134. Caught a Strange Illness -4
···It’s really not even funny.
“···”
Barely arriving home and searching for my keys to open the door, I feel a delicious scent wafting through the gap of the open window.
A smile forming at the corners of my lips without me realizing it was the first thing that wasn’t funny.
The second was··· though I had made up my mind to completely ignore it, suddenly at this moment, my sunbaes’ words came to mind.
They said if I just said I missed you, it would be over?
···Just what exactly would be over?
It’s really not funny at all.
But why does it feel so tempting?
Shaking my head, I open the door and go inside.
“Hm? Oh! Jian’s home.”
“Yeah. I’m home.”
As soon as I open the door and enter, I hear my father’s happy voice, and soon enough, my smiling father appears in the entryway.
“Oh my, you’ve worked hard. Give it here.”
Having my bag practically snatched away by such a father, I bend down to take off my shoes··· and right after that, another happy voice strikes the back of my head.
“You think you’re something, going off to Spain by yourself again?”
···How can it be so predictable?
Instead of asking if I had a good trip, that blunt yet happy voice makes me pause for a moment even though I have more than enough time to take off my shoes.
Only after forcing my rising cheek muscles back down do I straighten up.
“Yeah. It was nice.”
Telling a bold-faced lie nonchalantly, I pass by Jiu without giving her a glance.
Wearing an apron that feels well-worn, as if it’s been washed and worn countless times, and even holding a spatula in one hand, Jiu’s figure flits across my peripheral vision.
“Wow, you come in without even looking at my face? Did noona teach you that?”
“···What are you on about.”
Walking quickly past the living room toward my room for no reason, Jiu follows behind me, chattering away.
Paying her no mind, I open my door, go inside, sit on the bed, and sigh at the coziness I’m feeling after a long time, when I see that Jiu followed me all the way here and is standing in front of the door, making me flinch for no reason.
“···?”
Leaning one elbow against the wall as if to intimidate me, Jiu shoots me a look.
In response, I turn my head slightly and act nonchalant.
“···What.”
“What? Whaaat?”
“···What is it.”
“Wow, this kid’s funny. I mean, we haven’t seen each other in a while, shouldn’t you at least greet me? You’re really too much.”
“What’s with the sudden··· we were texting just now.”
“What does that matter. If you see a person, you should greet them.”
···Since it’s not wrong, I decide to give up on retorting.
Texting is texting, and greeting is greeting.
But it’s strange.
I’ve known Jiu for years.
And excluding the periods we were apart during those years, I’ve practically seen her almost every day.
So why can’t I look at Jiu today?
I can’t muster the courage to look Jiu straight in the eye.
So while I’m pointlessly fiddling with my perfectly fine blanket, pretending to fix it, Jiu approaches and starts looking me over from every angle.
In response, I keep turning my head the other way, avoiding her face.
Then Jiu makes a tsk sound and speaks.
“···Hey, what’s wrong with you? You’re acting weird.”
Even I think my behavior is unnatural, so there’s no way Jiu wouldn’t notice.
I answer, mumbling.
“What do you mean···”
“Why are you avoiding me? Not greeting me, not looking at my face.”
“What’s with the sudden···”
“Hey. Look at me. I said look at me.”
“Ah, why···”
Because I keep avoiding her, Jiu brings her face close as if determined to make eye contact with me.
I desperately turn my head this way and that.
···This isn’t the pressure escape I practiced for times like this.
Still, I must have trained hard, because Jiu can’t keep up with my speed.
“This is really something.”
“What is···”
In the end, having succeeded in evading pressure until the very end, Jiu places a hand on her hip and sighs.
Then, as if realizing something, she goes, “A-ha.”
“Wow, I got it.”
“···Got what.”
“You did something wrong, didn’t you.”
“What do you mean wrong···”
“I’m right. That’s why you’re avoiding me. Because something’s eating at you, you can’t meet my eyes. What is it. Hurry up and tell me. If you tell me now, I’ll forgive you.”
Stretching out a hand as if demanding something, her ability to jump to the wrong conclusion is impressive too.
“What would I have done wrong.”
“How would I know? That’s why I’m telling you to talk. What did you do wrong.”
“Nothing. Like that.”
“Then why are you acting like this.”
