now, his body and mind were a bit complicated because of none other than Kang Seheon. It seemed she wouldn't exactly welcome it, so he kept his mouth shut too.
"There's a lot to learn."
-Then that's a relief.
"Hey, sister. I told you last time too, but I'm a lawyer too. I know you can't trust me completely, but still, if you ever need my help, tell me."
Hearing a soft chuckle as if finding him cute, Yoonsin's heart melted with affection.
-How reliable. Thanks. Then let's hang up now. You seem to be driving, so you need to focus.
He felt his sister's desire not to continue this topic. Although he rebelled slightly inside, Yoonsin kindly agreed as always and said goodbye as if telling her to hang up first.
"Okay. It's late. Good night."
-Yeah. Get home safe.
After the call, he gripped the steering wheel tightly. It felt like his hands were sweating. It felt as if a dense fog, where he couldn't see an inch ahead, was spread all around. He was scared, but had nothing proper to hold onto. If he was like this, his sister would be even worse. That was why he couldn't bring himself to say he didn't want to do it, that he didn't want to meet her anymore.
It was just a drive back from a blind date, but he didn't know why such a guilty feeling was rushing over him. To the other person, to Seheon, and to himself.
*Haa*, Yoonsin's expression grew darker as he let out a heavy breath. Even trying to focus on driving, his eyes were soaked with distress.
Is there no way. There is one brilliant move that could solve all these difficulties, but the only being who could do it was so defensive that he didn't dare to test his luck anymore.
"Whether it's an explanation or a confession, it has nothing to do with me..."
Ruminating on the words Seheon had said while grabbing him, his thought process became even more complicated like the rush hour with cars honking all around. It was only natural for him to be confused. Because the man, who always had a clear boundary between right and wrong answers, had committed one fatal error. While saying that precarious situation was a mistake, he implicitly expressed that he was currently shaken by him.
Which side was his true feeling? It was probably both.
That incident was a quite terrible mistake Kang Seheon made, but at the same time, he was finding it increasingly overwhelming to handle himself. The words he meaningfully added to him while he was silent proved this fact.
'What exactly is so hard to endure about me? He definitely wanted to kiss...'
Could he want to sleep with me? Yoonsin's cheeks flushed red as he freely let his imagination run wild. Thinking he had gone too far alone, he felt embarrassed even though no one was watching. To make matters worse, the company housing building came into view across the street at exactly that moment, and he changed lanes unconsciously. Flustered, he did it recklessly without any warning, and the drivers in the next lane honked like crazy.
*Honk! Honk!*
"Hah..."
Even in a slow-speed section, there was a risk of causing an accident. Turning on his blinkers several times as an apology, Yoonsin took a deep breath and moved his route toward the entrance of the building. Soon, sliding into the underground parking lot and parking his car, he moved toward the emergency stairs because he wanted to breathe in the cold air that would jolt him awake.
After coming completely outside, he looked up at the glamorous company housing building. He fixed his gaze clearly, aiming at the floor where Seheon's house was like a gun barrel, and stared at it intently. Then, thinking about what meaning it would have to shoot telepathy at a man who wasn't going to listen to him in the first place, he soon gave up. Heading to the right side of the road, Yoonsin entered a 24-hour cafe he often visited. He ordered a cup of coffee, placed it in front of him, and took a seat at the prime spot hidden from view behind the counter. Since it was mostly used by residents and it was quite late, there were hardly any people overall.
Listening to the classical music lingering in his ears, Yoonsin fiddled with his mug and took out his phone.
'So he didn't make a single call in the end.'
Yoonsin hated being in an ambiguous state, whatever it was. Eventually, after scrolling through and finding his name, he made up his mind and called him directly. Since Seheon strictly rested on weekends, he didn't have high expectations, but surprisingly, an answer came quickly.
-Yes.
"Oh, you picked up? It's the weekend and late, so I didn't expect it."
-Are you calling about work? Summarize the point of your business in under ten characters.
"It's not about work, I'm calling personally."
-Called personally. Also exceeded ten characters. I see.
"Yes. So, what I mean..."
At that moment. *Click*, the call was disconnected. It was before he could even put a period on his words. Dumbfounded, Yoonsin checked his phone, worried it was broken or the battery had died, but it was simply that Seheon had ended the call. Getting choked up, Yoonsin tried to contact him again right away. It rang a few times but he didn't pick up, so he sent a text message. He sent it disguised as urgent business, and when he called again, fortunately, he returned his voice this time as well.
