In Paris, France, after the Ballon d'Or ceremony had completely concluded.
A lengthy post was published on Manchester City’s social media account.
It was a post by Lee Jian, one that the club—confident he would win the Ballon d’Or—had requested from him.
A kind of acceptance speech, or perhaps a life story.
The post was as follows.
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mancity Ballon d’Or, Lee Jian.
1. This is something from when I was ten years old. It must have been during gym class at school. At the time, I had no interest in sports, so I was sitting in the shade with my one and only friend, watching the other kids, when that friend looked at some older boys playing soccer on one side of the field and said something. That they looked cool. That was the very simple reason I started playing soccer.
2. I talked to my parents and joined the soccer team. It was a life begun for a strange reason, but soccer was fun. I had thought I wasn’t interested in exercise, but soccer was a bit different. I suppose you could say there was fun in using my head. To me, it felt something like a puzzle game. More than most games or toys, soccer felt more fun, and I enjoyed it. Of course, I also had the drive to do well. Because I wanted to look cool.
3. But after a year passed, I could no longer enjoy soccer unconditionally. Because I had been placed in the elite player class. At first, I liked it. The player class was a place only talented kids could enter. But once I actually got in, I realized something. That the soccer I had been playing until then wasn’t soccer—it was just kicking a ball around. In the player class, I began learning not how to enjoy it, but how to win, and that gradually made soccer feel like homework rather than play.
4. Honestly speaking, I was a child who had never once been scolded by my coach. I always received praise, to the point that the coach would speak to my parents separately about me. But while I liked it, it was also burdensome. Because receiving such praise created expectations from my parents, and with that came daily homework I had to solve. That homework was receiving praise.
5. My parents had always worried about me. But after I started soccer, they became proud of me. As I mentioned, it was because I was quite good at it. I liked that, and I wanted to continue being a son they could be proud of. Obsession, compulsion, and anxiety began from that time. Because I didn’t want to go back to being a son they worried about. Now soccer went beyond simply not being fun—it became something I didn’t want to do but had to force myself to do.
6. Puberty came for me too. The world began to look crooked. During puberty, I resented the fact that I had a talent for soccer. I was a child for whom being good was expected, and therefore a child who had to be good. That was so burdensome and hateful. But greedily, I still wanted to keep doing well at soccer. Because I hated showing a disappointing side of myself that failed to meet expectations. So I just denied it. The very fact that I had talent.
7. Hiding garbage in a corner under the bed doesn’t make it disappear. Even if you can’t see it, it still exists, and eventually it rots and begins to smell. The sprout of conflict that began with me spread to my family, and problems erupted. Honestly, it was a very confusing matter for young me. A collapse of unknown origin came, and I lost my purpose. Having even forgotten why I had started soccer in the first place, I ended up going to study abroad in Italy.
8. Adapting wasn’t easy. Thinking about it now, it was only natural. I didn’t know a single word of Italian. Everything was unfamiliar and scary. There was no way I, a timid child even in Korea where people understood me, could adapt easily. Difficult times continued. During that period, I had gone from being a talented child to a troublemaker before I knew it.
9. I ran away again. Having failed to adapt, I moved to a city called Florence. Just as I had gone from Korea to Italy. But because the problem was within me, running away didn’t change anything. I was simply grateful that there was no one to bother me. I still had no interest in soccer.
10. Then one day, I received a phone call. I mentioned earlier that I had one and only friend, right? It was a call from that friend, saying that they too would be coming to study abroad in Italy. I was utterly shocked. Because I didn’t want to show my current state to that friend. I told you, didn’t I? That the very reason I started soccer was because that friend had said those older boys looked cool.
11. But the fortunate thing was that thanks to that, I was reminded of why I had started soccer in the first place. Something I had forgotten for a while. Listless days began to change into motivated days. I had been struggling just to survive—could there be any greater motivation than that? As I began to struggle with all my might, I found myself rising toward the surface before I knew it.
12. But it wasn’t by my strength alone. There were people who took pity on me and reached out their hands. A good manager, coaches, and teammates. Without their help, no matter how much I struggled alone, I would have quickly tired and sunk back down. In that sense, I was lucky. Because I met good people who allowed me to open the doors of my heart.
13. I went from the substitute group to the starting group, from a bench player to a starter. Before I knew it, I was already stepping on the grass of the first team’s stadium. Unbelievable, dreamlike times continued. To the point where I wondered if this was really allowed.
14. But even in those moments, compulsion and anxiety continued on. Perhaps they had grown even worse. From above, it might have looked elegant, but below the surface, I was struggling to survive. Because every day felt like a dream, I was tormented by the fear of waking from it. Each time that happened, I struggled even harder.
15. During that time, I met a friend named Matteo. And through talking with that friend, I learned something. That depending on my mindset, such compulsions and anxieties could either gnaw away at me or become weapons that pushed me forward. It depended on how I decided to think. Once I accepted them, my mind felt a bit lighter. That they could be my weapons.