“What did I···”
“What do you mean what. Look. You’re avoiding my eyes even now. If you didn’t do anything wrong, why can’t you look me in the eye? Something must be eating at you.”
“I told you it’s not like that··· and I’m not avoiding your eyes, what avoidance···”
···Hm.
It’s funny even as I say it.
Because even in the midst of saying I’m not avoiding her eyes, I’m avoiding her eyes.
So I feel a bit embarrassed, and sure enough.
Whether she really thinks I’m hiding something, or thinks I’m teasing her.
An elementary school-era Jiu voice comes out.
“I’ll give you one last chance. Talk. What did you do wrong.”
Is this what they call PTSD.
Hearing that voice from those days, I nearly confess everything without realizing it but barely hold back.
Instead, I play dumb.
“Nothing.”
“Then tell me why you’re avoiding my eyes.”
“···”
“You won’t talk? Can’t be helped.”
“What do you mean can’t be hel······ mmph!”
The moment I hear “can’t be helped.”
Based on years of experience knowing Jiu, a sense of danger flashes through me at the same time.
Thud-!
Without any time to react, I feel dull pressure on both cheeks.
Jiu had grabbed my face··· as if gripping a freshly caught fish.
“Look at me.”
“···!”
“Want to die?”
“···N-no.”
Muffled pronunciation leaks from my mouth, distorted because my face is squished like flour dough.
I swallow hard at the reveal of Jiu’s true nature that I had momentarily forgotten.
But there’s no time to worry about such things··· our faces are close enough that only about a soccer ball could fit between them.
···First, I quickly close my lips that have become a duck bill from the pushed-back cheek fat.
Unable to turn my head, I stare pointlessly at the philtrum.
Come to think of it, it’s the first time I’ve looked at Jiu’s philtrum this closely.
In the midst of this, the strange thought that her philtrum is adorably dimpled crosses my mind.
“Huh?”
Jiu suddenly opens her eyes wide, takes one hand off, and places it on my forehead.
Then her expression changes completely as she speaks in a worried voice.
“Hey, why is your face so hot? You’ve got a fever!”
“Uh··· uh?”
“It’s almost boiling! What do we do, this!”
Ah, no.
No matter what, my face isn’t really flour dough.
An urgent touch strokes all over my face.
Jiu’s breath, muttering hot, hot repeatedly, is felt up close.
···Damn it.
Could you keep your face from getting hot in this situation?
“A cold? Body aches? Because of the rain? Because it suddenly got cold after being somewhere warm? Huh?”
Whether she knows or not.
I gently push away Jiu’s hand that keeps grabbing at the wrong end.
“J-just stop touching me for a sec···”
“Huh? Oh, sorry. No, but it’s so hot! J-just wait here. I’ll go wet a towel or something!”
···A towel?
Without any time to stop her, Jiu urgently dashes out of the room, and in the chaos, I slowly bring my hand to my cheek.
···Wow.
The molten-lava-like heat I feel the moment I touch it makes me instantly understand why Jiu was making such a fuss.
And then it starts getting even hotter.
The fact that I got caught being embarrassed drove me crazy with embarrassment.
This won’t do.
Given the situation··· I have no choice but to play sick.
No.
I’m definitely actually sick.
Otherwise there’s no way a person’s face could get this hot, and there’s no way I’d do something so stupid as being unable to look at the face I said I missed so much now that it’s right in front of me.
“Hey, here!”
While Jiu was out of the room, I sneakily pull the covers over me and lie down, and soon Jiu comes running back holding a wet towel.
So hurriedly wet that water seems to be dripping···
“···Mmgh!”
“L-let’s cool it down!”
W-wait.
I-I can’t breathe, breathe!
If you cover my whole face with a dripping wet towel···!
“Mmgh! Mmgh!”
“Huh? It’s cold?”
“Mmgh! Mmgh-mmgh!”
“Ah, ah! You can’t breathe! Sorry, sorry!”
They say being sick is worse than dying, and thinking I might really die like this, I struggle desperately, and only then is the towel covering my nose and mouth lifted.
Hooah.
I-I almost died.
Along with the finally returning light, I see Jiu’s face multiplied by a hundred in panic.
“Ah, no, I’ve only seen it done somewhere, I’ve never actually done it before··· do I do it like this?”
