A soccer player's life is relatively simple.
Depending on how you look at it, you could even say it's boring.
Because each day flows by exactly the same.
A life of waking up at the same hour every day, training at set times, eating the same meals every day, spending the same evening, and then falling asleep at a set time.
Soccer players are praised for working hard in direct proportion to how boring their lives are compared to anyone else.
Maybe that's why.
The club counselor said that soccer players need to manage their stress well.
Because every day is a continuous competition, and moderation is essential to surviving that competition.
They said you need to be able to healthily release the stress that inevitably builds up.
So they said it's good to have at least one wholesome hobby.
Like reading, or some other light exercise, or raising animals.
They even said there's a player with the unusual hobby of wandering the back mountain picking mushrooms.
They said that such things serve as a good outlet for releasing the stress that builds up every day.
If there's no outlet, it just keeps accumulating until one moment—pop—it explodes and causes problems.
Because athletes are ultimately human too.
They said you have to take good care of physical injuries, but mental injuries as well.
They said that side is actually harder to recover from.
So I thought about it once.
Just what is my hobby?
I thought about it, but when I did, I realized I didn't really have anything that could be called a hobby.
Reading was just studying or occasionally reading a few required books.
I didn't like any other exercise besides soccer.
I like animals, but raising them is too burdensome to even consider.
Of course, I'd never gone to the back mountain to pick mushrooms either.
Looking at it that way, I felt like I was someone who truly lived an exceptionally boring life.
Because on my days off, all I did was lie around all day, or get dragged outside for a forced breath of fresh air before coming back and lying down again.
If breathing, eating, and spacing out counted as hobbies, then I could say I had hobbies; but aside from those, I had nothing.
However, if you asked whether I was just letting stress pile up, that didn't seem to be the case either.
Enjoying a hobby is ultimately spending time doing what you like, and by that logic, I was doing that every day.
The small moments spent with the person I love.
"···"
Sitting on the living room sofa, I steal a glance at Jiu sitting beside me.
Jiu is completely absorbed in the TV screen.
For no reason, I speak to Jiu in a gruff tone.
"Hey, the remote."
"The remote? Why?"
Then Jiu looks at me, and seeing that face, I end up speaking even more gruffly for no reason.
"'Why?' What do you mean 'why?' I'm gonna watch something else."
If you ask why I'm speaking so gruffly, well.
Maybe I'm trying to hide this awkwardness I'm feeling for no reason.
Honestly, since the day before yesterday, I've been feeling a little awkward every time I look at Jiu.
Maybe because we're not simply friends anymore.
Now we're not friends... ahem.
Anyway, we've become a more special relationship than that.
It feels awkward, like I should treat and act differently somehow.
"But I don't wanna? I'm watching this."
"Hurry up and give it."
"Don't wanna? Don't wanna? Don't wanna?"
Of course, Jiu was no different than before.
Still joking around, teasing, treating me exactly the same as ever.
So it was a bit confusing.
Is this what dating... is like?
How would I know if I don't have any experience.
I thought things would change dramatically.
Well, because.
Aren't there things only couples can do, not friends?
So naturally, I thought things would be different.
But since nothing's changing.
I wonder what has changed.
I mean, going out to eat together, going for walks, talking over tea.
We did all this even when we were friends.
And the way I feel when I look at Jiu is the same too.
"Ah, hurry up."
"What are you gonna watch?"
"I need to watch the group draw."
"The group draw?"
"Yeah. It's on soon."
"Then it can't be helped. What channel is it? Is it on a sports channel?"
Anyway, well.
I guess this is just how it normally is.
Since Jiu is acting like usual, I should just act normal too instead of being awkward for no reason.
Hmm.
I still don't really know.
What this thing... called dating is.
This is harder than soccer.
"[...We will now connect live to Monaco for the 2023/24 season Champions League group stage draw, beginning shortly...]"
"Ah, we can watch it here."
Jiu, who had been fervently changing channels, puts down the remote.
Love is important too, but today is the day of the Champions League group draw.
I was holding up my heavy eyelids to watch it before going to sleep.
Actually, for a team like Manchester City, the group draw might not be very important.
Because they're the champions.
They're a team that beats anyone they meet in the Champions League, so who they face isn't particularly important.
So rather, my attention was more on our team—um... I mean, not our current team, but my original team.
Which group will Fiorentina be placed in?
I hoped they would get an easier group and advance to the knockout stage.
If not, I at least hoped they wouldn't end up in the same group as us.
I wanted to go to Florence, but I didn't want to go to the Artemio Franchi wearing a jersey that wasn't Fiorentina's.
"[...Then let us proceed with the group draw. The procedure is to first draw a ball from this pot...]"
The group draw begins.
First, the names of the teams in Pot 1—that is, the champions of each league—are displayed in full.
Balls are drawn to decide which group these teams will enter as the head of the group.