-So speak. Under ten characters.
Yoonsin counted the syllables of what he had to say with his fingers and hurriedly replied.
"Let's meet right now!"
The other person didn't respond for a moment. Then, a beat late, he retorted.
-Why would I see you. It's Sunday today.
"Have you eaten? If not, let's eat together."
-I ate. Isn't it time you ate too?
"Then would you like a cup of coffee? I'll buy."
-I drank. My bloodstream is already full of caffeine.
"Then, aren't you going for a walk today? The snow on the trees in the park behind looked really pretty."
-I walk to think. Having someone next to me is distracting. Is that all you have to say? Then I'm hanging up.
Seeing the sign that he was going to unilaterally hang up again, Yoonsin also changed his attack method to be more direct.
"This is exactly what you call leeway. When I sent the message, you must have known I didn't have work to discuss. But you picked up the phone again. Either you're a loose person who leaves a trail everywhere you go, or you're interested in me. Isn't the latter better than the former?"
Seheon's appearance was quite excellent even when seen by a man like himself, but it was just attractive; since he wasn't essentially gay, it didn't elicit any emotions. He envied the career he had built up step by step, but since he roughly knew how he built it, he didn't respect him perfectly. Even with such a person, Yoonsin kept getting entangled with him. Perhaps his concerned heart had evolved, as he kept wanting to get entangled with him. Projecting that desire and asking without hesitation, Seheon let out a hollow laugh. That low voice lingered strangely softly and sweetly by his ear, making Yoonsin inwardly bewildered.
-Is narcissism your hobby? Don't you ever think that you're betting on the slight possibility that it could be the minimal conscience of an associate or real business?
"I don't. Because both I and you know clearly that my business isn't about work."
He was rejected after two run-ups. However, he felt he had to try at least three times so he wouldn't regret it.
"You're not the only one hurting. My head hurts because of you too."
It seemed to be a direct hit to him more than any other words, as a deep sigh followed instead of a retort. He didn't think he had ever heard such a heavy and deep sigh from him. Instinctively recognizing that this very topic was the clue that could keep the conversation going, Yoonsin chewed on his lower lip.
"Did you forget I'm going on a blind date today?"
-Who do you think I am, a goldfish? I remember.
"But you never called until the end."
-Was there a rule that I had to call? Speak up.
"Did you intentionally make me call, or are you really not interested?"
He didn't answer. So Yoonsin pressed harder.
"I'm on my way back from a blind date right now."
He had braced himself for a defensive answer like 'Am I your lover?' or 'Why are you being so annoying?', but surprisingly, Seheon said nothing. So he actually got the courage to say what he really wanted to say.
He didn't know exactly why it had to be Kang Seheon. Perhaps it was because he was someone who would accept his problems as they were without any prejudice, and forget them if necessary.
"Actually, I hate being pushed into marriage like this. There's too much at stake. But if I say I'm quitting here, it's obvious my sister will struggle since she arranged this. What do I do in this situation? You're someone who considers all possible scenarios and countermeasures together."
-4th-year. Do you know how much my consultation fee is per 10 minutes?
"Don't see everything as a case to take on. It's also in the Lawyer Ethics Code. Article 1, lawyers protect and promote human freedom and rights..."
Seheon, cutting off the end of his sentence mid-way, gave him an answer in a nonchalant tone.
-Alright, I'll give you an answer. It's simple. Go overseas for training. You usually go around your 5th year, so you can just go a few months early. Go get your lawyer's license there, and rough it out for a few years. Everything will be resolved.
"I can think of that much too. But I am absolutely not leaving Korea for the time being."
-Why. Are you becoming a patriotic martyr?
"Because of my sister."
-So why.
"I can't tell you the details. There's just something like that."
Torn between the impulse to violate his sister's warning, confide in him, and get counseling, and the rationality that he shouldn't just spill words without any countermeasure, Yoonsin placed his palm over the rim of the mug where warm air was still rising. While he was savoring the warmth, Seheon's husky voice continued.
-I can't consult on cases where you don't lay everything out. Think about it yourself.
"The weather is really cold today."
Looking out the window, Yoonsin stared blankly at the pitch-black sky. The stars were hard to see, but it definitely felt clear. Although it couldn't be seen from here, he guessed that the moment he brought this up, Seheon must have also glanced out the window.
