Heiner looked at it, then raised his head again. Before he knew it, the performance had ended, and she was turning to the next sheet of music.
Unlike her, safe inside a warm and peaceful room, he stood in the cold rain. A chill ran through his entire body along with a terrible sense of reality.
Ha. A low, hollow laugh escaped him. What on earth had he been thinking?
That child's pain would be nothing more than struggling with piano practice, scraping her knee after a fall, or fighting with a friend.
No one would dare administer strange drugs to that child. Neither would they inflict violence upon her nor lock her in an isolation cell.
What he experienced was far removed from the range of pain that child could imagine. Perhaps she didn't even know that a place like the training facility existed.
It was a well-known fact that the Count cherished his only daughter dearly. He would have raised her seeing and hearing only good things.
There was no need for a precious young lady to bother knowing about trainees raised in the shadows.
With that being the case, who could possibly feel a sense of kinship with whom?
His mind had clearly gone strange not long after getting out of the isolation cell. Listening to such a performance in that state had only scattered his mind.
‘Even so…….’
He clenched his fist tight.
‘If she were to learn of my existence…….’
In Heiner's mind, she was something religious. Exactly what that was, he could not explain with the words he knew.
But if it were that child, she would likely grieve over this situation. She would likely empathize. She would likely be angry.
Because she, seated before the piano, always looked holy and pure.
Like Saint Marian painted on the mural in the Rosenberg mansion's banquet hall…….
Suddenly, her hand pressed the keys. A low note traveled through the closed window. The next piece had begun.
The rain fell a little harder. Heiner stood motionless for a long while in the steadily falling rain.
The pieces whose titles he didn't even know were like demons that stole souls. Or perhaps like Christ, who was said to save forsaken souls.
If anyone were to ask him about religion, he would think of this child.
Like other people who prayed earnestly to a god they could not reach.
Even if the performance ended and he was thrown back into cold reality…….
***
Time flowed like running water.
Heiner, who had not missed a single one of the Count's dinner gatherings during that time, graduated from the training facility with unprecedented grades. And he immediately enlisted in the Special Operations Unit.
After completing two domestic missions, he was ordered on an overseas assignment. It was to assassinate a high-ranking member of the newly established Revolutionary Party in Demadonia and extract classified information.
The Unit estimated this mission would take at least a year and a half, at most two years. It meant he would not be able to return to Padania for the time being.
Before leaving, Heiner sought her out one last time. Legs that had grown much longer and thicker strode across the garden. Over four years, he had become a full-fledged young man.
Her practice hours had still not changed. She was always in that spot, and he always sought out that spot.
It was a clear day without a single cloud.
In Heiner's arms was a bouquet woven of statice and hydrangeas. It was the first bouquet he had ever purchased from a flower shop on a street within the estate.
It was something he couldn't have dreamed of during his trainee days. Even now there were still restrictions, but compared to when he had been trapped on the island, he could move relatively freely.
A long wind blew from behind Heiner. His black hair, grown long enough to reach his nape, fluttered.
He raised his eyes to look where the wind led. A window in the white building was half-open.
Heiner approached the building while erasing his presence. Through the window with its curtains fully open, he saw a familiar, dazzling figure.
With her head slightly tilted, she was marking something on the sheet music. She had her nose slightly wrinkled as if in concentration.
Heiner stood beside the window and took in that sight. The curved silhouette bathed in sunlight sparkled.
The girl had grown over the four years as well. However, though only her body had changed slightly, her delicate features and baby fat remained the same, so at a glance she still looked like a child.
She pressed the keys and lifted them again repeatedly. She seemed to be gauging the notes, adding chords with slight variations.
Soft blonde hair flowed down along the line of her tilted neck and shoulders. Heiner stared endlessly at that scene with eyes half-longing, half-bitter.
"Wasn't his life's wish to get into the Special Operations Unit?"
Heiner had fulfilled someone's lifelong wish. And now he wanted to enlist in the regular army that every trainee dreamed of.
To do so, he had to prove his skills and loyalty with his life on the line. If a person from the very bottom wished to stand in the sunlight, that was the only way.
If he rose that way, if he became a slightly better human being, if he could become even a little of the same class as her─.
Heiner quietly moved his lips. At the same time, keys were pressed and the sound of the piano rang out.
Could I strike up a conversation with you?
Could I stop doing nothing but watching you from afar?
Could I let you know that a person like me exists, that people like me exist……?
