138. Listen to Your Elders -4
“You look especially tired today. What were you up to last night?”
“I watched videos.”
“…Videos? At night?”
“Yeah.”
Sitting upright on the yoga mat, I was in the middle of stretching to prepare for training.
When I answered the question of Romero, who had deliberately laid out a mat in the seat next to me, he tilted his head for a moment before nodding.
“Hmm. I see. No wonder you looked tired.”
“…?”
“I understand. But didn’t you say you had a girlfriend? Ah, maybe Eastern culture is different. Well, we are minors after all.”
…What is he talking about.
When I looked at Romero with strange eyes as he spouted nonsense only he understood, the guy nodded as if he got it all and patted my shoulder.
“It’s that age, for us. I watch often too, so it’s fine. No need to be embarrassed.”
“…”
“I’m glad. We’ve reached the point where we can even talk about these things. I’m happy.”
I had no idea what he was talking about, so I decided to ignore him and focus on stretching instead.
Left leg stretched out straight, right leg folded with the heel drawn toward my butt.
Careful not to let my back round, I leaned my upper body forward.
My stretched hamstrings screamed, making me furrow my brows involuntarily.
Since I hadn’t slept well last night, I focused even more on stretching. When you’re tired, your concentration drops, and when that happens, it’s easy to get injured.
The reason I didn’t sleep well was because I watched match videos late into the night.
Breaking them down second by second, taking notes on my mistakes.
I replayed and replayed them until the early hours of the morning.
Thanks to that, when I woke up and looked in the mirror this morning, the circles under my eyes were dark.
Hmm.
But actually, there might be another reason why I feel especially tired today.
Because yesterday evening, I had been called to a very awkward setting and had a meal there.
I’m the type whose energy gets drained severely when plans are suddenly made.
Especially since we weren’t even close, it was even worse.
Anyway, through the arrangement of my agent, the person I met and had dinner with was Napoli’s Kim.
…Actually, he told me to call him hyung, but I plan to just call him Kim until we meet again at the stadium.
If I get too friendly, I worry my heart might unintentionally soften when we meet again and I get my revenge.
You have to keep work and personal matters separate, after all.
Anyway, I was extremely surprised at first.
Since this was the first time a player had contacted me privately like this outside of my teammates, I asked several times if he really wanted to see me.
When he said he just wanted to have a meal together, I went for now.
Even on my way there, I wrote down things to talk about in a notepad.
Because I was obviously going to feel so awkward I could die.
I wouldn’t feel this way if it were someone I was meeting for the first time, but someone I’d seen exactly once felt even more awkward.
But it was needless worry.
Of course, it was awkward at first, but in the end, we are both soccer players who can’t help it.
As we talked about soccer, I didn’t even get a chance to pull out the notepad I’d prepared.
I was mainly the one listening.
…Hmm, I did a lot of listening.
The most memorable story was, hmm.
A story from China?
That hyung—no, he said he spent a year in Turkey before coming to Italy, and before that he was in China.
Listening to his stories from his time in China made me wonder what kind of place China is.
And also… I heard him mention the national team in passing as well.
The story we talked about the longest was, as expected, about life abroad.
At that point I talked a bit more too, probably because it was the only thing we could relate to.
…I don’t know why, but there were quite a few times I felt choked up while talking.
Listening to stories about adjusting to life abroad for the first time reminded me of my past self.
The me from back then, when everything had felt terrifying.
“…Hey.”
“Huh? What?”
“When we were eating.”
“Eating?”
“Using a fork, isn’t it uncomfortable?”
“You’re asking if using a fork is uncomfortable?”
At my sudden question, Romero looked at me with a strange expression, as if asking what nonsense I was spouting.
Well. There was no way he would understand.
“…Never mind, forget it.”
“What, suddenly? If the fork is uncomfortable, eat with your hands. I do that sometimes.”
“…Yeah.”
I nodded back at Romero, who answered innocently.
It’s just, well, these really trivial things.
Like struggling because you have to use a fork instead of chopsticks, or the food being so greasy that you crave spicy food like crazy, or even the songs and TV shows you enjoy being different so you can’t join in conversations.
Sharing those trivial difficulties that you can’t help but experience unless you were born and raised here—just by doing that, I somehow felt comforted.
…It was a strange thing.
When you think of comfort, something very heavy comes to mind.
But it wasn’t like that. Just knowing that someone else had gone through exactly what I had gone through was comforting.
How should I put it.
The fact that someone so big, someone who looked like he had nothing to fear, had gone through the same difficulties I had… maybe it was because it made me feel like I wasn’t experiencing these things because I was particularly strange or weak.
It just was.
Of course, I have Dad, and Jiu, too. I have reliable seniors who make me feel like I won’t get pushed around anywhere. There are also people like the coach and the coaches whom I can learn from and follow.
But as a soccer player living abroad, I’d never had a friend I could relate to and talk with like this.
That’s all I meant.
“…”
…Come to think of it, I heard I’m really popular in Korea.
They’re just saying that, right?
“…Hey.”
“Huh? What now?”
“What I watched yesterday, I was rewatching the Napoli match.”
“…Huh?”
“I wasn’t watching something weird.”
As I finished stretching and stood up, thinking I should just let it pass but feeling like I needed to clear it up before moving on, I cleared up Romero’s misunderstanding.
Then Romero looked up at me blankly, then soon grinned and nodded.
“Yeah. Let’s go with that.”
“…”
Let’s go with what.
Anyway, he really is a funny guy.
*
“Don’t worry about it. Just because someone is a coach or a head coach doesn’t guarantee that everything they say is right. The judgment on the field is ultimately up to the player.”
“…Yes.”