"And I wish someone was next to me right now. I'm lonely."
-Call the woman you went on a blind date with again.
"No, that's too much since we live in the same housing. Do I really look that awful to you?"
-I hate it because everything about you is sincere. I'm temperamentally incompatible with clean humans.
"Aren't you raising me? Your lamb is dying little by little."
-I'll bury you. As part of employee welfare.
"Can't you save me instead? I'm at the cafe in front of my house right now. The one we bumped into last time."
*Damn*, the sound of him spitting out a low curse was heard distantly. However, it wasn't exact since it seemed he said it while he had briefly taken the phone away from his ear. Yoonsin fiddled with the mug handle with the phone pressed to his ear. The squeaky texture of wiping dry dishes clean felt pleasant.
Even while spending their own time, silence continued. It continued, and continued again. Wondering if the call had been disconnected, he looked at the screen, but that wasn't the case. Seheon seemed to be pondering right now.
"Lawyer, how long do I have to wait? 10 minutes? 15 minutes?"
-One hour.
"Aren't you at home right now?"
-Go home. Even so, one hour.
Having said only what he wanted to say, Seheon abruptly hung up the phone again just like before. Looking down at the darkened phone screen with a bewildered face, Yoonsin slightly furrowed his brows. He thought if he was going to come down anyway, couldn't he say it a bit nicer, but quickly realizing that he was already used to his prickly nature, he let out a chuckle.
"With such a filthy temper. He only considers whether to pick me up or not because it's me. He better know he's lucky."
*Tap*, touching the screen, Yoonsin carefully got up from his seat and headed to the counter. His steps were a bit light. A smile bloomed on his lips as he ordered a drink in advance that Seheon would enjoy.
* * *
Stepping out of the elevator in casual clothes, Seheon checked his wristwatch. He had told him to wait an hour with his mouth, but couldn't endure it on his end and slipped right out of the house. Walking a few minutes along the path he often strolled when he had many things to ponder, he saw Yoonsin sitting at the bar table by the window, just like that one time. The difference from the past was that instead of working like before, he was lost in thought with a serious expression.
As he trudged up to him, perhaps because their encounter was much earlier than expected, Yoonsin jumped up and welcomed Seheon. Seeing that innocently smiling face twisted his insides again. Barely swallowing the annoyance rising up his throat, Seheon walked around the building and entered the cafe. As if he had ordered a drink in advance, Yoonsin quickly picked up a mug from the pickup counter and waved.
"Here, drink this. I added an extra shot compared to mine. Because it seems you enjoy bitter things."
Staring blankly at Yoonsin placing the cup on the table, Seheon reluctantly took a seat next to him. The inviter, Yoonsin, was the first to speak.
"You came down faster than I expected."
"Then wait longer. Do you want that?"
Looking at Seheon as if dumbfounded, Yoonsin slightly turned his body that had been leaning toward him. Then he took a sip of his now completely cold coffee. The figures of the two reflected in the transparent glass window. The appearance of Yoonsin, neatly dressed in a suit, and Seheon, wearing a thick knit sweater, was quite contrasting. As silence flowed again, Yoonsin broke the crack this time too.
"What's that for coming out for a walk on a winter night. You should have put something on."
"Why wear more just coming out in the neighborhood."
"It would be nice if I took off my jacket and gave it to you coolly."
"That sounds good. Take it off."
"I also go back and forth by car so I don't have outerwear, so I'm cold."
"Right, your shallow respect."
"Is it obvious?"
When Seheon let out a hollow laugh, Yoonsin also chuckled. Then he asked casually.
"What were you doing?"
"Working."
"Even at home? You're off today."
"I work in the car too. I work in my dreams too. At home, naturally, I work."
"You're having coffee with me right now, so that means you made time for me."
Instead of denying it, he slightly twisted the facts.
"I'm in the middle of a kind of pro bono."
"Then can't you be a bit more sincere? Why don't you ask in detail. I told you I went on a blind date."
"I'm not curious about stories with a predetermined conclusion. You said it yourself. Unless there's a variable, you'll end up marrying as fate dictates anyway. I'm not interested in a board where I can't cause a tectonic shift."
"It's probably that you don't have the courage to cause a variable. Or you're not interested enough to risk the exhaustion."