Heiner's gray pupils trembled faintly. He closed his eyes and opened them again. In the revealed eyes once more, emotion had been almost erased.
Heiner returned to his usual cold face and looked at the bouquet in his hand. He slowly placed the bouquet on the windowsill. It was an exceedingly careful touch, unlike his cold expression.
Her fingers settled on the keys again. Chords endlessly revised and refined rang out in harmony.
Blue petals swayed along the wave-like melody.
***
Time flowed like running water.
Heiner continued to travel abroad, completing three short-term missions and two long-term missions. In the process, he rose to the ranks of the Count's inner circle.
Of course, due to the nature of the Special Operations Unit, it was not official. Heiner always worked as a shadow. Only those involved knew of his merits.
Whenever he returned to his homeland, Heiner was invited to the Count's mansion. He heard congratulations and words of encouragement for his successes, and shared the dinner table.
And he always went to find that child.
That child.
She had grown to the point where she could no longer be called that. The chubby baby fat and childish cuteness from his memories had disappeared, and she bore the full bearing of a lady.
Her delicate features exuded an elegant and pure atmosphere. Her body, once merely petite, now drew mature curves.
The precious young lady of Rosenberg had debuted in high society a few years ago and received countless advances. Men and women, old and young, everyone loved her.
She had also become a real pianist. She had placed in several world-class competitions and had even held solo recitals.
Befitting that growth, the practice room had been moved to the interior of the mansion. It was only on the day he returned from completing his second short-term mission that Heiner learned of this fact.
Because of that, he had not seen her even once in the past eight months.
"Hey, did you see?"
His colleague Jackson whistled and nudged Heiner.
"The Count's daughter. She just passed by. Right over there."
Uncharacteristically, Heiner nodded blankly. He had seen her too. The woman who, leading three maids, walked like a swan with her neck held straight.
Jackson spoke in admiration.
"I only saw her for a moment, but she's just like the rumors. Don't you feel she's really a different class from us from birth?"
Even though he had known it well, Jackson's words struck him anew. Heiner replied as if muttering.
"……Yeah."
It was the first time he had seen her somewhere other than the practice room. Heiner gazed at the hallway she had passed through for a long while.
Now, unless by luck like this, he couldn't even see her. And that luck was nothing more than a fleeting moment at best.
Suddenly, a hollow feeling surged in like a tide.
‘What the hell am I doing?’
In truth, it was a thought he had constantly while carrying out operations. What the hell am I doing. What the hell am I doing this for.
During operations he had been injured countless times, had overcome several near-death crises, and had lost many comrades. As these things repeated, Heiner felt something inside him being worn away.
Yet the reason he endured was Anette Rosenberg—solely because of that one woman.
Because of that one woman.
Because he wanted to stand beside that woman.
‘Is that really possible?’
She was the most beautiful and noble lady in Padania. No matter how much he struggled and climbed, he would not be able to reach even her feet.
As Jackson said, he and she were 'a different class from birth.' Something that could not be changed by effort. Doubt crept in over whether these efforts really had meaning.
"Oh, oh, oh? Look at this bastard? He can't take his eyes off?"
At Jackson's sly voice, Heiner snapped to attention. He inwardly cursed his own carelessness and answered indifferently.
"I was merely confirming the face of the Count's daughter."
"Bullshit. Lady Rosenberg really is pretty, isn't she? Even the great Heiner can't take his eyes off her, huh?"
Jackson grinned and teased him repeatedly. Heiner remained silent as if it weren't worth answering.
"Hey, give it a try."
Jackson said to him, wiggling his eyebrows. Heiner furrowed his brow.
"Stop talking nonsense."
"Handsome bastard playing dumb. They say Lady Rosenberg is a huge romantic. She looks at appearances too. So she doesn't only meet men of high status. Contrary to her looks, she's stubborn, so the Count can't interfere in her love life either, hahaha. Of course, for marriage he'll definitely make her marry someone of similar rank."
"……Even a casual date would be with someone middle class at the least."
"Hey, hey. If we formally enlist, we become middle class right away. If we just hide that we're from the training facility…… hahah."
Though he dismissed it as nonsense, Heiner's eyes remained fixed on the end of the hallway. Vulgar thoughts rolled through his head about what kind of men she had met.
The mint-colored dress that had already disappeared flickered before his eyes. Heiner bit his lower lip tightly and released it. A low curse slipped out.
"Damn it."
"I'm trying to cheer you on and you just curse at me."