Group A, Group B, Group C.
Balls are drawn one by one, and the empty slots are filled one by one.
And then...
"[Group F. The Pot 1 team entering Group F is Manchester City.]"
"Oh, you're in Group F."
"I'm listening too."
The group we belong to is decided.
Group F.
The draw continues.
"[The Pot 1 draw has all concluded, and the current situation is as follows. We will now proceed to the Pot 2 draw; first, the teams belonging to Pot 2 are as follows.]"
After the Pot 1 draw comes the Pot 2 draw.
Before drawing the balls, the group draw rules are briefly explained.
Nothing special—just that teams from the same league cannot be placed in the same group.
So that means Manchester United and Arsenal there in Pot 2 can't come into our group.
A noticeable team name and emblem stand out in Pot 2.
Fiorentina is in Pot 2.
What are the odds here?
First, they can't go to Group C where Napoli of the same Serie A is.
They can enter any of the remaining groups, so is the probability one in seven?
Nah, no way.
There's no way they'd come to our group with odds that low.
"[...The team entering Group A is Manchester United.]"
...Hmm.
Well, one group is eliminated.
"[...The team entering Group B is Arsenal.]"
Now it's Group B, so there are still plenty left.
"[...Group C, Pot 2, Real Madrid.]"
Now it's Group D.
I hope they come out soon.
"[Group D, Dortmund.]"
"[Group E, Atletico de Madrid.]"
...Why isn't it coming out?
Wait.
Groups up to E are filled, so what remains are F, G, H.
Only three.
The one-in-seven probability has suddenly shrunk to one in three.
Come on.
Still, no way.
"[Next is Group F.]"
Gulp.
It's our group's turn.
The remaining teams are Leipzig, Porto, and Fiorentina.
Please.
"[The Pot 2 team entering Group F is...]"
Please...
"[...Serie A, Fiorentina.]"
...Ah.
How is this possible?
"Whoa, it's Fiorentina."
Is this for real?
Bzzzzt—
I stare blankly at the TV in disbelief when my phone suddenly starts ringing like it's on fire.
Checking what it was, the group chat with my Fiorentina seniors was exploding.
...Everyone's asking if this makes sense.
That was exactly what I wanted to say.
* * *
For a team like Manchester City, the schedule is incredibly tight.
Because they compete in so many tournaments.
League, FA Cup, Champions League.
On top of that, there's the League Cup, and though not throughout the season, tournaments like the UEFA Super Cup and the Club World Cup as well.
Moreover, Man City is a team that aims to win every competition.
Because they are a team that cannot avoid criticism if they don't.
Even more so because they won the three most important competitions last season.
Expectations for this season have soared to the sky just as high.
However, not every player can play every competition.
Because it's obvious they'd collapse from exhaustion if they did.
I know this well because I experienced it firsthand last season.
The season is long, and there are many matches.
To make it to the end, it's necessary to curb one's greed.
September 21, 2023.
We played in the Carabao Cup—that is, the League Cup.
League Cup third round.
We played against a team called Brighton; I didn't play in that match, and we took a 2-0 victory, advancing to the next round.
And the next fixture was the Champions League.
The first group stage match.
In our Group F, along with Fiorentina, there was also a team from the Serbian league called Crvena Zvezda, and a team from the Swiss league called Young Boys.
Among them, our first opponent was Fiorentina.
"···"
Feeling the dull hum, I look out the window.
Outside, white clouds are spread out brightly like a carpet.
The plane that departed from Manchester is heading toward Florence, Italy.
I hadn't expected to go back so quickly.
Somehow, I found myself on a plane heading to Florence once again.
Honestly, all sorts of thoughts come to mind.
It's not that I don't want to go to Florence.
I want to go back.
I want to walk the streets of the familiar neighborhood, and exchange greetings with the people I saw every day.
The Artemio Franchi, which was our home stadium, still feels like my own home.
But the problem is simply that the jersey I'll be wearing there isn't purple.
I have to stand before the Fiorentina fans wearing a sky-blue jersey.
And I have to beat Fiorentina, bringing them disappointment.
The professional world is cold.
No matter who the opponent is, you must win.
And I know that no one will curse me for it.
But I simply don't feel like it.
I mean, until just a few months ago, they were our team—people no different from family—and now I have to face them as enemies.
I'm worried.
When I stand there, how will the people receive me?
Will I be able to compete with all my heart against yesterday's teammates who fought and sweated with me?
Right now, I'm not confident.
But what must be done, must be done.
Also, perhaps I think this.
That maybe giving my best even against Fiorentina, showing an even better performance, is what I should do.
That might be the greatest courtesy and respect I can show to the team I loved, and still love.
"···"
But no matter how much I think that way.
I couldn't help but feel the speed of the plane drawing moment by moment closer to Florence was cruel.