At these words, Seheon turned his head. He stared intently at Yoonsin with an expression as sensitive as if all his nerves had been scraped. Feeling his gaze, Yoonsin had no reason not to meet it, so he locked eyes with him. His deep pupils, like the sea floor, were probably filled with only him.
"4th-year. What's wrong with you? You've been weird since some day. I'm not insensitive enough to not feel that difference. What's your ulterior motive in constantly poking my side."
He thought that quick-witted Seheon had no way of not knowing that he was implicitly probing him. Perhaps reading such a response from his wavering eyes, he added.
"I'm pretty good at reading people. You don't like me. At least, not in that sense."
His words are the correct answer from some angle. But there was one pitfall. His feelings for Kang Seheon were not a simplistic form that could be defined in a single word. It was true he didn't like him 'in that sense' yet, but it was also true that such a way of feeling was open only for him. Wondering how to express this jumbled thought, Yoonsin's lips slowly parted.
"I am interested. I'm also curious about what kind of person you are. Sometimes... I get a bit confused. Since you read people well, you know that too."
Not bothering to deny the logic was probably because his words were right.
He sensed that Seheon's gaze, staring at him intently, was slowly burning like kindling a fire. When his languid eyes met his own tense ones, he felt a strange pain as if his heart was being subtly squeezed. Parting his lips, Yoonsin continued softly.
"There's a possibility, but if I just get married before we even try anything, wouldn't we both lose out?"
"Why would that be my loss."
"If you feel really unfairly treated, just consider it my loss alone. I don't want to lose out."
"They're sending you to a good family, so why do you have so many things you dislike. Marriage is a business too. Utilize it to the maximum."
"But... I keep thinking this isn't it."
Unable to even bring himself to explain why he felt that way, Yoonsin dropped his head. Seheon seemed to take that sight entirely in his eyes, then reached out for his mug as if he didn't like it. After taking a sip of the coffee with warm steam rising, he spat out nonchalantly while keeping his gaze fixed on the cup in his hand.
"The moment your sister married into SooHan, she should have been prepared for that level of resolve. Direct your resentment at your father who allowed the marriage and your sister who said she would do it. I'm not a diary to listen to your grievances."
His long fingers wrapped tightly around the mug handle again. After spitting out all his calm voice to the outside, he brought the coffee to his lips for another sip. At that moment, Yoonsin refuted quietly, as if muttering to himself.
"If you're going to be like this, why did you kiss me? You must have been really desperate, starting with your tongue."
*Clatter.* Seheon was about to place the cup on the table but slipped and missed the end of the handle because of Yoonsin's words. As a result, the staggering cup fell onto the tray like a crash. *Thud!* The object hitting the hard surface helplessly wobbled like a top. Eventually, pitch-black liquid overflowed from the rim of the cup, and finally spilled over his innocent hand.
Feeling a burning sensation on his hand, Seheon's brows furrowed deeply.
"Ugh, it's hot. Damn it."
Surprised in turn, Yoonsin pulled a handkerchief from his chest. As he diligently began to wipe the moisture from his skin, Seheon snatched the cloth away like a thief and wiped his own hand. Nevertheless, Yoonsin firmly grabbed his large, hard hand and examined it this way and that, checking if there was a burn. Confirming that the valley between his long index and middle fingers was red, he rubbed over it with his own finger.
"What do we do. Are you okay?"
"Are you going to let go of this?"
"Does it hurt? Should I buy you some ointment. They'll have it at the convenience store. Or if you have a first-aid kit at home..."
"Let go of my hand because my patience has reached its limit. I told you, it's hard to endure!"
It took a little time for Yoonsin to interpret what that meant. He restructured his thinking as negatively as possible, thinking it might not be, but it seemed like it definitely aligned with the imagination he had in the car earlier. Becoming embarrassed in turn, Yoonsin spent a few seconds blankly holding Seheon's hand, and then he irritably shook his hand off.
"Get out of the way. I shouldn't have come out."
Throwing even the handkerchief away, Seheon stood up and went straight outside. Quickly clearing the cups onto the tray, Yoonsin followed him. It was because he finally understood exactly what the words he had said meant. He was definitely shaken. But he seemed unfamiliar with himself like that, and also dissatisfied. Because he had felt something similar, he could understand. Yoonsin finally felt like he was catching him, just a very little bit.
Quickening his pace, he soon saw Seheon's slim back going down to the basement and entering the apartment through the indoor arcade passage. As soon as he spotted him, he tilted his head, showed his face, and announced his location. It meant 'someone is following you, aren't you even going to look?', but it was immediately dismissed. As a poor substitute, Yoonsin straightened his back and stood next to him, starting to walk side by side.