As flustered as me, Jiu fumbles with folding the towel this way and that.
After a while, it seems to take a shape that can be placed on the forehead··· no, that’s not the only problem right now.
It feels like I’m at a swimming pool.
“Oh no, did I wring it too roughly? It’s all wet. What should I do?”
Only then noticing the dripping water, Jiu flusters and starts wiping my face and ears with the blanket.
···Something feels reversed.
You cover with a towel and wipe with a blanket.
But afraid something might happen if I say another word here, and fearing what might come next, I decide to stay still.
“Whew, there. Is it better?”
“···Yeah.”
For one thing, I’ve become a patient despite not being sick, and nothing seems to be going right, but having already given up, I nod.
However, Jiu still seems unable to shake off her fluster, unable to keep her hands still··· then she scratches her head with that hand and speaks.
“Geez. If you’re sick, you should say you’re sick.”
“···I’m not sick.”
“What do you mean you’re not sick! I thought my hand was getting burned, it was so hot.”
“···”
“No, well. Anyway. Get plenty of rest. I’ll go out and buy some medicine or something.”
“No, you don’t have to buy any···”
“Be quiet. Just lie there for now.”
Ah, no, it’s not to that extent.
But again, without any time to stop her, Jiu swishes out of the room.
“···”
Left alone with a rock-like towel on my forehead and a damp blanket over me, I silently stare at the ceiling for a moment before letting out a sigh.
It feels like a frenzied storm had passed and quiet had returned.
···I do want to remove the rock pressing down on my forehead, but not knowing when Jiu might come back in, I decide to leave it.
Simply staring blankly at the ceiling, I unknowingly burst into a short laugh.
I’m not sure what’s funny, but I just found it funny.
This situation, and··· above all, the funniest thing was.
That I wanted to see her so badly, yet now that she was right in front of me, I couldn’t even look at her properly.
“···.”
···Something feels strange in a corner of my heart again.
At the same time, words that didn’t even sound like what my sunbaes had said suddenly come to mind.
Is this··· what they call that?
“···.”
My whole body felt like it was floating, yet conversely, it also felt suffocating, as if sinking heavily down.
Now I really don’t know anymore···
ㆍㆍㆍ
The second day of October 2022, Artemio Franchi.
With the fluttering wind announcing that autumn had come.
“Let’s go, let’s go!”
“Cleanly, cleanly!”
Following the sunbaes who are noisily clapping and shouting encouragement, we exit the locker room.
Today is Round 7 of the league, the day of the match against Napoli.
With the schedule pushed up bit by bit due to the World Cup in December, up to Round 6, we had not yet suffered a single defeat.
Starting with the victory against AC Milan in the opening match, and the victory against US Lecce in Round 6.
There was one draw mixed in among those, but without a single loss, we are continuing with a record of 5 wins and 1 draw.
Such momentum fills the tunnel where we wait before stepping onto the ground.
Hm.
It’s not really anything in particular.
Just, how should I put it.
When I’m standing in line like this with my sunbaes, I get the feeling we won’t lose.
Even if the players of some other team are lined up beside us.
Thinking about where this confidence comes from, I suppose it must be experience.
The experience of tasting victory together with them.
The experience of not losing even against players I used to look up to.
Of course, that doesn’t mean I’m not nervous, but I think I’ve gained quite a bit of confidence now.
In many ways, thanks to the people around me.
“Hey-”
“Hey.”
Anyway, while waiting like that for a moment.
Light greetings are heard from behind, and the players wearing Napoli uniforms start filling the spots beside us one by one.
It doesn’t apply to me, but the sunbaes who have played in the league for a long time have a certain degree of acquaintance even with the opposing team, so they usually exchange greetings like this.
Whenever that happens, I keep quiet, or if a player occasionally greets me, I awkwardly return it.
Today was a bit different.
Because there was an opposing team player who greeted me more happily than anyone else.
Well.
It might just be my imagination, but the reason that felt especially welcoming··· might be because he used Korean that I could only hear at home.
“···”
Both happily and awkwardly.
After exchanging brief greetings and walking forward to take his position, I sneak a glance at his back.
Kim.
If I thought of it as a Korean name, I felt like I’d develop an unnecessary sense of intimacy, so I decided to draw the line at just Kim.
Because at this very moment, we were enemies.
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