Selection -1
“Well, so it wasn’t a lie after all?”
“…What lie?”
“No, I mean all that talk about being a soccer genius. I just thought you were saying it to impress me.”
“…Why would I tell a lie like that to impress you?”
I flinched.
When I said that, feeling guilty for no reason, Jiu laughed.
“Of course you should impress me. I raised you on my back.”
“…What.”
“Anyway. Wow, I didn’t know you’d score right after coming on. Our Jian, you were this good?”
“I told you. Scoring a goal isn’t that hard.”
Wow, the nerve… Even so, Jiu giggled at something.
Seeing Jiu like that, I too burst out laughing.
After the match.
I met Jiu in front of the stadium and was walking home with her.
‘Phew…’
Anyway, what a relief. Really.
I’d been able to play in the match, even if only briefly, and I’d even scored a goal.
Thanks to that, at least for today, I hadn’t been caught in my lie.
Honestly… I had gotten lucky.
If today’s opponent had been a strong team rather than Sassuolo, or if we hadn’t taken an early 3–0 lead.
I probably wouldn’t have gotten to play.
But everything had happened to line up perfectly, allowing me to score, so I was really lucky.
Thanks to that, I could extend this soccer genius act for another week, but…
“The matches are every week, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Who do you play next week?”
“Next week? Was it Napoli?”
“Napoli? Are they a good team?”
I nodded at Jiu’s question.
Next week’s opponent was SSC Napoli.
I’d heard they were a good team.
We were currently 3rd in the group, and Napoli was 2nd, I think.
First place was some team from Torino.
Anyway, Napoli was a stronger team than us.
“Then you’ll start from the beginning next week?”
“…Huh?”
“You said you might not play today because the opponent was weak. So shouldn’t you start from the beginning next week? Since you said they’re a good team.”
“Ah… right.”
Ah… that’s right.
I’d laid that groundwork.
“Ooh, then I’ll look forward to it? You scored one goal in ten minutes today. So next week, will it be nine goals?”
“…You really don’t know anything about soccer.”
“It’s a joke, a joke. Anyway, you can score more than today, can’t you?”
“Well…”
When I hesitated, Jiu stared into my eyes.
Those large pupils seemed to pierce right through my heart.
Today I had been lucky, but…
Next week was a real crisis.
Would I be able to play against Napoli, the 2nd place team in the group, when I’d only played ten minutes against Sassuolo, a lower-ranked team?
No, I might not even make the bench.
But…
“Why? No confidence?”
Looking at Jiu’s crescent-shaped eyes, words I didn’t even mean popped out of my mouth before I knew it.
“No confidence? What do you mean? What’s the point of talking about it. You’ll see when you watch.”
“Ooh. Is this the confidence of a genius?”
Why was strength entering my shoulders again?
I really don’t understand myself either.
I sighed internally.
Until yesterday, I’d thought that if I could just get through today somehow, things would work out.
That had been my delusion.
Lies only keep growing bigger until you confess.
Things were getting bigger and bigger.
At this rate, later I might even say that the Ballon d’Or is no big deal.
“Anyway, I’ll look forward to it. What kind of celebration will our Jian show us next time?”
Jiu said that, then mimicked a salute while snickering.
…My face grew hot.
Ah, seriously.
I shouldn’t have done this.
*
“Dad’s home—”
“Welcome back.”
Dad got home after evening had already passed.
He was always like that on weekends, but today was relatively early.
Sometimes he even got off work past 9 o’clock.
Maybe because it was his first on-time leave in a while, Dad’s expression looked quite bright.
“Have you eaten? Did you take out the food from the fridge?”
“Yes. I ate.”
“What about the laundry? Is this all of it? If you have anything to wash, take it all out. I’ll run the washing machine.”
“This is all of it.”
Actually, Dad didn’t have much time to rest even after getting off work.
As soon as he came home, he took care of my food first, and even before changing clothes, he took care of the laundry.
Since I was a soccer player, I had to eat well, and I generated huge piles of laundry to bundle up.
Dad was busy with one thing or another because of me.
Like this, Dad had no time to rest because of me.
He had to work hard outside, and do housework when he got home.
So when I was struggling with adjustment issues early in my study abroad, I couldn’t tell Dad.
Dad was having a hard time because of me too, so it felt wrong to whine about trivial things.
But I got scolded badly later for that.
There was a time when I couldn’t stand it anymore and got into a fight with a kid who was bullying me, and my face got messed up, and somehow during that I got found out.
Dad, asking why I hadn’t told him sooner, apparently went straight to the team, caused a scene saying he’d terminate the contract, and came back.
It was the first time I’d seen Dad that angry… since he fought with Mom.
Come to think of it, both times were because of me.
Anyway, the atmosphere was almost like we were going back to Korea then, but I said I’d stay.
It was because I knew Dad hadn’t made the decision to come to Italy lightly.
I didn’t know the details, but I knew he’d settled his job, our house in Korea, and everything else.
He’d even found a new job here with difficulty, and it felt wrong to go back right away because of me.
Also, though I hated most of my life in Italy, there was one good thing.