"If there's a court receivership or something among the cases our firm is handling, could you put me on it? Something that requires a lot of effort in a short period of time. Then I'd be able to buy some time. I didn't ask for an after right away and delayed it. Because I felt it would be too rude to her to see her again with this kind of mindset." He had made a promise to see her again with the vague words of 'next time,' but he couldn't keep putting it off forever. He wondered if it would be good to have an official excuse to avoid it for a while.
"Not only do we not have any court receivership cases right now, but a junior who hasn't shown anything yet has no business aiming for one. No."
"Years of experience isn't everything. You're the very proof of that. There's no partner with your years of experience at a large firm like Doguk. If it's organizing labor relations logs or documents, I can do that well too. I'm confident I can write applications to submit to the court neatly. If not that, anything with the most work among our team's cases is fine."
"I work with kids who bring back ten answers when I give them one problem. Your genes are still closer to a rigid human rights lawyer. Social success, big fees, massive sense of achievement. When even one of these secular goals appears in your desire category, then I'll consider giving you something big. Start from the bottom and climb up step by step."
"I'm truly desperate. Because I don't want to lie. I need work that requires me to stay up all night every day."
Strolling down the quiet street, Seheon finally stopped and looked back at Yoonsin. His beautiful, expressionless face crumpled slightly. Casting his gaze in the direction of the chilly wind, Yoonsin stared straight at Seheon in front of him.
"You want work because you want to escape from the reality you're in. Do you not think that's deceiving the other party? How is that different from lying. You're already not being honest."
It's a fair point. Yoonsin nodded calmly as if his words were all correct. Watching him with a serious expression, Seheon added cautious advice.
"I'll give you one piece of advice. Such a stopgap method solves nothing. The core is the essence, and the essence is the core. You're not the type to hate blind dates. Because you think you can meet your destiny anywhere. So figure out why you hate doing that marriage first, start with that problem."
"How do I solve it?"
"I told you, you're weird lately. You've developed a sort of resentment I've never seen in the eyes of your kind. Moreover, your only advantage is being honest and straightforward, but that's fading too. You should start from there."
He probably wasn't saying this knowing everything, but Seheon's point dug into the most important part. One was Seheon right in front of him, and the other was his sister's situation. But the latter was a conflict of such a massive scale that it was impossible to resolve alone, and the fact that it wasn't entirely his own business was a headache. Hesitating over whether it was okay to keep saying this, whether it would put his sister in a difficult spot, Yoonsin opened his mouth unconsciously.
"Chief. Actually, you see..."
"Don't tell me what that is."
"Why?"
"Because I'll feel like I have to grant your request. I hate getting into troublesome things."
"..."
"Alright, pro bono over."
Leaving Yoonsin at the dim corner, he tried to walk away again. Feeling unfairly treated because he kept seeing only Seheon's back, Yoonsin grabbed his sleeve. That wasn't enough, so he slowly pulled his hand down. Past the firm wrist where hard bones protruded, he lightly grasped his soft-skinned hand. When Seheon flinched and tried to push him away, he held on even tighter.
"4th-year. What the hell are you doing."
Staying still like that for a moment, Yoonsin slowly leaned his body toward Seheon instead of replying. Lowering his face toward his shoulder blades and chest area, he bumped his smooth forehead against him.
"Have you ever heard the saying that the greatest weakness is the fear of showing weakness?"
"What do you want to say?"
"The moment you were afraid I'd become a flaw. You already developed a defect, Chief."
He said nothing. So he stepped a little closer and leaned in as if hugging him. The sensation of Seheon's chest rising and falling as he swallowed a dry breath was transmitted entirely. Yoonsin calmly closed his eyes.
When his heart was struggling, he was lonely because he was alone. And Seheon appeared before him like magic. Perhaps he was the one who had found him.
"Do Yoonsin."
The low voice calling his name sounded good. He could hear his heart beating loudly. That was good too. The sensation of his hand fidgeting behind his back, agonizing over whether to hug him or not—would he believe him if he said it was lovely? Repeating such thoughts, his original intention to calm his mind in Seheon's embrace completely vanished. Yoonsin felt his heart start to beat violently. While he stood not knowing what to do and only swallowing breaths, Seheon suddenly forced their bodies apart.