16. The time I spent in Florence, at Fiorentina, was truly meaningful. It was a time of growth both as a soccer player and as an immature human being. It was fortune to have spent my most important period there. Even now, and in the future, that place and those times will remain deep in my heart.
17. Coming to Manchester City was a new challenge. Though I had learned how to deal with pressure, an enormous transfer fee wasn’t something easily handled even with that. I had to do my part, and to do that, I couldn’t let my guard down for a single moment. Whether on the pitch, at the training ground, or at home. Every moment was like that.
18. Ironically, the reason I could endure it was that I had been placed in such an environment since I was young. I’m saying that it was thanks to the days I had thought were unhappy. Isn’t it ironic? If I hadn’t had those childhood experiences, if I hadn’t received that preemptive vaccination, I wouldn’t have known how to overcome it. Then I wouldn’t have been able to come this far.
19. I may have rambled on with these lengthy stories because I wanted to say this. I know it’s a presumptuous thing to say, but I’m gathering the courage to say it thinking that it might help children even younger than me. If you are suffering because of something right now, I hope you overcome it. If you run away from it, the only one who loses is yourself. But once you overcome it, you gain an incredible weapon. A weapon that only those who have experienced it can possess.
20. Tomorrow, I will attend an event called the Ballon d’Or ceremony. I don’t know whether I will win the award or not. But either way, it doesn’t matter. Because I have already achieved my dream. Since I was someone who started soccer because a friend said those older boys playing soccer looked cool, if I’ve heard that same friend say I look cool, then my dream has already come true.
21. Now my goal isn’t the Ballon d’Or or such things—it’s West Ham United. They’re the opponent in the next season’s opening match. Having lived this way, I intend to run toward yet another new goal.
22. Hmm... still, I do hope I win the award. Because if I win and this post is made public, I’ll look slightly less foolish. Well then, goodbye.
—LEE JIAN.
···
November 2, 2024.
Manchester, England. Etihad Stadium.
Today was the day of the 11th round league match between Manchester City and Brighton.
Under the bright white sunlight of the daytime match illuminating the stadium, the Etihad Stadium appeared packed to capacity with spectators, leaving no room to step.
Perhaps thanks to the team’s record, undefeated this season following last season, the spectators’ expressions were as bright as the sunlight.
However, the festive atmosphere in the stadium today wasn’t solely due to their record.
There was still quite some time before the match would begin.
Yet the stadium was packed to capacity from this early hour because of one event scheduled before the match.
What would be a good name for this event?
Could you call it a trophy showcase?
We are City-!
We are City-!
Super City-!
from Maine Road-!
Manchester City’s chant echoed thunderously, loud enough to leak outside the stadium.
[Ladies and gentleman, please welcome!]
At the announcer’s voice, all spectators began to rise to their feet.
From the tunnel where the players entered, shining trophies began to reveal themselves one by one.
[Community Shield-!]
The first trophy was the Community Shield trophy.
At the announcer’s lead, all the spectators joined in chorus, the sound ringing through heaven and earth.
[UEFA Super Cup-!]
The second trophy was the UEFA Super Cup.
It was the winner’s trophy of the competition where the Champions League winners and the Europa League winners face off.
[FIFA Club World Cup-!]
Next, the third trophy was the FIFA Club World Cup trophy.
True to its World Cup name, it was the winner’s trophy of the competition where clubs from every continent compete.
[The FA Cup-!]
The fourth trophy was the winner’s trophy of the FA Cup, England’s oldest competition.
The trophies were placed side by side on the pitch, and though there were already four of them.
The parade of trophies still continued.
[The Premier League-!]
The fifth, the Premier League winner’s trophy.
And following that, finally...
[The Champions League, The big ears-!]
A trophy as enormous as its nickname, as large as a person’s torso, made its entrance like a protagonist.
Big Ears.
The Champions League winner’s trophy.
We are City-!
We are City-!
Super City-!
from Maine Road-!
The powerful chant continued without cease, and the six trophies stood in their respective positions, displaying their majestic grandeur.
Then, one by one, the players revealed themselves on the pitch.
They appeared sending applause to the fans singing the chant at the top of their lungs, as well as celebrating their own achievement of having collected six trophies.
And so all the players lined up with the trophies before them.
Manager Guardiola stood before them as well.
With his hands behind his back, pride seemed to overflow from the expressions of everyone standing there, though someone with keen eyes might have noticed something.
That one person was missing.
At that moment, the stadium announcer took the microphone once more.
[Please welcome-!]
The final trophy entered.
[The Ballons d’Or-!]
Amid tens of thousands of spectators, and Manchester City players and coaching staff welcoming it together with applause in perfect unison.
A golden ball.
The Ballon d’Or entered the Etihad Stadium.
Waaaaaaaah─!
Lee Jian, the protagonist of the Ballon d’Or, revealed himself holding the trophy, and Lee Jian stood before the players and the six trophies.
Lifting the golden ball above his head, he turned in a circle, showing off his trophy to everyone.
At that proud sight, the sound of applause in the Etihad Stadium showed no signs of ceasing.