“If I had felt you were doing something strange, I would have called you in and talked. I didn’t. It was an attempt worth trying. You just had bad luck.”
I nodded quietly at Coach Vincenzo’s words.
Sitting face to face with just the two of us in the manager’s office somehow reminded me of having a consultation with my homeroom teacher.
…It means it was awkward for no reason.
“I don’t think you will, but don’t lose your confidence for no reason. Whenever you step onto the pitch, you have to think your judgment is right. If it was wrong, we’ll give you feedback. So there’s no need to hesitate or doubt.”
“Yes.”
Coach Vincenzo is truly a good person.
Though he’s a bit scary during training or matches, he’s so gentle in normal times, as if he’s a completely different person, so he doesn’t feel unapproachable.
And yet, just now I had somehow hesitated before knocking on the door. I realized that apologizing first when no one had said anything is easier said than done.
I apologized for acting on my own in the previous match, going against what the coach and the coaches had said.
The coach had clearly told me not to get swept up in the opponent’s tempo, yet instead I followed along even more hastily.
The coach had clearly told me to run less and control myself, yet I ignored it and ran even more.
Honestly, it wouldn’t have been strange even if I had been scolded harshly, but instead the coach patted my shoulder, which only made me feel more sorry.
“Still, your expression looks bright, which is good. Did something good happen?”
“…Yes?”
“No, I was worried you might be very downcast. But you look even better instead. Did you finally score or something?”
…I couldn’t understand what he meant for a moment, then when I realized, I pouted and glanced at the coach.
Then the coach threw his head back and laughed heartily.
…Should I take back what I said about him being a good person?
“…It’s not like that.”
“That’s a shame. Then?”
“Just… I’ve gained a bit of confidence. It might sound strange, but I think I learned more from the match we lost… watching it again, I saw things that need fixing, so…”
“Hmm.”
The coach, who had been laughing heartily, soon returned to a calm expression and nodded.
They weren’t just words.
They weren’t something I said just to get by for a moment, like admitting I did wrong and promising not to do it again.
I really had learned a lot, and I gained confidence that I could do better going forward.
Really, it’s ironic.
Gaining confidence after losing.
But it’s true.
That’s how messy the ways of the world are.
“Yes, good. Let’s get proper revenge next time we meet. Since we lost once at home, we have to pay them back double away.”
“Yes.”
“You should get going? Your rabbit-like girlfriend must be waiting at home.”
“……She’s not like a rabbit.”
“You deny the rabbit part but not the girlfriend part?”
…Why does it always end like this.
More than any other mischievous senior who would be second to none in pranks, the coach is the most serious about teasing me.
When I show signs of being troubled, he smiles proudly as if he owns the world, and for the life of me I can’t tell what’s so fun about it.
Anyway, as I get up and leave the manager’s office.
The coach follows me out and drapes his arm over my shoulder.
“You said you’d listen to your elders from now on.”
“…?”
“You promised, right?”
“…Yes.”
“Then on your way home today, do as I say. If you go toward the plaza, there are many flower shops there. Buy just one pretty lily and hand it to her casually. Don’t say unnecessary things like you prepared it for her. Just casually.”
“…”
“I guarantee it. She might not show it, but she’ll probably love it. Something like that lasts a year.”
…I had been wondering if he was going to give me some serious advice again, but it’s that again.
No, well, he seems to be saying it seriously.
I didn’t say I would follow this kind of coaching, too.
“But… you’re a soccer coach.”
“Hmm?”
“Not a dating coach… a soccer coach.”
When I politely tried to say I didn’t need that kind of talk, though I’d listen to soccer talk, the coach looked at me with a dumbfounded expression.
“Jian.”
“Yes?”
“How many girlfriends have you had?”
“…Suddenly?”
“Yes. I’m asking how many you’ve dated.”
“…I haven’t dated any.”
“Then listen to me. On the field, I don’t know, but in this world you’re a prospect who hasn’t even debuted yet. Compared to that, I’m a veteran among veterans. So what. You should listen to me, right?”
…I wanted to say what does that have to do with anything, but it somehow sounded plausible, which was irritating.
“Listen to your elders. Huh?”
“…”
“If you don’t want to, say you don’t want to. But it’s not, right?”
“…I’ll go try. See you tomorrow.”
Leaving the manager’s office, I bowed my head in place of an answer.
As I turned and walked away, a persistent voice followed from behind.
“Don’t forget. Not more, not less—exactly one stem!”
It was only the day before yesterday that I resolved to listen to my elders.
Still, isn’t this a bit much?
…Sigh, I don’t know.
*
“…”
Ha, I’m going crazy.
I need to hurry home, but I don’t know why my steps are hesitating.
If only I had just passed by without seeing it.
Why is this small flower shop, whose existence I didn’t even know about before, catching my eye now.
“…”
Give flowers? And not to anyone else, but to Jiu?
I’ll definitely be told I’ve lost my mind.
Because it is a crazy thing to do.
But I guess people sometimes have moments like this.
Knowing it’s crazy—no, rather because it’s crazy—there are times when you suddenly feel the urge to try it.
…I resolved so hard to listen to my elders; I can’t break that after just one day.
Well, yeah.
This isn’t another problem. It’s a problem of my resolve.
If I break my word just one day after making that resolution, I’ll keep breaking my resolutions in the future.
I told you.
Humans are creatures of adaptation.
Breaking resolutions becomes a habit.
…What did he say again.
A lily, exactly one stem, was it.
“Ah, damn.”
Scratching my head for no reason, I headed toward the flower shop.
No matter how much I think about it, one stem doesn’t feel right. I should buy two.
Then if I give one to Dad too, he won’t think it’s strange.
Wow, that’s a totally good idea.
Maybe I was a genius in this sort of thing…?