Pushing him away and stepping back as if trying to get as far away as possible, creating some distance, he stared intently at Yoonsin. Seheon's expression looking at him like that slowly changed strangely. It seemed like he was ticklish somewhere, and on the other hand, he seemed angry.
"Were you dumped by a woman you unrequitedly loved alone for about 20 years?"
It was such an out-of-the-blue question that Yoonsin tilted his head.
"No. I went on a blind date today though."
And Yoonsin had never unrequitedly loved anyone.
"If not that, did you get scammed big time? Or blew all your father's inheritance?"
"My father didn't have much inheritance. I bought a house with my mother's inheritance and money my sister helped with. That's my retirement."
Hearing this answer, Seheon's face crumpled terribly as if he couldn't understand it even more.
"Then why do you look like you're going to cry again?"
"Me? Not at all."
Placing both hands on his cheeks, Yoonsin wiped his face dry. Contrary to his worry, he didn't feel any moisture. However, before his eyes, it strangely blurred as if fog was slowly setting in. It was because his feelings were a little hurt when Seheon stepped away from him earlier as if dealing with an off-putting object. It felt like just yesterday he thought it didn't matter whether he thought well or poorly of him. He didn't know why he was so shaken. His current expression, as seen by him, seemed to reflect that feeling and look very bad.
Wiping his bare face that revealed nothing a few more times, Yoonsin dropped his hands.
"It's because you keep pushing me away, Chief. I don't know if I look thoughtless, but I get hurt too."
"So that's why that expression came out? Are you telling me to believe that?"
"What can I do, it's the truth."
"..."
"Why am I like this? Your feelings bother me too much. Are you really going to keep shooting me down?"
Meanwhile, there were people passing around the arcade, so Seheon grabbed Yoonsin's hand and moved to a more secluded spot. The two stood close under the dim shadow, their hands still touching. Realizing this situation a beat too late, Yoonsin was inwardly panicked, fearing he might be rejected even though it was Seheon, not him, who initiated the skinship. When he reflexively tried to pull away, Seheon immediately pulled him back to stop him. That wasn't all. This time, he even interlaced their fingers. Naturally, the spaces between each other's fingers overlapped.
"What are you..."
It was the moment Yoonsin was about to ask his intentions. Seheon uninterlaced their fingers, and then held the back of Yoonsin's head with one large hand as if supporting it. Then, with his other hand supporting his back, he pulled his thin body firmly toward him. The two bodies overlapped tightly. Yoonsin's rustling jacket rubbed against Seheon's sweater. The sound of each other's rough heartbeats pierced their ears exactly as they were.
The moment he leaned into his will, he realized. He constantly needed this kind of time. Time where someone comforted him with their body heat. From the moment he faced his sister in front of his house until now, Yoonsin had been constantly so sorrowful and afraid. Someone might say it's nothing, but it wasn't like that for him. His sister was the only family he had left in this world. Even her children couldn't fill that. The moment he saw the strangulation marks on her neck, he was afraid she might be in greater danger, afraid he might lose her again. Having nowhere to speak of it, his anxiety only grew worse.
"It's warm."
A little moisture clung to his voice. Perhaps Seheon felt it too, as he hugged him tightly, as if to crush him. Not only that, but he slid his straight fingers through his soft hair and slowly stroked it. Feeling the pressure wrapping around his body fully, Yoonsin breathed heavily.
"Why are you hugging me? If you do this, I'll get the wrong idea, you know."
"Because I don't want to see your face."
Letting out a chuckle at the extremely typical answer, Yoonsin barely dragged his drooping hands up and hugged Seheon back. He said he hated it because everything about him was sincere, but he didn't know if he knew that he was sincere to him every moment. It was just that while he didn't hide it, Seheon desperately hid it. This body heat, which barely proved that his feelings had been revealed to the outside, was so precious that Yoonsin gripped the hem of his clothes tightly.
"You're not going to push me away again, right."
"I won't."
"Even if the sun rises from the west..."
"It didn't rise."
"Actually, I know that too."
Laughing softly as if deflating, Seheon kissed Yoonsin's fine hair with a *smack*. While Yoonsin's startled body stiffened in his embrace, he confessed in a somewhat hollow voice.
"Hah, this is why I tried to bury it. I hate games where I'm losing from the start."