It was that I got to spend more time with Dad.
He was still very busy now, but actually, Dad had been even busier in Korea. Back then, there were more days when we could barely see each other’s faces.
There’s still one vividly remaining memory. Was it when I was in 5th grade?
While I was sleeping, Dad quietly opened the door and came in, sat by my side, and once muttered something quietly.
“You’ve grown so much…”
Dad was that busy.
Honestly, it hadn’t been long since Dad and I had grown close.
It was since coming to Italy and spending much more time together than before.
I liked that, and so I said I’d try just one more time.
Fortunately, it was possible because my current team had reached out to me at that time.
…Come to think of it, really.
I’m so immature.
If this was how it was going to be, I should have come to my senses and worked hard earlier.
I wish I could make a ton of money quickly.
Now that I think about it, it feels like the time to talk contract with the team is approaching too… Time really flies.
“Laundry, is this really all of it?”
“It’s all of it.”
“You went to the match okay?”
Dad, holding the laundry basket, asked as he passed by.
I nodded and answered.
“Yes.”
“Was it fun? The match.”
“It was fun, but I was a bit nervous.”
“Nervous? About what?”
“Because I played in the match.”
“…Huh?”
At my words, Dad, who had been putting laundry in the washing machine, turned his head to look at me.
I shrugged, pretending to be nonchalant.
“It was only ten minutes though.”
“You played? In the match?”
“Yes. Well, I even scored a goal…”
“……I see.”
Dad nodded and then turned his gaze back to the washing machine.
“You’re working hard these days. Good to see.”
“I have to work hard.”
“Mm. But don’t overdo it. No matter what happens, you can’t get injured.”
“Yes.”
As I answered, I glanced at Dad’s back, and I could tell even from behind that he was smiling.
⋅⋅⋅
I’d thought I could somehow breathe easy once the weekend match was over.
But still, I was at the training ground with my heart in my mouth.
“Pheww…”
I was truly experiencing the saying that half the battle is won by staying still.
“The opponent is weak so the ace, me, might not play?”
Sigh. Why did I say something like that?
The insurance I’d laid just in case has come back to bite me again.
Anyway, for things to add up, I have to somehow make the starting lineup for this week’s match.
Would they really use me as a starter in an important match against the 2nd place team in the group?
The chances of even coming on as a substitute would be no bigger than a fingernail.
I guess this is why you should watch what you say in life. Since I hardly ever open my mouth, it moves on its own at important times.
Anyway, this week is the real crisis.
“Ugh…”
Well, worrying won’t change anything, so all I can do is focus on training.
Today is Monday; the starting group does recovery training while the rest train as usual.
Since I’d played in yesterday’s match, I was enjoying the privilege of doing recovery training with the starters.
Having only played ten minutes, stretching on a mat next to kids sweating hard was a bit embarrassing.
What can you do.
The coach told me to do it.
…Honestly, it felt like I’d made it, so I felt good. A feeling like I’d really become a starter?
Though that was impossible in reality.
Anyway, it was while I was diligently doing recovery training.
“Lads!”
At the familiar voice, heads turned all at once. Looking, it was Gino in casual clothes instead of training gear.
“I came to say goodbye.”
“Yo, Gino. So you’re leaving.”
“Congrats, Gino!”
Hm… what’s this about?
Everyone started getting up and saying a word to Gino.
Listening roughly, it seemed like some kind of farewell…
Ah, don’t tell me he’s going to the U19 team today?
“Do well there.”
“I will.”
“Do I have to say goodbye too? We’ll see each other again soon.”
“Who knows. By the time you come up, I might be with the senior team.”
Gino and the kids exchanged greetings one by one.
Some friends embraced tightly, perhaps because they’d grown close, while others exchanged light goodbyes, thinking they’d see each other again soon.
Hm… but should I do it too?
I’d never talked privately with Gino.
I stood there debating whether to greet him or not, when Gino, who had been greeting them one by one, came to me.
Gino, standing before me, extended his hand to me too.
“Jian.”
“Ah, uh.”
When I awkwardly took his hand, Gino smiled and said.
“It’s a shame we couldn’t get closer.”
“Yeah, it is.”
“Thanks to you, I’m moving up early. See you again.”
Gino said that, then tapped my shoulder and turned around.
Then Gino greeted the kids once more and left the training ground with the coach.
“Ahh, I’m jealous.”
“If you think about starting over as the youngest there, I’m not jealous.”
“Then what, you want to stay here until you max out the age limit?”
After Gino left, the kids started stretching again, and I too sat on the mat.
But… what did he mean?
That he’s moving up early thanks to me?
No matter how much I chewed it over, I couldn’t figure out what he meant.
Anyway…
Somehow, it feels like the world is helping me.
If Gino goes to the U19 team, the only seconda puntas left on our team are me and Andrea.
If I can just get past Andrea… doesn’t that mean I might seize a starting opportunity?
Then I, Jian.
I’m ready to bet everything on this week’s training.
Andrea!
I won’t face you head— …no, I won’t!
Hyung, please just cut me some slack…!
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