Presumably, it meant that their feelings for each other were not yet balanced. Yoonsin couldn't actively deny it either. Certainly, this stage was tilted in Seheon's favor. But surprisingly, it was Yoonsin who was psychologically more dependent on the other.
He roughly understood his words, but it felt like the right timing to ask about the exact implication. Very gently, carefully and slowly as if probing him, Yoonsin opened his mouth.
"From now on, if I get lonely, by my side..."
"Don't say it. I won't do it."
"Can you be there for me?"
He quickly spat out the latter part to him who said he wouldn't listen, and closed his mouth in a tight line. At the same time, Seheon's sigh dug into his ears. He waited for a while, but he didn't answer. Growing anxious, Yoonsin added.
"You already showed your cards, so you can't back out. You can overturn an appeal, but I can't overturn that. Because I'm at a dead end right now."
"No, you've never been to a dead end. You're a greenhorn who thinks the world will collapse over a fingernail-sized misfortune right in front of you. It's obvious it'll be nothing once you dig into it."
Riled up, Yoonsin pushed Seheon's chest. Their gazes met.
"Are you done talking?"
"I'm going to stop now. Because I'm going to do something else. I've wanted to kiss you all along, but I held back for too long."
Yanking the tie that was awkwardly resting over his shirt, he skillfully drove Yoonsin against the wall. He pressed him in an angle where even if people passed by, they wouldn't be seen well because of his height, and tilted his head. This time was different from the bar last time. Their skin definitely overlapped, and Yoonsin, with his eyes open, saw it all.
Their lips touched, separated, and brushed shallowly yet strangely against each other several times. Yoonsin's Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed breaths to suppress the tension that had spiked to the limit. The very moment he slowly parted his lips, thinking he needed to speak, Seheon frantically sealed his lips.
"Chief, mmph!"
He was momentarily surprised by the lips overlapping much more densely than before, but that was it. Yoonsin reflexively grabbed Seheon's shoulders to maintain his balance. Then, he tilted his face slightly in the opposite direction that he tilted so their lips could interlock better. Their smooth skins collided again and again. Seheon bit and sucked Yoonsin's lower and upper lips equally. Soon, he slowly pushed his tongue through the gap of their lips.
"Mm, mm..."
The two wet lumps of flesh entangled wetly. The bumps on their tongues tangled together as if densely filling the empty space. Smooth saliva mixed every time the tips of their tongues collided. *Thud.* Yoonsin's writhing back hit the long banner set up by the closed store. When he pulled Seheon's clothes as if asking for help because he felt like he would fall, he pulled his arm right along and moved to find an even darker and more secluded spot.
He leaned his thin body against the wall and endlessly explored his wet lips. Yoonsin, who was clumsy at kissing, struggled because he couldn't breathe. Nevertheless, Seheon couldn't let go and rushed in greedily repeatedly.
"Mmph, breath, can't breathe...!"
Hugging Seheon's neck tightly, Yoonsin begged with his fingertips for a moment to be released. He, who had persistently and meticulously tasted the soft feeling of his lips, the strange texture of his flesh, and even the sweet saliva, finally peeled their skin apart. However, their faces were still close to each other.
The deep sigh he exhaled scattered over the other's lips. He lightly kissed *peck, peck* around his jaw, not wasting even the short time they were separated.
"Your saliva is dripping."
*Haa, haa.* Breathing roughly, Yoonsin felt ashamed and closed his mouth slightly. Then he opened his eyes narrowly and stared at Seheon.
"Is a flesh assault your style? How can you just kiss me outright without even saying you like me or anything. I'm doing this with a man, so I need to prepare my heart too."
Then Seheon grabbed Yoonsin's chin as if he didn't want to hear it. At the same time, Yoonsin recalled a certain memory. A few months ago, when they met in his room, Seheon had also held his chin like this and swept his gaze over his face. Did he perhaps feel the same impulse as now back then? As he was reminiscing about that day, he commanded in a low voice as if he didn't like the fact that he was lost in other thoughts.
"My style is a superior's order. Open your mouth."
Complying, Yoonsin parted his lips slightly. Then, he forcefully shoved his tongue into the dark, warm cave. As if it were the first time, their lumps of flesh overlapped wetly again. He began to mess up Yoonsin's insides. In response, his thin hands with nowhere to rely hugged Seheon's neck even more desperately.
The deep kiss of secretly devouring each other away from people's eyes continued for a long time.
Until the darkest dawn came, it continued.